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julied
USA
19 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 18 2007 : 4:27:43 PM
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Hello Yogani and community,
Would you help me please find any of Yogani's writings or other postings on voices heard during my twice-daily practice?
I am not abusing the practice, and I am well-read and familiar with much of your writings and work. Just that I feel like I imagine a parent might feel with an angry teen-age opposite sex child - and I feel helpless about the right best course of action. I feel worried about causing myself psychic-spiritual harm, I feel worried about my attention whether it's too much or too little. I just feel so concerned for what... the actual WELFARE of a voice I only hear??
The voice I hear is one, recognizable, and different from my own inner voice - different from a voice of religious figures like manifestations of Shakti, Buddhas, shamanic death-figures, etc. This voice simultaneously loves me dearly and pushes me away so harshly - is happy to see me and check in on me, and is constantly lecturing me and/or delivering ultimatums.
I've taken several routes:
of ignoring voice,
of telling myself I've made up the voice as a salve to my loneliness,
of begging the voice to have calm and peace,
of loving voice's presence and accepting,
of shielding and cutting off voice,
of plainly letting voice know I miss parts of his conversations, and so please don't be so mad-strident-firm, etc...
In the end all I know is I felt miserable one day when I sat to meditate and the voice was gone in a way that was very very gone. I cried and cried. Over the next few days he came back and has been back in a greatly muted, far away way. I despair of this love-hate going on forever, and honestly - sometimes I don't look forward to my twice-daily sitting because somewhere in the midst, his voice will come on strong and be like an actual person in the room pummeling me with words.
I still hear the voice here and there during other times of day too, especially when I dream and am in-between states, when I am deep in focus in some work. Just that my question is on my twice-daily practice... do I have some right to expect that to be quiet???
Sincerely, Julie |
Edited by - julied on Nov 18 2007 4:30:48 PM |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2007 : 7:45:15 PM
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Hi Julie,
Welcome to the forum.
One of the first things that comes to mind when reading your post is wondering about the balance within your practices? You mention you are not abusing the practice, but sometimes it can only take a little too much practice time to be on the "over" side of the equation. Is this a possibility for you?
The second question that comes to mind is whether this voice has been there since the beginning of your AYP practices, before AYP or is it something that has "popped up" after practicing for some time?
In the interest of helping you with this situation and not knowing your background, it would also be pertinent to know if you are combining AYP with any other type of spiritual exercises, medications or drugs?
Finally, from reading your post, you seem to be of two minds about the voice. You indicate that you want the voice to be quiet, but you also don't seem to want the voice to go? Perhaps resolving this within yourself and being clear with your intent will help you?
Best wishes to you,
A
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2007 : 10:30:21 PM
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A -
Yes this voice has been here now with me for years. No, there is no "little too much practice time" for me. No, there is no possibility of my being on the "over" side of the equation.
I first would only hear this voice during intentional dream-vision work, before I learned of AYP. I started journeying work being primarily visual only, and in the exploration of bringing more of my senses to play I very gradually began to increase audiological 'amperage'. For me to have an audio portion during my meditative practice is no different nor any new cause for concern as it is for any of you (and myself) having visual components of blue lights, OBEs, etc. It's still all just jhanas, yes?
What I am asking here is to be guided to any teachings or postings on the topic. I wonder if my expectation for quiet is problematic. I hear this voice I speak of to a loud degree for several minutes or even all the period during my twice-daily practices - and it never persecutory. If anything I seem to have a largely persistent and genuinely caring spirit teacher.
I don't necessary agree that it's pertinent to know my background, what all possibly spiritual and/or non-spiritual combinations I might be engaged in, any medications or drugs I might be taking. That I have deliberate other-world engagement and clearly can express that I know it is not of this plane nor this physical reality is sufficient enough to move forward to the spiritual being I am without all the story and trappings of modern life, to move forward with addressing my intention to relax, rather than worry, about something that seems beyond simply wishing it away. Yet since you are likely not the only one to jump to mild concerns of madness in me, no - I am not pill-popping, drugging, traumatized, labeled, trancing out or adding anything whatsover to my AYP twice-daily practice. I believe in the body of work that Yogaini has put forward and I do not seek to modify it in any way.
