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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 08 2015 : 11:11:57 AM
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A decent week of sits if not all that distinctive. I do recall a few sits with some exceptional inner energy experiences, and strong, focused sensations at the sambhavi mudra location of the brow. Also some solar plexus sensations as well on occasion. I've been using the solar centering method when meditating for the past few months. It's tricky, the mind wants to center everything behind the eyeballs. In that mysterious void that we all call "me".
Mindfulness
I've also been actively working on my mindfulness practice in between sits. I'm enjoying the practice quite a bit, even if it seems to be more of a "realize your not being mindful" practice right now. However, as I believe I have mentioned in the previous entry, I'm starting to see mindfulness not as an experience to be gained, but rather a technique for providing contrast for these accumulated mental thought habits we've burdened ourselves with over the decades. And also a way to know what is is you are aiming for,and what you are trying to minimize.
In other words, the mindful experience (at least to start) is more about being able to step back from the chatter of the mind so you can perceive it from the "outside", so you have a way to contrast and compare. Additionally, the more you practice mindfulness, the more familiar you become with the experience and its subtle character. Like meditation, we gradually learn to recognize these states and this makes it easier to sink into them more readily. We know what we are aiming for because we have felt it directly.
And of course, over time we find the body eager to go into these states, so we are cultivating a default response in opposition to the chaotic one we've unconsciously assimilated throughout our lives.
Gary Weber and the Default Mode Network
No doubt my thinking here has been influenced by some recent posts on Gary Weber's blog, Happiness Beyond Thought. Weber is a fellow "Left-Brain Buddha", seeking to understand the meditation experience from a perspective of Western science. His insights into the Default Mode Network in the brain, and how that differs between meditators and non-meditators is quite interesting. The "self-ing" areas of the brain (the structures of the brain that handle thoughts that create the sense of identity or ego) seem to be downplayed or even turned off from the repetitive practice of meditation.
If Weber addresses the actual "how" of this process, I've not yet come across that post. And even more puzzling to my analytical mind is how these yogis of the distant past ever figured any of this out! Even with specific instructions and techniques, I find the process slow-going and to be honest, the effects are not distinct enough for me to persist without the reports from earlier psychonauts on this path.
Spinal Breathing and Kundalini: What Are They For?
That said, my direct experiences with spinal breathing pranayama have had very obvious results. I've overlooked that aspect often in my weekly journal entries. And it brings me to a question I often have when it comes to spinal breathing, pranayama and kundalini: what is the goal with these practices? The AYP literature from my recall doesn't specifically say what the intended outcome is. That said, I'm not sure the intended results of meditation are ever discussed outside the vague "unending divine bliss".
How is awakening kundalini related to "enlightenment"? Can you have one without the other? Are spinal breathing and other pranayama techniques just accelerators for a process that meditation will eventually bring about?
What I can say about my experience with pranayama is that something unmistakable is going on. I refuse to call it anything other than "inner energy" and even the word "energy" is a bit presumptuous. It's more like an inner sensation. For all I know, it could be an orchestrated muscular contraction on a grand scale. But something is indeed going on. It's controllable, distinct, and as I've touched upon before, also idiosyncratic (it does unexpected things, seemingly having its own "rules").
Lately these inner sensations have had moments of extreme intensity. The sensations at the brow or "third eye" can even get to be quite strong. The body also seems eager to experience these sensations. Like a dog who knows when it's time to go for a walk, my body picks up on cues about when it's time to start the sit and the sensations begin.
They also tend to kick in when I am driving, which I do not do regularly these days, working from home.
But none of these experiences, as strong as the physical components are, have any distinguishable or immediate results of a "spiritual" (whatever that means) or "mystical" nature. As I've mentioned before, they are mostly curiosities. Although mildly pleasurable and relaxing, other than that there isn't much to them.
That said, for the scientist in me they are at least some sort of empirical results that "something" is happening. They conform the "do this, experience that" promise of yogic practices. But the "that" which I've experienced to date is far from anything I'd go around trying to convince anyone else to do. Of course, I realize there may be more to this and I am in for the long haul. I'm just reporting the state of my experience at this point along the journey.
"Not Much Happening"
My hope in the long term for this journaling is that I do experience the more wondrous claims of yogic techniques, and this honest appraisal of my experience can serve as a way for others like me to maintain enthusiasm during those "not much happening" stages. I seem to meet far more people like that in person. Only online have I encountered those who can claim these wondrous experiences. In fact, most of my like-minded friends who've been interested in and tried meditation have all given up after a few months. The direct experience being far from enough to fuel any continued enthusiasm for the practice.
I myself have recently passed the 2-year mark with AYP, and I was doing some intermittent meditation for about 6 months prior. While I definitely see improvements in my daily life, many of which I've no doubt are the result of meditation, there are some big claims put forth that nobody I know seems to be able to reach with ease. To be honest, it leaves most of them uninterested. Even my one deeply like-minded friend also on a path of self-development and self-inquiry has forgone his sits within a busy schedule, no longer making it a priority.
Me, I know from experience and have learned from a ton of reading on the topic that the way to mastery is persistence. I'm determined to maintain my practice. I do see benefits, even if hard-won, subtle and often tough to discern due to the gradual nature of them coupled with the gradual assimilation of them into my experience (that idea of the eyes adjusting to the ambient light as the sun sets, so your experience of the dark is different than that of someone who walks into the dark as opposed to someone there as the light faded).
The Master of the Temple
I was recounting to my self-development friend this week an idea that sprung to mind early on in my regular meditation sits. I had the thought that the stories of the Zen master who refuses admittance to the aspirant monks, forcing them to sleep and wait in the doorway to the temple were analogies, that perhaps the Zen master himself was consciously embodying an analogy himself.
The "Zen temple" is the mind. The "Zen master" is the ego/self who "refuses admission" to the true self. The Master, like the Ego, forces one to sit on the steps of the temple until one's perseverance is established. Once admitted, they are warned that "nothing much is going on here", just chopping the wood, carrying the water.
The Zen master is playing the externalized role of the ego, to train you to withstand the barrage of the thought stream which also "blocks your entrance" to the temple.
I like to imagine that there is an ethereal, ghostly "temple" that I am sitting on the steps of when I sit for meditation. I await the emergence of "The Master" who plays his role and tries his best to dissuade me from sitting on the steps, let alone entering the temple.
