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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 26 2015 : 11:44:58 PM
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[I will probably publish this little piece in my forthcoming AYP for Recovery website, under the sub-page Insight Blogs...which will include writing from other practitioners who have benefited from AYP in recovery.]
Suddenly, I found myself speaking to someone about their choice to smoke marijuana. Who was this person I was speaking to? Well, it was a fictional character I made up in my mind. We were engaged in a lively discussion about the hot topic. In my mind, I heard my imaginary voice say to the imaginary companion: "You're fooling yourself."
Why would I say that? Because, when I review my usage of marijuana from the past, my conclusion is the same: I was fooling myself. What does it mean to fool oneself? It means to contrive a reason, an explanation, or a story that strays away from a deeper reality of truth. It means to believe in something absurd, unworthy, or contrary to the natural flow of evolution. Of course, a lot of this criteria is subjective and not easily established as absolute or objectively certain. Nevertheless, if we observe, and agree, that evolution is moving towards a collective condition of unity, harmony, vitality, and prosperity, then this observed agreement holds a kind of objective benchmark upon which we can reference and navigate truth and reality.
The flow of evolution is not static; it is dynamic. And since the flow is part of "What Is", we can also conclude that "What Is" is constantly changing. But is there a part of reality that is static, and therefore not in constant change? Well, if we look at a rock, it might appear to be unchanging. Yet, we know the rock is in the process of either accumulating more mass or being weathered away by external forces--or maybe both. If we look at the empty air, it also appears unchanging, but once again, we know that molecules of oxygen are invisibly circulating through the atmosphere. So, these phenomena only appear to be unchanging, when in fact, they are changing very slowly, very quickly, or beyond our normal range of perception.
Still, the human mind begs to know and experience that which is not changing. If all that can be perceived externally is changing, what is left? It must be inside, within, beyond even memory or imagination. What is it? Where is it? Who is it?
It is the source. It is the medium upon which all perceptible things manifest. It cannot be perceived, even though it perceives all things. Like a mirror looking upon itself, the gaze can only gaze upon more reflections. We cannot perceive it as an object, because we are the object itself.
What in the world does this reductive line of inquiry--this incremental withdrawal into nothingness and everythingness--have to do with the merits, or lack thereof, of smoking marijuana?
If you have been stoned on pot, you know that ingestion of the flower induces a temporary state of being in touch with that mysterious, boundless field of reality. But you can't just eat the flower "raw" to get stoned; you have to put it through a state of decay and destruction in order to unlock its potency. Hence, the buds are cured through an aging process, then smoked, baked, vaporized, or whatever other method might be chosen. It's not like a strawberry that can be plucked off the vine and delectably swallowed. With marijuana, there's more processing involved to enjoy the fruit of consciousness alteration.
There is another method of consciousness alteration that puts a person in touch with the timeless reality we inherently seek, and that is Deep Meditation. Deep Meditation starts from the inside, without the need to ingest anything from the outside. Even so, when we start from the inside, we still encounter objects of perception: thoughts, feelings, and other scenery. The technique of easily favoring the mantra does not destroy these phenomena in the same way heat destroys the cannabis flower. No combustion is necessary. Rather, the interior objects are drifted through, much like water would drift through porous rock. Maybe thoughts and feelings get rubbed a little, but the dynamic is non-violent and non-abrasive. The more drifting that occurs from easily favoring the mantra, the more we get to the bottom, which is pure, unbounded awareness--beyond all friction.
Since Deep Meditation touches upon bliss in a particularly gentle way, the result is that we get to retain and absorb serenity (the chilled-out vibe) for a much longer period. We are letting the tranquility take root in our purified nervous system. This cultivation has profound, long-term implications.
In short, smoking marijuana is temporary with setbacks. Deep Meditation is permanent with no setbacks (self-pacing applied).
So, bringing this inquiry full circle, what else do I say to my imaginary comrade? I say, if you really want to keep smoking marijuana, do it. I won't try too hard to persuade you. However, if you want an alternative, there is Deep Meditation, and much more. You don't need to quit smoking marijuana because it's wrong, or immoral, or illegal. Those labels mean very little. What smoking marijuana really is...is inefficient. It's not a method that works over the long haul. Deep Meditation and other yoga practices do, when combined in a full-spectrum practice routine and way of living.
Since physical reality is changing constantly, are we fooling ourselves to seek That Which Is Not Changing? Are we kidding ourselves by trying to bring That Essence into our everyday life?
No, we are not. We are surrendering to the spiral of ecstatic bliss which is our true nature, and we are using discernment along the way. We are becoming who we are destined to be. We are transforming addiction and transcending suffering.
We are fueled by inner silence, amplified by subtle thought, and regulated by rhythm and harmony.  |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2015 : 04:40:21 AM
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Thank you for sharing Bodhi,
I hear you, and can resonate with what you are saying, but we are all alone, spiraling in our own spiral and at the same time everything is in Timeless time. Hard to describe in words and that is what we are doing here, we can write and talk. The understanding and hearing is sometimes at another level. What I will say is every person finds at his or her time whatever he needs to progress.
I notice lately that I use to many words, still trying in my meditation classes to convince people of the value of meditation, at the same time notice that not everyone has the ability will or need to go for it.....
So that is also part of the spiral, progres, write, teach, and know it is not us who is doing, it is happening. And still we inspire each other with words, talks.
All that is has his value....and it is all impersonal.
Keep up the paradoxal progress and hopefully you understand what I am saying. My or the writing gives me more and more understanding in how it all works, and being inspired by your words, inspires me to write again and understand more and at the same time my English progresses and so we spiraling around and around.
