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kami
USA
920 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 08:59:41 AM
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Over the years, samyama has been a core practice here. In retrospect, I'm noticing how this practice has changed my life and everything I thought I knew. Of course, samyama doesn't work unless there is simultaneous cultivation of inner silence. Thought I'd share how this has evolved in my case:
- Taken up initially to expand and deepen inner silence, and the possibility of gaining the qualities suggested by the core sutras (love, radiance, unity, etc) and siddhis(!) what was not to like?
- Once adept at this practice and the clunky phase had passed, there was a push to add more sutras that were relevant to my life (forgiveness, surrender, etc).
- Gradually, every aspect of life became samyama with the presence of the witness. Thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, interactions with others - all were (are) noticed and released into silence.
- At some point, there was the just right combination of inner silence, the witness, ecstatic conductivity and primarily, Grace, to "fall into" self-inquiry with a question that arose out of nowhere - "Who is aware of the witness?"
- Self-inquiry became a samyama practice after that question arose. Wordless questions pertaining to "Who is this me?" dropping into silence on and off the cushion, permeating thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, interactions with others..
- Sometime during this process, there began the simultaneous enquiry into what was my (ego's) will versus Divine will, particularly when there was the desire or push to do samyama for "healing" of others. At the same time, there was the seeing that God alone is, and that all that is happening is Divine will, perfect as is (including my desire to practice samyama for others).
- As this became clearer, there arose a deep conflict within - Who am I to tell God what the outcome ("healing") should be? How can I even know what anyone needs? If this is happening, isn't God already allowing it, and therefore it must be what needed to happen? What then is the purpose of samyama? Is someone really "healed" by my samyama? When and how does "healing" happen?
- At this juncture, the conflict itself became a samyama sutra, being released again and again as it arose. Interestingly, there is a miraculous side-benefit with long-term samyama - it is: the trusting of the process, the silence and the outcome to be magnificently perfect. All of it is seen as one that could not possibly have been any different or more perfect, aka, surrender. Consciously I took up the sutra "Thy will, Krishna".
- And then it became evident in an "a-ha" sort of way - this is the process of giving up my *desire* for outcomes and qualities, not for the actual outcome at all! When I take up "love", "radiance", "unity", I'm bringing up my innate desire for it and releasing it. Who is releasing it? The ego. What is the ego releasing? Itself. What happens when we empty ourselves? The Divine will can "fill" us and manifest through us. This is why we start "seeing" love, radiance, unity, etc everywhere once we start practicing it - it was always there, but we were too caught up in our egos to notice.
- So too with "healing". When I take up somebody's name and release it, I'm essentially saying "Thy will for him/her Krishna, not mine." When "my" will is stripped of all the "my-ness", His will shines through - miracles always happen. How? Exactly as they are happening - perfectly. How could it be otherwise? If I don't see the outcome as a miracle, it is because the "my-ness" and "should be different" has crept in again.
So here it is, this supreme practice of samyama, as it stands now - simply and profoundly, the gradual and systematic chipping away of the ego by itself.
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Edited by - kami on Jun 02 2013 10:38:24 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 09:10:16 AM
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Very Nice!!!
Thanks for writing it down so clearly Kami! 
Life becomes a walking samyama! |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 11:36:57 AM
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Thank you Shanti.
Samyama is the sublime practice of active surrender, as Yogani calls it.
Brings to mind a beautiful quote etched in stained glass at the center we had the recent retreat at:
"...in..the spiritual life...
...progress will be in proportion to
...surrender of self love and of self will and self interests."
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 7:51:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by kami
The Divine will can "fill" us and manifest through us. This is why we start "seeing" love, radiance, unity, etc everywhere once we start practicing it - it was always there, but we were too caught up in our egos to notice.
Brilliant. I'm glad you are describing this throughness. As Yogani says, the ego is the vehicle for enlightenment, so it's not so much a barrier as it is a functional component of evolution.
Through the body, through the mind, through our neurobiology, the Oneness and non-stop miracles are revealed to us. Through the pain, through the suffering, the keys of liberation are handed down from above. Through the diversions, through the piftalls, the mastery of active surrender is acquired.
If Divine will is perfect, so must be the design of ego development and transcendence.