At this point his antics are quite transparent and have become even amusing to some degree. He can be quite mean at times though. He will often bring up disturbing ideas and tries to convince me that they are mine. He uses lots of other tricks, like mundane tasks needing completion, reminders of past failures, worry over future insecurities. At least at the temple at which I sit, the Master is not usually a nice guy. He's often critical and negative. He seems to know exactly what to say to throw me off-guard. But I'm no longer fooled as I once was by these ruses.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the entrance to the temple isn't where one would assume it is. I may have already "entered the temple" long before I sat on those steps. I have a feeling the interior of the temple too is deceptively larger than it humbly appears on the outside. This Temple itself may be just another elaborate form of deception by the Master. |
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Dogboy
USA
2198 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2015 : 1:22:50 PM
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| Wow, Yogaman, you hit a grand slam with this week's column, especially the snippet regarding camping out on the steps of the Master's temple. So much, or so little, is going on inside and I have no way of knowing for sure, yet here I am, prostrate and eager. There is no where else I would rather be. If I've been fooled then I'm a fool for love! |
Edited by - Dogboy on Feb 08 2015 1:23:51 PM |
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2015 : 3:37:06 PM
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Hi Yogaman I got to agree with Dogboy about how cool this entry is. Its inspiring to follow your journal cuz I'm stuck in so many ways but your efforts keep showing how its worth not quiting as you just keep kicking butt!
Your musings about pranayama and enlightenment got me thinking about how Yoga answers your questions.
So Paramahansa Yogananda and his organization Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) has a pretty special approach to Yoga. If a person accepts that Yogananda is an Avatar, a Savior, whatever those are it follows that he's got aspects to his teachings that are kind of the ultimate. Among a lot of things he could be thought of as the ultimate salesman in presenting Yoga to the world the way he had (he left his body in 1954) and the way his organization continues to. I say ultimate because I can so easily get caught up in what Yogani calls "building mental castles in the air" when studing SRF Yoga and not digest it like AYP properly emphasizes.
Yoganada puts to shame the info commercial salesman we see on TV the way he makes Yoga and God/Enlightenment seem so down-to-earth doable. In my mind its part of the Divine paradox of a personality expressing the Divine in word and deed and making some feel (me) like they know way more than they do.
Long story short here's how Yogananda talks about AYP spinal breathing pranayama (SRF calls it Kriya Yoga but they're identical). I really love the guy but I mostly avoid SFR stuff in favor of AYP and the forum stuff the last couple years cuz AYP has brought me face to face with where I need to go Yoga wise.
So the preceding has been a warning not to get side tracked mentally like me in Yogananda's answer to your questions:
http://www.yogananda.com.au/kriya.html |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2015 : 11:21:16 AM
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Dogboy & Bill: thanks for the kind words and feedback. Much appreciated.
As far as quitting, I've done enough of the dabbling in my past to know that it will not pay off. Now, I do not know if yoga will lay off but I know it has helped lead my life to a much improved direction than before I was practicing it.
I read some Yagananda years ago — of course "Autobiography", also some SRF stuff. Even attended an advanced retreat by accident with a friend. We didn't know it was for advanced practitioners and had zero experience with any of this yoga or meditation stuff. That said, it was a good experience as most of the people there were "regular people" which helped to dismantle some prejudices and hesitations I had about this "scene".
The page you linked to on SRF looks interesting and I will read in depth later tonight, thanks. Some quite particular claims, which I like. But I immediately wonder what validity any of them have.
Yogani speaks of "purification of the nervous system" (which I forgot). But that too always bothered me for being a bit vague — what gets purified? Purified of what? How did it get to need purification? How in the world does thinking a non-word accomplish this?
Thanks again. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2015 : 11:53:33 AM
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Yoga Recap 2015-02-15
A decent week of sits. Nothing that stands out in particular, but I did have some deep and strong sits for sure. Some intensifying sensations at the solar plexus and chest area. These seem related to the practice of solar centering which I added to my meditations last Autumn.
The sensations of sambhavi mudra have become much stronger and more distinct this week. There is a "wider" and more "dense" association to the sensations. At the brow, I can sense very specific areas in the nasal cavity in general and behind and below the eyes in particular where I can detect the sensations the strongest.
These sensations begin with my small set of asanas which I do before the evening sits. Even from the start of asanas, I noticed strong sensations at the brow during the kneeling Seat asana, and these have intensified to a very strong and distinct level. I now maintain this "spinal nerve" energetic sensation from mula bandha (root) to sambhavi mudra (brow) throughout most of my asanas. And these sensations continue to arise spontaneously during sitting in bed upright as well as when driving.
Wall-E Mind
I had the observation at the end of one sit of how strongly the mind craves the process of labeling experiences. Not content to just allow the experience to unfold, a commentary at the very least is desired, if not analysis and judgment.
The mind seems as if it is this robot in a science fiction film, designed for some very specific roles that it continues to carry out despite the environment having drastically changed and its core processes having long since become redundant. This might be the plot of Wall-E.
Mind Addiction, The Pleasure Polarity of Novelty & Familiarity
My attempts to practice mindfulness throughout the day between sits has been a surprising struggle. The first few days were perhaps fueled by the novelty and showed some promise. Some very powerful observations brought to my attention the level of non-presence one can wander off into while consumed by thoughts and the processes of the mind. But I found myself as the week progressed drifting off into being consumed more and more by thoughts and living in the Mind Matrix.
At times I was even keenly aware of this drifting off into Mind and felt almost addicted to it. I assume this has to do with the craving of the familiar. It's curious how the mind and body crave both novelty and familiarity. This polarity of dissatisfaction which we are constantly oscillating between. We seem to crave novel experiences that result in familiar feelings of pleasure. In a way, mindfulness and the Stoic approach to living life seem like a method to experience the familiar as novel. A way to turn the mundane into the new.
Studies have suggested that meditation and mindfulness techniques seem to cultivate the ability to experience the world at a level of mind that escapes the labeling and categorization process of the brain. That which sees a tree as the word/label "tree", that lumps it into all other trees, that has forgone conclusions about what a tree "is". Free from this mode of perception, which seems to me to be a freedom from language, we can return to "no-mind" or "beginner's mind" where we experience the world, as opposed to experiencing our interpretations of the world.
This labeling process seems to be that which makes things familiar, and thus robs them of novelty. Meditation and mindfulness are perhaps methods to reverse that or at least put it under conscious control.
The Language of Self
Speaking of language, I've had the curious thought recently about what — if any — self-talk would take place without the language centers of the brain. Some recent reading (Michael Drout's "The History of the English Language" revealed to me how the characteristic Speer patterns of children are primarily due to the developing parts of the brain which handle language. They literally cannot perform certain tasks until a certain age, which result in what adults typically find cute or amusing.
