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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Sep 30 2008 :  12:24:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hello Everyone,

I am hoping that if it is not too much to ask, that if any of you doing samyama practice regularly would mind including my name in it for the next couple of weeks I would be more then grateful. As many of you know I am detoxing from methadone right now, and I am down to the difficult and for many people the impossible part. I am now down to 5 mg's a day, which has been incredibly tough. I dropped from 10mg's a day last thursday (a 50% reduction, more then any doctor will willingly allow) and I have been quite "ill" since then. Up till then the withdrawls have been neglible, overcome easily with AYP and a little mary jane. But the past few days, and the next two months or so are most likely going to be hell on earth for me. I drop to 2.5mg's daily in two days (thursday again) which will be another 50% drop, and I am likely going to be really sick. Then the following thursday I drop from 2.5 to 1mg daily(the biggest % drop yet) for one more week. Then on October 15th I no longer get a dose. (I know people who have been on 1mg a day for over 3 years. For many people dropping the last milligram is completely impossible as it is a 100% drop in dosage) So in two weeks and two days I will be completely clean, and most likely VERY sick. I am trying really hard to keep up with my practices, (and have been doing well with that) but the practices alone are not giving me the physical comfort they were when I first started my detox on August 1st. So I am hoping that a little extra prayer and samyama from friends here will help me stay strong, and keep with my October 15th date of being completely clean. And maybe even help me deal with the discomfort of withdrawl. Not trying to push anyone into making their samyama any longer then it needs to be, but if you have a little extra time at the end, it would be great to have a little extra help from YOUR inner silence, as mine isn't cutting it anymore. Thanks in advance if you do choose to include me. I appreciate it more then I can express. Thank you all.

In Love,
CarsonZi

Edited by - AYPforum on Oct 02 2008 6:19:42 PM

Richard

United Kingdom
857 Posts

Posted - Sep 30 2008 :  2:49:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I will be happy to include your name Carson
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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Sep 30 2008 :  8:30:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
So will I CarsonZi, you will be in my prayers and samayama, your courage is inspiring. On a side note, is it necessary to proceed so quickly, would more gradually make the symptoms more manageable?
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Sep 30 2008 :  11:38:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
I am hoping that if it is not too much to ask, that if any of you doing samyama practice regularly would mind including my name in it for the next couple of weeks I would be more then grateful. As many of you know I am detoxing from methadone right now, and I am down to the difficult and for many people the impossible part. I am now down to 5 mg's a day, which has been incredibly tough. I dropped from 10mg's a day last thursday (a 50% reduction, more then any doctor will willingly allow) and I have been quite "ill" since then. Up till then the withdrawls have been neglible, overcome easily with AYP and a little mary jane. But the past few days, and the next two months or so are most likely going to be hell on earth for me. I drop to 2.5mg's daily in two days (thursday again) which will be another 50% drop, and I am likely going to be really sick. Then the following thursday I drop from 2.5 to 1mg daily(the biggest % drop yet) for one more week. Then on October 15th I no longer get a dose. (I know people who have been on 1mg a day for over 3 years. For many people dropping the last milligram is completely impossible as it is a 100% drop in dosage) So in two weeks and two days I will be completely clean, and most likely VERY sick. I am trying really hard to keep up with my practices, (and have been doing well with that) but the practices alone are not giving me the physical comfort they were when I first started my detox on August 1st. So I am hoping that a little extra prayer and samyama from friends here will help me stay strong, and keep with my October 15th date of being completely clean. And maybe even help me deal with the discomfort of withdrawl. Not trying to push anyone into making their samyama any longer then it needs to be, but if you have a little extra time at the end, it would be great to have a little extra help from YOUR inner silence, as mine isn't cutting it anymore. Thanks in advance if you do choose to include me. I appreciate it more then I can express. Thank you all.

Hey CarsonZI,

I've been following your recovery through different threads & category on AYP forum.

Please watch this video from track time 1h00min11s & listen to this incredible korean shaman till the end of the video
http://video.google.nl/videoplay?do...525917926602

Have in mind that still using mary jane is the worse thing you can do right now, a very tricky plant fooling time with accumulated effects hence totally messing the self-pacing process.

One last suggestion, don't start your local AYP addict support group before you've successfully removed methadone. The rule is to only teach something you've been all the way through otherwise energy will be leaking out again through other forms from your system.