Yes I am of two minds about the voice, and yes my being clear with my intention has everything to do with the reality I experience in the world. Definitely. Your suggestion that I "resolve this within myself" and "being clear with my intent" are well enough - beyond looking here for posts and writings that may have already been written on the topic, do you have any other suggestions on resolving and securing clarity? My greatest success with the voice so far has simply been to own it, and to do my best to see my meditation as coexisting with another's.
I imagine it is possible that simply my expectation to be alone is what is being unraveled.
Julie |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 02:18:56 AM
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Julie, Welcome to the forum.
I have met people in the same situation as you. I'm sorry to say, I have not found any writings on AYP that is helpful in cases like this. I know it has been discussed in the forum, but I can't remember the threads right now. Just want to make one thing clear: The following post will contain a psychiatric perspective, but that has only got to do with my background, not yours since I know nothing about that.
I may be prosecuted by the world of science for the following post, but having gone from working within the psychiatric care for many years (also having been a patient myself) having written a thesis in the area of psychology/public health and later on having switched over greatly to the spiritual world, this is my contribution to you:
What I have found helpful is this perspective:
1) When you start to open up to the spiritual world, you open up to lots of different "energy frequencies". Everything basically is energy, and our physical world is very low frequent. Spirit is very high frequent. In many of the realms between you find masses of phenomena vibrating on different frequencies. Sometimes entities (energy blobs of different kinds) can be percieved to "hook" themselves to you. They can be perceived as voices, pictures, feelings of somebody being present near you etc etc. The modern psychiatric care still defines this as "disease" while it is actually all about an altered state of consciousness.
2) A deeper understanding has grown; what has come to my understanding is that any of those seemingly separated "entities" that "hooks on you" is closely connected to your own inner affairs! The frequency you open up to is the frequency you vibrate on yourself at the moment. It is always something that has a connection to your past, which is trying to teach you something. What shows up are often carrying parts of your psychic unconscious that you do not dare to face yet, so you project it outside to "a voice from outside of me that enters me". That is not really true. It is a voice from your deepest self that is trying to show you something. Those who claim to have "deamons" scaring them are fighting their own fears. Those who claim to have someone who is giving them strict orders are probably very harsh towards themselves somehow, perhaps induced by a dominating parent and so on. Even in the psychiatric care it is now beginning to be understood that so called "halucinations" are actual, suppressed and distorted memories of something that has happened.
I have had similar things popping up, mostly as visions, not voices, and my way to solve them is to
- listen to it/look at it with curiosity
- see if the sense of it has any emotional colour (what does it awake in me - sorrow, anger, confusion etc)
- go into that feeling with acceptance and gratefulness, because it is showing me something that was hidden from me, a suppressed feeling
- if nothing clear comes: Talk to it. Ask in a friendly way who it is and what it wants! Be a detective! But be in command.
- love the voice/deamon/entity that is calling for attention
To "own it" as you say is a very good first step. Don't put it outside yourself. Love it, love it, love it. It want's to give you a gift. As long as you get disturbed by it, you are refusing to receive the gift and fully accept its message.
I don't know if this is of any help to you. I am sure you will find your own way
to deal with it. You always have all the answers inside of you. But this might trigger your thoughts in other directions...
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Edited by - emc on Nov 20 2007 3:42:53 PM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4380 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 05:42:15 AM
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Hi Julie,
Many people hear voices, and it is very common on the path of meditation, so I am sure you are not mad! The voices come from beings in different realms, in your case it sounds like it is just one being. In that sense you are lucky. I have a friend who hears the voices of many different beings at once, and sometimes they argue with each other! How bad is that? 
Unfortunately, I have only heard of two remidies for this situation. One is to ignore the voices. The other is to raise your own spiritual consciousness to a level where they simply won't disturb you.
The first is always recommended, as you simply don't know how much you can trust the voice. It could be giving you what sounds like really good advice, but is actually malevolent and acting against your best interests. The second takes a little time.
