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warlock
USA
15 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 11:53:12 AM
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I have been practicing DM for about 6 weeks now. I have been aware of a deep inner peace during certain brief moments. However, this last week, I have been experiencing a lot of anger and resentment about the past. I am wondering if my meditations are bringing up the anger out of my subconscious?
I grew up within a very strict religion and never felt worthy. I have been in and out of the church many times. When I began to overload on guilt, I would leave the church. I have realized that many of the teachings of this church are false and psychologically damaging. I have some anger towards it and now view it as a mind control cult. Half of my family still belongs to it and I am trying to walk a fine line of being respectful but honest about what I now believe.
Anyways, will continued meditation help me weed out the years of indoctrination and false teachings? Will it help me release the anger of feeling emotionally abused? |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 1:04:35 PM
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Yes it will; just keep on meditating.
If there is too much anger, back off for a while. I have a similar situation, and my body seemed to regulate how much anger comes out, so it is managable. I don't know if other people are like that.
It is not necessary to go over the stories of what caused the anger again. Just try to fully experience the anger when it comes up, and this gets rid of it.
By 'fully experience', I mean to stop what you are doing (if you can), and be aware of all your senses; notice what the anger feels like, see if you can visualize it, hear it etc. Once you keep your full attention on it,
it should go away after a while. This has to be done every time it comes up. If any of the sensations move,
that is good - they are starting to go away, just keep watching them.
Try not to be angry with people around you, because they are usually not the cause. Of course you should express your anger if someone causes it, but you may begin to notice a pattern from meditating, in which you are angry for no apparent reason, or overly angry at something extremely unimportant. Most people don't seem to have as much stored anger as me; some of us spent a lot of time storing it when we were little.
Anger gets stored by refusing to put your attention on it - typical for abused kids. It is a physical thing,
so often asanas will bring it out faster - you probably don't want that yet. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4380 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 1:06:50 PM
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Hi Warlock,
Yes, meditation can bring past memories and emotions to the surface, so take it easy, maybe cutting back on your practice times.
Gradually, meditation allows you to come to a place of peace and serenity not from escaping past memories, but through understanding them.
Christi |
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warlock
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 2:16:42 PM
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| I think I will cutback on my practice times. I was doing 10 minutes SBP and 20 Minutes DM. I think I am going to scale back to 5 minutes SBP and 15 Minutes DM. I may experiment with that for a week or two and see how I feel. I am learning from experience that purification can happen too quickly. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 2:21:33 PM
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Welcome to the AYP forums Warlock.
Good idea on cutting back on practices for a bit.
One more suggestion, if you'd like to, read "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. That may help you let go some of the blocks, caused by the emotional abuse, you have stored in you.
Wish you all the best. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 3:55:28 PM
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Welcome warlock. As others have said, just take it very, very easy when you do the practices. Monitor any changes, cut back and self pace immediately. Get plenty of rest after meditation and take up some physical activity such as a regular walk after the session.
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Edited by - karl on Feb 14 2012 6:01:22 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 4:52:18 PM
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| plenty of rest maybe? |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 6:02:04 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
plenty of rest maybe?
iPad spell correction from hell. |
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