A tree has many leaves, fewer branches, and a single trunk that all grow from one seed. The human race has many faces, fewer races, and a single body-design that manifest from union of sperm and egg. All of life's designs hint at the expansion and collapse into a single point (fractal geometry). So, I think samyama is a conscious discovery of how to let go into that vortex of simultaneous expansion and collapse (again, the image of Sri Yantra comes to mind).
Thank you for this clear and affirming progression. |
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 9:13:08 PM
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Kami, when the question, "Who is aware of the Witness?" arises, we have moved to a somewhat new or different phase of our journey. And Shanti, it's not exactly that, "Life becomes a walking samyama", but rather that there is no longer any separation or difference between one's Life and one's Spiritual Life. They have merged into a wholeness, a Unity, if you will, and, as the Sanskrit word for "Unity" is "Yoga", then when this has occurred, we may call ourselves a Yogi or Yogini. Nothing has actually changed, everything remains just as it was, only we have reached a state of balance, harmony and wholeness. This is not the end of our path, but its true beginning! We no longer need to be "Doing" so much, that seems to mostly take care of itself fairly effortlessly. We may then begin to spend more of our time merely "Being". While Being replaces Doing as our primary or central core of awareness, we may often enter what appears to be a state of frictionless flow, of "Superconductivity" if you will, which some call a state of Grace. Effortlessness prevails, everything goes on outside just as always, but it seems on automatic and concerns us less and less. Silence stand firm, and we no longer much concern ourselves with what might or might not happen due to our efforts. Thus we begin to enter into a state of non-attachment to the results of our actions. We smile much more. Small, ordinary things cause inordinate joy. Is this Enlightenment, Self-realization? Although that question may momentarily arise, we don't even care to answer it! Life has become too exquisite to require any further answers. God is with us every moment, and she lights our very Being. What else is necessary...?
Enjoy, Love, and let all else Be!
Michael |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 9:23:51 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mikkiji
And Shanti, it's not exactly that, "Life becomes a walking samyama", but rather that there is no longer any separation or difference between one's Life and one's Spiritual Life. They have merged into a wholeness, a Unity, if you will, and, as the Sanskrit word for "Unity" is "Yoga", then when this has occurred, we may call ourselves a Yogi or Yogini. Nothing has actually changed, everything remains just as it was, only we have reached a state of balance, harmony and wholeness. This is not the end of our path, but its true beginning! We no longer need to be "Doing" so much, that seems to mostly take care of itself fairly effortlessly. We may then begin to spend more of our time merely "Being". While Being replaces Doing as our primary or central core of awareness, we may often enter what appears to be a state of frictionless flow, of "Superconductivity" if you will, which some call a state of Grace. Effortlessness prevails, everything goes on outside just as always, but it seems on automatic and concerns us less and less. Silence stand firm, and we no longer much concern ourselves with what might or might not happen due to our efforts. Thus we begin to enter into a state of non-attachment to the results of our actions. We smile much more. Small, ordinary things cause inordinate joy. Is this Enlightenment, Self-realization? Although that question may momentarily arise, we don't even care to answer it! Life has become too exquisite to require any further answers. God is with us every moment, and she lights our very Being. What else is necessary...?
Enjoy, Love, and let all else Be!
Michael
Woah! I was telling someone the same thing this morning when she asked me how I was doing... did you read my email Michael?  
Here is a part of what I said...
quote:
Right now, I am enjoying my life... painting, music, work, retreats, emails, talking, texting, kids, family, friends... bringing a balance to my life and enjoying it all. Spirituality is no longer a focus... it just is a part of it all... and going with the flow.
You did say it better than I did though!
Thank you!
Much love!
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 10:01:32 PM
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Michael, thank you. Your writings have a huge impact here.
Yes, there is no distinction at all between life and spirituality. There is no aspect in my day-to-day, mundane activities that is not spiritual. Can't say I've found "balance" - there are times when I get drawn into being this mind-body (even while witnessing all of it) and times when I don't. The difference is that there is no longer a regret or "beating myself up" about it. It is simply not a big deal. There's so much beauty in it, in follies and greatness of mine and others. Its kind of fun to watch all the superimposed modifications arise and fall.. in absolute perfection. When a doer shows up, there is agitation - released in samyama, there is resting in not knowing and loss of that doership. Not knowing what arises next internally or externally, but just a childlike wonder and curiosity to see whatever comes up. While in the past, I was desperately wanting to get "there" with all this, I'm very content to be right here.. For now.