If I can find anything more helpful I will let you know.
Christi
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 05:55:53 AM
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"The other is to raise your own spiritual consciousness to a level where they simply won't disturb you."
Yes, that is one way. Agreed. Although, how is that done? How do you "raise your spiritual consciousness"? That is what my advice was all about. By daring to accept, explore and take in the emotional message that is sent by whatever being/energy thing visiting, un understanding often follows of what is to be realized of one's own patternings and conditioning, and that will bring you to a higher frequency. Sometimes the insight is not very clear, the disturbance is just erased by accepting it, fully, with your heart. Not by a mental decision "I accept it". That does not work. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4380 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 06:52:50 AM
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Hi EMC
quote:
Yes, that is one way. Agreed. Although, how is that done? How do you "raise your spiritual consciousness"? That is what my advice was all about.
And a woderful post it was too, thanks for that EMC.
quote:
if nothing clear comes: Talk to it. Ask in a friendly way who it is and what it wants! Be a detective! But be in command.
This was my favourite line. |
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yogani
USA
5195 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 08:51:29 AM
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Hi Julie, and welcome!
I don't recall any of the AYP lessons being specifically about relating to inner voices, unless having our divine savior ride up in a golden chariot to offer us a ride during practices counts. In that case, we just easily favor the practice we are doing. Our savior can wait until afterwards.
This is the formula for handling all experiences during practices, assuming our practice is stable and not causing excessive discomfort, particularly in daily activity between sessions, which is where the rubber of practices meets the road.
It is the same advice we give for all experiences occurring during practices, whether they be visual, auditory, physical, mental or emotional. Handling experiences during practices is covered from many angles in the lessons, and all of those situations could be regarded to be more or less analogous to your situation.
Practices are what produce our spiritual progress. Following experiences during practices does not produce significant spiritual progress, so we favor the practice while we are doing it. How we relate to visions, voices, energy experiences, etc. outside practices is another matter. That is our own business, and we will find our way with increasing inner silence and ecstatic radiance over time. If there is instability in daily activity resulting from our practices, then self-pacing should be applied accordingly.
If the AYP practices are helping our life to become better, this is the desired result. Then go out and live fully! But if practices are causing problems in daily activity, then we take responsibility for that and apply the best solutions that are available -- the methods of self-pacing, grounding, etc.
There are some discussions here in the forums on "voices," and you can find them by doing a search. Most of those are related to mental health issues, discussing whether or not practices would be an aid in those situations -- not an easy question to answer. But that seems not to be what you are asking about at this time.
EMC has offered some interesting perspectives on this from her experience. Something to consider outside practices. But while sitting, I suggest favoring the practice over the experiences, no matter what they may be. That applies to all of us.
Wishing you all the best on your path. Enjoy!
The guru is in you.
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 9:29:57 PM
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Dear julied,
I just read a book that amazingly addresses this topic. It is quite a scholarly book so it might be hard to wade through but worth it. It discusses these voices and why the brain produces them. It is called The Origin of Consciousness In the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind (quite a mouthful) by Julian Jaynes. Its premise is that ancient humans heard voices all the time and explains how that influenced civilization. He suggests that these ancient people believed it was God or gods speaking to them, as do some people today. I found it at our library but you may not be able to find it at yours. If not you can find it at Amazon.
Anyway, please don't think you are abnormal. Apparently as many as 25% of the population has heard some form of voice in their lifetime. I myself hear a voice occasionally, including a warning that I did not heed. As far as I have learned it is your right brain talking to you. We have two hemispheres to our brains and it can seem as if we are two different minds. The right brain is not linear like the "us" we are conditioned to believe is the only us. It is very intelligent but mostly intuitive. This makes interpretation difficult when we are looking for concrete answers. Both brains according to Jaynes are jealous of control. The right brain also is mostly non verbal but in the case of those who hear voices, the messages are being funneled through the verbal centers.
This is not to discount the gifts of the voices. I for one believe they are just that, a gift. Just not necessarily an infallible authority. We still need to use discernment.