Without language, how would one "talk to themselves"?
This seems to me related to Gary Weber's research into the Default Mode Network in the brain and meditation's effect on these "Self-generating" areas of the brain. Literally, where the experiences of sense of self, individuality and ego seem to be centered on a physical level. Studies have sown meditation to dramatically lower activity in these areas of the brain, particularly in long-term, regular meditators.
This of course has me wondering about the role of these "inner energy" sensations brought about by spinal breathing pranayama. Thy most certainly are experienced very close to the brain, and without nerve endings it is impossible for us to directly experience anything in the physical brain.
Glimpses of Extraordinary Clarity
At any rate, mindfulness has proven quite a difficult task at times. I realize I'm looking to undo decades of habitual defaulting to living in thoughts,and that isn't going to change Ina week. But I'm surprised by the ebb and flow of my ability to stay mindful. Even when I am aware of my lack of mindfulness, I can be mired in my thoughts about my lack of mindfulness instead of being mindful at that moment of realization!
This is where the addictive nature of experiencing our world through our interpretations over direct experience becomes the most apparent. I can almost "feel" the Self/ego fighting to maintain its existence and relevancy at these moments. As if it knows "if he keeps this up, we are out of a job — quick, think of something!"
That old familiarity pleasure seeking kicks in, we go back to those cozy (and literally) Self-gratifying thoughts, those processes of classification, judgment and analysis.
I can say that since implementing the intention to practice mindfulness, I notice glimpses of extraordinary clarity during mundane tasks — the infinitesimal texture pattern on the shower curtain, the way water cascades down the rinsed griddle in my sink, the splashing of the water and the rollicking soap bubbles along with it. I was stirring up a solution of salt water last night (to prepare a brine for a new batch of sauerkraut for the new mason jar airlock lids I just got, to cultivate the healthy anaerobic lactobacilli). The sensations of the water ever so subtly resisting the spoon, the small shifts in the gravitational center of the measuring cup and my hand's seemingly instantaneous compensation of it's grip to maintain the control.
These moments of unconscious mindfulness are in no doubt a result of the attempts to do so consciously throughout the day. I often find myself laughing out loud at the tiny and unexplainable joy they release within me. They are very welcome and help fuel the implementation of mindfulness through those frustrating periods where my attention is deep in the addiction to thoughts. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2015 : 2:46:59 PM
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Wonderful  |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 01 2015 : 11:39:31 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by kumar ul islam
Wonderful
Thank you :) |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 01 2015 : 11:45:37 AM
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I missed my post last week due to an increasingly hectic schedule. To be honest, last week's journal entry was a bit of working through some superficial personal issues anyways. I was hesitant to post for the sheer inanity of the content for anyone but me rather than any anxiety over the text.
I've also begun to post selections from these entries to a blog, and that adds to the time involved writing and producing these entries. I'm on the fence as to where they fit best. I know some here enjoy the wiritings, but I also realize this really isn't the format for what I am doing. Input from anyone who reads these entries is welcomed and would be appreciated. I'm glad to continue posting of people find these of value.
~YM
Yoga Recap 2015-03-01
A decent week of sits. Some quite strong energetic sensations at the sambhavi mudra location at the brow as well as in the solar plexus area. The overall unified sushumna sensations have been increasing as well, if not consistently experienced. There is definite incremental change happening, as has been all along.
I was thinking g back this week to the earliest stirrings of these energetic sensations about a year or so ago. It was quite novel and a bit alien at the time. These days, I even sometimes take them for granted. It's interesting how quickly the mind and brain can assimilate and adapt. I have a hard time even recalling not having these sensations, and the conscious control to initiate them.
I'm still not sure where all of it is leading, nor do I seem to have any minor experiences hinting towards the destination. That said, I've noticed my sits becoming more and more still. The mind is another story, it seems much more haphazard in the day to day and week to week experiences. I know I've made progress, even if that has been mostly cultivating the remembrance to be the observer of the thoughts and not always get caught up in them and identify with them.
Mindfulness practice has again been going poorly, in my estimation. I seem again this week to have more of a hindsight mindfulness — realizing how non-present I've been, how off in — and identifying with — my thoughts I've been. And then I seem to go right back into that lack of mindfulness! It's so comforting, familiar and addicting. Again, I feel the ego is somehow fighting back harder when it detects these mindfulness attempts.
Life between sits has been good this week, if not yet again extremely busy. I've been joking to myself that I had much more time when I was unmotivated and unproductive. It indeed feels great to be on this productive momentum, but I am amazed at how quickly another Sunday rolls around. It feel like the year has 52 very long days, and I just take a lot of naps.
The Dream of Reality
A discussion with a friend this week was stimulated by some reading on mastering core beliefs, and the author's research into the discoveries of the Buddha (or at least the author's interpretation of them). The author was tracing the core of fears to a mistaken belief, and the deepest fear/mistaken belief is that of the dual/differentiated nature of the world. Or put another way, the erroneous belief that the world isn't non-dual. That what is "out there" isn't us, that we are isolated, separate beings.
It's an interesting thought experiment to consider the possibility that like a vivid dream that seems so real until one awakes from it, that somehow this reality we are experiencing is somehow similar. In a dream, it's easy to forget that the people populating the dream aren't those people, they are aspects of yourself. Those people are symbolic in some way of an aspect of you that your subconscious mind employs to some end.
In a lucid dream, one realizes what is going on and can transcend some of the limitations which were only there because we assumed the rules of the waking world applied to the dream world (of which we were unaware was a dream world until lucidity occurs). Even then, it's difficult to recall that everything around you is a fabrication of the mind, and that the people around you are being conjured up by you (like breathing, without your conscious control).
So in a dream, accepting "other people" is really the acceptance of aspects of yourself. My thought experiment then was to aim to look at the world this way: what if one took a "selfish" approach to others, assumed they are just symbolic manifestations of one massive, non-dual Self, and looked to them not as competition, saviors, enemies or companions — but as fragmented and forgotten aspects of ourselves, externally reflected to us in a "dream". If we really knew we were dreaming, and that these people were "us", how would we treat them?
Forget any of this being "true", the idea here is that if it were true, how would you behave? And how often do we indeed seem to treat others as we treat ourselves — the way we truly treat ourselves, silently, with that voice of the Inner Judge and the Paranoid, Defensive Victim within?
