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 Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development
 married life versus celibate life
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nearoanoke

USA
525 Posts

Posted - Sep 11 2005 :  1:47:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
AYP suggests that one "need not" remain unmarried to make progress. But is a householder life definitely better than a celibate life? Or are both equal?

If a person in AYP has to decide to get married or stay alone what do you suggest him? In my view I would be doing more damage getting married than staying unmarried. Now being a bachelor the only temptation i have is mas*u*bation. But if I get married I have more chances of losing my energy which can affect my progress.

All the tantra practices that i could with a partner i can do alone in mas*u*bation. correct?. Then what are the advantages of married life that make it better than a sanyasins life?

One advantage that i see is in married life you will have somebody to love which makes you less unselfish. But being a sanyasin i can chose to spend most of my salary on charity which can make me less unselfish too.

I appreciate your views on this topic

-Near







God might not always give you what you WANT, but he will always give you what you NEED

Edited by - nearoanoke on Sep 11 2005 5:31:25 PM

lucidinterval1

USA
193 Posts

Posted - Sep 11 2005 :  6:30:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello Near,
I do not think that remaining single or getting married should affect AYP. Yogani, I believe is married. But marriage shouldn't be based on yogic practices unless you want to go meditate in a cave for the rest of your life. Marriage is something that you do because you know that it is right for your relationship with your partner.

Marriage is a true sacrifice. If it is to be successful then there is alot of giving and sacrifice. It is about unconditional love, and like you said it should make you less selfish, which does your soul good.

As for the Tantric aspect. Having a partner or not having a partner shouldn't matter much. You still control your seed - if your partner is willing.

As for your salary, well... you will probably have less control of it if you want to keep everyone happy....

Really, only you can answer if marriage is right for you. Meditate on it and see what your higher self tells you. Like Yogani says "the Guru is in You". AYP works regardless if you decide to marry or remain single. Have I confused you yet?

With Peace and Respect,
Paul
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nearoanoke

USA
525 Posts

Posted - Sep 11 2005 :  7:37:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi paul,

Generally if you have a partner there is more temptation and hence more chances to lose the seed. isnt it? I am thinking about that aspect in deciding to get married. Apart from the temptation aspect, the chances of finding a partner who is willing to co-operate in tantric aspects are very low.

What are the advantages over the above disadvantages that make marriage a better option than a sanyasin life (with respect to yoga).

Also one small clarification- I am talking from eastern/indian point of view of marriage where it is arranged marriage. So for me it is deciding to marry or remain unmarried. In the western view it is similar to a decision like whether you want to have a girlfriend or not. (i know here the relation happens first and marriage might or might not happen.)


-Near






God might not always give you what you WANT, but he will always give you what you NEED
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lucidinterval1

USA
193 Posts

Posted - Sep 12 2005 :  2:57:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
An arranged marriage is a topic that I'm afraid I have no valid position on. I think, once again, that you should perhaps meditate on this and see what your heart tells you.
Paul
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david_obsidian

USA
2602 Posts

Posted - Sep 12 2005 :  3:00:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply

Hello Near,

>>Apart from the temptation aspect, the chances of finding a partner who is willing to co-operate in tantric aspects are very low.

Im not so sure this is true at all.... at least not in my experience.

Where do you live now, by the way, in Southern India still, or do you live in the Western World?

If you are going to be a yogi and are going to get married, you might want to consider finding a woman who is "into it" in some sort of way.

But even if she is not into Yoga, being with a tantric man can be nice for a woman. I mean, tantric sex is the exact opposite of wham-bam-thankyou-mam.

-David

quote:
Originally posted by nearoanoke

Hi paul,

Generally if you have a partner there is more temptation and hence more chances to lose the seed. isnt it? I am thinking about that aspect in deciding to get married. Apart from the temptation aspect, the chances of finding a partner who is willing to co-operate in tantric aspects are very low.

What are the advantages over the above disadvantages that make marriage a better option than a sanyasin life (with respect to yoga).

Also one small clarification- I am talking from eastern/indian point of view of marriage where it is arranged marriage. So for me it is deciding to marry or remain unmarried. In the western view it is similar to a decision like whether you want to have a girlfriend or not. (i know here the relation happens first and marriage might or might not happen.)


-Near






God might not always give you what you WANT, but he will always give you what you NEED

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nearoanoke

USA
525 Posts

Posted - Sep 12 2005 :  10:51:35 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
yeah david that makes sense.






God might not always give you what you WANT, but he will always give you what you NEED
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