Hope this helps. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2007 : 11:50:51 PM
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Originally posted by julied
quote:
For me to have an audio portion during my meditative practice is no different nor any new cause for concern as it is for any of you (and myself) having visual components of blue lights, OBEs, etc. It's still all just jhanas, yes?
Not a cause for concern no, however as Yogani points out above, it is best to treat it as "scenery" (like any experience when it comes up in practice) and to return to the task at hand, i.e. pranayama, the mantra etc.
quote:
What I am asking here is to be guided to any teachings or postings on the topic.
Sorry, I wasn't ignoring this, there aren't any of the main lessons that deal with this topic and I couldn't recall any forum posts that would be helpful.
quote:
I don't necessary agree that it's pertinent to know my background, what all possibly spiritual and/or non-spiritual combinations I might be engaged in, any medications or drugs I might be taking.
I agree, it may not be pertinent, I was asking because these things can sometimes open spiritual gateways and/ or amplify inner realities making them take on a greater significance in our perception of reality.
quote:
That I have deliberate other-world engagement and clearly can express that I know it is not of this plane nor this physical reality is sufficient enough to move forward to the spiritual being I am without all the story and trappings of modern life, to move forward with addressing my intention to relax, rather than worry, about something that seems beyond simply wishing it away. Yet since you are likely not the only one to jump to mild concerns of madness in me, no - I am not pill-popping, drugging, traumatized, labeled, trancing out or adding anything whatsover to my AYP twice-daily practice. I believe in the body of work that Yogaini has put forward and I do not seek to modify it in any way.
I think your intention to choose relaxation over worry is the way I would go as well. Concerns of mental illness were not in my mind when I wrote the above and I am also a believer in AYP.
quote:
Yes I am of two minds about the voice, and yes my being clear with my intention has everything to do with the reality I experience in the world. Definitely. Your suggestion that I "resolve this within myself" and "being clear with my intent" are well enough - beyond looking here for posts and writings that may have already been written on the topic, do you have any other suggestions on resolving and securing clarity?
I have come to observe that allowing and acceptance are key components in letting go and this applies to any thought, belief, emotional reaction or experience. Resisting thoughts, beliefs, emotional reactions and experiences is a sure way to keep them around. Clarity is our natural state and we know it when we are present in the here and now. Confusion comes from being lost in the labyrinth of thoughts that make up the mind. True acceptance isn’t something we do for a day or a year, it comes when we are willing to let go of our resistance forever.
I am like EMC above, whenever I come across an experience outside of practice (positive or negative) which grabs my attention consistently, I bring awareness to it and look at it very closely. It becomes self-inquiry and freedom and clarity come from the truth as long as I am willing to accept it.
Best wishes .
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Edited by - Anthem on Nov 19 2007 11:59:54 PM |
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2007 : 03:22:49 AM
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What's been written here in response to my post feels intense in that what I carry into my "rubber hits the road" world is the shock and shame of it all. I persist in this voice, in addition to all the other ecstatic happenings, and I feel devastated that there's no talking about it at all, any of it, in my environment. I feel stymied that my deepest self-knowing is to sit it all out, to raise my own spirit consciousness, to continue carrying the current in ever stronger ways... and all the while, twice a day and often more, here I am with this voice, the orgasm, the lights, the yab-yum, the travelings, everything...
And all the while this voice seems like the most important conversation I'll ever have. Maddening that I miss parts of it. Maddening that I struggle in its wake!
I can abosolutely affirm that AYP practices IS helping life become better!! It's effortless in a way. That very core of non-efforting is what brings me back no matter how it all gets.
Yesterday voice had a funny on me - I was crying throughout the practice, a sure sign of something not quite right, when the image of plant loomed large in my mind's eye. I could feel its spirit, I knew the plant from earlier working with it before in healing capacities, as an ally, and I swooned even, into non-literal arms of what felt like grace and great peacey-blissy. A moment goes by and all the crying is gone, I'm back into regular practice with mantra, grateful and curious - when the voice says "See, that wasn't me".