Bodhi, thank you my dear poet-brother.
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Edited by - kami on Jun 02 2013 10:31:21 PM |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2013 : 10:16:32 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by kami
I'm bringing up my innate desire for it and releasing it. Who is releasing it? The ego. What is the ego releasing? Itself. What happens when we empty ourselves? The Divine will can "fill" us and manifest through us. This is why we start "seeing" love, radiance, unity, etc everywhere once we start practicing it - it was always there, but we were too caught up in our egos to notice.
Very nicely explained, as coming from your direct experience with this. I find it helpful listening to someone's insights, and it isn't just the content of what is being said but more so the personal touch behind it, reaching out to you to have that impact. Thank you Kami |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2013 : 4:17:42 PM
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Thank you for sharing this kami, it was inspiring to me to read about your experiences - and your understanding of the samyama process.
After a long period (a year) where I could hardly do AYP at all, as it would instantly cause me to overload, I'm now able to gradually start AYP pranayama and DM again. Looking forward to being able to join in again!
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Edited by - mr_anderson on Jun 03 2013 4:19:13 PM |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2013 : 10:03:41 PM
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Thank you, Aum and Josh.
Josh, funny you mention overload.. Was going to describe how samyama has helped me with this as well.
Overload, as it is understood here, is the process of opening and purification occurring faster than the "preparedness" of the body-mind for it. What compounds it is the subtle "ownership" of the symptoms, not unlike the difference between "pain" and "suffering". Pain can occur without suffering - suffering is the "ownership" of the pain with all the associated subtle or not-so-subtle stories around it..
I've had many symptoms of overload in the past year. It finally came to where I seriously needed to cut back on practices, and I did not want to do that. One day, during my regular evening worship, this blurted out of my heart, "Krishna, if you want to experience yourself as yourself through the vehicle of practices, you'll show me how I can get back to them. Either way, it is your problem." No sooner were the words articulated when I saw my attachment - to practices, to the overload and to the stories around it.. It was very funny, and had me giggling all evening. Taking a step back and releasing those things, the "my-ness" and the clinging to the practices and their effects, has been super effective here. Things are noticed as they come up and released. It's perfectly ok to skip practices, or be steadfast in regular routines, to add more practices if drawn to them, or drop them.. Since I gave the mantle of responsibility of this to my Ishta, why bother carrying it? "My" apparent role is to simply notice the "me" and "my-ness" and let go in samyama..
This may not be the best or prescribed way of dealing with overloads, but it is how it is here.. 
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2013 : 10:32:39 PM
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| I like that, it makes sense. I've realized since I came back to practices, I stopped attaching the idea "I am overloading" to the sensations experienced that mind refers to as overload, and consequently, they pass easily. |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2013 : 11:56:07 AM
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Wonderful thread!
Samyama has been my favorite practice for quite some time, but it wasn't a part of everyday living until the retreat. Something happened there that moved living more into a Samyama mode.
At the risk of giving this undue importance by crafting a story around it....
I think it was pain. Hopefully no one noticed, but sitting was rather intensely painful until Saturday evening. During the meditation and inquiry sessions, the right hip socket was just flooding with pain. If I were at the Emergency Room, where they ask you to rate such things, I would have put it at a 6 or 7 -- not sweating bullets, but still extremely ouchy. There's no injury (or, if there is, it's a very old injury). There's nothing wrong with the muscular or skeletal structure, and I would say there's no physical reason for the pain at all. But there it was.
There wasn't even room for the mantra at times; all I could do was just sit there and be with the pain. It had the effect of pulling me out of thoughts and very deeply into the body. Much later I realized that all the blissful sensations, referenced here, also had the effect of pulling me out of thoughts and into the body. It's just much easier to reject pleasure in favor of feeling in control (control = being dominated by thinking) than it is to reject pain. Pain has a way of taking over, and the pain's message was that it was time for the state of being dominated by thinking to come to an end.
