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Prem
Canada
90 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 25 2016 : 4:55:12 PM
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hi Ialow 
The fact that you can see and say that your feeling and acting this way is the first step to making it better. Everyone has their ups and downs - right now is your down... and that is ok, you dont always have to be on an up in your life. Sometimes our lifestyle choices can make us grouchy, our food sensitivities can show in emotions or even lack of sleep or other environmental triggers like EMF's - and some people really have a way of pushing our buttons. Perhaps they are there to teach us lessons about ourself. Emotional mastery - do any of us really ever get it? Things that annoyed me in others were often things in myself that I did not like.
Sometimes keeping a diary (like a food diary) helps. I have a friend who gets black moods when she consumes anything with red food dye. I wonder how many people are in jail (seriously) because they are eating or drinking things that their system can't handle?
And as far as how you respond to the people in your life, what has helped me is to ask myself before responding "in light of eternity, does this really matter?" Most often, it really doesn't. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 7:14:56 PM
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Hi other gals,
I'm back to close female cycles. One stopped last week, I woke up grouchy the last 2 days. I got a new cycle today. I'm very energy sensitive at this time, and with them so close now, it's extremely hard to have clarity. |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 8:42:17 PM
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| I hear you, girl. Hang in there. |
Edited by - sunyata on Jul 29 2016 9:11:08 PM |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 8:50:39 PM
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How on earth am I suppose to self- pace this? I'm grouchy people.
I use natural birth control. I no longer understand my body. |
Edited by - lalow33 on Jul 29 2016 8:55:24 PM |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 8:59:34 PM
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That I don't know. I have young kids. I don't have much time to think. It's go go pretty much all the time. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 9:03:22 PM
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| I'm older than you, for sure. Periods every 1 and a 1/2 wk suck. |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 9:08:38 PM
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| They are not fun. I listen to music when all else fails. |
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Prem
Canada
90 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2016 : 08:58:38 AM
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I hear you, friend! Not sure if I would trade those days for my present hot flushes and insomnia
This too shall pass |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2016 : 10:19:55 AM
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Maybe look at your self-pacing Lalow? The body is dumping excess energy into the menstrual cycle.
In my experience, if you are revving your k, one result could be more frequent or heavier periods. It could also mean blockages are being cleared from the second chakra. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2016 : 4:59:03 PM
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| I don't know. I've been walking in this humidity 'til my eyes swell, then I stop and go eat part of a melon or cucumber. I haven't practiced in a while. Maybe a week or two? Yet, I get the frequent periods. I wake up grouchy just about 100% the last week. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2016 : 7:17:04 PM
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Here's a story that got me into yoga. It's not pleasant, but when I read about yoga, less thinking, giving emotions to Ishtas, etc. It made sense after what happened.
So I gave birth to my youngest son in the car. HMO(USA) stuff- it means you can only go to certain hospitals, ours was far away. I was overdue, had seen the doc that day, went back and into the hospital, not much going on, so I was sent home. Never made it back.
I delivered my son in the front seat of the car myself, while my sleepy husband drove. He was limp, not moving, not breathing, but had a heartbeat. My husband freaked out. I told him to pull over and call 911. We were in BFE so he was told to drive to a place to meet the ambulance. The 911 operator told my hubby to start rescue breathing, he didn't know how, so I tried to suction out the meconium, then I started. He started breathing.
He was taken in one ambulance as quickly as possible. I waited on a second one. The whole time, I was in no thought, certainly not blissed out, but I never freaked out just primordial focus.
He was transferred to a hospital; I had to go to another( gotta love HMOs! Not). I was discharged after 8 hrs. Went to see him, after that I had a Bhakti meltdown. It wasn't a nice prayer. It was full of expletives that I'm not allowed to say on here. I cussed God out for about an hour, then the peace, ohhh that peace.
My son had to go on heavy life support; it's called ECMO. I cried, yet I was at peace. The nurses aren't allowed to leave an ECMO room, so they were arguing about scheduling in front of us. This upset me, yet I was still at my core peaceful. I told my hubby I was upset. He told the nurses not to upset me.
When my son was finally off life support and ready to eat, I was gonna breastfeed. No the nurses said, and the line doctor said, bottlefeed the pumped breastmilk. Still at peace, I demanded the department head, who agreeded to let me breastfeed.
