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Note: For the complete lessons,
with additions, see the AYP
Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living Books.
Lesson T35 - Q&A Ecstatic Reflex during Sex
Date: Wed Jul 28, 2004 10:46pm
New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive, as
previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"
Q: Thank you very much for your remarkably lucid writings on kechari. It is of tremendous
value to me. I have been in stage 1 Kechari for many years. Truth is I never actually knew
how to get to stage 2, since I did not know about the 'side approach'. My tongue seems
nearly long enough to get to stage 2 soon and I feel ready. If I had not read your message
(main lesson #108), it would have been delayed for some years,
since I was going through the middle.
I have a question for you if I may. As I approach sexual orgasm, (during ordinary sexual
activity not in any way approached as yogic) I find the instinct to roll my eyes upwards
and push the tongue back and up as in Kechari. I have followed this instinct on many
occasions. I do not know how to describe the affect well, but it seems to integrate the
Ajna and the sexual impulse. It seems as if the sexual urges become more powerful under
Ajna control as the result of the practice. It is fulfilling, intense and pleasurable.
Have you any comments on the practice?
A: I am very happy to hear that the kechari discussions have been helpful to you. This
practice has been shrouded in mystery for so long, and barely heard of by so many yogis
and yoginis, even though it is a key factor in the development of ecstatic conductivity in
the body. It is time to bring kechari out of the closet, so we can intelligently follow
the natural impulses that are coming up in so many of us these days.
Even stage 1 kechari carries great power, because the sensitive nerves in the septum come
down to the roof of the mouth right where the hard and soft palates meet. That is where
the bottom of the edge of the nasal septum is. Putting the tip of the tongue there is like
closing an energy switch. As soon as some ecstatic conductivity is rising in our nervous
system, the pleasure of putting the tongue there is quite obvious. Of course, when kechari
evolves to stage 2, going behind the soft palate and up, our tongue is directly touching
the "secret spot" on the septum (see tantra lesson #34),
and the long term results of that are beyond description, though we try our best to
explain it. Yoga will make ecstatic poets out of all of us yet!
The tendency to raise the eyes and roll the tongue back during sexual activity and orgasm
is a natural reflex that occurs when ecstatic energy is coursing through the body. It is
an automatic yoga. The energy moving in sex is the same energy we are cultivating in
advanced yoga practices. The fact that many (even those not doing yoga) experience this
reflex during sex is a testament to the latent ecstatic conductivity that exists in
everyone. Promoting it systematically through yoga practices is not only an important part
of how we move toward enlightenment, it also unravels the mystery of how sexual energy
functions in us on every level.
Yes, the most effective control and inner stimulation of sexual energy in the nervous
system is exercised through the ajna (third eye), as you are finding. Kechari (rolled back
tongue) is part of this, and a close bedfellow of sambhavi (eyes rolled up toward a
slightly furrowed center brow). Spinal breathing and many of the other techniques are for
developing the third eye to root connection. You are experiencing indications of this
important connection in the ecstatic reflex during your sexual activity.
I suggest you take this reflex of the eyes and tongue as an indicator of the possibility
for cultivating the experience of ongoing ecstatic conductivity in your nervous system.
Such an experience does not end with orgasm. It just keeps going around the clock. The
methods of yoga aim to promote this, as discussed throughout the main and tantra lessons.
The overall process is pretty simple, really. Cultivate inner silence in daily deep
meditation. Then overlay the stimulation of ecstatic conductivity with spinal breathing,
mudras (including sambhavi and kechari), bandhas, siddhasana, samyama, chin pump, spinal
bastrika, tantric sexual methods, and so on. When blissful inner silence and ecstatic
conductivity rise and meet in us, the result is an endless lovemaking on the cellular
level. Then we bubble over into the ecstatic bliss and outpouring divine love that is the
natural fruition of human evolution. No more struggle. Just pure joy through all
circumstances in life. That is what we are, and it unfolds as we go through the process of
purification and opening of our nervous system.
Once we get to that stage, a simple lifting of the eyes at any time will send us into a
reverie of ecstatic bliss. All of life is divine to one who is constantly in love and in
Regarding your question on practice during sex, it is suggested you see how long you can
stay in front of orgasm in a lovemaking or masturbation mode. In other words, let that
state of ecstatic conductivity that draws your eyes up and tongue back continue for some
time without taking it to orgasm. There are techniques to help with this. Consider
reviewing the tantra lessons on holdback, blocking,
and the count method. As we develop familiarity and skill at
staying in front of orgasm, we find that the ecstatic conductivity in our nervous system
will stay with us much longer during the day. If we add daily meditation, spinal
breathing, and other practices, then we will be setting the stage for ecstatic bliss to
take up permanent residence. It's well worth the effort.
No doubt you are doing many of these things already, so please regard all of this as a
reminder. I wish you all success on your chosen spiritual path.
The guru is in you.
Note: For instructions on
kechari mudra, see the Asanas,
Mudras and Bandas book.
instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga
practices and the enlightenment process, see the
AYP Tantra book.
For detailed instructions on building a
daily practice routine with self-pacing, see the
Eight Limbs of Yoga Book.
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