In Shakti, Albert

Edited by - selfonlypath on Oct 01 2008 04:06:52 AM
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Katrine

Norway
1813 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  04:05:52 AM  Show Profile  Visit Katrine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Carson

I will include you in Samyama (and be present with your energy whenever I feel called) from now on.

Please remember that self-pacing includes whatever it is you are going through - drug withdrawals or anything else. If the "end line" of October 15th has to be moved further; then use this occation as a way to surrender to what is. Have you considered the fact that in addition to the severe physical symptoms it might also be your fear/thoughts about "missing the deadline" that are veiling your silence? I can't even imagine how ill you must feel, Carson....it is humbling......it must be so tough on your body and soul.......but I do know that you need your presence to face yourself.......so if this means staying on meth a little longer, then so be it. Nowhere is it written that if you are not clean on the 16th - that this will mean another 3 years on drugs. It is like giving birth to a child.......it comes when it comes...although the doctors set the time for birth......the mother can go days and weeks even over that limit. The Shine always knows what it is doing, and your inner strength and love will carry you through this difficult time.

Much love to you Carson
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Shanti

USA
4854 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  07:59:24 AM  Show Profile  Visit Shanti's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Carson,
I have included you in my samyama for a while now. My prayers are with you.

I agree with Andrew and Katrine, don't push yourself.. you really don't need to prove anything to anyone.. you just need to do what feels right from within. Take it easy with the deadlines.. so what if the deadlines get pushed off a bit.. like Katrine said.. self pacing is important with everything in life.

You know what's best for you.. and you are going through a lot of purification with your practice too.. with the heat after pranayama, cold energy after samyama, long rest periods after samyama etc. Yoga is not about all or nothing.. it is the middle way.. and yoga is not just about the 30 min twice a day either.. it is about how you live your every day life too. So if you think you are pushing yourself too far, too fast.. take a step back.. and ease off on the deadline.
We are all amazed at how well you are doing.. and none of us want to see you suffer through this.. esp. when you don't have to if you can go a bit slower.

You will know what to do. Like Katrine said.. the Shine (what I call silence) will know what to do.. so be in silence and go with what your inner guru guides you to do. Wish you all the best.

Edited by - Shanti on Oct 01 2008 08:04:47 AM
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Sparkle

Ireland
1457 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  09:17:38 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I'm with you Carson, we will do samyama for you and you can make your endevour a samyama also.
Best of luck
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  11:46:32 AM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Richard, Anthem, Albert, Katrine, Shanti, Louis, thank you all for being so supportive and willing to help. Thank you.

On the timeline thing....Yes I could take it slower, the medically accepted downdose time is set at 36 months per 60mgs. So I am doing it rather quickly. I realize this. I know that I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I DO have the option of extending my timeframe at any time I want. I had to literally FORCE the doctor to write my script as it is, because we both know how hard it should be and most likely will be. Even people who are forced off the program because of positive urine tests are only downdosed by 5mg's every two weeks. And I am fully aware of this. I almost feel as though this is my bed and I must lie in it. I am trying to use this experience as an austerity type thing to God/Self. I know it could be easier, (and I'm not about to push it so far that I am so sick that I can't work anymore) but I feel as though this is the right path, and I'm going to stick to it unless it becomes so difficult that it is unpractical. Despite what it may sound like, my condition could and should be much worse. At this point my dose is lasting me about 11 hours. And I am "suffering" through at least another 13-15 hours before taking my next dose. My "suffering" though is very minimal compared to what it should be. I have some bone and muscular pain, and it is very hard to sit still for long. Asanas and walking/running have been helping with this during the daylight non-working hours. The evenings and the nights have been difficult, but not so bad that I have taken my dose early. I am uncomfortable and squirmy throughout the night, and I am not sleeping much at all, and I have pretty regular diarhea. (sorry for the grossness) But within a couple of hours of waking up I take my dose, and by the time lunch rolls around I am usually feeling well enough. It will probably cycle like this for the rest of the downdose, and I really don't know what will happen in the month or so following the 15th, but I will take it as it comes. I REALLY want to be clean, and I am fully aware that come the 15th, I may not be. I know people who have been on a 1mg daily dose for over 3 years now. The last mg is going to be very hard. But it's going to be hard whether it's the 15th of October 2008 or the 25th of April 2050. I am going to try and continue to use this experience of "suffering" to continue my release of identification with my body to the extent that I can handle. This is why I ask for your prayers and samyama. I may sound like a strong person right now, but come the 15th I may not feel so strong. Hell, come tomorrow when I drop to 2.5mg's I may not feel so strong. So please keep me in your prayers if you feel inclined, and with your support, Yogani's lessons, and God's grace I will be clean in 2 weeks.