??! How can the voice fun me like this??? I feel a great deal aware of the "blobs" as such, mentioned in emc's suggestions. It possible I have a hook with another, and that I summoned the hook and likely allowed the opportunity to shape itself as it has. It's possible this is all just me, a theory I entertain on occasion and then dismiss simply because "it's all just me" seems ripe for getting swept up in analysis and lost thoughts. Whatever this voice is interests me less and less. That I drop my struggle seems vital, and there's so much here in your responses for me to continue to digest. I mean, quite easily, I want nothing more than my next sitting time to roll around so that I can commune again with ME...
Dang voice. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2007 : 04:18:22 AM
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Julie,
Nice to read your reply! Thank you for being so honest here!
What I pick up from your post is some kind of frustration, irritation, lots of spiritual stuff going on, lots of crying, and quite a lot of confusion... ALL of those signs are classical signs of overload! How much do you do to ground yourself and self-pace? Have you done any longer period of self-pacing, if so what was the effect?
I also sense great courage and strong bhakti between the lines. And I just loved your last part:
"Whatever this voice is interests me less and less. That I drop my struggle seems vital"
Totally agreed!
Love, emc |
Edited by - emc on Nov 21 2007 04:19:32 AM |
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2007 : 5:20:42 PM
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Emc,
Lots of crying?? Because I mention I cried during ONE? of my sitting practices?? Your conclusion feels confusing to me. From my perspective - no, no lots of crying, not so much confusion. I know who I am and I know I am held in regard. Right on for the great deal of spiritual stuff. I only hold that crying sitting in the perspective that I was also here in this forum, just hours before writing about this voice aspect, and allowing that energy to have another 'voice' in a way. The crying seemed a symptom of my moving on from it, a good sign really, of positive movement. Not a sign of lots of crying...
I have work calling me... but I have lots of thinking-introspective time during my job. I'll give my self-pacing a good look. I self-pace, of course - yet I also aim high and fly high. Like the great runners of Ethiopia right?? Did you know they never jog? They never even consider jogging, or saving some of themselves and their energy for later. They give all of themselves, every time, and they run. And it works. Back to me, now yes, I will and do self-pace - and I picked this forum topic Self-Pacing for a reason, as I knew my pushing back on something that was loud during my practice was a sign self-pacing was called for. Perhaps more jogging is called for me. Truth is, I'm a runner... :0
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2007 : 2:37:04 PM
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Julie,
I'm truly sorry. The "lots of crying" was definitely a misinterpretation and overgeneralization from my side. Thank you for pointing that out. You are right, crying is often a very good sign!
I guess it was the placement of the post - as you mention also in your last post - that got me into that line of thoughts. I wish you a wonderful run! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4380 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2007 : 02:35:45 AM
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Hi Julie D and other Divine Beings,
A wonderful man from India called Aurobindo, spent about 20 years living in isolation in a room in south India. People used to write him letters and the replies he gave them got published. Here are some of the things he wrote about voices in those replies:
quote:
activity of the occult sense in the vital which hears things other than the physical. When this kind of thing comes, there has to be a quiet rejection in the being and the thing will pass away. Some people get interested and have a lot of trouble because they get into the habit of hearing voices and seeing and feeling things which are only partly or sometimes true but mixed with much that is false and misleading. It is good that there was something in your vital being which rejected it.
quote:
These voices are sometimes one's own mental formations, sometimes suggestions from outside. Good or bad depends on what they say and on the quarter from which they come.
quote:
As for voices, there are many voices; each Force, each movement of the mental, vital, physical plane may equip itself with a voice. Your voices were not even at one with each other; one said one thing, when it did not work out, another said something inconsistent with it; but you were attached to your mental formation and still tried to follow.
