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 AYP Retreat Experience, Kripalu, March 2011
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mikkiji

USA
219 Posts

Posted - Mar 26 2011 :  12:22:07 PM  Show Profile  Visit mikkiji's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Home is where I am now. The retreat was wonderful beyond words and the smile will not fade from my face. Thank you ALL, every one of you, so much for allowing me to join you in silence. On my 5 hour drive home, I sort of randomly put on my iPod and out came the following;

I want to live in the world, not inside my head
I want to live in the world, I want to stand and be counted
With the hopeful and the willing
With the open and the strong
With the voices in the darkness
Fashioning daylight out of song
And the millions of lovers
Alive in the world

I want to live in the world, not behind some wall
I want to live in the world, where I will hear if another voice should call
To the prisoner inside me
To the captive of my doubt
Who among his fantasies harbors the dream of breaking out
And taking his chances
Alive in the world

To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

With its beauty and its cruelty
With its heartbreak and its joy
With it constantly giving birth to life and to forces that destroy
And the infinite power of change
Alive in the world

To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world
To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

Jackson Browne

Followed by another amazingly appropriate Jackson Browne composition;

All good things got to come to an end
The thrills have to fade
Before they come 'round again
The bills will be paid
And the pleasure will mend
All good things got to come to an end

God I wish I was home
Laying 'round with my friends
The call of the wild
Caution thrown to the wind
The fall of the child
Where the longing begins
All good things got to come to an end

Like a river flows
Rolling 'till it ends in the sea
Our pleasure grows
Rolling 'till it ends in you and me

Now as the dark gathers into the sky
And legions of might go thundering by
Regions of light grow dim and then die
And we with our wings
Wait for morning to fly

Like a river flows
Rolling 'till it ends in the sea
Our pleasure grows
Rolling 'till it ends in you and me
Rolling 'till it ends in you and me
Here where the angels
Have appeared and are gone
Your face like an ember
Glows in the dawn
But I want you to remember
All wild deeds live on
All good times, all good friends

All good things got to come to an end
The thrills have to fade
Before they come 'round again
The bills will be paid
And the pleasure will mend
All good things got to come to an end

All good times, all good friends
All good things got to come to an end...

Sorry this is SO long, but these were the words sung to me as I got back on the literal interstate highway and the figurative highway of my life journey. At least for me, the message was very clear, and so, to all my good friends from the Kripalu retreat, until we see one another again, we take our chances alive in this world... (a small tear from one eye leaking out now...) and especially to Phillip, QUACK QUACK!!!
Michael

Edited by - mikkiji on Mar 27 2011 2:52:47 PM

anita

USA
13 Posts

Posted - Mar 26 2011 :  2:55:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi all- I was wondering who would be first to post about th Kripalu retreat! Thanks for starting, Michael. I am on a high, loads of energy. Thanks for the advice to sleep a lot after the retreat, Katrine, I am sleeping deep and heavy. Feeling very active and engaged in the world, straightening up my life. I had a tarot reading last thing as I left Kripalu yesterday. I read cards myself so I know she wasn't just saying it - my cards were really positive, a lot of cards about renewal and shedding old skin and old traumas. Good relationship cards too. Funny, my house was empty when I got home, my husband and the cats were up in NH which was nice in a way because I got to enjoy the quiet energy of my house in solitude. But I very soon got phone calls from my husband wanting to know how it went, my mother, and my best friend. My heart is so open, I am experiencing such joy. Love to all, Anita
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JDH

USA
331 Posts

Posted - Mar 27 2011 :  1:01:19 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Love and hugs to everyone. I now have a second home, in the circular space between us all - which I carry with me forever.

The retreat was a monumental spiritual event - a sneak peek at the beautiful potential of sharing and connecting with people (and all of reality) instead of isolating. It didn't take long for the clouds to roll in around the beautiful light shining from my heart as I left. I remember the first rest-stop I made on the drive home. "How can all these people be so sad? How can they not see the love shining? Where are their smiles, where are their eyes?" Watching the thought cycles close in on the silence on the long drive home was a great self inquiry opportunity. I was powerless to stop it.