Albert,
Thank you for posting the video, I watched it a while ago when you posted it on another thread. I will watch the highlighted section again and when I have a second to respond in depth to the video, I will. But please keep in mind that everyone reacts differently to different stimulus. Marijuana and I have had an intimate relationship for most of my life, and I can't imagine how terrible I would feel if I didn't smoke any pot during this methadone ordeal. This may just be my ego/mind talking and maybe even a placebo effect, but smoking weed really helps the bone and muscular pain which is my most evident withdrawl symptom. I was even able to play 9 holes of golf yesterday after work and I KNOW that would not have been possible had I not been able to smoke joints throughout the day.
On the note about the Rehab Meditation group, I have tried to say all along that I would not start it officially until I was fully clean and had taken the process right to the finish, but perhaps I was not clear enough on this. I won't be starting the Rehab group until I am clean. I think what you may be referring to is a posting around the end of August I made that set my desired start time for this group at the middle of October, but that was when I had hoped I could be clean by today, October 1st. You see I HAVE already pushed off my methadone clean date by two weeks as the drop from 30mg to 10mgs was harder and took longer then I had hoped. But anyways, I won't be starting that group until I am clean. I DO have an official start date for my "personal" meditaiton group though, which will start Tuesday October 21st. So far I have 3 people plus myself willing to attend and I haven't even started putting up the posters. Good sign.

Anyways, I'm really sorry this post is so long, (Moderator's please feel free to move this posting for better placement should you see fit) I hope this explains why I have set the Oct 15th date and why I am choosing to "suffer" a little instead of making it easy as pie (up till the 1mg to 0mg drop) by extending the downdose time. If knowing that my "suffering" is by choice makes you want to not continue using my name in samyama and prayers I completely understand. No hard feelings I promise!!!

Love,
CarsonZi

Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 01 2008 11:55:36 AM
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Katrine

Norway
1813 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  12:00:23 PM  Show Profile  Visit Katrine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
If knowing that my "suffering" is by choice makes you want to not continue using my namein samyama and prayers I completely understand.


Of course not, Carson. I am sure all here honor your choice. I do understand why it is important for you to make it within the chosen date. It is good to hear that you won't go past your breaking point, though.

I wish you the best of all that life can offer.

See you in Samyama
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  12:11:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello CarsonZI,

I'm just thinking about something since you have some experiences with shamanism.

There are 8 major paths in shamanism as the 8 limbs of yoga, one of them being the path of the plants. One of these paths is called ordeal path which I occasionally practice, sometimes I mix it with other paths to get extra-healing power. It is based on generating pain to induce trances, healing,...

I just say this because you mention many times ordeal & I'm not an AYP practitioner so this is not the good place to post (I'm really sorry for this moderators) but you've been in my mind & prayers.

If this rings any bell in you, you might want to read one of the best ressouces on these subjects that Godess provided a few years ago:
http://www.cauldronfarm.com/writing/eightfold.html
http://www.cauldronfarm.com/writing...lpathNT.html
http://www.cauldronfarm.com/nts.html

In Shakti, Albert

Edited by - selfonlypath on Oct 01 2008 12:22:42 PM
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  3:45:30 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you for the links Albert. I am fairly well educated in the 8 paths of Shamanism (probably even more so then in the 8 paths of Yoga, at least book smarts-wise) and enjoyed reading through the entire cauldronfarm site. Great amounts of info there to be digested. Thank you. I did however fail to see the correlation between the video and marijuana that you are making. I watched the entire thing again, and even watched your highlighted section twice and still could not figure out what that section had to do with the negativity of weed. Please feel free to clarify for me.