Dissatisfaction: A Good Sign?
This earlier discussion with my friend led to him commenting how if he was indeed just a part of my dream, then I made a "hell hole" of a life for him. I countered by pointing out that he had a pretty good life is he stopped to really evaluate it. He agreed, but countered that the growing, constant dissatisfaction made it impossible to be happy.
Dissatisfaction is hard-wired. “Hunt and gather more food, then eat it”, “make more children”. We are not designed for abundance, but to anticipate scarcity. That’s why all the “Pursuit Of More Stuff” consumer mentality will never bring happiness (nor do manufacturers want for that to happen…). Or satisfaction. It’s all just a ploy that plays on our biology. It's a wise tactic in that pre-civilized world we no longer live in, but our bodies and biology still expect.
I think knowing that we are evolved to be perpetually dissatisfied is really helpful. You can just stop trying to “get past it”. You can’t. So stop focusing on “being satisfied”.
Meditation plays a key factor in this. The practice of realizing that thoughts are not in your control, but something you can learn to notice, acknowledge and release — and also stop identifying with, the same perhaps might hold true for “satisfaction”. Perhaps you can condition yourself to observe the dissatisfaction, but not let it consume you, filter your perspective or identify with it. And like thoughts, realize that they cannot be eliminated or transcended — the goal is to recognize and become familiar with the process so we can react in a more healthy and realistic manner.
I’m not saying any of this is easy, but I think that knowing you can’t “get past it” is a huge help. Much of what I have learned over the past few years that has helped me the most was learning that many of the things I used to think were “me” that are actually just “everybody”, and much of it “the way the body/brain works”, not some mental hangup or personal flaw.
I recently had an insight that “striving for happiness is pointless” — nothing remains in stasis, so trying to aim for and cling to “happiness” is foolish. It will come and go, and cycle between the happiness and unhappiness, endlessly. Until you accept that, you are going to be doomed for massive disappointment on a regular basis. But if you plan for it (Stoic style, not pessimistically), then you can just recognize it as an expected part of the process.
Not that it won’t still be an undesirable experience, but at least you’re realistically preparing for it, instead of hoping to “never be unhappy, ever again”, which I think a lot of us do.
Even if we are indeed happy, the body just acclimates to it and the Dissatisfaction Engine kicks into gear. So the subjective novelty of the experience wears off quickly even if the external circumstances don’t change. There is no stasis, so clinging to the desire for stasis in desirable emotional states is a fool's errand.
Perhaps that tells us that we aren’t actually supposed to be happy — or at least, to aim for that to the exclusion of all else. Or substitute “satisfaction" for "happiness”. If the science is correct, we literally can’t do it. So it seems that is not something it is wise to be pursuing.
Dissatisfaction just tells you all is normal! Lately, I’ve found that by keeping the body active, the mind quiets down. The less mind-focused I am, the less I think about being happy or satisfied. Sure, it creeps in. But I just try to not get lost in thoughts. I seem to only be dissatisfied when I think about whether I am or not. When the comparing mind jumps in.
It seems, then, that dissatisfaction is just a sign that all is running normally. |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Mar 01 2015 : 3:17:58 PM
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Thank You so much for positing these journals. They are immensely helpful.
quote:
Dissatisfaction just tells you all is normal! Lately, I’ve found that by keeping the body active, the mind quiets down. The less mind-focused I am, the less I think about being happy or satisfied. Sure, it creeps in. But I just try to not get lost in thoughts. I seem to only be dissatisfied when I think about whether I am or not. When the comparing mind jumps in.
Have you tried to stay with the discomfort/dissatisfaction when it arise instead of engaging in activity? You will be surprised to find that the discomfort will melt into peace.
Sunyata |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2015 : 12:57:05 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Thank You so much for positing these journals. They are immensely helpful.
quote:
Dissatisfaction just tells you all is normal! Lately, I’ve found that by keeping the body active, the mind quiets down. The less mind-focused I am, the less I think about being happy or satisfied. Sure, it creeps in. But I just try to not get lost in thoughts. I seem to only be dissatisfied when I think about whether I am or not. When the comparing mind jumps in.
Have you tried to stay with the discomfort/dissatisfaction when it arise instead of engaging in activity? You will be surprised to find that the discomfort will melt into peace.
Sunyata
Thank you Sunyata. Very nice to hear. I'm goi g to continue to post here for the time being.
I have indeed worked to stay with discomfort and dissatisfaction at times. It does seem to melt away. Not always into peace though :)
For me, I deal with some depression issues which brought me to meditation in the first place. I know the warning signs, and the ruminating state of mind that precedes these periods is familiar to me now. I know it's best for me to not sink into these patterns of negative thoughts and self-talk. That was what I was referring to. I think perhaps we are on the same page when it comes to benign discomfort and restlessness.
Thank you. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2015 : 12:59:20 PM
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Yoga Weekly Recap 2015-03-08
A decent week of sits. A bit more focused this week, although some days of rampant Monkey Mind for sure. The cultivation of inner energetic sensations continues, as the experiences intensify, refine and deepen overall. I notice stronger and more distinct sensations at sambhavi mudra and mula bandha. The solar plexus focus technique for the silent recitation of the mantra has definitely increased awareness of sensations at that area. The overall experience of the sushumna seems to be deepening.
I decided to go back and read over the spinal breathing pranayama book once again, just as a refresher. I'm still reading, but I definitely feel as if I may have been a bit slack in the focus of the visualizations due to the energetic sensations being so distinct these past few months. I also think I can work to slow the pace further.
I've been wondering lately if perhaps my intent is incorrect during the mediations, as I tend to favor the relaxation and "letting go" aspect of the effects, rather than actively engage the mind to stay on my object of focus (the silent mantra). I've been experimenting with being more attentive and actively focused. Can't say at this point if it has made any significant difference.
The brief asana routine continues to increase the onset and level of energetic sensations. Kneeling seat continues to reign supreme in this regard. I am also able to engage sambhavi mudra and mula bandha more persistently and consistently throughout most of the poses. My toe touch stretches have also surprisingly resulted in a noticeable increase in the flexibility. Odd for such a quantum jump in distance.
Life outside sits remains steady overall, if not a bit of some ups and downs. I've noticed increased impatience this week, lots of small and thankfully brief mini outbursts. At the same time, I've noticed a lot of spontaneous and unprovoked joy. Also, I find myself talking out loud to myself quite often as of late.
