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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 09:47:01 AM
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All I have left is an attempt to salvage my integrity, and what does my integrity lay upon? Upon my ability to speak MY truth with a peaceful heart and mind. My honesty rests upon my ability to rotate 360 degrees and be at peace with everyone I face. That's not as easy task, considering the amount of bullsh*t I've waded into by making decisions of non-unity, and by utilizing strategies of non-integrity. What decisions and strategies? Well, when I've made a decision to use my will power to stand out, or be recognized, or be placed "above" another for the sake of prideful pleasure, I have weakened my integrity. Also, if I've sought a vendetta against someone, or tried to punish someone for what I perceived to be wrongdoing against me, or one of my friends, then that posture has also diminished my integrity.
I would say that integrity is God-consciousness forming into human character. As humans evolve, we are becoming more God-like, and therefore full of more integrity. I would say that the neurobiological transformation of enlightenment is the fluid and versatile solidification of Truth--not only in a grandoise, abstract way, but also in trivial, practical manners.
I remember when I told my wife that I had cheated on her. That was one of the most liberating moments of my life. It was painful. It led to the demise of our marriage. But, it set us free. We sat with the Truth--not just the Truth that God is absolute (or any of that philosophical nonsense), but the Truth of our actions, our feelings, and our human imperfection and continued development. That, to me, is just as important as any high-brow realization of non-duality, or some pronouncement that "I am That".
Human character is shaped by the Spirit, and our individual choices to cultivate the movement of Spirit within our activities will determine how effective and enjoyable that sculpting process is.
So, I wonder and ask myself, is there anyone out there that I still have to come clean with, including myself? First, I have to be honest with myself, then another person. Like that. In AA, it's called reviewing character defects and doing a fearless and searching moral inventory of oneself, then finally making amends to others we've harmed. Making amends isn't just apologizing; it's about changing the pattern of behavior/thinking that led to the problem. Often, for me, the pattern has been trying to achieve a position of dominance or superiority. Or, I've tried to manipulate or contrive the situation so that I DON'T LOSE. I never wanted TO LOSE. I wanted TO WIN, always.
Now, I don't care about losing so much. I just accept that I'll have to endure some losses, and when the victories come, I just focus on sustaining the momentum. But nothing on the material plane can be sustained permanenty (right?), so I work on sustaining the Spirit, mostly.
The solution has been easily favoring an abiding state of equality and homeostasis. I have to feed the benevolent flow of back-and-forth exchange for the betterment of all parties concerned.
Anyone have any thoughts on integrity and the sculpting of human character by Spirit?   |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 10:37:46 AM
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Hi Cody,
You raise some excellent points in your post and it made me very thoughtful about my own personal journey. I agree completely with your point about "coming clean" and have often struggled with it at times. Also, I have noticed that even when I have thought I have done it, I later find that there had been some deeper aspect that I had missed (causing me to have to go back to it). But, I would like to add that more than just coming clean, one needs to go further and "forgive" themselves and others. Often one may admit something, but it can just be left an open wound without the healing of forgiveness.
I also agree with your defining spirit concept. To me, life is to be lived. And as you have said, it should be done with integrity. And part of that integrity is being true to your self. I believe that we are all unique aspects (or components) of God/Brahman/Emptiness and I "cleanly admit" that I am infinitely curious. But, I find great joy in learning/knowing more of God and I hope others do to...
Everyone have a good weekend. 
(Edit - iPad issue) |
Edited by - jeff on Nov 16 2013 10:45:43 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 11:36:42 AM
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Yes, forgiveness is key, Jeff. Thank you for the affirmation.
Here is how I define forgiveness:
(noun) 1. Cellular rejuvenation resulting from the spontaneous awareness of the innocence of every creature, coupled with a simultaneous re-alignment to Truth and a consequential jump towards union with Eternity.
(Quoted from The Dictionary of Bodhi Tree...in stores soon...) |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 11:50:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Here is how I define forgiveness:
(noun) 1. Cellular rejuvenation resulting from the spontaneous awareness of the innocence of every creature, coupled with a simultaneous re-alignment to Truth and a consequential jump towards union with Eternity.
(Quoted from The Dictionary of Bodhi Tree...in stores soon...)
Huh?
Forgiveness is unadulterated love... and begins and ends with "self" (nothing exists outside of us) |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 1:47:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Yes, forgiveness is key, Jeff. Thank you for the affirmation.
