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teatree
USA
2 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 07 2023 : 5:31:12 PM
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Hello everyone,
Firstly, I am deeply grateful for the valuable insights shared in this forum. Your posts have significantly contributed to my journey thus far. Thank you all!
I am a 29 year old male.
I have been diligently practicing AYP for over a year, engaging in DM & SBP twice daily, hardly ever missing a session. The impact on my day-to-day life has been profound. And, I think, I am just now starting to see glimpses of ecstatic conductivity and a gentle emergence of inner silence in my practice as well.
Driven by a surging bhakti, I am beginning to explore other areas. Recently, I have added some additional mudras to my practice, and I am beginning to explore tantra.
Here is my issue. I have always had a very unique energetic relationship with sexuality. The way sex affects me is different than most other other men I have met, and different than how it is described in the AYP tantra writings. Here's how:
- My sex drive is pretty insane. Historically, I?ve aimed to have sex around 10-15 times per day. In the last year, it has calmed down to around 5-8 times per day, which is a bit more manageable. Sounds crazy, but it's true. This initially led me to believe that I would be an ideal candidate for tantra practices to transmute this potent sexual energy into spiritual growth and advancement.
- My refractory period is non-existent. I can easily continue having sex immediately after reaching an orgasm.
- For most men, reaching an orgasm depletes them of energy. For me, it gives me energy. Nothing makes me feel more energetic in my day to day life than having a lot of sex.
- This is the big one. When I do not ejaculate for 1-3+ days, I do not experience an increase in energy in my body. Very much the opposite. I feel incredibly tired, lethargic, and apathetic. It massively depletes my body of energy when I do not have sex. I find it very difficult to get decent sleep. And it has a very negative effect on my mood, making me much more short tempered and aggressive. This appears to be the opposite of what most men experience whereby they experience a drain on their energy post ejaculation.
So with this in mind, I would appreciate some advice from those further along on the path than I am:
1. Have you ever heard of something like this, or do you have any theories on why sex may be affecting my body in this way from an energetic perspective?
2. Given that sex energizes me rather than depletes me, would you recommend making any modifications to the baseline AYP tantra system? Are there any specific techniques I can implement to help in my unique situation? I very much want to engage in the hold back method, but when I do, I experience incredibly negative effects on my mood and energy levels.
I would greatly appreciate your insights, shared experiences, or recommendations.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4378 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2023 : 06:35:09 AM
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Hi Teatree,
It sounds as if you are suffering from sex addiction. Sex addiction is common, affecting around 6% of the population of the USA. It is more common in men than women. About three times more men suffer from sex addiction than women. Withdrawal symptoms are common for people who suffer from sex addiction, being experienced by around 98% of sufferers. Common withdrawal symptoms experienced when going without sex include depression, anger, anxiety, insomnia and fatigue. You have mentioned two of these five withdrawal symptoms.
The AYP Tantra lessons are not written for people suffering from sex addiction, and it would actually be very hard for someone suffering from sex addiction to follow the guidelines, as you have noticed, because they would keep experiencing withdrawal symptoms from abstaining from orgasm.
My suggestion would be to focus more on non-tantrik yoga practices, especially meditation and asana practice. I would also suggest getting outside help, from a professional. These days there are therapists who specialise in these things and support groups.
This lesson talks more about the issue of sexually obsessive behaviour and sexual addiction, and how to deal with it:
Lesson T38 - Pornography, Compulsive Habits, and Tantra
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dcame
Canada
11 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2023 : 3:01:03 PM
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| Sex desire has two drivers: physiology and the psychological overlay that happens on top of it. It might be worth your while getting a physician or endocrinologist to check out your hormone levels. If your hormones are all normal, then for sure it's a matter of psychological purification, which in AYP terms means DM. |
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Dogboy
USA
2201 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2023 : 03:19:34 AM
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| The cultivation of inner silence is the foundation of any stable practice, and you seem to be way out of balance towards the energetic side. The amount of sexual activity you seek is well outside of the bell curve; like the other yogis above, consult with professionals regarding the nature of this behavior. If one has enough inner silence through their disciplined meditation practice, some self inquiry could assist. "Aiming to have sex" implies you may have attachment issues which would anchor you to this earthly plane, rather than fulfill the promise of liberation from this duality. |
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teatree
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2023 : 3:41:15 PM
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Hi guys,
Thank you so much for your responses. It means a lot that you took the time to help me figure this out.
After reading your response it is clear that I left out some crucial bits of information.