Now I have that place inside though. That memory, that place of true relationship with all of you. I know the potential of real love, and it will shine through in time. It will dissolve these walls, this fortress of solitude that I live in. How can it not. I now know what bhakti is, it's being in love with that connection we have. Aching for it, like a broken heart, when it's missing. Seeing my own walls, that I can't take down all at once. And knowing that continued practice will chip away at them.

Faith. This process gave me something to believe in from these practices. I knew SOMETHING was happening before, and now I know it's something that I love. Something that I can trust. Something that is more important than all the BS at the top of my usual priority list.

Ah, just typing to you all loosened up the flow a little bit. It feels so good, a little gush of that quiet love. Things tighten back up, and clench down, and the love disappears, but somehow I can already tell it will always come back.

Thank you all so much. ((HUG))

Katrine, I said hi to Bailey - she sends you many licks.
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JDH

USA
331 Posts

Posted - Mar 27 2011 :  1:02:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
P.S.
Love, JDH aka Jeff.
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olgalu

USA
1 Posts

Posted - Mar 27 2011 :  11:53:24 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you all. I did my meditation yesterday and today. Before starting, I discovered for the first time that my cellphone has a timer. I never saw it before and then there it was. I had a great time at the retreat I have so much gratitud for the whole experience and learned so much from each of you. Thank you, thank you [img]icon_heart.gif[/img] [img]icon_heart.gif[/img] [img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
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Katrine

Norway
1813 Posts

Posted - Mar 28 2011 :  11:05:10 AM  Show Profile  Visit Katrine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Mikkiji, Anita, JDH and Olgalu

Thank you so much for sharing. It is a great privilege to witness the opening of the heart and the mind and the body - the whole retreat was full of pivotal moments like that - I can only thank you for daring to walk the inner path, and for letting yourself be impacted by your own inner silence, it's guiding wisdom and love.

It was a great honor to work with you all.

I learned much, about how necessary it is to self pace more than usual as leaders, about balance when it comes to the program and about how grace is always manifesting in a myriad of ways.

Give me a couple of days and I will circulate the email list.

Much love to all of you - and the full circle :)

PS I keep sensing Bailey - thanks for the licks, that is one loving dog JDH, he must have been ecstatic to see you again

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Guy_51

USA
170 Posts

Posted - Mar 28 2011 :  5:58:50 PM  Show Profile  Visit Guy_51's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Sure am glad to know Bailey is a dog.
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Parallax

USA
348 Posts

Posted - Mar 29 2011 :  7:28:41 PM  Show Profile  Visit Parallax's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi all!!

I just wanted to say what an amazing experience the Kripalu retreat was for me. The energy in the group was amazing, and I ended up self-pacing myself starting on day 1...it was that intense. Everybody brought such an open-ness and willingness to engage, it was truly beautiful.

I was only able to stay at the retreat through Tuesday, but I could--quite literally--feel the retreat continuing inside me through the rest of the week.

This retreat really worked on my heart center for me, I could feel obstructions coming to the surface, which resulted in a bit of sensitivity/emotion. It brought up a lot of issues for me that needed inquiry, but already I feel these "issues" dissolving and feel much lighter.

Katrine and Carson, you were amazing...such gifted teachers, and I feel truly blessed to know you both and to have spent that time together. It was really a life changing experience. I can feel your presence still There really are no words to express my gratitude for the Silence you awakened in me

And thank you to everybody who attended the retreat, for sharing it with me and making it such a wonderful experience...Philip, Pieter, American Baba, Michael, Jeff, Anita...and everyone else

Much Love to You All

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Rattan

South Africa
41 Posts

Posted - Mar 30 2011 :  11:36:30 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi everyone. I eventually made it back to South Africa, and was immediately thrown back into all the hustle and bustle of daily life, so only now getting time to visit the forum. I took a few photos on the retreat and will soon post a link to it here and on the facebook Retreat page.

Katrine and Carson, thank you so much for your leadership and love. It was again a priveledge and joy to be with you and all the other new and old friends. As I said there, the overriding emotion for me is this feeling of happiness.