Katrine,
I kinda forgot to mention that another reason why I am hoping to keep to the October 15th clean date is because there is a Siddha Yoga Intensive being held on October 18th with a location in my city, and I would really like to attend this event as a clean individual. I have an intuition that being clean for the first time in so long and especially since it's only 2 days after my final dose is scheduled and probably when my withdrawls will be the worst I will ever experience, I feel that I will be in a place where I can benefit the most from this type of experience. I have not signed up for the Intensive and I don't have the $500 it costs, and if it happens it happens, but I just have a feeling that it is meant to happen like this and I am on the verge of finally being unified with my "true" self through the "ordeal" of withdrawing, the act of cleansing my body, mind and soul of an addiction I never thought I would ever be rid of, and the process of (virtual) Shaktipat. I don't know if I will be able to attend the Intensive due to the cash thing, but because of the cash thing being an obstacle I am able to surrender the whole thing to God, and let His will be done. If it is His will, I will manage somehow to attend. And I hope that I can attend as a "free" man.
Thank you All for your support and prayers.

Love,
CarsonZi

Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 01 2008 5:03:49 PM
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Katrine

Norway
1813 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  4:26:40 PM  Show Profile  Visit Katrine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I see, Carson
Sometimes I am at a loss for words......I hope everything works out.
"Thy will be done" is not so easy is it.....

Some years after the cancer I wrote this (in Norwegian):

freedom

I cannot be owned
by anyone
or anything

Still, all I see is mine
And all of mine is also yours
Even the tin cans
on the fridge
are beautiful
in the shine
that streams through them

There is nothing
"out there"
that I need more than myself
Even so, I will eat
and sleep when night comes

I am not two
I have always been one
Everything I witness
grows out of,
and is,
this one

Everything lies ready,
but it is firstly when
I am
present,
that
the resources of the ocean
can feed more than myself

All moments
are newborn

I float with the wave
More difficult than this
it is not
Yet - there are often days
where I forget that I can drink

Those days
the cough returns
I am stuck in myself,
in the membrane that constitutes the form

It often happens
when day turns into night
When the darkness unveils
hard reefs in myself
Just like my words
touches tones
in you

So then I am in the hardness
until the information has
reached within
It is always about
letting go
of ideas I might have about things

When I let go of the grip
the harmony wells forth
The cough disappears

For verily - I know nothing

But this one message I will remember:

I can never be owned

Not even
by me



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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  4:34:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Absolutely beautiful Katrine.
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Oct 01 2008 :  10:47:45 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
I did however fail to see the correlation between the video and marijuana that you are making. I watched the entire thing again, and even watched your highlighted section twice and still could not figure out what that section had to do with the negativity of weed. Please feel free to clarify for me.

Hey CarsonZI,

The info I gave you about marijuana is based on return of experience I got from different friends of mine & was not meant to be found in the video neither in cauldronfarm website.

I suggested the video (korean shaman part) for a very specific reason .

Do you know how to trance through ordeal path ?

In Shakti, Albert


Edited by - selfonlypath on Oct 02 2008 01:06:08 AM
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 02 2008 :  11:37:03 AM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Albert,

I feel bad for posting this discussion here in this thread so I have sent you an email. Sorry everyone for hijacking this thread. My bad.

In Love,
CarsonZi
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ymladris

Czech Republic
20 Posts

Posted - Oct 02 2008 :  2:24:20 PM  Show Profile  Visit ymladris's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi CarsonZi,
could you please summarize once more your "AYP drugs withdrawal procedure"?

I have several net-friends on heroin. My goal is to repeat them
again and agaian that there is possibility to quit. There is chance.
I would like to support it by some arguments/logs from you.

Do you have any opinion on the ibogain treatment of addictions, BTW?

Thanks a lot for your explorative work, you are awesome. I wish you
as less suffering as possible, in next months.

-- Mirka
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 02 2008 :  3:11:19 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Mirka,
Thank you for your encouragement and your willingness to help your friends. I have sent you an email with the details of my procedure and look forward to hearing from you in response. Again sorry everyone for the poor placement of these postings.

In Love,
CarsonZi
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  12:52:32 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Hi Albert,
I feel bad for posting this discussion here in this thread so I have sent you an email.

Hey CarsonZI,

I've answered privately to your mail with specific & frank suggestions per shamanic point of view that might be way off topic on this forum.

quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Hi Mirka,
Thank you for your encouragement and your willingness to help your friends. I have sent you an email with the details of my procedure and look forward to hearing from you in response. Again sorry everyone for the poor placement of these postings.