Since the retreat, I've been noticing habitual thought patterns appear. They usually take the form of being attacked in some way (verbally or physically) and the mind responding to the attack. Every time I notice this thought pattern, I do the "please take these burdens" samyama. This particular thought pattern keeps coming back, so I do a lot of this samyama,  but it's starting to lighten up. I've also been noticing this thought pattern in my mother and my daughters, and I marvel at its durability across generations. Hopefully it all stops here!
Anyway, once something is noticed, samyama gives me a way to let it go.
On pain and overload... It's definitely the story around it that makes us suffer. We create an identity of someone who is overloading or of someone who is in pain, and the symptoms become much worse. It's like thinking your leg is broken when all you've done is pulled a muscle. But the pain from pulling a muscle is still a useful message letting you know that the body wasn't ready for whatever it was you did. It's a loving response to listen to it and back off.
Love!!
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2013 : 12:44:16 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by whippoorwill
Wonderful thread!
Samyama has been my favorite practice for quite some time, but it wasn't a part of everyday living until the retreat. Something happened there that moved living more into a Samyama mode.
At the risk of giving this undue importance by crafting a story around it....
I think it was pain. Hopefully no one noticed, but sitting was rather intensely painful until Saturday evening. During the meditation and inquiry sessions, the right hip socket was just flooding with pain. If I were at the Emergency Room, where they ask you to rate such things, I would have put it at a 6 or 7 -- not sweating bullets, but still extremely ouchy. There's no injury (or, if there is, it's a very old injury). There's nothing wrong with the muscular or skeletal structure, and I would say there's no physical reason for the pain at all. But there it was.
There wasn't even room for the mantra at times; all I could do was just sit there and be with the pain. It had the effect of pulling me out of thoughts and very deeply into the body. Much later I realized that all the blissful sensations, referenced here, also had the effect of pulling me out of thoughts and into the body. It's just much easier to reject pleasure in favor of feeling in control (control = being dominated by thinking) than it is to reject pain. Pain has a way of taking over, and the pain's message was that it was time for the state of being dominated by thinking to come to an end.
Since the retreat, I've been noticing habitual thought patterns appear. They usually take the form of being attacked in some way (verbally or physically) and the mind responding to the attack. Every time I notice this thought pattern, I do the "please take these burdens" samyama. This particular thought pattern keeps coming back, so I do a lot of this samyama, but it's starting to lighten up. I've also been noticing this thought pattern in my mother and my daughters, and I marvel at its durability across generations. Hopefully it all stops here!
Anyway, once something is noticed, samyama gives me a way to let it go.
On pain and overload... It's definitely the story around it that makes us suffer. We create an identity of someone who is overloading or of someone who is in pain, and the symptoms become much worse. It's like thinking your leg is broken when all you've done is pulled a muscle. But the pain from pulling a muscle is still a useful message letting you know that the body wasn't ready for whatever it was you did. It's a loving response to listen to it and back off.
Love!!
Ohhh Liz!!
And through that pain, all that the rest of us noticed was your smile and calm radiance.. You never said a word about it! There's that vital difference between pain and suffering - you exemplify it so well.
Hope it is better..?
Something happened at the retreat for me too. Perhaps it was the call to pause-relax-open in Insight Dialogue.. That seems exactly what samyama is, isn't it? To pause, relax, open and trust whatever comes up and release it all.. While I had read the book some years ago after the first AYP retreat, the message of the book had not hit home like this time, most likely related to the student not being "ripe" then.
Much love and hugs to you. Thank you for being an inspiration for so many of us. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2013 : 3:08:58 PM
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| Liz, Wow! You're amazing! Thank you for being present on so many levels to all that was going on in the retreat. Thank you for allowing us to witness here some of your journey with pain. Bewell |
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lufa1212
India
45 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2013 : 04:29:46 AM
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Kami,
Thank you for such a wonderful thread. The posts speak volumes...there is lots of insight to gain.
Practices - off and on, Witnessing - off and on, Sufferings and Pain - off and on.... the only continuity is the utter emptiness in which it all is happening.
Life's vagaries have the potential to pull me into the existential vortex time and again...sometimes the inner silence/witness is there to "see" it all and sometimes it is absolute absorption in the life dealings...but then it all still goes on...life keeps happening..
to all
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 10:10:35 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by lufa1212
Kami,
Thank you for such a wonderful thread. The posts speak volumes...there is lots of insight to gain.
