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Clear White Light

USA
229 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2010 :  09:02:05 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
I'm pretty embarrassing to have to admit, but I often question whether I am addicted to marijuana. You would think that even having that thought-process going on; wondering whether or not you actually are addicted to it; would be enough to motive a person to stop. But even in spite of this, I feel as if I don't want to stop.

The past 2 years or so that I have been meditating have helped me grow as a person immensely. Two years ago I was constantly agitated, depressed, anxious, had no real reasonable goals or desire to be self-sufficient. Now I'm a 4.0 student in college looking forward to majoring in biochemical engineering or a similar field and possibly even medical school. This is kind of a big deal for me, as I dropped out of high school almost 10 years ago when I was 17. I feel much less depressed most of the time, I have infinitely more focus. I even taught myself Algebra, and I'm dyslexic! lol

But one thing that I haven't let go of at all is marijuana use, even though I have much more clarity regarding it now. It is definitely a huge crutch for me, but on the other hand I can also think of many good things it has brought me. Of course, that can always be countered with the thought that those "good things" would be even "better" if they could be arrived at without marijuana. I've always felt like the habit would just kind of naturally drop away from me like most other things have when practicing meditation. This hasn't happened though.

If anything, I feel as though my desire to use it has actually increased, even while other desires are consistently decreasing. I've actually been celibate for nearly 4 months now, but I can't seem to come to a place where I want to stop getting high. Funny, you would think that sexuality would be harder to control, but apparently this isn't the case for me. The very fact that it is such a strong attachment should be enough for me to want to give it up. I'm able to take that sort of viewpoint with other things, but it doesn't seem to work on this.

I feel a real struggle about this and I guess I'm just looking to vent a little. There isn't anyone that I can talk to about it. My girlfriend can't relate to me on this level, and all my friends are pretty much stuck in the same habits. I can see how marijuana use has played a role in stunting the growth of many of my friends. When I look at my own life, it doesn't seem to be holding be back like that. Perhaps it did in the past, but I've been moving in positive directions for a while now whether I'm using marijuana or not. That makes me think that maybe it's not so bad..

Anyway, I just felt the need to get this out there. I'm not sure why.

Edited by - Clear White Light on Jul 06 2010 09:25:34 AM

Shanti

USA
4854 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2010 :  09:50:23 AM  Show Profile  Visit Shanti's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Sometimes just speaking it out (like you are doing here) helps.

I am clueless when it comes to drugs, and I know others here will chime in and give you good advice.

I don't know how marijuana affects one health wise. So hopefully it is not killing you like smoking does.

But my own experience with addictions is the more you think about wanting to quit, the stronger your addiction gets. Most addictions are at the mind level along with the chemical/substance additions. There are ways to get over the chemical addiction, but the mind image of.. ahhh one more high... will keep you bound to the addiction.

The one thing that really helps is to get high consciously. OK I don't even know how you intake marijuana ... but lets go with smoking... and you translate the process to the intake of marijuana. Before you light up there is the craving, the mind making stories on how awesome that first puff of smoke will feel going down the throat filling the lungs... so you light up, then as soon as you take the first puff, you are off to thinking about something else.

Now, when you smoke, stay completely with the process, feel and experience everything going on... the smell, the taste, the stuff getting absorbed into the blood stream, the heart beat getting higher, you will be surprised to see/feel so many things you never realized was going on. When you are completely present with smoking you realize it is not the smoking that makes you feel good... it's the process of thinking how wonderful the smoke will feel that keeps you smoking. Do it every time and see how the mind has actually made stories about how wonderful the highs really are, but how not true that picture is. Like any other mind story, when you see through it, the story loosens it's grip on the addiction and it can slowly have a chance to fall away.

If you read your post above, you will already see a bunch of mind stories that is there around you addiction. The labels, the justification... and yet since you speak about it here, somewhere inside you have the desire to let it go. Try being aware through the process... see what the mind is telling you before, during and after... don't judge yourself or your mind... just observe, identify and see the stories for what they are... stories of the wonders of the high... and identify the reality of the actual experience.

Also, keep the intention of wanting to quit, like samyama. The habit will fall away when the time is right.

Wish you all the best.
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tonightsthenight

846 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2010 :  11:19:21 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
hey there,

sounds like you're doing quite well these days. thats good to hear!


Cannabis is a good thing. Its a medicine, an amazing one in fact, and in my opinion we are just beginning to understand the importance it can have in terms of health. In 50 years, i believe that cannabis might be considered to be great sacrament.

High quality, organic cannabis is amazing stuff. It can assist you on the spiritual path, and lead you seek the Spirit. It can be a great friend in your path.