As I suggested before, it might not be a good idea to send your procedure to anybody as long as you've not fully withdrawn from methadone, marijuana & al. Sending such info by mail privately is equivalent to starting a meditation group as discussed earlier while your recovery is not fully completed. It is just an escape of your ego fearing the process by doing vampire energy work.

More generally, I feel it would best for you continue public correspondance on AYP than privately because it seems AYP techniques works real good & frankly, you're not a shaman so you still playing dangerous games by mixing path of the plants with AYP creating a self-pacing issue.

Same thing with Siddha Maha Yoga worskhop you mentionned before where again, this will saturate dangerously your system & will mess up your self-pacing strategy. Go easy with yourself: just practice one method, detox, integrate then more later when firmly grounded & rooted.

Hope this makes sense to you, Albert

Edited by - selfonlypath on Oct 03 2008 01:31:40 AM
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  12:23:18 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Albert,

I replied to your email. And I agree that that particular discussion should stay off the forum. Not applicable. But there is no reason I shouldn't tell others how I got off of methadone faster then modern medicine can explain. I don't include anything about the use of marijuana in that because my use of marijuana has nothing to do (really) with my methadone detox. It's a completely seperate issue. And really has very little to do with the procedure OR the process of withdrawing from methadone. And I sent Mirka a very short description of what I did (just enough to potentially interest her friends in getting clean) and asked her to have her friends contact me personally so that there was no misexchange of information. Would you have suggested I told Mirka that I could not help her, WOULD NOT help her for at least two weeks until I fully completed my detox? Do you REALLY think I need to be detoxed from marijuana in order to help another get clean from methadone? You said "It is just an escape of your ego fearing the process by doing vampire energy work." What are you suggesting? I don't understand this sentence.

And if you go back and read my posting about the Siddha Yoga Intensive it says that this will be 3 days AFTER I am clean, and that I actually have NO plans to attend. I cannot afford it, I have not registered, and I have left it up to God should He want me to attend. I'm not going to the Intensive. I want to, and if it is the right thing for me it will happen. But I am not planning to go. It will be pretty much a miracle if I can attend. And if a miracle DOES happen and I am by some chance able to attend, do you REALLY think that I am not meant to attend?

In Love,
CarsonZi


Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 03 2008 12:39:28 PM
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  1:44:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
And I sent Mirka a very short description of what I did (just enough to potentially interest her friends in getting clean) and asked her to have her friends contact me personally so that there was no misexchange of information. Would you have suggested I told Mirka that I could not help her, WOULD NOT help her for at least two weeks until I fully completed my detox? Do you REALLY think I need to be detoxed from marijuana in order to help another get clean from methadone? You said "It is just an escape of your ego fearing the process by doing vampire energy work." What are you suggesting? I don't understand this sentence.

Hey CarsonZI,

The reason you don't fully understand what I say is because I' m also a tantrika !

In Shakti, Albert
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  3:05:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Albert,

So? Please explain why you being tantrika means I can't understand what you are saying.

In Love,
CarsonZi
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ymladris

Czech Republic
20 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  4:05:21 PM  Show Profile  Visit ymladris's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi boys,
concerning the "vampire energy work", "self-pacing issue" etc.:

The guru is in CarsonZi, The guru is in selfonlypath/Albert.

Maybe it is inapropriate to evangelize people while being still in trouble yourself, for you, Albert. So you're not doing this.

Maybe it is inapropriate to be silent when you "know something" and see people in need, for you, Carson. So you're not silent.

IMHO, you are both great, Perfectionist and Rebel.

(I started to spread gospel about DM after - i don't know - first week of sitting practices? ;-))

Everything is stream of bytes, repeat until enlightened ;)

-- Mirka
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  4:26:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yes Mirka,

There are many conflicting truths from many conflicting perspectives. (*Edit: There is no absolute right and wrong, there are only shades of light/goodness/value based on a perspective in silence. Everything works out for the ultimate good in the end when you come from a perspective of silence.*) This is precisely my point. Thank you for your posting. Look forward to hearing from your friends.

In Love,
CarsonZi

Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 03 2008 4:43:33 PM
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Oct 03 2008 :  9:21:01 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Everything works out for the ultimate good in the end when you come from a perspective of silence.*) This is precisely my point.