Love

Pieter
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Mar 30 2011 :  12:35:56 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Everyone

I am just now getting back into the swing of things after the retreat... and this is my first forum post in quite a while (well, quite a while for *me* anyway )

It was such a priviledge to be able to share Silence with you all... I feel truly honored to have met and practiced with such a fantastic group of people at such a wonderful facility as Kripalu.

I don't have a whole lot to say as I am still just resting in the silent, open space in the heart, but I just wanted to "break the seal" and start the process of getting involved on the forum again after taking a couple of weeks off from posting.

Thank you everyone for all you brought to the retreat, and for being so open and compassionate, both with the group and with yourselves. It is truly a blessing to be able to watch it all unfolding so beautifully.

May you all have a smooth transition back into "regular life."

Love!


P.S. Thank you once again Parallax for your generosity and your hospitality. You are a true servant.
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YogaPat

Canada
12 Posts

Posted - Mar 30 2011 :  1:54:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit YogaPat's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello All-

Thanks for a great retreat I really appreciate it.
I'm taking it slow as Lots of obstructions are being cleared out over here (a little bumpy).

Thanks Katrine, Carson and everyone.

L&L
Patrick
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nearoanoke

USA
525 Posts

Posted - Apr 01 2011 :  5:48:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Looks like it is positive experience from everybody. I'm planning to goto the Allentown retreat in September
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Sparkle

Ireland
1457 Posts

Posted - Apr 02 2011 :  11:25:53 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply

Great to hear the retreat went so well, keep up the good work folks




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Ananda

3115 Posts

Posted - Apr 02 2011 :  11:35:43 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
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Kirtanman

USA
1651 Posts

Posted - Apr 02 2011 :  3:13:43 PM  Show Profile  Visit Kirtanman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi All,

I'm very happy to hear of another successful retreat; wonderful!

I knew it would be that way, of course .... I'm just happy to read some of the actual reports -- feels wonderful to read some of the details of how various people are getting benefit from AYP in retreat/group settings.

As our longer-term AYPers know, we were "online only" for a long time -- and so, expanding into real-world retreats is wonderful -- and also a completely natural new phase in AYP's growth.



I'm looking forward to seeing everyone (who will be there) in Allentown, in September!

Wholeheartedly,

Kirtanman

Edited by - Kirtanman on Apr 02 2011 3:14:50 PM
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Sparkle

Ireland
1457 Posts

Posted - Apr 03 2011 :  05:53:31 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Kirtanman and all

Kirtanman wrote:
"As our longer-term AYPers know, we were "online only" for a long time -- and so, expanding into real-world retreats is wonderful -- and also a completely natural new phase in AYP's growth."


Just to remind you and everyone that AYP group retreats have been with us for a while. We had the first one in Glendalough in Ireland in 2008 and were honoured to have Katrine and emc attending from Norway and Swedan respecively.
It is wonderful that this has now spread to the US and to see Katrine using the retreat experience gained in Ireland for the great benefit of others.
See links below for details:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=3805
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=6009#6009

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Rattan

South Africa
41 Posts

Posted - Apr 04 2011 :  07:19:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Some photos of the Retreat: http://snipurl.com/27qkre
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Katrine

Norway
1813 Posts

Posted - Apr 04 2011 :  07:37:43 AM  Show Profile  Visit Katrine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Sparkle

I am eternally grateful to you, your meditation group, the Irish earth, the sacred church spaces, Martha Rose, and the people I worked with in Dublin, Tramore and Allihies for opening up such a wonderful pool of hearts, wisdom and grace and allowing me to grow along with everyone else in that soil.

Peace be with you, I hope I will be back visiting soon, I still feel like I do not know how to teach anything, but when I release that feeling into silence - I keep being taught along with whomever I am working with.

Bless you and thank you.



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Katrine

Norway
1813 Posts

Posted - Apr 04 2011 :  07:51:57 AM  Show Profile  Visit Katrine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Rattan

Thank you for taking the time to make that album - I really appreciate it
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American Baba

USA
51 Posts

Posted - Apr 05 2011 :  01:57:57 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
What words could capture it? A week seemed like such a long time before leaving, yet it seemed so very short once the retreat was underway. The silence I felt from our first sitting on was absolutely gripping. I wish it could have gone on much, much longer.