That being said, cannabis has its dark side. It is quite easy to become cannabis in order to experience our true blissful reality. Each person must be able to cultivate their own inner Light without cannabis eventually.

It is a great teacher, but eventual you graduate and you are no longer a student. When the time comes, you should let it go as you must do with all things. This may be easier than you think. When the time is right, it will not be too difficult to let go if you cultivate your spiritual self.

You probably sense that the day is coming. It is not here yet, however, because first there must be the time of going toward the event, and then the event itself.

So don't suffer too much over it. Try to treat it with total respect, and follow your heart!

good wishes
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Jo-self

USA
225 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2010 :  11:25:19 AM  Show Profile  Visit Jo-self's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Clear White Light:

According to drug dealers and their workers, the users, marijuana is not physically addictive. Funny that was said that about cigarettes too.

I have my own bias against drug use, due to my having witnessed many people get sidetracked by it, especially with marijuana. So, I couldn't offer objective insights. What I am happy is that you seem to be functioning very well, and I hope you continue to explore your use of this drug, whether you really need to use it or not, that is.

My own belief is that recreational drug use and spiritual practice are antithetical. Through practice your brain will produce the drugs it needs in the correct amount (and no accidental contaminations with angel dust and other things). Yea, I know some ancient stuff where drugs were part of it practice; I'm sure that will help me when I travel back in time.

I've of course gotten high with it. It doesn't compare with even a small glimpse of Wakefulness. I don't need it and won't ever use it. Its a shame that via reasons of income generation, hype, fashion, bogus medical use and other reasons it is wending its way into legitimate use in the USA. What next opium dens, you know people have to relax after work?
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karl

United Kingdom
1812 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2010 :  2:40:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Funny thing is dependency. It can only be judged by the one with the dependency.

It's difficult to work with, even when the dependent is killing themselves in the process they have a hard time giving it up.

Also depends on you 'wanting/needing' to give up the thing. You need to be 100% comitted and have a real goal in mind which will be of benefit. Why do you want to give it up ?

First off is admitting it isn't a habit, but an addiction. Calling it a habit takes the weight off. Admitting "I am an addict" gets the things into perspective.

Start working from the perspective of an addict and you can begin to set down how you can get to a point where you visualise yourself doing something else instead and let a healthier habit take it's place.

It takes time so you need to be prepared for the longhaul and accept that you will have setbacks, infact give yourself permission to have them, work them into your plan because it helps you to know there are little get out clauses.

Reward yourself when you have overcome an especially difficult situation which would have lead to the taking of the drug by having something else which is healthy.

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Kirtanman

USA
1651 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2010 :  7:23:35 PM  Show Profile  Visit Kirtanman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Clear White Light,

Cool post; thanks.



First, I'd say finding out if you're actually addicted to anything is pretty easy, really: just stop doing it (whatever the "it" is) for two weeks. Chances are pretty good that you'll have a fairly clear sense of whether or not addiction on any level is actually present within a few days.

I'm just tossing that out, per your statement about wondering if you're addicted; it's a fairly sure-fire test, actually.



I'd say, however, that the true key to the entire matter is this:

The issue (as Shanti pointed out) isn't your smoking of marijuana, but your thoughts about it, that are at the source of any perceived issue, here.

Per your major positive upswing in life, in recent times, if you did feel moved to stop smoking for whatever reason, chances are pretty good that you'd find it easier than your conditioned thoughts may tell you.

On the other hand, some rather advanced yogis, ranging from Ram Dass, to many thousands of sadhus in India, to many other spiritual people around the world, don't experience any conflict between their yogic path and using marijuana.

And so, please just note:

*Your concern about addiction is based in thinking.

*Your sense of dependence, if there is such, on marijuana use, again, per Shanti's comments, is based in thinking as well, and can be adjusted via both full presence and full acceptance.

*Your sense that smoking marijuana might not be good to have in your life is based in thinking.

And I could keep going, but we can just cut to the chase, I think:

*ALL problems, suffering, confusion and concern are based in evaluative thinking.

What's the reality?

You smoke marijuana, presumably daily or so. Yes?

Life has gotten far, far better in recent times, in your experience, yes?

That seems to be about it, in terms of the actuality.

Everything else is based in evaluative thinking (all the ideas surrounding "to smoke, or not to smoke" "addiction, or enjoyable part of my day?", etc.)

When we each and all lose our addiction to evaluative thinking, everything else resolves itself by itself, just fine, I've found (and observed).



And, by the way: please note --- I'm not saying that marijuana addiction may not be present for you; only you can make that determination.