Hello Carson,

FYI, my triangle of practices are shaman (outer practice), tantric (inner practice) & non-duality awareness (secret practice). Indeed, under non-duality awareness or advaita or dzogchen there is no good or bad way to come closer to the Mystery

Here is wisdom sentence by yogani taken from http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....&whichpage=2

Regarding shamanism, I know it isn't primarily about etheogens, as so many believe. It is another approach to the everywhere present process of human spiritual transformation, with important contributions to share, and we are happy to see it explored here along with all other approaches.

The guru is in you.


I would add this
  • a real shaman is never addicted to the power plant he uses to heal others
  • a shaman goal is only healing others but not himself using different paths so s(h)e does not use entheogen to get high or gain something for himself
  • some think that ingesting entheogen will make them a shaman but that is not the way it works with this system because you are chosen as a shaman by the Mystery without the possibility to say yes or no
  • same with the plant spirit who chooses the shaman so it is not an entheogen supermaket & try as you want
  • the one who do not understand this process end up wounding themselves real bad, in particular making huge holes in their energy field
  • it looks like AYP provides an solution to fix the latter & this is good news because usually, one has to go through other more tricky roads to recover from that type of wounds
  • of course at the end all roads leads to clear light, the majority go through classical light of the upper world as in yoga and some have no choice than going through dark light of the lower world as in shamanism

In Shakti, Albert

Edited by - selfonlypath on Oct 04 2008 07:25:08 AM
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Oct 04 2008 :  2:17:07 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
As I have said in my emails Albert, I have never claimed to be a shaman nor have I claimed to ever have tried to heal someone of anything. I have not used marijuana or methadone (the only drugs I am still addicted to) to heal someone. I am not claiming to be a shaman, I am not claiming to be a healer, these are things you have read into posts I have made. I have experience with meeting shamans and partaking of ceremonies with them and learning from them, but that is it. That doesn't make me a shaman, and I never thought that. Yes shamanism has many aspects that I personally feel a yogi can benefit from, but these are my personal beliefs and I recommend them to no one else. I hope you can fully understand what I am trying to say here. We are on the same page.

In Love,
CarsonZi
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selfonlypath

France
297 Posts

Posted - Oct 05 2008 :  12:27:17 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
[As I have said in my emails Albert, I have never claimed to be a shaman nor have I claimed to ever have tried to heal someone of anything. I have not used marijuana or methadone (the only drugs I am still addicted to) to heal someone. I am not claiming to be a shaman, I am not claiming to be a healer, these are things you have read into posts I have made. I have experience with meeting shamans and partaking of ceremonies with them and learning from them, but that is it. That doesn't make me a shaman, and I never thought that.

Hi Carson,

Maybe I concluded to fast along with english not being my native langage this sentence you wrote in this thread http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....&whichpage=3

quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
[And I (hope) I am one of those people you are talking about being a "guardian angel" in disguise. I have sold all types of drugs for well over 15 years (only to friends I should add) and many of my friends consider me their "local shaman/drug store".

I'm also finally realizing now that you're working to 2 addictions removal whereas i initially thought it was only methadone. Can you tell us if AYP helps you remove methadone only or both methadone & marijuana at the same time ?

On a side note, i've received last night an unusual yahoo group invitation which shows how resistent can be the spirit helper or destroyer behind marijuana portal:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/grou...mokersLounge

quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Yes shamanism has many aspects that I personally feel a yogi can benefit from, but these are my personal beliefs and I recommend them to no one else. I hope you can fully understand what I am trying to say here. We are on the same page.

Yes, we're on the same page but with a little difference: my experience gained from knowing a few advanced yogis, yoginis & shamans throughout the world is that only once reaching an advanced yogic level, one can make a positive use of entheogen like ayahuasca to purify deeper our vessel. The common mistake unfortunately is using power plant too soon plus the fact mondialization makes these plants available real easy.

Again, please know that I always admire your courage right from the start & suggest you create a specific thread here synthetizing all the discussions related to your journey. I personaly find difficult folowing different threads of yours under different categories where in fact there are about the same subject which is AYP can help remove drug addiction. Once you'll succeed in totally removing your addiction to methadone & marijuana, this will provide a stable booklet to support other fellows & promote another aspect of AYP potential.

In Shakti, Albert
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