 
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2015 : 10:06:21 AM
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I understand what you are saying, Charliedog. Loud and clear. Thank you for chiming in.
It is comforting to know we are in the Big Spiral together, and that there are universal principles at play here, expecially when it comes to the purification and opening of our nervous system. Upon those principles, we can rely.
Unity. Strength. Inner Sensuality.  |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2015 : 10:34:45 AM
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Just this past Wednesday morning, at approximately 10am, I myself said, "He's fooling himself." The thought kind of popped out of my mouth from an intuitive place, a place that is not habitual. I was feeling annoyed when I said it. My wife and I had been talking to a man who was smoking tobacco and saying "I'll quit when I'm 60. I know I can do it. I've done it before." My wife said I seemed eager to get away from him. She was right.
Just thought I'd share that. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2015 : 11:44:25 AM
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| In the abundance of water the fool is thirsty .......proverbs |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2015 : 1:36:31 PM
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Drawing absolute lines always gives one a nice feeling of security, but I would suggest that "you are fooling yourself" when you do.
There are no absolutes and marijuana and it's usefulness is no exception: http://www.trueactivist.com/this-da...ind-blowing/
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Mar 27 2015 1:47:46 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2015 : 6:12:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by bewell
Just this past Wednesday morning, at approximately 10am, I myself said, "He's fooling himself." The thought kind of popped out of my mouth from an intuitive place, a place that is not habitual.
Wow. Spot on. Thank you, bewell. Your similar experience is much appreciated.
quote:
Originally posted by Carson Zi
Drawing absolute lines always gives one a nice feeling of security, but I would suggest that "you are fooling yourself" when you do.
There are no absolutes and marijuana and it's usefulness is no exception: http://www.trueactivist.com/this-da...ind-blowing/
Great point, Carson. Believe it or not, when I lived in San Francisco, I worked for my cousin, who is a medical marijuana doctor that has been practicing since 2000. I've seen thousands of patients come through his practice and benefit from medical marijuana for a variety of ailments. I also used to hang out with with Dennis Peron, who wrote wrote Proposition 215, which legalized medical marijuana in California. And, just to put a little icing on the cake, I walked at the front of a huge marijuana march called "May Day" in New York City (you can see me in a little frame in the documentary Grass, narrated by Woody Harrelson).
Now that I'm sober and kicked the habit, I'm not a prohibitionist, teetotaler, or anti-marijuana advocate. If anything, I'm a realist. I still hang out with friends that smoke pot around me, and I actually enjoy the scent (kind of like incense), though the desire to smoke it is gone. The desire has been replaced with a devotion to daily practices and transcendence through other means. Why? Because they work better for me.
Now, I'm not trying to "project" what has worked better for me onto others, but there is nevertheless a more universal theme at play here, and it revolves around the nervous system. Any way you slice it, ingesting pot is stressful and abrasive to anyone's nervous system, much more so than Deep Meditation, Samyama or other AYP techniques. Can the AYP techniques be over-indulged in and have abrasive results? Sure, but nowhere near the degree to which drugs/alcohol can wreck the system and our livelihood. That's what self-pacing is for.
I've seen my dad serve three prison terms for crimes related to his addiction to marijuana and other substances. Now he has hepatitis C as a result of IV drug use (I believe you're familiar with the modality?). My twin brother is still trapped in addiction and teetering on the edge of a breakdown. The list goes on and on. Based on the carnage and horror I've witnessed around me and within my own body, I'm not going to be shy or humble about championing a solution for recovery. Nor I am going to seek vengeance against an enemy that doesn't exist. Even hardcore drugs are synthetic derivatives of Mother Nature, and Mother Nature is a miracle. Therefore, there is no enemy; there is only a better way.
Part of the reason I'm moving away from AA is the hush-hush mentality that stifles audibility and visibility in the recovery community. If you want to be anonymous, good for you. I respect that. But there needs to be a paradigm that is much more transparent and reflective of the divine love that is begging to stream through us.
Yes, I know that everyone chooses their own path, and blah blah blah. I've been reminded of that ad nauseum. I'm not trying to forcefully persuade anyone or go on the war path. I'm just pointing to a brighter horizon.
The days of hiding in the closet from shame or shyness are rapidly coming to an end. There is no need to hold onto shame or guilt. We just need to shake it off and move forward. It's the simplest thing.
Thank you for commenting!
P.S. There's a significant difference between using marijuana for medicinal purposes vs. using it recreationally, or for pseudo-transcendence. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2015 : 03:24:08 AM
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| Love Strength Unity |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2015 : 10:17:31 AM
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Hi Bodhi
Sorry to hear your brother is still having problems.
I'd be curious to know whether he has been tempted to try meditations and yoga. With you showing him such a good example, I guess he must have at least considered that avenue?
Sorry if I'm being too nosy. You don't have to reply of course if the question is inappropriate. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2015 : 7:08:48 PM
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Thank you for asking, BlueRC. We are very, very close, and he just needs space to find it on his own. Admittedly, I was a little too zealous in the beginning about trying to get him on board, but I have backed off substantially, if not completely.
Now I'm just blazing ahead without looking back. If what I'm doing is genuine and authentic, the rest will take care of itself without me having to worry or fret about anyone's salvation, including my own.
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 06:47:03 AM
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I know what you mean. I too came to the conclusion there is no point trying to talk others into yoga.
Your brother knows you practice it and he can see the results. What more can words do?
All the best to both of you. |
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Are We Fooling Ourselves?