He's fine now.
I didn't maintain that peace, but that's sorta my opening to being interested in yoga or spirituality.
P.S. My youngest son is way beyond me. I don't want the world to beat him down! |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2016 : 8:12:34 PM
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So my youngest is already having a problem with a teacher and the class she teaches. He's in 7th grade. He's an honor roll student. He now thinks he is stupid.
I talked to my mom. She's all hyped up because my nephew committed suicide around the same age. She says I have to do something.
So, I'm going to call the principal and asking to him sit in on some of this teacher's classes. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2016 : 9:48:37 PM
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I told about my son's birth and how there was peace.
My nephew's death a month or so after kundalini awakening was much different. I heard the news about 11pm. He was on life support and would not make it. There was no stillness. I actually had convulsions for about 8 hrs. I had several phone calls , but I could not speak. I prayed the whole time. They actually kept him on life support longer for me ' cause I could not make the 2 hr drive sooner.
I was no help to anyone when I got there. I just fell on the floor. I really wanted to help my sister, but I was crazy distraught.
So I've been at core peace, and I've been beyond upset. |
Edited by - lalow33 on Aug 03 2016 9:49:46 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2016 : 11:08:06 PM
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Lalow!
What an amazing birth and rescue you had with your son. That is the epitome of stillness in action, and an outpouring of divine love. It reveals your strength and fortitude.
Re: the other end of the spectrum, i.e. when stillness is not so present, I've had some experiences like that too. And, to summarize things in a clichéd kind of way, I would say that it's those heavy doses of friction that make me appreciate the place of inner frictionlessness all the more.
Much love.  |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 09:09:08 AM
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Dear Lalow
I guess there are not many of us (women) if any, who do not carry some burden related to our sexuality. Dissolving those blockages on the second chackra can appear to be the most challenging part of the yoga journey.
You are doing the right thing letting the grouchiness, the anger and whatever feelings you might have stored, come out into the open. I have learnt this the hard way myself, after years of ignoring my anger (there was no one to be angry with, I thought it would go, but I just repressed it). But you have the silence, and that makes all the difference. Be kind to yourself and take your time. These things take as long as they take.
It seems right you have paused your sitting practices. Holding unpleasant feelings and sensations in awareness is helpful in my experience - otherwise I personally risk bottling them up (that might just be me, I don't know if it works the same for everyone).
I wish you patience. This too shall pass.
May the silence be with you. |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Aug 04 2016 09:11:37 AM |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 3:25:35 PM
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Lalow,
You are so strong. Pregnancy and child birth are beautiful and life changing. Of all the hats I wear, being a mother is most fulfilling. My older son is starting kindergarten next week. I'm a little nervous.
I don't want my boys to grow up so fast. But that Life. All I can do is nurture and love them.
quote:
P.S. My youngest son is way beyond me. I don't want the world to beat him down!
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Edited by - sunyata on Aug 04 2016 3:26:56 PM |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 6:56:01 PM
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Dear Lalow,
I have not been on this forum for quite some time, got here tonight trying to catch up and so far found you and at least one other person in crisis. Sending you Love. Anyway -
What you described about your birth experience totally reflects what I've heard from my friend Crescence Krueger, a midwife and HOY teacher. She is always saying that the birth experience is Real Yoga and it can empower and awaken you to your Natural State. It sounds like that is what you experienced in that time of core peacefulness. Of course, it doesn't last. If it did, all moms would be instant Buddhas and would not need spiritual practices.
As far as "grouchiness," I don't want to come across here as negative and I'm sure some folks will disagree with me, and you did not ask for my advice, but FWIW: It is ok to feel whatever you feel. That may seem obvious, but for some reason it isn't, especially in "spiritual" circles where peer pressure encourages us to be, or at least appear to be, super-nicey-nice and constantly blissed out. "Negative" emotions are seen as bad or un-spiritual.
