Note: For the complete lessons, with additions, see the AYP Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living Books.

Lesson T37 - Sexual Fantasies and Bhakti

From: Yogani
Date: Thu Dec 30, 2004 9:37pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"


Q: I have been doing meditation for quite some time now and had a lot of spinal breathing exercises. Since four years ago I have been in taoist sexual practices and I can now elevate sexual energies to the crown. Although I have been faithful to my wife as she had been my partner, she is quite slow in practicing and I found myself doing most of the practices all alone. However I have other women in mind in doing the practices on my own. Is this harmful to my wellbeing? Second, are the women that I am fantasizing on affected by my visualizations and emotional energy? Please enlighten me on this matter.


A: Fantasies for solo practice are fine. If we use them to go higher, it is a form of bhakti, yes? As ecstatic conductivity gradually comes up, the fantasies will transform to a higher expression of ecstatic bliss and divine love bubbling from within. Then the process will be self-sustaining, and there will be little need to fantasize on external persons or objects. This is how it is with all ishtas (chosen ideals), and gurus too. We are drawn to them by internal desire, become infatuated outside, and then take them back inside, transforming them to a divine expression of ecstatic bliss within. The last step requires good yoga practices. Then it happens like clockwork.

Do our sexual fantasies affect the ones we are fantasizing about? Perhaps in small ways -- but nothing destructive. It is for a good cause. It would be different if we were getting tangled up in extramarital affairs. Then the stability of our family and future of our children would be at risk, not to mention the effects on the other person. And so too would our yoga be at risk. Daily practice does best with a stable routine in place. If our life is being flung from pillar to post, yoga practices are not so easy to sustain.

The desire to be with other women is normal for men, and no doubt women harbor hidden desires and fantasies too. Following such feelings into relationships isn't an essential part of our enlightenment process. Preservation and cultivation of sexual energy (brahmacharya) is, and that can be by solo means or in relationships. So we can put our hidden sexual desires to good use, just as we can put our outer expressed sexual desires to good use. Either or both can be used to take us higher. That is bhakti -- transforming desires to serve our chosen spiritual ideal.

In the meantime, as we are filling up with ecstatic bliss and rising divine love all the time, our relationship with our loved ones will become full with loving service. Sex transformed to pure love!

The principles and practices of tantra can be used in any lifestyle. It is up to us to adopt a lifestyle that is compatible with our inclinations, needs, and the needs of our loved ones. If we are applying the principles of preservation and cultivation of sexual energy, the sexual aspects of the process of yoga will be served. The specifics of how the principles are applied are up to each person. I wish you all success on your chosen spiritual path. Enjoy!

The guru is in you.

Note: For detailed instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga practices and the enlightenment process, see the AYP Tantra book.

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