Practices - off and on, Witnessing - off and on, Sufferings and Pain - off and on.... the only continuity is the utter emptiness in which it all is happening.
Life's vagaries have the potential to pull me into the existential vortex time and again...sometimes the inner silence/witness is there to "see" it all and sometimes it is absolute absorption in the life dealings...but then it all still goes on...life keeps happening..
to all
Hi Lufa,
Life simply does keep happening, doesn't it? Yet, I have to admit I've taken it all so seriously this whole time, "spirituality" notwithstanding... Going about doing, achieving, acquiring.. Even on the spiritual path!
Looking at it all, it seems that most of what we do can end up being shunning one undesired identity for another, more desirable/acceptable one.. for example, one might go from being identified as a victim to feeling very powerful with "acquisition" of yogic insights or healing abilities, or from being awkward in high school romance to having astral energetic charisma.. Or simply walk around with a self-imagined halo... in all cases, shedding old baggage for new ones with sparkly, "spiritual" name tags.. This trap is subtle and heartbreakingly beautiful in its subtlety - a lesson to never underestimate Mother Maya..
Only recently has the Buddha's teaching of the middle way come to make sense here.. And all in the context of samyama... In spacious openness, I don't have a need to be "spiritual" any more than "needing" to be a woman, or spouse, or parent. Occasionally, identification as one of these might arise, but when seen and let go, the open spaciousness is seen to permeate even that identification, those thoughts and emotions, not unlike lucid dreaming.
And it is all seen to simply be part of the game that Brahman and Maya have been playing with each other since the beginning of time...
It's all good.
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Edited by - kami on Jun 06 2013 10:11:21 PM |
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Zanyan
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 9:44:23 PM
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| Thank you for posting your beautiful insights and direct experiences, Kami, (and everyone on this thread.) |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2013 : 4:33:32 PM
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Samyama and addictions
Over the past few years, I've come to see a whole new dimension and meaning to addictions. While I spend a considerable amount of time in my work counseling people regarding addiction to drugs, nicotine and alcohol, it has become clear that the majority of us are addicts. We are deeply addicted to our thought patterns/vasanas. There is usually one common story behind most emotional triggers, a very old story from years/decades ago. Yet, those triggers short-circuit countless times, burning a deep grove that seems impossible to step out of.
Each of us has a different core story/addiction that seems to determine the type of emotional response or the "thing that gets" us. For some, it may be social or political situations that seem to push the buttons or work/vocation/money-related for some others. But interpersonal relationships is what it is about for a large number of us. Early childhood experiences influence all other relationships to come.. and if a core story is built and believed in during those formative years, that story will drive most thought patterns and emotional responses throughout one's life. These can involve the sense of self-worth, and the hunger to be accepted by others and oneself.
For me, the test of spiritual progress has always been in personal relationships. Social, political, work and other matters don't seem to touch me the same way. When I initially became aware of this fact, the way of dealing with hurt, anger or disappointment in relationships was to bypass it. For years I read self-help books, tried one technique or other (japa, distraction, denial, firm determination..) to give up the addiction to those thoughts.
And finally, it occurred to me that the only way out of it is through it - I would have to face whatever it is I was running from and accept it and that it would continue to surface until then. It is this that brought me to spiritual practices. Gradually and over years of practices, samyama and inquiry, the core story was seen, the one that has led to my addiction to this personality - the story of not being loved and being let down, the one that had led to desperate hunger and longing for love and acceptance, and to hurt and conflict in their perceived lack/absence.
With repeated seeing and letting go in samyama, this story has lost it's appeal and it's glamour. Even to me, the story is old and boring. And with it, the hunger has abated, leading to noticing that love, acceptance and rejection are merely ideas in this context with no real grounding. The story itself was/is an illusion that exists nowhere but in my imagination/memory; like a house of cards, the thought addictions built upon it collapse along with the foundational story. When welcomed, the experience of pain lived through and let go into stillness, the story loses its juice. Like any other addiction, the thoughts may continue to arise now and again out of habit, but they are few and far in between. If an emotional button is activated, the addiction is seen with compassion, and let go. But there is no need to bypass, to run from or to suppress any of it.