All this happens because the mind and vital in these exaltations of the stress of the sadhana become very active. That is why it is necessary, first to found your sadhana on a great calm, a great equality, not eagerly rushing after experiences or their fruit, but looking at them, observing, calling always for more and more Light, trying to be more and more wide, open, quietly and discerningly receptive. If the psychic being is always at the front, then these
difficulties are greatly lessened, because there is here a light which the mind and vital have not, a spontaneous and natural psychic perception of the divine and the undivine, the true and the false, the imitation and the genuine guidance
quote:
All sorts of “imperatives” come, visions, perhaps “voices”. There is nothing more dangerous than these voices—when I
hear from somebody that he has a “voice”, I always feel uneasy, though there can be genuine and helpful voices, and feel inclined to say “No voices please,—silence, silence and a clear discriminating brain”. I have hinted about this region of imitation experiences, false inspirations, false voices into which hundreds of yogins enter and some never get out of it in my letter about the intermediate zone. If a man has a strong clear head and a certain kind of spiritual scepticism, he can go through and does—but people without discrimination like Y or Z get lost. Especially ego enters in and makes them so attached to their splendid (?) condition that they absolutely refuse to come out. Now a retirement into seclusion gives free scope for this kind of action, as it makes one live entirely in one's own subjective being without any control except what one's own native discernment can bring in—and if that is not strong?
I assume the last quote means that he thought it was not good to spend too much time in isolation when you are in a state where you hear voices.
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2007 : 12:42:32 AM
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Hello all - I've been busy mulling on all the posts here. Just earlier today I thought to write in, all triumphant and clear that I’d come to some terrific insights on my voice and all. Then just now, for the past 20 minutes or so, major voice-arama. So I’m not clear, and I’m not blushing at the notion I’d ‘fix’ me all up in the space of a few days. *blush*
When I sit with this more, having all your added perspectives as assistance, I come to the conclusion that peace is paramount. It’s fascinating and wonderful to me Christi, that your quotes (Aurobindo’s) mention the voice saying one thing that is shortly contradicted by the voice(s) saying another thing when or if the first proposed conversation doesn’t work out. (I’ve deeply paraphrased.) This silly-sallying back and forth is ongoing for me personally! It is crucial for me to see this point everytime… as the disquieting’ness of the contradictions provide me the impulse that I use to turn again to peace.
Peace, light, more and more quiet, less static’y (noisy) electric channels…. Here I feel clear. Entertaining this voice is leaving me stuck with my attention anywhere except me.
Other things I’ve discovered are that recently I’ve taken up 2 activities that are very quiet. I’ve returned to knitting and long outdoor walks. In this realization that I am in the Zen-style of walking meditation (while walking, knitting, etc) I see that I have overcharged myself. I have become unruly in my demand for quiet. In my daily life I’ve not brought peace into where my quiet is disturbed. Quite naturally then I’m in a non-accepting state, be it my voice that I hear, or anyone walking about that I pass by at the store, at work, wherever… My expectation for quiet is part of what has me in a bind. My days since posting last have had a new kind of joy now thankfully, realizing this self-made pickle I was in – where instead of tensing up at the voices, I simply acknowledge that there’s a time for complete quiet, and there’s a time to share.
There’s definitely more sharing than I wish for me. Honestly also I feel terrible at the idea that I could be the source of all the conversations…. When the voice is kind to me, engaged in energetic healing with me, with me on journeys and fun times, that’s one thing. When the voice is telling me “We’re all caught up now, why get back together?”, when it’s giving me “Now listen to me!” signals, then I’m 100% limbic without any rationalizing or ground…. *sigh*
It’s not all conversation though… During one of my sitting times yesterday – I felt a big leap up and saw myself then in the presence of God and wise ones. It was awesome, to say the least. As I walked forward they all seemed happy enough to see me. Then the major figure standing in the middle reached down and like rolling someone down a grassy hill, sent me flying back here, home, to my meditation… LOL. Thanks. Yay me! And at the same time, GEEZ…. The blushing continues. |
Edited by - julied on Nov 25 2007 01:17:14 AM |
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2007 : 12:51:03 AM
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| Oh Emc - I see the two cryings now... Got it. Yeah, the two events were months apart. Hard to tell without a full 411 on my story timeline. Didn't mean to be testy here... Cheers, JulieD |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2007 : 09:00:39 AM
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And lovely to hear about your experience of being in the presence of God and wise ones. I've had a very similar vision, where they were all standing on a long line, bowing to me and smiling as I walked forward... |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2007 : 11:25:15 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by emc
What shows up are often carrying parts of your psychic unconscious that you do not dare to face yet, so you project it outside to "a voice from outside of me that enters me". That is not really true. It is a voice from your deepest self that is trying to show you something.