Mindfulness practice remains as more of "hindsight mindlessness" practice. It's quite amazing how easily,often and anxiously I return to mental chatter. Again, I almost feel as if the attempts to cultivate mindfulness are in some way provoking a defensive reaction from the mind, where it goes over the top with losing itself in thoughts to compensate for the "attack".
The Inner Squirrel
I am in the process of listening to a series of lectures on meditation and yoga. The lecturer was discussing the Bhagavad Gita (which I've not read) and how the story is about a great battle where the protagonist must fight against friends and family. The lecturer said this was an analogy to meditation, in that we must "battle" that which we cling to and hold most dear, identify with most strongly in our mental models of ourselves. Only then can we experience Samadhi.
With that analogy in my mind, I was out hiking at the National Park near me, and at one point along the trail I noticed two deer and stopped to observe them. As I did so, a squirrel hopped into my view, digging into the slowly melting snow. As the squirrel descended deeper into the drift, his head comically popped back up every second to scan the environment. I assume this was a lookout for danger. He seemed to be scanning more than he was actually foraging.
It struck me that the human mind is really no different than that of the squirrel, or at least those parts of mind and brain not related to the prefrontal cortex. We too are constantly, predominantly on the lookout for danger. Anticipating, even expecting it on an insanely recurring frequency. Constantly swapping between activity and scanning, incessantly.
It made me wonder if this "Paranoid Radar" system were indeed a deeply evolved aspect of the brain and mind, then when external circumstances changed to that of safety and abundance, the Paranoid Radar would have to keep on in its attempts to carry out its mission. Even if this became cannabalistic and the process began to find dangers and fear aspects of itself. Hence, self-doubt, negative self-talk, and the like.
It's become quite apparent to me over the past few years of focusing on self-development that the troubled mind can be traced back to an idle body. We seem conditioned for action, use and implementation. This applies to body and to mind. A free floating astronaut suffers from the lack of gravity; walking exercises not just muscle but bone. So too, the mind seems to atrophy without a healthy focus, and physical activity seems to play a role here. Not just exercise or exertion — creative and productive activity count too. I find my drawing sessions just as rejuvenating as I do cleaning my house these days.
Meditation/yoga, I've found, seems to understand this. Most of the techniques are actually physical, and seem designed to calm the body down to ease it into a relaxed state where the true concentration and meditation practices can begin.
The Inner Squirrel needs to be given something to do in order to placate the natural tendency of the body and the mind to be on the constant defense. Eventually, that calm mind reinforces the calm mind and a feedback loop is established. I'm getting better and better, if slowly. It seems my Inner Squirrel still has some paranoia issues to resolve. We will get there. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2015 : 1:11:34 PM
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Feed the squirrel the right nuts! Love it!  |
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justaguy
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2015 : 2:46:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Feed the squirrel the right nuts! Love it!
Inner Squirrel HAHAHA this so speaks to my Autistic ADHD ACC brain !
(I'm going to use this now, thank you very much!) |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2015 : 1:27:06 PM
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Yoga Recap 2015-03-15
A good week of sits overall. I've been noticing further refinement of the various additions to spinal breathing pranayama such as mula bandha, sambhavi mudra as well as the overall unified sensations of the sushumna/"spinal nerve". I've also been noticing an increase in sensations at the solar plexus, no doubt due to the somewhat recent addition of the "solar centering" focus of the mantra during meditation.
I've redoubled my efforts to bring back a more conscious focus to my sits. A recent lecture on yoga (meditation yoga, not fitness yoga) really hit home with the description of a Buddhist illustrated meditation path painting, showing the aspirant on a literal path and trying to bring an elephant along, as well as a monkey. Elephant was the metaphor for the body, the money the chattering mind. But when they mentioned the appearance of the rabbit, who symbolized complacency, that really struck home.
I realized I'd reached a point where I was meditating on auto-pilot to some degree, and also leaning into the relaxing state as opposed to maintaining a. Focus on the object of attention — the mantra in my case. I'm working to be more immediately present throughout the sits. Allow the body to reach a relaxed but attentive and present state. The same for the mind.
I've noticed quite a bit of impatience in between sits. This isn't unexpected, and in fact if I recall correctly, this impatience often seems to be a precursor to reaching a further milestone along this meditation path. Perhaps more like a yardstick though.
Reading more and reminding myself about what actual meditation really is, it's quite apparent I'm not even at the state of true concentration yet, let alone true meditation. At times it can seem a fruitless journey. Others seem to travel this with ease, while I feel as if I am barely treading water. Of course, there is quite a bit I overlook as far as the progress I've made. It happens so slowly that it tends to become assimilated and taken for granted at about the same rate it happens.
Still, I won't deny my occasional suspicions that this is all a waste of time. I came to this practice because of the claims of direct experience, and while I've experienced some physical sensations without question, I don't often equate those with anything besides a curious phenomenon. They do not see to relate directly to any experiences of joy, bliss, rapture, insight or awareness that are often claimed for these practices.
Of course, much is said about meditation affecting the life outside of the actual sit, and to this I believe I can attest. Of course, I quit smoking, started exercising, eating healthy, established other persistent healthy practices at around the same time I started meditating regularly, so it's tough to point to one thing as a cause. This is why an experience during a sit would be easier for my logical mind to correlate to meditation directly. Otherwise it remains indefinite as to a prime cause of these experiences.
Without a doubt, I experience far more that I can directly correlate to practices in regards to pranayama than with the meditation/concentration practices. I don't know what exactly I am experiencing as a result of the spinal breathing exercises, but there is no doubt that I am experiencing exactly what was described and that the techniques are the direct cause of them. I can't say what effect they actually have — as mentioned they appear as no more than curiosities at this stage for me. But the sensations continue to intensify, refine, deepen, widen and require less effort and conscious attention to engage and maintain.
My mindfulness practice has fallen off tremendously this week again. Not due to lack of interest, but again to a busy week and a seeming addiction to thinking. It's very similar to how one can put into practice a healthy regimen for a few months, feel better, and then have strong urges to go back to your old, immediate-gratification ways now that you are "fixed" or "better" or "healthy".
I feel as if the mindfulness practice has been the same, but on a much more concentrated time scale. Days and weeks instead of weeks and months. Getting lost in thoughts is like junk food, pornography, refined sugar and carbs, and HD 3D virtual reality all wrapped up into one. It's actually got me thinking quite a bit about how ridiculous this craving for novelty really is. Re-listening an Alan Watts lecture this week really drove this home; he mentions how the human mind and body are just wired for never being satisfied. How once we had modern dentistry, health care and central heating, we just moved on to take those for granted and found something else to be dissatisfied with. In his time, it wasn't too far removed from a time where those things weren't commonplace as they are these days, let alone in the 1960s. And far, far removed from the pioneer days or those of the Middle Ages! So much craving has been satiated, but the mind is endlessly inventive in seeking more.
