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zamolxes

Romania
90 Posts

Posted - Feb 13 2021 :  7:41:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Yes, I again throw a piece of my self to you, boring as it may be

Do we cycle or do we recycle? Time, that is, the movement I have been engaged in was quite a ride for the past months. And all my attempts at contemplating it were rather peculiar.

From good to bad, or rather from negative to positive, I've passed like a river through polluting cities and through holy lands. From daunting and depressed death-lands to celestial realms. And as the yellow river coming from the depths of eternity, I've passed and rised from the purgatory just to flow through highs and lows, through the garden of eden and past the dams of society.

And as a worm, I've pushed myself out of the soil, and basking in the ethereal radiance of the sun, I've lost myself in reveries of nature. Nature that came alive in the birds lullabies, in the flowers dance of colors and in the majestic sways of the trees. And so, mesmerized and hypnotized, fell asleep in my own dark cocoon, built by longing and desire. A cocoon that ultimately cut my view of the sky, and trapped me with myself. Disorienting and graceful, the darkness mirrored internal turmoil, turmoil that burdened my shoulders with unseen weight.

And yet such yoke, became a joke. For the seeds of Heaven lit up in the confines of my soul as stars in the night sky. And with the momentum of previous lifetimes of devotion, sprouted to become that which longed for. And as a lake that rised above the earth, I went on, flowing wherever the lands intend, with the ocean in my heart. And so, the cocoon broke, and the freedom the blue sky radiated came again into view. The golden glow of the sun, that so much resonated into my heart, came to make its rest on my gracious wings. Wings, built by heartfelt despair, such as carbon burned and compressed turns into diamonds, so my naivety refined itself into tender wisdom.

Fighting the darkness, I had turned into it, not realizing the same darkness I so much repulsed was light in disguise. And as death becomes life's true embrace, so did the darkness lit up in my loving embrace, an embrace born in surrender.

Light and free, as Atlas I carry my inner world in the journey, filled with gardens handpicked from the Universe. And this world, evolved from wars and treatises, rised from plagues and disaster, turned civilized from ignorant and on the vast patches of greenery and sharp peaks of snow, lay around the scoundrels and the virtuous, the good and the evil, the fools and the wise. And as their forefather, I lovingly carry them forward, through outer storms and through inner earthquakes I shield them both in my conscious embrace. For they both, are me and I too find myself in them.

k.cherry

USA
64 Posts

Posted - Apr 23 2021 :  6:19:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by zamolxes
Fighting the darkness, I had turned into it, not realizing the same darkness I so much repulsed was light in disguise. And as death becomes life's true embrace, so did the darkness lit up in my loving embrace, an embrace born in surrender.



Oh, I feel you here. My path has been seemingly insistent that I become the very darkness I condemned, at least becoming it enough to taste it. I think we become what we fight! But yes, I also keep hoping that the darkness is actually light in disguise.
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zamolxes

Romania
90 Posts

Posted - May 26 2021 :  9:42:35 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
K.cherry, it has happened to me too, that this darkness, the bad habits of the mind, come back day in and day out. And it will keep on being insistent until there is no conflict left between our silent self and the noisy one. Until then, we'll have to get by with the darkness lurking around, as if we would always have a burnt piece of food at every meal
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Dogboy

USA
1848 Posts

Posted - May 26 2021 :  10:27:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
K.cherry, it has happened to me too, that this darkness, the bad habits of the mind, come back day in and day out. And it will keep on being insistent until there is no conflict left between our silent self and the noisy one.


As our meditation practice matures, as our neurobiology opens our silent and energetic selves, as our Witness notices our thoughts, we come to know “conflict” is but a ghost.
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interpaul

USA
281 Posts

Posted - May 27 2021 :  03:00:18 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Zamolxes, I somehow missed this one when you posted it. This is a beautiful poetic explorations of your inner journey. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.
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zamolxes

Romania
90 Posts

Posted - May 27 2021 :  7:52:43 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you Interpaul, you are as kind as ever.
Dogboy, inner silence is with no doubt the only factor that dissolves all shadows, or rather it is beginning to look as if this silence harmonizes all the noise and happenings of the mind and by making it whole everything else disappears. I guess the active component of integration of inner silence is to crash with life, to pass through so much friction until there's nothing left. A day by day process
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Blanche

USA
702 Posts

Posted - May 28 2021 :  1:20:10 PM  Show Profile  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
...and maybe to learn that silence and the rest of life are one and the same thing, facets of the same gem. Sometimes we learn by writing - and you are doing this well. Thank you for sharing.

The guru is in you.
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zamolxes

Romania
90 Posts

Posted - May 30 2021 :  6:10:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
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