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Giacomo
78 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 04:55:52 AM
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Before
I have always been interested in spirituality. I have gone long ways and have a long path differing from sufi-islam, buddhism, philosophy, .. It are all marvelous ways. Sometime 3 years ago I stumbled upon AYP.. I've read the 8 limbs of yoga from Patanjali and was immediatly attracted to yoga.
I have seen hell and heaven, they exist in our own minds. I have forsaken hell to come into heaven. This is yoga. I quit yoga practices after 3 months of practicing.. Not long after, hell came back..
3 weeks ago I've started again.. Everything is clearer now..
12.07.2012
I am a sex addict, I just loveee sex.. When I am bored I start masturbating.. So today I made a choice to begin practice Brahmacharya.. Today everything went well.. There was a slight urge in the evening, but I managed..
13.07.2012
Today I'll continue my vow to practice Brahmacharya, I wanted to begin fasting as well, but I had to drink my coffee and have my cigarettes.. The urge to fast is compelling. I will fast the entire month of Ramadaan with our Muslim-brothers and I will continue practice of deep meditation and pranayama. I won't eat fast foods today.. Starting meditation within half an hour 
After my first meditation session today with brahmacharya and a liquid fast, I found the kundalini-flow more subtle during pranayama.. it was very gentle, climbing from spine and then expanding within my brain.. during deep meditation, I found it was more peacefull.. Yet I had many thoughts about posting on this forum and pizza.. strange
10.24 pm.. I broke my brahmacharya vow after 2 days.. But I renew my vow.. And will renew it time and time again.. I will block some chat-websites, some other sites and erase all my female contacts for this time being. Note to myself: keep them pants on in the bedroom!
Normally I 'went' for 3-4 times a day.. That's 7 times less on 2 days! I made progress! This is a personal motivation to continue with 'the vow'. I am thankfull this 'mistake' happened so I could learn from it!
Other note to myself: tell my girlfriends about my vow and break those romantic relationships up.
Siddhasana is a little bit difficult. This time being I miss the necessary flexibility in the muscles to perform this pose correctly.. Everything is 'hard' in the beginning! Keep on going and trying!
Furthermore I performed a colon cleansing/basti for the third time this week.. Refreshing! |
Edited by - Giacomo on Jul 13 2012 4:52:11 PM |
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 08:23:27 AM
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| ahaha I like reading that :) Keep it up ;) |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 12:31:58 PM
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| Thank you Escapado! I will! |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 4:29:03 PM
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PS: I hope I am not to 'open' about my experiences.. Don't want to shock someone!  |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 5:12:01 PM
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13.07.2012 - 11.08 pm
I am proud to tell ya'll that I've blocked 'those' websites and quit 1 of my 2 romantical relationships! I feel free... All blessings come from The One!!!!!
Jesus said: For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it. |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2012 : 04:54:12 AM
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14.07.2012 10.52 am
I began my water fast today, I want to go as far as possible (within an healty way). I still had cigarettes but I hate those and want/would like to stop. Furthermore I renew my vow of celibacy. Celibacy day 1 - Water fast day 1. My first day without coffee |
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2012 : 06:06:30 AM
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I don't see why you would do waterfasting as I find water extremely important to the body even more important than food!
About that Celibacy stuff
I used to be a sex/masturbation addict and I couldn't handle it at all. And although I didn't understand why exactly it would be so, when I read Yogani saying, that ejaculation on a too regular basis will "eat your yoga" I made the same vow you did.
At first I know it's hard and I also made something like a diary about it to remind myself of my success and keep going that way. At first 2 days was like whoah! 4 days without? impossible!
Then I pushed myself to one week but the 6th day was just too much for me. Now it happened quite a few times that I just went for a whole week without even noticing it! :D
It's great to know that it actually IS possible to sustani it really long (even longer than a week, because if a week seems impossible but happens then who knows, right?)! It's like you do small steps and you can't imagine it bringing you forward but after a while those small steps will be like a big one and suddenly it is done! You really went through a change!
But I may have to add that I also had breaks inbetween where I was just like "screw this it is pleasure and why sbould I be against it??" where I started indugling myself in it freely.
Have you ever played an organ? Because it's like with guitar to me. In the beginning I was like: I will never be able to play freely on the 6-11th frets! It really seemed out of this world hard to me. But then suddenly I was able to do it and it was the same about improvisation etc. The "impossible" is totally in your hands bro! ;) |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2012 : 07:33:38 AM
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Thank you Escapado, everything is 'difficult' in the beginning.. With a waterfast I mean, only drinking water.. As I continue the work and progress I will keep you posted.. I realized it's difficult but when you learn to walk, first you take babysteps, you crawl, you fall, and you get up... We'll all keep getting up untill we 'arrive'..
For this moment being.. I'll keep silent and work
I will keep you all posted!
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 06:17:35 AM
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23.07.2012 - 12.12 pm
I've read a book on theosophical subjects. I appreciate and believe in the thoughts about reincarnation now.. I see how reincarnation fits in EVERY major religion.. You've got to read between the lines ;) I understand that we all have the 'breath' or 'light' of God in us.. I know why we meditate.. We want to burn bad karma from passed lives to evolve in the futur within this life or other lifes 'till we become 'One' with the Creator.. The light that shines in everything.
How foolish was I one day to leave Him behind!... I was, am and will always be a part of God..
We will continue our journey for the kingdom of heaven is within us! It's everywhere!
Burn that karma peepz!
Cya soon! |
Edited by - Giacomo on Jul 23 2012 09:10:04 AM |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 07:58:35 AM
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27.07.2012 13.56 pm
When life is a theatre play on the canvas of 'Divine consciousness' or 'God' what does it matter? What do words matter? Scientific progress? Siddha's? Jesus? Religion? When there is nothing? What does nothing matter? An awakened dream... The end of everything... And it doesn't matter |
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Giacomo
78 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2012 : 2:17:40 PM
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28-07-2012 20.15 pm
I no longer seek enlightenment.. What is enlightenment but a word with a given meaning? I proceed practices for my enjoyment and relaxation.. The boat is floating.. There is no good.. There is no bad.. There is no religion.. And for so many they are real. What is... Is..
The mind of a simple man.. A 'dumb' happy fool.. Childlike |
Edited by - Giacomo on Jul 28 2012 2:20:19 PM |
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My experience - journal beginning 12.07.2012