Here is how I define forgiveness:
(noun) 1. Cellular rejuvenation resulting from the spontaneous awareness of the innocence of every creature, coupled with a simultaneous re-alignment to Truth and a consequential jump towards union with Eternity.
(Quoted from The Dictionary of Bodhi Tree...in stores soon...)
I very much like your dictionary.
Please forgive in advance my version...
(Verb) 1. Ongoing increasing clarity resulting from the spontaneous awareness of the innocence of every creature, coupled with a simultaneous re-alignment to Truth and a reduction of obscuration of union with Eternity.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 9:38:24 PM
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LOL. Well, we'll just make it "open source" like AYP with only a suggested baseline of practices and no copyright infringements to worry about. We're rapidly moving towards a non-profit universe where no one can own anything, including their own body. So long to attachments, identifications, and erroneous labels like "me" and "mine".
@Shanti
"Unadulterated Love"...that sounds like a great title for a spiritual romance novel... maybe a continuation of the tantric sex adventures of John Wilder...raising the bar from a mere PG-13 rating to the X rating ("X" meaning "ecstasy" in this case, rather than the normal carnal connotation)?
This forum is brimming with creative genius, I tell you!  |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2013 : 05:07:23 AM
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| Integrity and honesty in events, towards others but also towards oneself |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2013 : 9:15:48 PM
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I'd say that integrity, or wholeness, and terms like honesty, awareness, love, reality, innocence, presence, spirit, etc. are essentially synonymous. They all indicate the simple loving oneness that is, right here, right now, when ego's crazy ideas are not obscuring it.
Forgiveness is the letting go that restores that reality, by not bringing any remembered, imagined judgments of anything or anyone into the present moment.
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2013 : 10:07:50 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
Forgiveness is the letting go that restores that reality, by not bringing any remembered, imagined judgments of anything or anyone into the present moment.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2013 : 10:38:39 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
Forgiveness is the letting go that restores that reality, by not bringing any remembered, imagined judgments of anything or anyone into the present moment.
Perhaps you've heard the saying: "Forgive, but don't forget." That pretty much sums it up for me. "Letting go" is not a wiping clear, or erasure, of memory, or feeling, or any other products of ego. In fact, I find that the more I dive into inner silence, the more I can remember and access the archives of past experiences for the benefit of my spiritual development. "Letting go" is a process of active surrender in which all of the past is embraced, with all its imperfections, guilts, shames, and murky shadows.
When I cheated on my wife and finally told her, I wanted very badly for her to "forget about it"...to sweep it under the rug, so we could move on. But she didn't, and thank God she didn't. Instead, we went into marriage counseling and used AWARENESS to face the underlying issues, which involved dredging up the past. It was that dredging that led to an improvement in both of our character and consciousness. Our marriage didn't survive, but our integrity did.
Deep Meditation is a dredging into past karma--a housecleaning of obstructions embedded in the matrix.
One another note, I think one of the most confusing, misunderstood, and misleading concepts in spiritual talk these days is the push to "be in the now" or "be in the present moment". What I perceive is that many people interpret that directive as a disregarding of, or denial of, or lack of interest in, the PAST or FUTURE. One's awareness should only be focused on the present moment in time and space. In other words, be mindful of the carrots you're chopping, or the conversation you're having, or the dishes you're cleaning, etc.
For me, such an attitude is all well and good, but it doesn't capture the fullness of the NOW, because for me, the NOW contains all past, all present, and all future. The more I dive into the NOW, the more I can use the past as a tool for learning, and the more I can foresee future possibilities and trajectories.
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
They all indicate the simple loving oneness that is, right here, right now, when ego's crazy ideas are not obscuring it.
Another thing is, once again, this issue of the "ego". The ego is yet another vocabulary word that gets brandished and twirled around with such fumbling (sometimes dexterity) that it just does more harm than good, for me. The ego is not the enemy. The ego doesn't obscure Reality, or Truth, or Enlightenment. The ego is the vehicle of enlightenment (http://www.aypsite.org/428.html). What more do I have than my ego, which is a body and mind to cultivate the Spirit within?
Just to wrap up the forgiveness topic...
My dad recently got out of prison AGAIN (his 3rd term--yay!), and when he got out, he started drinking right off the bat. He asked me if he could stay at my house, and I said: "Sorry, Dad, I can't do that. You haven't changed."