I feel a close kinship with every addict, in seeing how alike we all are. We might as well introduce ourselves in the AA fashion, "Hi, my name is kami and I'm a thought addict".
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Edited by - kami on Jun 21 2013 5:54:42 PM |
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2013 : 9:24:36 PM
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| Thanks Kami...this is a big help for me to hear right now. |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2013 : 12:25:47 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by BillinL.A.
Thanks Kami...this is a big help for me to hear right now.
Thank you for reading, Bill. Much love and peace to you. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2013 : 2:03:29 PM
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Hello, my name is BodhiTree, and I'm addicted to tapping into the divine, infinite potential within me via spiritual practices. I'm also addicted to congregating with people who like doing the same thing. The source of my disease is bhakti, and the host which carries said disease is my body and mind. The only remedy I have found is picking up and releasing intentions repeatedly so that I can surrender to a mysterious flow...bringing me more, more, and more. This deadly spiral keeps sucking me into a vortex of bliss and ecstasy, and what's worse is that I appear to be able to remain functional in a way that allows me to meaningfully contribute to society.
Fellow disease-carriers like Kami make matters even worse--so much so that I am almost crippled in a state of awe and wonderment while in their presence.    |
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Evannon
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2013 : 3:58:30 PM
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BEAUTIFULLY said, Kami! Samyama has triggered similar processes in me - the "healing" desire, the self-inquiry, an "a-ha" moment when I realized that the Buddhist idea of "emptiness" means (or CAN mean, for ME) the emptiness or disappearance of the ego, so that this body/mind/spirit becomes a clear channel through which divine consciousness can flow.
The most challenging and growth-inducing sutra in Yogani's samyama is "abundance." I have, in the past, associated that word with materialism and greed. (Abundance for "ME!") How silly that seems now! When one recognizes the abundance of the universe - the true infinitude of love, joy, compassion, grace... greed - and the fear that drives it - both dissolve. Abundance for ALL!
But I don't feel I can explain that as well as you explained your experience. THANK YOU SO MUCH! |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2013 : 12:12:44 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Evannon
BEAUTIFULLY said, Kami! Samyama has triggered similar processes in me - the "healing" desire, the self-inquiry, an "a-ha" moment when I realized that the Buddhist idea of "emptiness" means (or CAN mean, for ME) the emptiness or disappearance of the ego, so that this body/mind/spirit becomes a clear channel through which divine consciousness can flow.
The most challenging and growth-inducing sutra in Yogani's samyama is "abundance." I have, in the past, associated that word with materialism and greed. (Abundance for "ME!") How silly that seems now! When one recognizes the abundance of the universe - the true infinitude of love, joy, compassion, grace... greed - and the fear that drives it - both dissolve. Abundance for ALL!
But I don't feel I can explain that as well as you explained your experience. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Oh Evannon, your expression is so pure and authentic. Thank you.
Funny, this thing about abundance is something that came up recently for me too. When I first started samyama, I was not sure what it meant.. Wealth? Prosperity? Longevity?
The form of the Divine Feminine that draws me is Goddess Lakshmi - the bestower of abundance. For years, I've chanted the Sri Suktam (a Rig Vedic hymn in honor of Shakti in the form of Lakshmi) for no particular reason, except that I love the way it sounds. In retrospect, I've been buried under an avalanche of abundance.. Whether it is the sutra of "abundance" in samyama or the sound of "Shree" in DM or the mystical power of Sri Suktam that works like this, I don't know.. For me, "abundance" represents gratitude - for this life, for this path, for the Grace of the Divine Mother, for everything..
Much love. |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2013 : 2:54:29 PM
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Samyama for emotional triggers and "hooks"
Lately, I've been working with the issue of emotional triggers, those that bring about the cascade of reactions along the well-worn grooves of conditioning. Not that this has not been examined before; it was seeing this cascade in a moment of perfect clarity and the trajectory of my life in that mind-set that brought me to meditation many years ago. But meditation alone cannot "fix" these deep-rooted tendencies. In fact, growing inner silence initially brought it all into sharp focus, creating pain and frustration. Although these triggers have been attenuated to an extent, they are not totally gone. This is where samyama comes in.