If you do make the determination that addiction is present, you can take applicable action.

Or you can keep smoking.

Or whatever.

My main point is/was --- whatever you determine, and whatever course of actions you feel drawn to, or not, going "either way" (continuing smoking marijuana; cutting down; stopping; going into rehab; smoking more marijuana; smoking if you do, and not thinking about it otherwise, etc. etc. etc.) ----- can ALL be managed just fine without the undue thinking and concern.

Thinking and concern muck up the clarity of intuition meeting action, and suck up a vast amount of life energy in the process.

As LIVE sings:

"Rest easy, baby; rest easy; recognize it all as light and rainbows and be happy."

& as Anthony De Mello said:

"All is well."

And it is.

Whether you smoke marijuana or you don't.

Actuality is always just fine.

Evaluation is the only problem-making tool any of us have; the sooner we lose it, the happier we are; funny thing.



I hope this is useful.

Wholeheartedly,

Kirtanman

PS- If, six months from now, you're thirty pounds heavier, sitting around enjoying a Cheetos-based diet and your primary activity in life is giggling at commercials, you may wish to re-evaluate the whole marijuana-thing afresh.

PPS- Bet I just described a few of your friends, huh?



Edited by - Kirtanman on Jul 06 2010 7:25:49 PM
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manigma

India
1065 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2010 :  02:57:35 AM  Show Profile  Visit manigma's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Somehow reminds of this dialogue from the movie 'Exorcism of Emily Rose'. The story of Emily is exactly my story. The only difference that my Exorcism was successful and I didn't kill myself.

Dr.: She was lucid and she was completely aware of this separate entity inside her. When she wasn't in his grip, she was totally herself, completely normal. The awareness of her alternate mental state is counter indicative of psychosis.

Erin: Crazy people don't know they're crazy.


http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_...-script.html

You are doing pretty good. Just continue with the practices and things will settle down soon.

You might drop this habit/addiction or go beyond body itself that such things won't matter any longer.
quote:
Originally posted by Clear White Light
If anything, I feel as though my desire to use it has actually increased, even while other desires are consistently decreasing.


A flame blazes high one last time before it extinguishes completely.
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thimus

53 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2010 :  08:35:19 AM  Show Profile  Visit thimus's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
During summer i grow my own weed; I use it only when I am at ease, evenings when reading or playing guitar.
Some people that I know, use it on every hour of the day (but they use what ever they can get).
Here is a video about how wonderfull this weed can be:

http://www.hemp.tv/refer.asp?refid={65868235-8D91-4AF2-9E19-737406515CF1}&link=hemp-revolution.html&campaign=Hempdottv-0610

My only negative expierence is that the mind is at "full speed". The positive side:it makes me see things in an brighter, fresher, new light.
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thimus

53 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2010 :  08:38:47 AM  Show Profile  Visit thimus's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
http://hemp.tv/hemp-revolution.html
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tonightsthenight

846 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2010 :  10:22:48 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I would like to respond to those posters that have nothing positive to say about cannabis.

First off, please refer to it by its correct name, cannabis.

Cannabis is not for everyone, but i tell you from experience that it is a friend on the path. Its medical use is hardly "bogus", unless you discount both anecdotal and scientific evidence completely.

As with anything, too much of it can be a negative thing.

The comment about cannabis not comparing at all to the inner light of wakefulness is off the mark. Cannabis can help people to find the inner light. It is not the light, but it is one way of many that can be used, if used as a sacrament, to find the light.

I urge you not to slander what you do not understand.

On another note, addiction is hardly understood. One cannot compare cannabis addiction to alcohol addiction or nicotine addiction. All three are completely different. The body does not become addicted to cannabis, but cannabis can easily become a crutch used to cultivate the inner light. When that happens, it is time to let it go, and find the light on your own.

May i also say that, aside from the great medical potential of cannibinoids (found in cannabis), THC is basically an analogue of anandamide, a substance that is endogenous to the body. So that, if used properly can indeed enhance one's practice and bhakti.

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Clear White Light

USA
229 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2010 :  10:26:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I really appreciate all your comments. You have all given me a lot to think about. One thing that I have realized is that I often times let my judgment get the best of me. I often find myself being extremely judgmental, especially regarding my self. As for quitting for two weeks, I have done this many times. Sometimes simply due to circumstance (couldn't locate any, no extra money etc). If I have been using it daily for an extended period of time I tend to go through a brief period of slight agitation, but it passes and I acclimate. I realized how much I was letting other people's thoughts and feelings about what I was doing influence me. If I'm addicted to anything, it's more likely my tendency to think and evaluate things. It is so easy to get drawn into a downward spiral of thoughts sometimes, especially when people around you are contributing to it.