I know from talking with folks that there are a lot of people who read the forum almost daily but seldom, if ever, post… So to the new folks, whether posting or not, welcome! It was good to meet you -- and to spend time with old friends as well.

Katrine and Carson were at their best! I still contemplate the many things they shared. Michael, the stories and insights really added to my experience. Anita, thank you for answering my questions despite the fire drill. JDH, I still smile every time I think of the story behind your name and I still contemplate the issues we discussed while walking. Olgalu, your kurmasana was every bit as impressive as the photos on the wall at Kripalu. Phillip, if you decide to give-up your academic pursuits and become a kundalini insurance salesman let me know. Lenny, thanks for the insights from our dialogue! Parallax, I enjoyed getting to know you – finally! YogaPat, perhaps you need to get to know a nice tree? Seriously though, I hope your bumpiness smooths-out for you. Cindy, thank you for our lunch discussion; I learned a lot. Rattan and Adriana, thank you for posting the photos on Facebook. It is wonderful to have them as reminders of the retreat when I am on Facebook. There are truly too many wonderful memories to comment on. The many conversations, whether over food or while walking, greatly augmented the experience. There was a wealth of experience in that room.

I appreciate the opportunity to have gotten to know and share with each of you. It is really great to see the many retreats that are beginning to sprout up around the world. I hope to see everyone again at other retreats!
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JDH

USA
331 Posts

Posted - Apr 05 2011 :  4:42:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Pre-script: wow this is a lot of words *laughing at myself*

Some observations after the Kripalu retreat

The retreat experience already feels like a dream I can barely remember. Like it was some other me there. And it didn't take long afterward to get closed down, and re-identified with the same traps and walls that were absent at the retreat. I had the giggles, and a glowing warmth about me for a few days. It was easy to connect at first. It felt like I could cut through all the outer layers and really connect with people.

But ten days later it seems like I'm right back into the icy cold fortress of solitude and separation. It's not bothering me (in fact I feel good just to know that connection was possible), but I'm just amazed at the stark differences. There's a lot of opening to be done.

Some scenery from practices has reminded me that I have taken something home from the retreat besides sweet memories. Far from it.

Love bubbles floating up from the root and popping in the heart. Millions of little effervescent bubbles shooting up like the spray from a carbonated beverage. And some big jumbo bubbles like the ones that interrupt the flow when dumping out a bottle of water. Felt like falling in love with my own heart. That gushing love. The retreat was oozing with it.

Crown opening is continuing. There were a few seconds in one practice with energy getting through the top. It looked like water flowing through a strainer, and out the top from several tiny holes - plus the one giant channel up the middle. It was the first time I've felt that river of light flow in two years. The energy starts to accelerate to what seems like lightspeed, minus any resistances in the nervous system. I only let a trickle go through (self pacing) but even that was quite amazing. This was during samyama, and sutras were carried away instantly by the river, like a giant vaccuum cleaner. They were swallowed whole by silence, no letting go necessary. Afterward I was really wondering, "what am I?" What am I that I could see this. That I could experience the speed of light.

Multi-dimensional heart rotational realignment. Hard to describe more detail, but heart seemed to be rotating in small bursts, at very high frequencies, with some type of vertigo that gave me the notion of extra dimensions. I let it flutter around and do its thing, fully expecting to burst forth in tears at any moment, but they never came. It was a silent realignment.

Silence, quickly filling all the openings. A growing awareness that as "obstructions" are cleared by energy moving through pathways (with wonderful symptoms and scenery as described above) that all these spaces are filled with silenced. Emptiness and openness everywhere is filled absolutely full (right to the top) with nothing, that same silence.

Insight: Every thought and action has a kernel of truth to it. At its deepest level, each action (literally everything I do) is love. On top of that tiny grain of real intention is mountains and mountains of bullsh*t. Several state of the art waste treatment facilities are going to be necessary to ever strip down all those layers and get in touch with the true action. But at least I know it's there.

I've been yo-yo'ing between these beautiful experiences and insights, and my memories of interactions shared at the retreat, and my "real life" which doesn't seem to match up at all. Occasionally wondering how to connect the two. Trusting the practices to do most of the work - but realizing karma yoga is my own responsibility as well.

