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 Discussions on AYP Deep Meditation and Samyama
 Inner silence / fear / balance
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Posted - Nov 15 2023 :  01:14:20 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hi all, long time listener, first time caller here.

I had a 2 year stint of AYP almost 15 years ago, then ventured away and now I'm back again to regular AYP practices.

I'm a few months in and keeping it simple:
10 min SBP
20 min DM

It seems I'm pretty sensitive these days to energy practices and have all sorts of sensations and energy movements. When these get intense, I tend to have fear arise. The fear seems to be related to the energy intensity. It feels like it has a mind of its own and I'm about to lose control and that scares me in the moment. So I usually adjust my breathing to reduce the potency, I focus on the practice of SBP and within a few breaths cut the session and move on to DM.

DM is a very different experience for me. I do the practice, but I don't perceive any effects. If there wasn't much happening in terms of energy during SBP, I wouldn't bat an eye and would just do the practices. But because the energetic component seems pretty potent and the inner silence component seems non-existent (or at least not obvious), I'm wondering if I should be doing something different to make sure I have balance.

I found the following excerpt in this lesson: https://www.aypsite.org/157.html

So, the reason why be begin with meditation in these lessons is to cultivate inner silence first, the prerequisite for all the rest that happens in yoga. Once we have that coming up, it is possible to open many doors. When Shiva (inner silence) is there, then arousing and fostering ecstatic union with Kundalini/Shakti becomes possible, and a joyous experience rather than a traumatic one. It is the natural next step. So after meditation is established, that is what we do here in the lessons -- awaken Kundalini and get down to the business of joining the subject and the object. That's yoga.

Should I be backing off SBP entirely and only going into DM until inner silence is established?
What even really is inner silence, in normal, everyday terms?
How will I recognise that some inner silence has been established?
Is my apparent fear of awakening kundalini likely a result of not having any/enough inner silence?

I'm a little lost here and I don't want too rough a ride!


United Kingdom
4332 Posts

Posted - Nov 16 2023 :  09:33:56 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Andy,

Welcome to the forums!

You do not necessarily need to back-off from Spinal Breathing entirely. What I would suggest, is to cut back on the time you spend practicing Spinal Breathing, until you reach a level where you are stable and comfortable over the long term. So, that would mean cutting back on the time during every practice session, not just when you experience fear.

You may find that cutting back to 5-minutes of SBP with each session, will be fine, or maybe 2-minutes will work better. You may need to cut the practice out all together. But you would discover that by going through the gradual reduction process.

Even then, when you find a stable level of practice, that may still change over time as purification continues, so you may have to step back further. Or, you may find that after being stable for a few weeks, or months, that you can step back up again. So, it is a continual process of adjusting practices as you go, in order to maintain a stable practice routine.

As for what inner silence is, I created a video recently on this topic, which is part of a 5-week online video course on Deep Meditation practice. I posted it to YouTube here:


It is not necessary to be experiencing inner silence before taking on Spinal Breathing. It is simply that we begin with Deep Meditation practice in order to be cultivating inner silence during the whole of our spiritual journey. There are a few practices which do have abiding inner silence as a pre-condition. One of those is samyama practice and another is Janna yoga, or self-inquiry practice.

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10 Posts

Posted - Nov 16 2023 :  11:18:43 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks Christi.
So it all comes down to self-pacing. I'll do that.
And thank you for clarifying SBP too.

The samadhi states sound pretty profound. I think I won't truly "get" the whole inner silence component until I've started experiencing it, so I'll just let that come as it may.

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