Edited by - Clear White Light on Jul 07 2010 10:52:25 AM
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JDH

USA
331 Posts

Posted - Jul 08 2010 :  03:33:52 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi CWL, and all,

You are on to something there. I've always loved smoking marijuana in very small doses. And have occasionally had periods of heavy smoking (which are always due to smoking "socially") which I haven't enjoyed so much. While it was nice to share the drug with fellow users, there's just no way around the fact that it adds up to too much use.

Less is more with marijuana. That is the key. Tolerance is a real thing. Dependency is a real thing. It's not 100% about judgments and getting caught in mind-evaluations. You might not be addicted, but you definitely experience tolerance. It is a physical reality of the situation. Forget about addiction. Learn to observe tolerance. Learn to observe dependency. When the body and mind are clear of all marijuana and metabolites, one puff is truly a psychedelic spiritual sacrament. On the other end of the spectrum, smoking it every day reduces the beautiful sacrament down to a basic drug dependency, a disability, a crutch.

Marijuana metabolites have a very slow accumulation and elimination rate in the body. That is, tolerance builds slowly (if you get high for the first time, it will work again the next day). And withdrawal takes a long time. If you smoke regularly, it takes about 2 months of total abstinence to clear it from your system. This also means it takes about 2 months of regular smoking to arrive at a point of "saturation" shall we say. It creeps so slowly that on the way up, you can hardly notice the negative effects building, and on the way down, you can hardly notice that you're clearing out. But if you look back a month at a time, the changes are obvious. From your posts, it seems like you have bounced back and forth on this spectrum at least a few times. When you're on one side, there is a desire to quit. On the other side, marijuana is so obviously a wonderful thing.

Most users never completely clear out before they smoke again. An analogy would be if you always started drinking before your hangover ended. The only difference is that marijuana's "hangover" lasts 1-2 months depending on how much you smoke, and that you can't feel the "hangover" after a week or so, you just need to trust that it's still there from experience.

Zoom out. Use the growing awareness of the process to step outside of the spectrum. Find the maximum dose of this spiritual medicine that is right for you. Between one hit per month and one hit per week, there will be a minor tolerance. More than one hit per week will be moving into the realm of minor dependence. I really recommend cleaning out first, and approaching this dose from the cleaned out side, rather than from the dependent side.

Edited by - JDH on Jul 08 2010 04:05:06 AM
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Jo-self

USA
225 Posts

Posted - Jul 11 2010 :  8:48:09 PM  Show Profile  Visit Jo-self's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by tonightsthenight
Its medical use is hardly "bogus", unless you discount both anecdotal and scientific evidence completely.



Not to belabor the point or advertise my ignorance, but the smoked form of cannabis is probably more harmful then beneficial. I'm all for the medical use of cannabis, but I disagree with "sneaking" in recreational use of cannabis under the guise of medicine.

BTW, not too long someone on the forum said you can't get a contact high from pot smoking, and then he proceeded to give the ppm details. I got one, rather I felt a change in my cognitive mode. Hence I am healthy skeptic.

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lokipuna

USA
10 Posts

Posted - Jul 11 2010 :  10:11:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit lokipuna's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Clear White Light Best wishes with your growth. I have to align with Jo-Self in that your use is counter productive to your practice. I was in very much a similar position almost forty years ago. Until I let go of the pot use I was stunted in my growth socially, educationaly and professionally. The real addiction in my experience is strictly psychological rather than physical. That being said, with mindfulness and a steady practice you can find your way.
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woosa

United Kingdom
382 Posts

Posted - Jul 12 2010 :  08:18:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I smoked it solidly when I was a student. The best way for me to get off it was to exercise.

You know you are killing yourself with all the crap you are inhaling. I did an Army assault course and got debilitating chest pains after 10 seconds, couldn't get my breath, really worrying. I was 19. Then I spent some years exercising and coughing up all sorts of ugly stuff. I feel a lot better now.

If you grow it yourself fair enough. But if you get it from a dealer you don't know what sh*t they spray on the it. Here in the UK there are stories that glass frosting is sprayed on it to make it slightly heavier! Tasty.

To add to this my concentration was shot; I had to re-read everything to get it. I was lazy and paranoid!

I know I sound terse, but I get annoyed when people say how wonderful it is. Getting it illegally funds criminals and it is safe to say the butterfly effect on everyone else is great.

Edited by - woosa on Jul 12 2010 10:20:28 AM
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - Jul 13 2010 :  2:33:21 PM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by woosa

I smoked it solidly when I was a student. The best way for me to get off it was to exercise.