I forgive him, but I don't forget the wrecking ball and the behavioral patterns that led to the destruction. I hold no resentment, but I don't tolerate the bullsh*t.
Here's another great lesson from Yogani on forgiving, but not forgetting:
Tough Love
http://www.aypsite.org/272.html
So, Kirtanman, I'm totally with you and in 100% agreement about letting go of judgments, and punitive postures, and secret vendettas. However, to let go of the past, one must fully dive into the past and allow it to properly shape our ever-evolving character. And we must look forward, and dream, and build a better future. Evolution is change, and there is no change when there is a resistance to the flow of the learning mechanisms (or from a more Zen perspective, the "unlearning" mechanisms) of growth and development. Both modalities work, actually. We learn new skills and tasks (Deep Meditation, Samyama) and we un-learn other habits and inferior patterns (addiction, resentment, revenge).
Thanks for lighting the fire again! |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2013 : 6:02:28 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Perhaps you've heard the saying: "Forgive, but don't forget." That pretty much sums it up for me. "Letting go" is not a wiping clear, or erasure, of memory, or feeling, or any other products of ego.
Letting go is simply a letting go of judgment - natural memory still remains, and life flows, in my experience, with a peaceful pragmatism.
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
They all indicate the simple loving oneness that is, right here, right now, when ego's crazy ideas are not obscuring it.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
The ego is the vehicle of enlightenment (http://www.aypsite.org/428.html). What more do I have than my ego, which is a body and mind to cultivate the Spirit within?
Thanks for linking to that lesson; Yogani's words there may help to clear up any seeming differences between your view and mine.
Some quotes from Yogani in Lesson 428 that stood out, for me:
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"There can be no "getting rid" of the ego, because ego is a product of the mind, and so too is the act of getting rid of something an act of the mind. We can move things around in the mind, but we cannot get rid of them, except by transcending the mind altogether.
This is what meditation is for – cultivating abiding inner silence, that which is beyond the mind.
But in doing so, we are not getting rid of the mind or the ego, we are only illuminating them with our inner light of pure bliss consciousness. In this way both the mind and the ego are transformed in their role in the expression of our life, which radiates more and more from the infinite source of peace and creativity within us."
And
"What is the ego anyway, but identified awareness? It is the same awareness that we find in enlightenment when identification has faded. Same awareness – much happier situation."
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"We can only operate from where we are, and there is no practical reason to divide ourselves into good and bad, ego and non-ego.
It's all one thing (one awareness) in the process of transformation from expressing with identification to expressing without identification."
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What I'm calling forgiveness or letting go is just the release of judgment (of good or bad, in people and situations, which keeps focus on conditioned imagination) which is one tool -- though a very key tool, in my experience -- which can help to facilitate that transformation.
In my experience, all practices are about removing barriers to awareness of the beauty, love and wholeness that is reality.
Formal practices cover longer-term removal, and ongoing letting go removes, or greatly reduces, the barriers of conceptual judgment that we might otherwise bring into a given moment, on a moment to moment basis, as needed.
When those conceptual barriers are absent, the light of truth, by any name, can shine through and inform any moment. When those barriers obscure the reality of any given moment ... it's just another rerun.
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Edited by - Kirtanman on Nov 18 2013 6:04:05 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2013 : 09:17:35 AM
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Thank you, Kirtanman, for running parallel with me along these lines of self-inquiry.
I like your metaphor of being stuck in a re-run when the barriers of suffering are obscuring the clear light of the Now. When I am dwelling in the expansive space of unconfined awareness, all that I perceive has a fresh and spontaneous glimmer shining forth intrinsically. When I have been wrapped in a static, stale and non-dynamic mind, reality is more like a mind-numbing re-run. I think, that is why, in Buddhism, suffering is called "samsara", which is a wheel that turns over and over in the cycle of birth and re-birth.
Nirvana is freedom from the wheel, and freedom from the conditioning which keeps us in the wheel. Like velcro, I am alway seeking to peel my awareness off the stickiness of limitations, beginning with identification. Sticky, sticky, sticky. Velcro, velcro, velcro. Can you hear the velcro noise...that "cchhhhhh" sound? And then the little velcro-man is going "Ahhhhhh,Ohhhh,Yeahhhh...that feels SOOO good." See, I am little velcro-man, but not identified as little velcro-man, mind you--just merely playing the character of little velcro-man for a short time in this cosmic movie show. Henceforth, I will introduce myself not as "Bodhi Tree", but as "Little Velcro Man". |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2013 : 7:19:56 PM
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Hi Bodhi Tree / Little Velcro Man,
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Thank you, Kirtanman, for running parallel with me along these lines of self-inquiry.