Yes, as practicing yogis we have that deep inner peace in the center of our being. It is always there, in the silent depths. But because we live in the world, there are still storms on the surface. Yoga gives us the grace and courage to ride the waves more skillfully, but it doesn't make the storms of life go away. We are still human and sh*t still happens. Loved ones die, the IRS takes our home, etc. Now, we can retreat from the world and ignore whatever is happening on the surface, staying in our own little blissful cave if we so choose. But, being actively involved, empathizing with others and allowing ourselves to feel natural human emotions is NOT "less spiritual."
Yoga does not turn us into Mr. Data on Star Trek. Yoga allows us to become utterly comfortable in our own skin. Feelings come and go, changing like the weather, flowing past effortlessly if we don't try to cling to them or push them away. Beating ourselves up for failing to remain blissed out or not living up to other peoples' expectations and projections of how we are "supposed to be" is counterproductive. I hope that is helpful. Much Love to you! |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 12:42:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
Dear Lalow
I guess there are not many of us (women) if any, who do not carry some burden related to our sexuality. Dissolving those blockages on the second chackra can appear to be the most challenging part of the yoga journey.
You are doing the right thing letting the grouchiness, the anger and whatever feelings you might have stored, come out into the open. I have learnt this the hard way myself, after years of ignoring my anger (there was no one to be angry with, I thought it would go, but I just repressed it). But you have the silence, and that makes all the difference. Be kind to yourself and take your time. These things take as long as they take.
It seems right you have paused your sitting practices. Holding unpleasant feelings and sensations in awareness is helpful in my experience - otherwise I personally risk bottling them up (that might just be me, I don't know if it works the same for everyone).
I wish you patience. This too shall pass.
May the silence be with you.
Hi Blue,
You could be right. I just have never equated this block in this or that region with this or that aspect. Well, maybe the heart region, but that's about it.
You aren't the first to suggest some kind of sexual issue. I used to have orgasms in asana class during inversions. I told my teacher, and she said I had sexual something; I'm not sure she said blockages. That was years ago. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 3:04:04 PM
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My conditioning- I can't stay mad or not talk to my family. Well, my youngest sister did somethings ( very not nice things). At the time, I was certain I'd just not talk to her again. 3 weeks later, we are talking again. Sometimes, I hear people say they just drop negative people from there life even if they are family.
My mom never allowed us to stay mad at each other. That's my conditioning. I don't think it's the worst conditioning. I'm in my 40's and still operate from it. |
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JR8036
USA
281 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 4:15:29 PM
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| I would say that is good conditioning. I was raised the same way. I can't stay mad at somebody for long either. Especially if it is family. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 4:20:13 PM
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Hi Lalow
I might need to clarify something - when I referred to issues on the second chakra, I was also including pregnancy and birth issues. Years ago I had a trauma related to a pregnancy/miscarriage. That later manifested into a very stubborn, major blockage, which I felt mainly on the second chakra. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 5:25:39 PM
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| I'm sorry for that, blue. I get confused about blocks, how they relate. I gots lots. I don't know if they are " mine". I don't even know what mine means. |
Edited by - lalow33 on Aug 09 2016 5:26:11 PM |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2016 : 1:23:10 PM
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Today is my parent's 44th anniversary. Both my parents and my hubby's parents are still married.
When we (hubby and I)were younger and would fight, thoughts about finding someone better would come up. At this age, those thoughts are seen as ridiculous. No, he's not into yoga. He's very crappy when his college football team isn't winning.
I like and love my husband. He's so kind that he let's me walk through all the spiderwebs on the trail. Haha! He is kind, but I sometimes miss him trying to impress me. |
Edited by - lalow33 on Aug 10 2016 1:26:59 PM |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2016 : 1:49:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by JR8036
I would say that is good conditioning. I was raised the same way. I can't stay mad at somebody for long either. Especially if it is family.
Yes, there are other conditionings. I was not allowed to be racist or to view this person as different. It's weird because my dad was that way, but my mom wouldn't put up with it. My dad has actually changed.
I'm married to a man with a Japanese mother. My dad figured out a way to deal with this. They are pretty close. It's very nice.
My dad has evolved more than most in his lifetime from where he started from. I'm proud of him. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2016 : 4:58:50 PM
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| I did call my youngest son's principal today. He told me I was the first parent to complain about the class; It did not make me feel wrong or make me change my complaint. I just told him what I thought. I ask him to sit in on the class. That's what I can do for now. |
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The grouchy yogini