You know you are killing yourself with all the crap you are inhaling. I did an Army assault course and got debilitating chest pains after 10 seconds, couldn't get my breath, really worrying. I was 19. Then I spent some years exercising and coughing up all sorts of ugly stuff. I feel a lot better now.

If you grow it yourself fair enough. But if you get it from a dealer you don't know what sh*t they spray on the it. Here in the UK there are stories that glass frosting is sprayed on it to make it slightly heavier! Tasty.

To add to this my concentration was shot; I had to re-read everything to get it. I was lazy and paranoid!

I know I sound terse, but I get annoyed when people say how wonderful it is. Getting it illegally funds criminals and it is safe to say the butterfly effect on everyone else is great.



I find your post was not very helpful in addressing CWL's dilemma. You went way off topic by taking the matter away from his concern about marijuana use relating to his practice. Marijuana is not 'dangerous' like other drugs in the sense of being commonly laced/sprayed with highly harmful/deadly chemicals. I've smoked it for half of my 26 years with some off years and have never run across a strain of pot that I felt had caused irreparable damage to my health.

I can't say how happy I am that someone decided to create a thread based around this topic. I could have written CWL's entire first post on my own, relating pot's effects to social life, education, and the path. I'm in your situation.

CWL you are definitely on the path with your practices. I don't think you will be in a position where your pot use will stop you from practicing yoga, and the whole situation should eventually clear itself up through the influence of inner wisdom. It could take years. I've been practicing yoga for 5 years, ayp practices for 3, and I've been smoking a couple times a day lately. I have the same inner desire to quit, but I don't like to struggle with myself and often just give in, feeling I am making some mistakes. I find it is possible to resolve from each mishap each time and try and do better.
I wish you luck and hope you will find a balance with your use, even if it means stopping.
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Clear White Light

USA
229 Posts

Posted - Jul 13 2010 :  4:48:18 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:

I can't say how happy I am that someone decided to create a thread based around this topic. I could have written CWL's entire first post on my own, relating pot's effects to social life, education, and the path. I'm in your situation.

CWL you are definitely on the path with your practices. I don't think you will be in a position where your pot use will stop you from practicing yoga, and the whole situation should eventually clear itself up through the influence of inner wisdom. It could take years. I've been practicing yoga for 5 years, ayp practices for 3, and I've been smoking a couple times a day lately. I have the same inner desire to quit, but I don't like to struggle with myself and often just give in, feeling I am making some mistakes. I find it is possible to resolve from each mishap each time and try and do better.
I wish you luck and hope you will find a balance with your use, even if it means stopping.




No I don't think marijauna use would ever interfere with my practice either. If anything it has aided me in getting as deep into my practice as I have. When I think of the frame of mind I was in when I originally wrote this thread, I realize how much I was allowing the judgments of others to affect me. It is definitely true that I am overindulgent with my pot smoking at times. This is clear to me. Another thing that is clear is that I'm on a good path regardless of whether I smoke or not. I'm not in danger of falling into some kind of serious drug addiction, or moving up to "harder stuff." I'm certainly not physically unhealthy because of it. To be honest, I don't know if I can even say that I am more indulgent with my marijuana use than I am other things.

I feel more confident that things will eventually work themselves out now. I always did feel that way, but like I said, sometimes the judgments of others can get to you.

I'm glad that others may be benefiting from this thread. It certainly has brought out a lot of divergent opinions. This is a good thing.

Edited by - Clear White Light on Jul 13 2010 4:51:46 PM
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woosa

United Kingdom
382 Posts

Posted - Jul 14 2010 :  7:12:21 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Sorry I didn't mean to get peoples back's up.

I just thought with you wanting to drop it, I was being motivational with my experience.

I don't think I will embark a career in self help books!

Whatever you do mate, it is up to you and no one else.
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Anakletos4

USA
14 Posts

Posted - Jul 15 2010 :  08:22:01 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
In order to cut down my internal desire for smoking, I meditate upon the desire itself. Eventually, it "blinks" away and I wake up, with every effect the desire had on my personality gone.

But I love cannabis. I love how it calms down my erratic kundalini. I love the experiences I've had on them. I love doing yoga and asanas after meditating upon the feeling that cannabis gives me.

Oh Shiva :)

I guess I'm lucky. Anyone who wants to smoke with an active kundalini should focus on ridding themselves of the desire to smoke. Once the desire is gone, you get MUCH higher, and gain much more stability in your Ajna and Crown chakras.

If you smoke foolishly, you will find your Crown overexposing other chakras, your Vishuddhi closed, and an obvious pain in-and-around Ajna.

