Lesson 38 - Pornography, Compulsive Habits, and Tantra

From: Yogani
Date: Mon Jan 3, 2005 0:36pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this
tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this
one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"


Q: I have a question about pornography. I have a problem with this
addiction, and masturbation, and I want to know how to stop this bad
habit. Please help me. I practice yoga and meditation and I want to
control this instinct. Thanks.


A: Thank you for writing and sharing. Your desire to deal with an
obsession for pornography and masturbation means the solution is
already being formed. Desire is the first step. Your meditation is
bringing up inner silence, and that is calling your inner energies to
a higher purpose. In this situation, "vices" can become a means for
yoga. By this I mean that, with a strong desire for a higher purpose
(bhakti), you can make good use of the methods of tantra to transform
your sexual obsessions. If you have not already, please review the
tantra lessons. There you will find techniques, including the
holdback method, blocking, and the count method, which can be used
during any kind of sexual activity in solo or partner mode to achieve
the primary goals of tantric sex -- preservation and cultivation of
sexual energy. This is brahmacharya.

But let's be clear about an important point. Nowhere in the AYP
lessons is sexual activity beyond our personal norm encouraged for
the purposes of tantra. Knowing sexual techniques is not a license to
engage in excesses we normally would not. I say this because there
has been some misunderstanding about it. For example, on the last
tantra lesson #T37 regarding the use of sexual fantasies for tantra
when they happen, some have asked if this is a license to indulge in
sexually covetous desires. No it is not. But if the desires are
happening, we will do better to make good use of them with tantric
techniques than to try and squelch them into karmic repressions that
can rise again later on. With bhakti, sitting practices, and tantric
methods, we can transform these to a higher purpose within our
nervous system. Then the energies will be contributing to our
enlightenment, and be a burden to us no more.

The same thing goes for pornography and other sexual feelings and
behaviors that we may be obsessive about. They are not encouraged for
their own sake. But if they are happening, if the tendency and
conduct are there already, then we can redirect the energy through
bhakti and tantric methods. So, whatever our sexual tendencies may
be -- whether they would be considered normal or abnormal by us or
anyone else -- they can be redirected through yoga and tantric
methods. You are experiencing this already with the rise of your
desire to overcome what you see as a destructive behavior. Yes, it is
destructive. But you don't necessarily have to shut it off. Maybe
better to redirect it to a higher purpose. In doing that, the tiger
of our unruly sexual obsession can be tamed to permanently serve a
higher purpose, rather than caged, only to eat us later when the
tiger escapes again -- and it will.

Obviously, if our conduct is such that it breaks the law or seriously
endangers ourself or others, then that conduct should be stopped
immediately.

The permanent transformation of our nervous system to naturally
express the blissful inner silence and ecstasy that are inherent
within us is the key to overcoming all obsessive behaviors. This is
the role of yoga. Whether it be a simple desire for truth (bhakti),
sitting practices, asanas, tantric sexual methods, or joyfully
engaging in service to others, all of these are tools to promote
purification and opening. The more aspects of good yoga practice we
can incorporate in our daily routine in an orderly fashion, the
sooner we will be seeing our obsessions melting into our steadily
rising enlightenment. So, keep up your practices, and add more as you
are able without undo strain. The procedures of "self-pacing" should
always be applied. The topic index on the web site lists lessons for
this important aspect of practice -- self pacing, which is about
regulating practices is such a way so as to achieve maximum progress
without creating undo discomfort or risk.

If obsessive habits are particularly strong, then yoga practices
alone may not be enough. Our nervous system is a window to the
infinite. Yoga cleans the window in very refined ways. If we have an
addiction that is especially strong, then obstructions could be
accumulating on our spiritual window faster than yoga can clean them
off. Then our ability to meditate or practice other yoga methods
could be hampered. A strong addiction related to alcohol, tobacco,
drugs, money, food or sex, can hold us back. What can we do in this
situation?

The "Twelve Step program" developed originally by Alcoholics
Anonymous in the 1930s is a highly effective means for dealing with
compulsive habits, and has been expanded to cover every kind of
compulsive/addictive behavior.

If you look in the AYP links section under "Twelve Step Programs,"
you will find some useful resources there. If yoga is not able to
clean the window due to a deep-rooted compulsive habit, then the
twelve step program can be a useful compliment. The goals of the
twelve step program are consistent with yoga, and whether we consider
ourselves to be compulsively addicted or not, developing a
familiarity with the principles of the twelve steps is very
worthwhile.

It is up to each of us to decide our course in life, and take the
necessary steps to travel our path. I wish you all success on yours.
Enjoy!

The guru is in you.

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