|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 7:37:11 PM
|
hey there people on this forum
I had some "serious thinking" going on here
Okay so I talked to a friend of mine and told her:
look everything we do is jump from tree to tree trying to escape ourselves
She said something like: But what about just doing what makes you happy in that moment?
But I was like: yeah but I seem to be always hungering for more
But I have that feeling or thought that I am not made for more and more
I am not selfconfident at all...
I am so afraid of rejection.
I can't go and take what I want
I am so afraid of dancing tho on mushrooms I dance so freely I love it it's poetry in motion
And although I love dancing so much I can't do it usually. too much fear of messing it up. And the actual messing it up.
Maybe I'm just a **** up trying to escape into spirituality?
I really want to find out because it just hurts so badly to feel like it makes no sense it has no point what I am doing here on this planet
I'm just here.
I don't just want inner silence. I want truly deep and powerful answers.
Sometimes I think: okay this must be for me, this whole awakening thing draws my energy magnetically. But then again I don't seem to be the personality to really be made for pursuing it :(
And also: what if the dream turns so nice that I just forget about waking up?
People please help me out! :( |
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 9:14:53 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by escapado
hey there people on this forum
I had some "serious thinking" going on here
Okay so I talked to a friend of mine and told her:
look everything we do is jump from tree to tree trying to escape ourselves
She said something like: But what about just doing what makes you happy in that moment?
But I was like: yeah but I seem to be always hungering for more
But I have that feeling or thought that I am not made for more and more
I am not selfconfident at all...
I am so afraid of rejection.
I can't go and take what I want
I am so afraid of dancing tho on mushrooms I dance so freely I love it it's poetry in motion
And although I love dancing so much I can't do it usually. too much fear of messing it up. And the actual messing it up.
Maybe I'm just a **** up trying to escape into spirituality?
I really want to find out because it just hurts so badly to feel like it makes no sense it has no point what I am doing here on this planet
I'm just here.
I don't just want inner silence. I want truly deep and powerful answers.
Sometimes I think: okay this must be for me, this whole awakening thing draws my energy magnetically. But then again I don't seem to be the personality to really be made for pursuing it :(
And also: what if the dream turns so nice that I just forget about waking up?
People please help me out! :(
Friend,
Your experience is how it is for everyone.
We hunger for more. It is our nature to hunger.
There is ONE and only ONE complete being in existence, and
this complete being pretends to be US, so that He/She/It
is not lonely.
That's awesome for the One being, but for us it does present
as challenging ;-)
But are you one of those people who has to skip to the end of
the book and not read the story?
You have us, and we have you.
We'll muddle through this together.
Love,
Kev |
 |
|
|
Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 10:22:45 PM
|
Yes, you want to use spirituality as an escape; very much like myself. Yoga has the "deep and powerful answers" you seek, but you wouldn't recognize them in your present state of mind. You have to meditate consistently over a long period of time to find these answers, by finding silence first. It is the source of the most profound answers there are.
The "always wanting more" is the CAUSE of suffering. People want what they don't have, and don't want what they do have. This thinking keeps us from being in the present moment. It's ironic because what you want is IN the present moment, but you can't see the present.
It will also keep you from meditating because this scattered part of your ego will tell you to hurry up and move on; there is nothing here.
It causes the insecurity and lack of confidence, because as you say, you are avoiding yourself.
The only answer is learning to be in the present moment, and quiet your mind by meditation. It takes time, and perseverance, as all the best things in life do. |
|
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 11:02:02 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Yes, you want to use spirituality as an escape; very much like myself. Yoga has the "deep and powerful answers" you seek, but you wouldn't recognize them in your present state of mind. You have to meditate consistently over a long period of time to find these answers, by finding silence first. It is the source of the most profound answers there are.
The "always wanting more" is the CAUSE of suffering. People want what they don't have, and don't want what they do have. This thinking keeps us from being in the present moment. It's ironic because what you want is IN the present moment, but you can't see the present.
It will also keep you from meditating because this scattered part of your ego will tell you to hurry up and move on; there is nothing here.
It causes the insecurity and lack of confidence, because as you say, you are avoiding yourself.
The only answer is learning to be in the present moment, and quiet your mind by meditation. It takes time, and perseverance, as all the best things in life do.
Beautifully said.
Yes, the restless desire to avoid Life is the core problem.
There are valid emotions which issue forth later, when the gunk
is getting cleared out: love, wonder, a sense of community,
which do not spring from that restless desire, but come from
the silent source. You know this; I'm stating it for Escapado.
Love,
Kev |
|
|
|
escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2012 : 3:40:20 PM
|
But this path takes so much time and if it'd provide me with a cool bliss then well it would be more comfortable to walk but it doesn't
And what I actually want is not gradually change myself, not change myself but break out of this. I can't take this virtual reality bullsh*t fake stuff anymore... |
|
|
|
Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2012 : 9:54:24 PM
|
| I'm sorry you feel this path is not for you. Good luck finding what you want. |
|
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2012 : 10:42:51 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by escapado
But this path takes so much time and if it'd provide me with a cool bliss then well it would be more comfortable to walk but it doesn't
And what I actually want is not gradually change myself, not change myself but break out of this. I can't take this virtual reality bullsh*t fake stuff anymore...
Dear Friend,
Contrary to 90% of what's written; this world is entirely real.
I can understand being sick of it; it's a painful place for most
of our journey. (you can twist it around philosophically to be
'not real', but then you deny tigers who then eat you).
It's just not the most 'complete real' the most 'wonderful real'.
At our core, is the Sleeper, who many call the Self or Atman;
there is a distinction to be made; but for this post, it's
not important. The Sleeper feels bliss and tries to ignore
the physical world. The Sleeper is nearly timeless and free
of pain.
Then there are the bodies we all have.
So we have these two natures in us, until we become healed
at least;
the timeless/blissful,
and the isolated/hurting.
It's the way of things.
It takes time to purify ourselves and start to wake up the Sleeper,
and for the Sleeper to wake us up, as an integrated being.
(one aspect of the Sleeper is called the silent witness in AYP).
AYP is not magical, it's just powerful. It does take time.
But could you explain about the walking? Do you have a health
issue?
Love,
Kev |
|
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2012 : 04:41:36 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by escapado
But this path takes so much time and if it'd provide me with a cool bliss then well it would be more comfortable to walk but it doesn't
And what I actually want is not gradually change myself, not change myself but break out of this. I can't take this virtual reality bullsh*t fake stuff anymore...
Then stop and give up looking for it, give up any hope, abandon all your beliefs. It is the looking and not finding what you believe you should find that is the cause of suffering. Even death of the body will not provide what you seek. When you give up trying you will discover that you have hidden it from yourself. Surrender completely.
Many of us have already given up, we just don't realise it yet. |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
wanting MORE from LIFE