I like your metaphor of being stuck in a re-run when the barriers of suffering are obscuring the clear light of the Now. When I am dwelling in the expansive space of unconfined awareness, all that I perceive has a fresh and spontaneous glimmer shining forth intrinsically. When I have been wrapped in a static, stale and non-dynamic mind, reality is more like a mind-numbing re-run.
Yep; same. I think we all know that one. Bit by bit, expansive awareness becomes more and more the norm, but reactive mind still tries to do its perceived job, and serve up re-runs in any number of situations.
And, as you point out above --- it's very much a night-and-day (or, more accurately a dream-and-waking) kind of thing that we get a feel for, over time.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Nirvana is freedom from the wheel, and freedom from the conditioning which keeps us in the wheel. Like velcro, I am alway seeking to peel my awareness off the stickiness of limitations, beginning with identification. Sticky, sticky, sticky. Velcro, velcro, velcro. Can you hear the velcro noise...that "cchhhhhh" sound? And then the little velcro-man is going "Ahhhhhh,Ohhhh,Yeahhhh...that feels SOOO good." See, I am little velcro-man, but not identified as little velcro-man, mind you--just merely playing the character of little velcro-man for a short time in this cosmic movie show. Henceforth, I will introduce myself not as "Bodhi Tree", but as "Little Velcro Man".
Yep. What keeps us bound to the wheel is the resistance to the flow -- and reactive, imaginary thinking is the primary way we do this. That's why, in my experience, letting go (aka forgiveness) of conceptual judgments can be so helpful ... it's the rapid and easy ripping of that velcro you mentioned.
Mind will reference conditioned judgments as long as we believe in them - but if we look directly at them, and realize they're all iterations of imagination, even the emotionally-charged stuff gets easier and easier to let go.
Judgment of people and situations as good and bad is all imagination: "we" judge our image of another person, via a constricted, conditioned lens of an image of our self, using the remembered, arbitrarily conditioned ideas that that image confuses with reality -- which, as we all well know, is no fun at all.
Letting go restores us to "the expansive space of unconfined awareness" as you so artfully put it -- and from that natural perspective, the imagined wars of the conditioned self don't even make sense.
In my experience, this is because reactive, egoic condition can only make it all about (its ideas of) "me" - "how I feel, what I did, what you did", etc. etc.
In "the expansive space of unconfined awareness", aka our natural state, we naturally want only the best for all, because we're not making up any separation or conflict -- and we naturally feel that loving is something we're here to give, and that none of the conditioned games that try to super-glue us to the wheel can ever benefit anyone -- not even the conditioned ego that tries to play them from time to time.
And I agree; ego's not an enemy; it can't help what it does --- it's not like it's conscious. It's just running its program, as programs do.
Letting go just changes the channel (i.e. perspective) from the bad dream of judgment to "the expansive space of unconfined awareness", aka our natural state.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2013 : 10:54:22 AM
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To that, kirtanman, I will say...a-hip, a-hip, a-hip-hip-hooray...groovin' in this funky, wunky, junky consciousness...all night long until eternity.
P.S. I woke up this morning and one of my housemates was coughing because he has come down with a cold, so I went up to him and said: "Here, let me do some healing on you..." then I put my hands around his throat in a pretend choking way and started laughing, and he said: "You laugh like a joker psychopath maniac."
LMAO! Good times, good times on the homefront. |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2013 : 8:46:39 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
To that, kirtanman, I will say...a-hip, a-hip, a-hip-hip-hooray...groovin' in this funky, wunky, junky consciousness...all night long until eternity.
P.S. I woke up this morning and one of my housemates was coughing because he has come down with a cold, so I went up to him and said: "Here, let me do some healing on you..." then I put my hands around his throat in a pretend choking way and started laughing, and he said: "You laugh like a joker psychopath maniac."
LMAO! Good times, good times on the homefront.
Very cool, all around.
And out of all available healing modalities ..... yours sounds ... uniquely customized!
PS- Just tell your housemates that the laughter is an AYP thing ... as evidenced by the fact that, in my experience (and yours, per the Michigan retreat this past May) ... that whenever AYPers get together, there's a whole lot of it (laughter)!
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Integrity and Honesty