In order to bypass the hit on short-term memory, I recommend Ginkgo and Ginseng.

Ginseng, as a stimulant, helps motivate you and rids you of any laziness associated with the high. Ginkgo boosts blood flow to your brain, which can help center and stabilize your awareness in your crown.

Experience Sahasrara :) If you've practiced deep meditation, or understand how to control your Kundalini with ease, then you'll find

Cannabis to be a tool that turns on deep meditation and PUMPS your light :). It's a delightful upgrade to the experience of self-realization.
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AYPforum

351 Posts

Posted - Jul 15 2010 :  08:43:07 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement
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tonightsthenight

846 Posts

Posted - Jul 15 2010 :  10:27:19 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by SuperSunny



Experience Sahasrara :) If you've practiced deep meditation, or understand how to control your Kundalini with ease, then you'll find

Cannabis to be a tool that turns on deep meditation and PUMPS your light :). It's a delightful upgrade to the experience of self-realization.



amen

one more note: cannabis grown with good genetics, loving attention and organic fertilizer will trump any other drug experience. cannabis + kundalini can be a fantastic combination
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CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Jul 15 2010 :  12:01:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hey Everybody

I've tried to write a post in this thread several times since it was started, but each time I write one (usually very very long), I go back and read it before posting and find that I haven't been able to say what I wanted and scrap it. But, I'm going to try, yet again, to put out there my current feelings on marijuana addiction and the part marijuana can play in spiritual practice.

When I first came to AYP (I believe it was June of 2008) I was smoking a quarter ounce of marijuana everyday and had been for 15 years at the time. I was also selling large quanitites of marijuana and had been for well over a decade (to help support my expensive habit). I continued to smoke habitually up until January 10th 2010, although at some point I managed to cut down to smoking just an eighth ounce per day.

Here is what I have found in regards to marijuana and spiritual practice.....

-Tolerance is a major player in how helpful marijuana is with advanced yoga practices. What I have found, is that when there is a high tolerance to THC, smoking some marijuana before yoga practice can help to bring the focus inward, can assist in getting the most energetic benefit out of asana practice and can help to quiet the mind for meditation practice. Now, without any tolerance to THC, smoking marijuana before yoga practice can incredibly increase the energy flow (especially to the ajna), can actually TAKE AWAY from the ability to bring the focus inward, and can make the mind MORE active, not less. I also find that the "inner lights" are drastically increased with marijuana use (when there is no or little tolerance) and this can be a big distraction to going deep in meditation.

-Marijuana can EASILY become a crutch when used regularly as an adjunct to spiritual practice. I found that part of the reason it was so hard to drop my marijuana addiction, even after about a year and a half of twice daily AYP practice (and even after dropping an 8 year opiate addiction), was because I felt that I wasn't going nearly as deep or getting nearly the benefits from my practices without smoking. But I knew that marijuana was being used as a crutch and I was suffering over this greatly because I really did want to be able to go deep without any external influence. Once I did manage to drop the marijuana addiction it took quite a while for the body to clean itself of the residual THC in the system and it took quite a while for me to be able to feel like I was "getting something" out of my yoga practices again. That said....dropping my need for marijuana before yoga practice and sticking with it despite not getting as much from my practices for a while was the best thing I could have done for myself. I highly recommend getting to a point where marijuana can be used as desired, but is not used because it is required.

In regards to getting to a point in which one can stop using marijuana habitually.....

Personally, I have very little advice other then what has already been said by others above. What I will reiterate is that it has to happen of it's own accord...this is not something that can be forced. It has to be part of a natural progression. Ever since I started AYP I was trying to quit. I would make it maybe one, two days max, before I would freak out and go buy some more (I can't have any or I will smoke it) and continue my habit....while totally suffering over it. The only way, in my experience, to drop a habit like this is to continue on with the practices, set an intention to stop habitual use, and let the chips fall where they may. This is what happened for me. I set the intention to get clean, used as needed, and continued my practices until one day (thank God/Grace/Source/Self/All), all of a sudden, I no longer needed it, and was no longer suffering because I didn't have it....and no longer suffering because I DID have it and could stop using it. Now, I am able to smoke when I desire (maybe a couple times a month with friends while golfing or out having a pint or something) but leave it at that, and not beat myself up over it. I don't find it very useful anymore for a "yoga practice stimulant" so I rarely ever use it before I practice. I find it distracting and too energetically stimulating. But that's just me.