We forget that we already live in this mind-boggling, fantastical environment on a giant rock spinning and floating in an endless expanse of outer space. It makes me think of myths like the story of the Garden of Eden, and how perhaps that metaphor is actually about mentally ejecting oneself from the "Garden", not a physical ejection. The incessant labeling, compartmentalizing, naming, classifying, describing mind and the inevitable assimilation of that which is constant over that which is novel eventually ejected us from the "paradise" we are living within at all times.
We just no longer perceive it as such due to the conditioning of the body and mind, and its default mode of scanning paranoiacally for that which is novel to avoid potential danger. That which doesn't kill us gets taken for granted and ignored.
This chattering mind is the serpent, the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. Good and evil. Very dualistic. Perhaps there was an inaccurate translation and it was intended to convey the idea not of the knowledge of good and evil, but that addiction to the classification process of the mind that applies a judgment of "good and evil" to "paradise". The "fruit" being not in the sense of food, but in the result of actions, as in the "fruits of your labors".
One is no longer in paradise once they become consumed by the results (fruits) of the incessant process of the judgmental ("this is good and this is evil") mind processes. The etymology of "knowledge" points to the concept of "recognize" and also "to identify" — the latter of which has a curious second meaning in this context. The identification with the preferences of the chattering mind are these metaphorical "fruits"/results.
Tempting fruits, indeed. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2015 : 5:10:00 PM
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Ah yes, the monkey mind. We do want to quiet it down.
What I'm not so sure about is whether the restlessness in an intrinsic quality of our conceptual thinking. My impression is that it has a lot to do with the emotional side - stress level/emotional tensions etc. Have you noticed how quiet the mind gets when we feel secure and happy, for instance a sunny day in the middle of nature, or during moments of intimacy? But when we're stressed, conceptual thinking kicks in - it is after all the tool for solving problems and reducing stress.
It is true that the mind can create stress and tension all by itself (rumination, arguing with reality etc.) once the seed of stress exists. Do we discipline the mind or deal with our emotional baggage first? A bit of a chicken and egg I think.
I personally have no doubt that meditation is paramount. When the Witness has developed, then It will decide when the situation calls for conceptual thinking and when when the conceptual mind just volunteers for a job it can't do and therefore it needs to be put back in its box. |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Mar 19 2015 06:26:53 AM |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2015 : 1:15:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
Ah yes, the monkey mind. We do want to quiet it down.
What I'm not so sure about is whether the restlessness in an intrinsic quality of our conceptual thinking. My impression is that it has a lot to do with the emotional side - stress level/emotional tensions etc. Have you noticed how quiet the mind gets when we feel secure and happy, for instance a sunny day in the middle of nature, or during moments of intimacy? But when we're stressed, conceptual thinking kicks in - it is after all the tool for solving problems and reducing stress.
It is true that the mind can create stress and tension all by itself (rumination, arguing with reality etc.) once the seed of stress exists. Do we discipline the mind or deal with our emotional baggage first? A bit of a chicken and egg I think.
I personally have no doubt that meditation is paramount. When the Witness has developed, then It will decide when the situation calls for conceptual thinking and when when the conceptual mind just volunteers for a job it can't do and therefore it needs to be put back in its box.
I completely agree, and love your analogy of the conceptual mind as a tool in the toolbox that one can pull out as needed. Meditation just helps us learn to put the tool away when we are done using it. As the old saying goes, the person with a hammer sees everything as a nail…
One of the biggest insights I've had in this process was the realization that I can step in and redirect mental processes that lead to emotional states (which influence mental processes… and so on). I'm not sure if this is "The Witness" or not, but the disidentification with the stream of thoughts, and the direct experience of how it influences mind, body and emotions was quite powerful. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2015 : 1:17:57 PM
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Yoga Recap 2015-3-22:
Meditation: Energetic Sensations & Enhanced Mantra
Another week of good sits. At times quite deep, still and with strong energetic sensations. I've been experimenting with the first AYP mantra enhancement to see how it works out. Have to say, as when I switched to the mantra as an object of focus (over the breathe which I was using formerly), the enhanced mantra too seems to have noticeable effects.
The first difference in experience was one of the first days with the enhanced mantra. I found my mind was focused solely on the mantra word-thoughts, but there was also this "piggybacking" stream of thoughts that was arising parallel to the thought stream of the mantra. The content was very surreal and disparate. I almost felt as if I had tapped into the subconscious mind, as the content of these thoughts had the feel of dream imagery with the bizarre connections, scenarios and disjointed shifts.
Many energetic, deep and still sits all week. Some with some profound moments of focus and really being present in the senses, quickly returning from any intrusions from mind-wandering. The energetic sensations continue to intensify, particularly at the brow/sambhavi mudra. The "solar centering" practice too seems to be increasing the sensations at the solar plexus area a bit more every day. I've also had strong sensations in the heart/cheats area spontaneously, and at time they can an be quite acute. Not painful, but a bit like they are on the verge of becoming too intense.
The unification of the sushumna/spinal nerve sensations continues to grow. All of these inner physical sensations also enhance my physical stillness throughout the sits. I reach profound levels of body stillness quite quickly and easily now, and have for a few months at least. There's no denying that "something" is going on with the spinal breathing practices, even if I can't yet say exactly what that is.
I've also noticed a lot of irritability, short-tempered attitude and general crankiness as of late. Some minor depressed moods continue to ebb and flow through out my days. I've decided to increase my intake of food throughout the day. I've always been one to eat two big meals, and I suspect I may be dealing with some low energy and the resulting fatigue, crankiness and such from the lack of healthy calories. Will see how it goes this week, just stocked up on more veggies, fruits and cheese along with my usual grocery purchases for the week.
Mindfulness: Brain Push-ups
Mindfulness remains an elusive habit. I get a few moments in here and there, but more often than not its about realizing how un-mindful I've been for the past hour or so, rather than an extended stay in mindful awareness.
I also had the thought that mindfulness is poorly named. Shouldn't it be "body-fulness" or "sense-fulness"? Being "in the body" or fully engaging your senses is the goal here. I feel like the word "mind" being in the name of the practice puts my emphasis on the mind as opposed to where it needs to be — the body, the senses and in the activity I am performing.