P.s.

Love JDH

Edited by - JDH on Apr 05 2011 4:55:47 PM
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JDH

USA
331 Posts

Posted - Apr 05 2011 :  4:54:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
American Baba,

It's impossible for me to think of you and not smile and laugh.

I read some more about material monism on wikipedia.

"Material monism is a Presocratic belief which provides an explanation of the physical world by saying that all of the world's objects are composed of a single element"

Everything is made of the same thing. Sounds awfully familiar.

Rattan, thanks for the pictures.

And thank you to everyone. It's amazing, just thinking of you and writing to you a little bit, looking at a few pictures, starts the love flowing a little.
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Kirtanman

USA
1651 Posts

Posted - Apr 05 2011 :  9:05:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit Kirtanman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Sparkle & All,

I was just speaking generally, though I can see how my phrasing might have made it appear otherwise.

What I meant to say was:

It's wonderful to see this number of retreats beginning to take place; especially retreats that are yielding such positive experiences for everyone, even as the number of retreats increases.

There's kind of a momentum to AYP retreats now, as of this year, that is of course built upon the foundation of everything about AYP to date, including previous retreats.

It just seems like an exciting new phase of AYP's growth and expansion - and I'm simply very happy to see it, because I know the potential that AYP has to benefit anyone who consistently and sincerely practices.

Wholeheartedly,

Kirtanman


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anita

USA
13 Posts

Posted - Apr 07 2011 :  6:52:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I haven't been able to see the photos from the retreat - how do I get to them? Thanks
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Shanti

USA
4854 Posts

Posted - Apr 07 2011 :  7:02:17 PM  Show Profile  Visit Shanti's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by anita

I haven't been able to see the photos from the retreat - how do I get to them? Thanks


Are you on Facebook?

Even if not, this link should work:
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?...l=9e4a573fb9
Let me know if you can see the pics.
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Pheel

China
318 Posts

Posted - Apr 07 2011 :  9:33:03 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pheel's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi every one, I mean, every dear,

I think it's time to share my experience of the retreat:)

The silence and and energy of the retreat are strong and enormous. This everybody bore witness to, and need not to be repeated again. I describe the experience of meditating in this field as meditating in a true master's meditation. And the true master is none other than the Source itself. Of course, this is made possible by so many hearts willingly opening up, letting go and melting together into one. That wonder and beauty can only be gestured at by language: language is foil, experience is the gold.

This retreat was significant to me,besides the silence, the energy, the many hearts melting into one, is becoming more spiritually mature. By spiritual maturity I mean both a recognition/awareness of more fundamental pattern of one's karma and a instant intuition of one's own spiritual condition. Different from last retreat, in this one, I was very aware of my own conditions and started to self pace from the right beginning. The intuition of the spiritual conditions has become so sensitive that it just knows on site where I was in terms of loading the capacity for practice. (This, in the long run, will bring huge benefit and help to avoid big mistakes on the path.)As a result, there has been no discomfort from overloading. Actually while I was traveling in Hawaii, I was able to come back to 20mins DM quickly. and I knew the silence was strong, I feel the wavy energetic ecastasy even in meditation.
The insight dialogue, though overloaded me, was another great gain. Both Michael (Mr. Mickey) and I were fully present and, being such a perfect mirror, the spontaneous flow of words come back from Michael as truth in its crystal clarity. I was a bit startled to face one of the fundamental patterns of my karma: romantic longing and balancing upon an imbalance, which can be termed "the poetry karma."

This is what I've been feeling till now. But it is too early to evaluate the five day retreat, whose effect will be long lasting. I have a sense that the silence and the wavy ecastasy will continue to merge and grow in the coming months.

Thank you Katrine and Carson for leading the retreat!
Thank you Michael for the Insight dialogue!
Thank you Richard for the compassionate companionship throughout!
Thank you Matt for giving me the ride and support (your jacket had been meditating with us all the time, so wear it more)!
Thank you Jeff for being my bro,
Thank you all the girls, young or mature, for letting me hug you to my heart's full, you are all cute girls to my arms:)
Finally, sorry Yogani, I made quite a few jokes on you during walks:)
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