I quite agree with Kirtanman's above post in that the suffering over using marijuana is all because of believing specific thoughts about our use. Labeling ourselves as "addicts", wanting to stop but being unable to, thinking (and believing) that your yoga practice will never be the same without it etc etc etc. Once we can drop all the thoughts about our use, the need to use and the suffering around using will fall away on it's own.

I have a lot more I could say about this topic, but I'm going to leave it for now. Hope this was helpful in some way. Best of luck. Surrender to the process and it will all work out as it should. Fighting reality just prolongs and embeds our suffering.

Love!

Edited by - CarsonZi on Jul 15 2010 12:07:08 PM
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porcupine

USA
193 Posts

Posted - Aug 08 2010 :  07:03:04 AM  Show Profile  Visit porcupine's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
its been said before, when you are really awake its all just light going into light... life is meant to be enjoyed
if its not causing any problems in your life why stop unless you just want to
the sacred ness herb is considered a great sacrament in many communities, but I think yes, the concept of ness is ever changing it is in every plant and every person, it changes forms, it moves with us, or we with it...
so its not just like herb, but that is one way of living your life
i think its good to support as a general ideological cause because of the perception opening it does even spontaneously for those who otherwise would not have sat down to meditate, and it just is a lot less pretentious in some perceptions, but does it really matter?
i think cannabis has so many benefits in the medical realm that the more people are aware of it the better, it needs to be legalized for these purposes, and even recreational and spiritual purposes. It has been found to cure cancer, by rick simpson, and chris conrad in his book hemp for health speaks of many other illnesses it cures or aids with like glaucoma, a number of mental maladies, multiple schlerosis, there really are a wide range of things i dont have the book by my side at the present but when you look at it, you realize what a shame it is that the plant is not being researched or in many cases even utilized by doctors when it is the best medication simply because of politics which in some cases i believe are entirely imagined.

It has a strong history of use in Ayurvedic medicine, Chinese Medicine, European medicine, and African medicine, we seem to forget how wide spread its use was as medicine before the legal issues came up...

it is mentioned as a plant with fibers that are suitable to make paper and wood from, which is unique, since its fairly quick growing annually, as opposed to trees which take many years, and are so very beautiful (not to say that the hemp plant itself is not beautiful on the contrary)

of course there are groups who have even deified the plant itself like the Canthiests, in which the herb has inspired a shamanistic and animistic worldview which is similar to many of the old religions

like Dionysians with their wine and alcohol (or other things)

because brains have been found to have receptors that correspond pretty much exactly with the cannaboid molecules, it seems like it was meant to be, almost like a missing puzzle peice

this of course corresponds to the idea of the entire world being our body, we are continuous with it, indeed, literally, of course how could it be any other way? its this realization that is really very liberating to the soul

when i think about the world as a whole i dont see how more openness and ease about its uses and growth would have any detrimental effect, i really believe it would bring a lot more people together, and bring about more peacefulness especially if its made legal because it stops being associated with people who perhaps also work with more dangerous and truly addictive substances like heroin and cocaine

also reintroducing it to areas which are now barren would make it easier for them to grow with life again, because of the root structure of the plant, it moistens the soil and makes it palatable for other growth to return (this is Chris Conrad's theory)

for these reasons i see a great service in making people aware of the true properties of cannabis, the tree of so many names, for its environmental help and also the alleviation of so much unnecessary suffering among people throughout the world


not even going to the spiritual lessons it can bestow if approached with the right intention and respect, and combined with meditation especially in the beginning of use, it can really take you somewhere else, and its possible to really have a real experience with it contrary to what is commonly heard unless you know where to look, but in a way this is good because you realize certain fundamental truths that just can't be told, you just have to experience it and know for yourself,
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delta33

Canada
100 Posts

Posted - Aug 09 2010 :  03:25:21 AM  Show Profile  Visit delta33's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Clear White Light

I'm pretty embarrassing to have to admit, but I often question whether I am addicted to marijuana.


an honest statement -- thx for sharing!

quote:
Originally posted by Clear White Light

But one thing that I haven't let go of at all is marijuana use, even though I have much more clarity regarding it now. It is definitely a huge crutch for me, but on the other hand I can also think of many good things it has brought me. Of course, that can always be countered with the thought that those "good things" would be even "better" if they could be arrived at without marijuana. I've always felt like the habit would just kind of naturally drop away from me like most other things have when practicing meditation. This hasn't happened though.


same here

i know these AYP spiritual practices are having a positive affect on my life because people make random statements about my personality affirming some of the fruits we are cultivating here (patience, kindness, compassion).. yet i continue to use marijuana

when i try quitting weed for awhile, i get wound right up like the rest of society until i smoke it again, at which time i remember, "riiiight.. i remember why i do this" -- and sometimes i wish it wasn't this way (using a crutch to cope with reality), but it *IS*

oddly enough, i find myself doing a lot of pranayam and meditation under the influence.. hemp really does amplify energetic effects, at least for me.. carson's right though, about the increased noise

and pot does take away my dreams -- this is a side effect i dislike


quote:
Originally posted by SuperSunny

In order to bypass the hit on short-term memory, I recommend Ginkgo and Ginseng.