The interesting articles I recently read over at the Mindfulness MD blog helped me wrap my head around this practice a bit more, seeing mindfulness not as an end in itself, but as a sort of an exercise for the brain. As I've mentioned before, the goal of mindfulness isn't to find anything amazing in the present moment, but rather to return to the state where your attention is focused on the body, the senses and the present moment. This engages what brain researchers call the Task Positive Network. This is a state where certain areas of the brain are activated, and they are the Yin to the Default Mode Network's Yang state.
The arising of the dominance of one collection of brain structures results in the quieting of the other. Therefore, the practice of mindfulness is a way to consciously engage these brain structures that are activated in the Task Positive Network dominant state.
The Default Mode Network is more of a ruminative mental-focused state, while the Task Positive Network a more active, physical-focused state. Mindfulness, however, seems to be a "hack" that allows us to engage this physical-focused state without a physical activity that takes over conscious awareness — which is why all those mundane, frequent activities long relegated to autonomic functioning are the exact activities we want to try and cultivate mindful awareness during. By doing so, we can condition the body and the brain to engage this "flow" state on a more frequent and regular basis.
In short, just as meditation advice always says to look for results in between the sits, not during them, mindfulness is not about the experience of putting mindful awareness into practice, but rather the cumulative effects of doing so.
I think for us left-brained types, it's easy to get frustrated with mindfulness when you practice it for a week with little noticeable results or effects. But understanding that this is a conditioning process is very helpful for me. In a sense, it's like the early realization one gets about regular exercise — building muscle takes time! You cannot work out for a few weeks and expect encouraging results. You're going to need persistence over months to get to that point.
Mindfulness seems to be "push-ups for the brain", and in particular for the Task Positive Network structures of the brain. Just as one push-up, one set, one workout isn't going to have any noticeable effects, one has to stop looking to each implementation of mindful awareness for results or confirmation of effectiveness or success. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 1:58:34 PM
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Yoga Recap 2015-03-29
A mixed bag of sits this week. Overall good. Often quite distinct and strong energetic sensations at the brow and the solar plexus. My body stillness is quite refined these days, once I settle into the sit I tend to have very little fidgeting or distraction on that aspect.
The mind and the thought stream is another story, as usual. I've had some deep and focused sits, but also sits rampant with thought.
I've also had some recurrence of the "is this all a waste of time?" thoughts about the practice in general. I've been maintaining my mental state against some low moods that have been lurking as of the past couple weeks. The depression and ensuing negativity and lack of worthiness of the future of course affect the meditation practice.
I've felt quite busy and without time these days, and meditation comprises a good portion of my day. Often I just wish I had experiences more specific and tangible pointing to benefits accrued or mileposts reached.
I've been working again lately to establish my ability to lucid dream, and there's a parallel here. Before I ever had my first lucid dream, there was quite a bit of scientific arguments for and against the validity/reality of the experience. When I had my first lucid dream, I no longer needed to believe their existence was valid. It's now just a matter of finding the right technique that assists me in making them happen more often and eventually at will.
With meditation, I am still in that stage where my experience hasn't been distinct, specific or dramatic enough to point to meditation as the definite factor in any positive changes in my experience of life. It has no doubt helped to shift my awareness and learn to observe my mind and stream of thoughts in a different manner and from a different perspective. But as far as a specific and particular shift to — or experience of — a novel way of living/being/thinking, I can't really say that has happened yet.
Some of the experiences of others I've read about sound quite appealing and interesting. I feel, as I've mentioned many times before, that while I've experience some specific and described experiences, they don't really have any noticeable impact on my life outside the "well, that's kind of interesting" aspect. The energetic sensations in particular are the experiences I can point most specifically to, and they do t really offer much outside the "curious phenomena" label.
If someone were interested in lucid dreaming, I could and would tell them that it's definitely a real and enjoyable experience. I'd encourage them to make the effort to have the experience. With meditation, I don't really feel I've reached that same "cheerleader"/apostle level of experience.
At least for some of the claims made by others, the level of the experience for me hasn't been anything profound. Of course, lucid dreaming is all-or-nothing — you reach that state or you don't. The techniques aren't like a recipe, and might take a while to work if they do. I'm sure the same holds true here. It's just frustrating with a very focused, dedicated and persistent practice to feel like I've been stagnating at a "mildly interesting physical sensation" level for some time.
Of course, when I first got started I was clamorous for the mildly interesting physical sensations. I guess I was expecting them to have more to offer, or to be the physical counterparts of a more experiential whole.
My mindfulness practice again has been struggling. I find myself remembering to be mindful less and less. But at small moments here and there throughout the day. Perhaps I just went a bit overboard with the initial burst of enthusiasm, and once the reality of practicing mindfulness alongside an active life settled in, I started comparing that initial sole focus on mindfulness to my current peppering of it throughout the day.
Still, I feel like I could be doing much more of it and I definitely notice myself escaping into thoughts — even when I know I am doing it and want to be more mindful. The addictive, seductive experience of being lost in thoughts is fascinating and powerful. No doubt much hinges on the decades-long familiarity with that mode of existing, and the comfort that comes from that. The familiar can be very comforting even if it isn't healthy. |
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technoyogi
Canada
158 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 2:36:15 PM
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I enjoy your weekly recaps Yogaman. I think I also saw you post in another thread where you talked about a relative lack of the visionary experiences. Around the same time I was listening to a passage from Autobiography of A Yogi, and while I don't recall the exact words, it had to do with just how blessed are those who can have faith without proof. Seems to me you have certainly had that.
However, since you mention lucid dreaming, thought I would chime in with a mention that I was recently able to combine a bit of yoga and lucid dreaming by doing pranayama in a lucid dream. The result was quite visionary and I would think that if you can remember to try pranayama or meditation in your next lucid dream (I know, easier said than done, first you have to have the lucid dream, then remember to try pranayama or meditation), you will definitely get something interesting to hang you hat on as a kind of beacon to what the daily sits can become.
It is said that a practice done in the dream state can be 9 times more powerful than in the waking state, so maybe over time you can leverage a bit of the dream state this way.
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Dogboy
USA
2198 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 3:15:43 PM
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quote:
My mindfulness practice again has been struggling. I find myself remembering to be mindful less and less. But at small moments here and there throughout the day. Perhaps I just went a bit overboard with the initial burst of enthusiasm, and once the reality of practicing mindfulness alongside an active life settled in, I started comparing that initial sole focus on mindfulness to my current peppering of it throughout the day.