Hi All,
I read this thread this morning in its entirety. I've been doing some voice work too.
I heard a voice in a dream: It was a voice from the sky, a voice without a body, not a visible body anyway, and it took my body for its own, and the effects were transformative for me. My main method of interpretation is to see it as the voice of my most profound self, along the lines emc suggests in the quotation above. And a practice that I've tried off and on, in order to integrate the voice, is to imitate the tone of voice; doing it aloud using my own voice box.
I have found that I come closest to imitating the voice when I let my voice box relax as much as possible and speak out of that relaxation. I find it difficult to speak without tensing up, but rewarding when I do it. It feels comfortable, makes me feel at home with my body relaxed and suffused with pranic energy.
I'm curious, julied, have you tried imitating the tone of the voice? By "tone" I'm referring to the sound quality, the timbre, the vibrational quality. I find it works best for me at the very lowest possible volume, though above a whisper, making the vocal chords vibrate.
This work would of course be done outside of regular AYP practices. |
Edited by - bewell on Nov 25 2007 3:22:44 PM |
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2007 : 12:56:46 PM
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| Alright bewell - I gave it a little go. The results weren't pleasant. I feel I have had a kind of "voices from on top" before, with resonating healing tones that seemed absolutely ripe for bringing forward into this reality plane, transformative too in effect, timing, born-of-spirit blessing.... The voice I'm speaking of might be more along emc's line though, of repressed or repulsed self, the more I work with it of late. |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2007 : 1:35:47 PM
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Julie,
We may hold various beliefs about all of these experiences, but the truth is what is left when you pierce through the veil of delusion through meditation practice. I hope you stick to it, and aren't too distracted by these voices or visions. |
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julied
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2007 : 02:48:02 AM
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The best thing about having written here to you all is that I feel I have much improved my 'relationship' with this voice. I was with it for far too long all by myself, and I had done a great deal of the work with it on my own. Everything came to that point though where community was vital, where being heard on it happened, where I and my experience was not judged too harshly or shamed back into silence. Thank you all for that fantastic feeling of BEING HEARD. It's wonderful.
I have of course intellectualized the general take on voices, visions, bliss feelings, etc. as distractions overall, the whole "Stop and play if you like, just remember you've stopped along the way!!" kind of nudging me keep going... To have the opportunity to articulate here though that "Heck! I have come to a FULL STOP with this voice, and I feel frustrated that the continued stopping does not seem born of me."???!! Priceless. I am grateful.
What I have discovered is that stopping and paying attention to the voice was important, but the truth is, I did stop and stay too long. Writing here returned me to some of the basics of the mantra and breathing flows. This time through though, since first posting here, I wasn't just doing the mantra and breathing however because it was AYP, or the set, or whatever - this time I was in IT for IT. Does that makes sense? I was 100% in this sitting experience for me, for the health of me, for the beauty of me, for the evolution of me, the salvation, the existence, the unity, everything!!! The change in my motivation may have started out selfish, and whining, that all this "stuff" was going on for me. The motivation quickly became pure and aligned however with what is much much greater than me. While I did not do the mantra and breathing any harder, or apply any more force, I did _something_ different in me... what, I gave more of my heart, more of my passion, more of my open desire and dedication to MOVE??? Something changed. And in that return to the basics, there was much LESS room for voice. The voice still occurs, just that during my sitting, I have definitely moved on and am in new scenery so to say. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2007 : 03:14:22 AM
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Hi Julie,
Your post is very touching! My heart is rejoicing when I read. It is amazing how problems can diminish or start to change just because you dare to be open, honest and ask for advice.
Love, emc |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2007 : 4:45:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by julied
Alright bewell - I gave it a little go. The results weren't pleasant....The voice I'm speaking of might be more along emc's line though, of repressed or repulsed self, the more I work with it of late.
Hi julied,
Thanks for the report back. Best wishes in your journey. |
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