Felt-sense as a samyama practice: it has been particularly powerful for me to work with triggers before they happen. In this practice, I sit as usual, noticing inner silence. Instead of a sutra, I deliberately bring up the felt-sense of an old or ongoing issue (for example, the feeling of being let down by someone) - the constriction is immediately and easily recognized. Bringing gentle focus to the feeling, I dive deeper into it, past mind stories and down to the very, very subtle I-sense behind it all until there is nothing more behind it, just emptiness (it is useful to not get lost in that emptiness, because of the pitfall of spiritual bypassing). Feeling the lack of stronghold of the trigger helps tremendously, and for this the only way is through the felt-sense. From this space of openness, I let it go, bringing attention back to silence. Becoming familiar with the subtleties of triggers is the key for this practice to work during daily life as described below.
There are three stages during which a trigger or hook can be "caught". And the purpose of "catching" them is to remain in the intimacy and immediacy of the actual experience, to notice the actual felt-sense of the emotion that is brought up, so it can be released. It is essential to stay with the felt-sense, bringing attention back to it, rather than the mind stories that are immediately triggered by the felt-sense:
1. The subtle arising of a pre-thought feeling in a situation. This is the first indicator that the hook is about to be bitten. At this stage, it is super tempting to bite, but also possible to avoid it altogether. As soon as that subtle pre-thought feeling is noticed, it can be released in samyama, returning to inner silence and becoming fully present in the moment. A few moments later, notice the felt-sense again and release. A few times of this and the trigger has passed by. With all this, there is no need to (in fact, it is preferable not to) label the felt-sense as anger, irritation, sadness, pride, jealousy, smugness, whatever. It is essential to see that no matter what the emotion, it is expressed pretty much in the same way - constriction as opposed to spacious openness.
2. The hook has been bitten. At this point, we know we've taken the bait, but the cascade is only beginning to unravel. The anger/sadness/whatever is building, along with the unleashing of associated (and always old) mind stories. Here, it helps to first take a few deep breaths and come into present moment awareness, by shifting attention to the surroundings and details/patterns around us (ambient noises, birds chirping, cars starting, details of furniture, etc). When the frenzy of the emotion has abated a tad, it helps to shift attention to the felt-sense of the current experience rather than the mind story. Is the feeling unpleasant? Where is it? What does it feel like (tightness, burning, etc)? When focused on the felt-sense, it is possible to shift attention a bit more inward, to feel the energy behind the emotion. I find that experiencing this energy and doing samyama with it releases it immediately. Once again, it works best if there is no label attached to it.
3. The cascade is well under way. At this stage, the stories have bloomed (once again, as they have countless times in the past) and the emotion is on its well-worn path. If one becomes aware that this has occurred, the best remedy is to breathe and stop talking/interacting, and engage in something else until the frenzy has abated. When a bit saner, bring awareness back to the present moment (much harder at this stage than 1 and 2), and focus on the felt-sense (as in 2).
Doing samyama with the felt-sense as a sitting practice makes it possible to catch the triggers further and further upstream. And it is absolutely essential to get to the root samskara of the trigger in order to be free of it.
Will post any updates to this practice as it evolves.
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Edited by - kami on Jul 26 2013 3:03:13 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2013 : 3:51:22 PM
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Splendid. A very coherent and realistic appraisal on the samyama process. This resonates with my practice.
In addition to the baseline samyama practice post Deep Meditation, I also do something I call "bundling". If during the normal waking hours, I get frustrated about something, I let my mind run unabated until it reaches either a peak point of friction, or a convenient moment of pause. At this point, I reduce and "bundle" the thought-feeling stream into a simple sutra and release it, following the normal 15-second rhythm. This has worked well for me because I let my mind "vent" and then use the raw energy as fuel to be refined by the process of samyama. Consequently, there is less repression and more integration/transformation. Any topic is fair game, and it's open season to let stillness start mowing down the obstructions. The stillness monster just munches on all the raw fertilizer of raw emotion. His appetite is insatiable. He's a true dragon that I've befriended and that continues to bail me out of potentially misguided situations. |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2013 : 1:07:28 PM
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Thank you Bodhi.
Have you tried working with the pre-thought felt-sense in normal waking hours?
Much love to you. |
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Evolution of samyama