Hail Yogaman! 'Mindfulness' and 'Struggling' should not be in the same sentence. Like your lucid dreaming experience, when you are mindful, life is active; when you are not mindful and lost on a thought train, it's passive. It's okay to be either/or in any given moment, and "struggling" is really just wasting gas.
As for your meditation struggles, we've had this discussion before, so I guess the only new advice I have would be to take Expectation right off the table and just DO for the scientist of your soul, and selfishly for me, a fan of your weekly recap! You are a very logical, methodical, complex being, sharp and well expressed, and the Doing is going to take you Somewhere Unexpected, I am confident of That. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 3:31:20 PM
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| hi yogaman I have not to be honest read all your posts I dip in every now and then ,your last post is like my own not the dreaming bit but the all the rest ,asking the same questions I feeling the sme way ,the trouble is the practice is so simple we are drawn back for more,more of what ?a gentle wearing away of the veneer that covers our existence it's so slow almost not noticeable but all the same its happening like mountain being worn by wind and rain this process uncovers only anther layer but when it's uncovered you've forgotten what the last layer looked like I suppose it's revelation on a small scale a bit like the theory of relativity but less encompassing and more beatiful the teaching is in every moment I suppose but at times the moment eludes us and we left with a doubt this doubt though is worn thin also with time and time is eternal .love peace to you and thankyou. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 9:46:11 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by technoyogi
I enjoy your weekly recaps Yogaman. I think I also saw you post in another thread where you talked about a relative lack of the visionary experiences. Around the same time I was listening to a passage from Autobiography of A Yogi, and while I don't recall the exact words, it had to do with just how blessed are those who can have faith without proof. Seems to me you have certainly had that.
However, since you mention lucid dreaming, thought I would chime in with a mention that I was recently able to combine a bit of yoga and lucid dreaming by doing pranayama in a lucid dream. The result was quite visionary and I would think that if you can remember to try pranayama or meditation in your next lucid dream (I know, easier said than done, first you have to have the lucid dream, then remember to try pranayama or meditation), you will definitely get something interesting to hang you hat on as a kind of beacon to what the daily sits can become.
It is said that a practice done in the dream state can be 9 times more powerful than in the waking state, so maybe over time you can leverage a bit of the dream state this way.
Thanks for the comments. Lucid dreams are a very rare occurrence for me at present, so I'm not counting on being able to do yoga in a lucid dream to keep my motivation :)
I don't really have faith, and indeed I am looking for proof via direct experience. No need for faith then :) |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2015 : 9:55:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
quote:
My mindfulness practice again has been struggling. I find myself remembering to be mindful less and less. But at small moments here and there throughout the day. Perhaps I just went a bit overboard with the initial burst of enthusiasm, and once the reality of practicing mindfulness alongside an active life settled in, I started comparing that initial sole focus on mindfulness to my current peppering of it throughout the day.
Hail Yogaman! 'Mindfulness' and 'Struggling' should not be in the same sentence. Like your lucid dreaming experience, when you are mindful, life is active; when you are not mindful and lost on a thought train, it's passive. It's okay to be either/or in any given moment, and "struggling" is really just wasting gas.
As for your meditation struggles, we've had this discussion before, so I guess the only new advice I have would be to take Expectation right off the table and just DO for the scientist of your soul, and selfishly for me, a fan of your weekly recap! You are a very logical, methodical, complex being, sharp and well expressed, and the Doing is going to take you Somewhere Unexpected, I am confident of That.
Thanks DB. I've just been going through a week or two of disillusionment with yoga and meditation. I'm sticking with my practice for the time being. It's just a bit frustrating to feel as if things have stagnated, and any experiences I have seem meager.
Although I will say that without an expectation, I've little motivation to practice. I'd just be left spending a good portion of my day doing some weird techniques of breathing funny, swinging my forehead and poking my fingers in my eyes! :)
I kid, but without results from the efforts they can start to seem a bit ridiculous to maintain if one isn't perceiving any benefits, even potential ones.
Just venting a bit here. Like I said, going through a bit of disillusionment the past week or so and my motivation levels have been quite low as of late. I was hopping around the forums earlier and it didn't help much. I need some super-under-sensitive meditator techniques it seems.
Thanks for your thoughts. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2015 : 12:13:01 AM
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One thing to remember about mindfulness is that it's just a matter of what you're paying attention to. I've spent some time with earnest "mindfulness" advocates, and they all seem to be fixated on either breathing, or whatever particular physical activity they're doing at the moment. But the problem is, sometimes we need to be mindful of other realities besides the immediate physicality of outer circumstances.
If I have a thought-stream or surge of emotion that needs to come to the surface, that may need my attention more than whatever is front of me. Not that I should shut out the immediacy of the moment, but having a flexibility and range of motion (within awareness) is pretty important.
The mind thrives on its ability to connect dots, and that includes drawing from the reservoir of memory, as well as vision of the future. I just laugh silently when I hear people talk about "The Now" as if it excludes past and future. It's doesn't. The Now is the omnipresent, infinite scope upon which time and space unfold. Therefore, if you really want to embrace The Now with any kind of depth, purpose, and meaning, that kind of mindfulness will include consideration of long-term trajectories.
Anyway, the whole reason I fell in love with AYP rather quickly is because it was distinctly different from much of the passive spirituality I had come across before. For instance, spinal breathing pranayama (tracing the nerve up and down the central channel) is much more engaging than simply trying to hold onto a vague notion of staying "mindful" of my breath.
In AYP, there is more empowerment, precision, color and texture. It's a more wholesome ride, with plenty of attention given to both the ecstatic feminine side and the ability to cultivate miracles (samyama). On this note, the only true test of practices is how they are spilling over into the day, and for me, that gets validated over and over again as I continue to encounter new surprises, new melodies, and new company.
Keep your eyes on the prize, Yogaman. Don't be afraid to get creative and go beyond the baseline. There are many ways to find satisfaction. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2015 : 12:39:14 PM
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Thanks BT. Perhaps you can suggest more specific examples of what you suggest? Not sure what you mean by "get creative and go beyond the baseline".
Perhaps my frustration with meditation and yoga as of late is a persistent resurgence of depression, and the resulting lack of focus, hope, motivation and desire. Your mention of how the daily life goes on between sits can be answered for me at present as: not so great.
I'm not asking for the "unending divine bliss" spoken of by Yogani (and seemingly available to everyone on these forums), but even just some temporary, mundane bliss :)
Thanks for your thoughts. |
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