You actually hit the nail on the head. I used to be a legitimate sex addict and a few years ago sought out the help of a therapist specializing in sex addiction recovery. Therapy, along with a sex addiction recovery group and long periods of celibacy helped me break the addiction.
My understanding from the program I was in was that sex addiction isn?t characterized by how much you have sex specifically. Instead, their definition of a sex addict is someone who continues to engage in sexual behavior despite clear negative consequences.
If we work off that definition, I was absolutely a sex addict before. I felt like I needed to be having sex all the time. Now, I no longer feel that I am a sex addict, and my sex addiction therapist agrees. While my libido is still incredibly high, I can go long periods of time without having sex. Although, I will admit, going for long period of time without any type of orgasm (sex or masturbation) is a bit challenging, simply due to the negative physical symptoms that arise in my body when I abstain from orgasm for days at a time.
So far, AYP has helped me tremendously with regards to bringing balance to the sexual energy in my body. So my intuition is that the long term answer relies in AYP. I just want to go about it in the healthiest and most sustainable way possible.
I would agree with dogboy that I clearly have an immense amount of sexual energy in my body. From what I?ve read, this energy can be sublimated in one of two ways:
- Continue engaging in DM (as planned). Over time, the cultivation of shiva will naturally balance out the naturally high shakti.
Engage in the ?cultivation? part of brahmacharya, and aim to sublimate my sexual energy up my spine and throughout my body.
- I have already seen professionals regarding the situation and I feel I have gotten from them what I need to. Currently, my bhakti is telling me the best path forward is with yoga.
So with that in mind, here are my questions;
1. Given the uniquely high amount of sexual energy in my body, are there any tips you would give, or any modifications you would add to the baseline tantra practice?
2. If I start to experience negative physical symptoms from abstaining from orgasm, should I have the mentality of discipline and perseverance? Or should I allow myself to climax in order to reduce symptoms, and then continue to try again? My intuition is to try and grit my teeth and get through it. However, AYP writings emphasize trying not to ?force? anything in yoga. So I feel that I?m at a bit of a crossroads here.
3. If I am experiencing negative physical symptoms from abstaining from orgasm in my day to day, and I choose not to alleviate the symptoms with an orgasm, are there any specific practices I can perform in an attempt to sublimate and circulate the energy throughout my body? In the non yoga world I?ve heard recommendations on everything from dancing to working out. So I?m curious if AYP has any recommendations on what to do when things become especially challenging in this regard.
4. I feel that I am a bit of an outlier/black sheep with regards to the fact that I typically gain energy from sex, rather than lose it. Have you ever heard of someone experiencing this before? Do you have any theories with regards to the energetic side of things on why this might be occurring? Mentally, it would help me proceed with tantra if I know that people have been in my shoes before, and tantra/brahmacharya still worked for them.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4378 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2023 : 06:31:05 AM
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Hi Teatree,
Essentially in yoga, there is the maxim "whatever works". Yoga is a very practical art form, and if something leads to liberation, then that can become part of our practice. There are no hard and fast rules, other than to not harm ourselves, or anyone else.
So, generally, the advice given for people who are engaging in tantrik sexual practices, is to avoid losing spiritual energy and avoid losing sexual fluids. The reason that we aim to not lose spiritual energy is because this energy is needed in the process of purification of the subtle nervous system, the system of chakras and nadis in the body and surrounding the body. And the reason we aim to not lose sexual fluids, is because these fluids are needed in the production of amrita.
Do be aware that spiritual energy is not the same as energy in general. Someone could be engaged in tantrik sexual practices for many hours, and be completely exhausted at the end, but still have retained their spiritual energy and sexual fluids. Their spiritual practice would not be affected detrimentally and they would benefit from increased purification taking place in the energy channels during their tantrik sexual practices.
So, in your case, it will all come down to "what works?". If your sexual practices do not deplete your spiritual energy, and you are able to retain sexual fluids within your body, then this will not affect your yoga practices in a detrimental way. If, however, you are losing spiritual energy and sexual fluids, then it will. So, you will need to find a way that works for you over the long term.
As you know, in AYP we do not advise people to try to "push through" uncomfortable or painful situations. If something is uncomfortable or painful, it is best to gradually cut back on the things that are causing the discomfort, until we find a stable level of practice. The same goes for sex. If sex is leading to discomfort, then gradually reducing it to a level where it is comfortable, is advised. |
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Sex Affects Me Differently