Ginseng, as a stimulant, helps motivate you and rids you of any laziness associated with the high. Ginkgo boosts blood flow to your brain, which can help center and stabilize your awareness in your crown.


very interesting -- thx for this tip, SuperSunny!

quote:
Originally posted by Clear White Light

If anything, I feel as though my desire to use it has actually increased, even while other desires are consistently decreasing. I've actually been celibate for nearly 4 months now, but I can't seem to come to a place where I want to stop getting high.


tantra and cannabis is.. pretty interesting

quote:
Originally posted by Clear White Light

I feel a real struggle about this and I guess I'm just looking to vent a little.


that's just fine.. what happens if you let go of the struggle?

quote:
Originally posted by Clear White Light

Perhaps it did in the past, but I've been moving in positive directions for a while now whether I'm using marijuana or not. That makes me think that maybe it's not so bad..


there's a book called "autobiography of a blue eyed yogi" which is an excellent read about an american kid who runs away to india to become a yogi.. anyways, it seems as though most of those indian sages smoke hemp.. they even grow it themselves

they have just one admonishment: "don't smoke too many chillams"

how much is too many? i think this is a personal choice

so... i'm thru feeling guilty about it.. if smoking weed is supposed to fall away from my life at some point, then it will

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Akasha

421 Posts

Posted - Aug 09 2010 :  6:19:28 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I think once you start living healthily and purifying your body/self on all levels i think addictions ,certainly unhealthy ones,do tend to give up on you,fall away natuurally & without any effort,just like Shanti said.

I think you can acheive higher "highs" or states without putting substances in to your system ,through natural means like yoga, rather than artifical stimulants ,or depressants as the case may be, or temporary "mind-expanders" like hallucinogens, that may offer some spiritual benefits...But again some folk want to find that out for them self.An addiction is like K said- upon it's withdrawal, a habit or whatever, you generally feel worse.

I would say marjuana is psychologically addictive, like cocaine.I only came to this conclusion after about ten years of usage,years ago now. I might still have a puff if someone offered it to me,i.e a joint, but i would'nt go out & buy it.Have not done that in so many years. I think it can stimluate you creatively and intellectually ,getting alternate pathways flowing but alot of usage for me would generaly dulls my mind and makes me unproductive..Perhaps i would find it...well boring.

I would'nt say it is not addictive though.It took me years to accept for me it was psychologically addictive.I more or less stopped buying it when iwas about 23-24.And i probably started at about 13-14 along with psychedelics as that was the culture i was brought up in.My best mate's mum and close neighbour sold it for a start. We'd sit around at his house after school and then buy some off her when we had run out.And listen to bob marley and so forth.Trip out on old vinyl sleeves,play back-gammon perhaps and just well gouche,vegatate,be stoned.And then i got into 'E's' during univeristy.And the harder stuff,heroin,after univeristy.And they say they are not gateway drugs.Well does not really matter.I think my mind was still opened although in some sense i did'nt need to take or experience them,certainly to lead a fulflling life. Maybe that's too much information.I dunno. But it think it's all about making informed helpful choices that serve you wherever you are or happen to find yourself right now, in the moment.Personally i don't need drugs or feel i gain any benefit from that.I feel i've covered that ground well & truly and no need to re-live or re-visit again and again. But that is just me.Where i am at,right now.

To be honest i feel one kind-of outgrows drugs, or hopefully. They quickly stopp offering up any useful insights beyond those possibly gained already. Psychedlecis is in a speial categoryi think of it's won. But even with those i would say they are still optional.So i'm not against drugs. But having experiemented and used my fair share in my time, i don't find them useful anymore,or certainly that much.

I think you can get to much more enlightened states without them. I think they tend to cloud your awarness and judgement & perspective rather than enhance it.

I've out-grown them,certainly marjuana a long time ago.

Edited by - Akasha on Aug 09 2010 7:28:25 PM
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Shivoham

India
107 Posts

Posted - Aug 10 2010 :  11:45:55 AM  Show Profile  Visit Shivoham's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
We had a big discussion about this in www.yogaforums.com
This must give you enough info
http://www.yogaforums.com/forums/f1...ht=marijuana
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