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kaina
Poland
10 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 29 2014 : 9:30:33 PM
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| Hello, Ive been meditating something around one year. Last months, after just opening my eyes I feel something near my navel, hard to explain. Its very relaxing sensation that I even don't want stand up from bed. Its something like there's really nothing to do, bliss. Like being centred. Don't know what is that, can you tell me? Also I see like I am living in a dream there is really no big gap between dreaming and "reallity" in life (if any gap is there<?>) and last time I left all my hope, I am so deppresed without reason but also feeling futile.. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2014 : 02:16:00 AM
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hello kaina 
do you practice ayp?
feeling depressed and futile is an indication of overload.Too much purification going on,you need to cut down the practices till you find yourself confortable again in daily life
all the best |
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kaina
Poland
10 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2014 : 09:52:03 AM
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| Thnx a lot. Yes. First it was vipassana, and pure awerness practice, now I'm doing also third eye meditation last time I could do 2h a day but then I started feeling so tired last time is hard to do 40 minutes, and many emotions uncovering like this morning anger.. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2014 : 04:49:22 AM
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you are practicing way too much.
in ayp we acknowledge the necessity of self pacing and cutting down practices....less is more :-)
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kaina
Poland
10 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2014 : 10:42:11 AM
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| Thank you again, maheswari. I heard about monks meditating many hours a day doesn't it overload them? Any day without meditating many thoughts attack me and bad sensations. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2014 : 02:11:42 AM
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it is not improtant what others feel and experience.What you feel and expereince is your guideline.
quote:
Any day without meditating many thoughts attack me and bad sensations
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meditation is not "a feel good drug" or a "tool to avoid certain thoughts" , it is not escape from reality
what is important is that currently in your daily life you are feeling spaced out and futile, which means self pacing has to be done. |
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kaina
Poland
10 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2014 : 11:16:00 AM
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| Really I feel tired of this, I just have undeserstand this circle of reborn/death, some feelings hits me how to escape from it, have many suicidal thoughts and its not first time, when I was younger I used to think about it but now I know it doesn't help and there is no exit.Its been long period I was living "happy" but unconscious now when I can see it I feel powerless ( also I dig my self into s#it situation which I have enough and I can't escape but cause of that I put much more work in meditation). I can see my thoughts like they are not part of me and its very strange fight, feel true self and thoughts,all two months I am depressed. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2014 : 12:33:16 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by kaina
...all two months I am depressed.
Hi kaina,
Some seekers find Tolle useful. He was very depressed before he found his path. For a long while after his awakening, he did very little. Spent a lot of time sitting on a park bench. Some of us can go on with daily life... keep a job... all that. That is the main path that AYP teaches. But I know that you are not doing AYP. I also know that you have an other than ordinary path, or so it would appear from the various posts you have shared. I have a more unusual path too. I am very good at not spending much money, not so skillful at making money. I earn very little and live on very little. That's my lifestyle. I spend a lot of time in bed. Far more than eight hours. Sometimes I have thoughts that I want to die and the thoughts come back over and over. Then the thoughts go away. Either way my life goes on.
For your consideration, here is a Tolle video I enjoyed recently:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foU1qgOdtwg
Namaste
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kaina
Poland
10 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2014 : 04:03:36 AM
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| Hello bewell thank you for reply. I was reading about Tolle. Thanks also for sharing video. Yes, my path is other than ordinary but I always was very rushy, crazy person and how it is in devided world could be totally lazy also. Cause of that I still need do something, can't be tottaly pass out and my mind somehow is still about money but I dont judge it, I am not against just try to be on middle. But now I don't work and can lie on bed like you, doing just nothing, only going someday at gym - which I try to use as meditation also, or running. |
Edited by - kaina on Sep 02 2014 05:49:09 AM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2014 : 02:15:09 AM
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dear Kaina
in addition to cutting down practices a lot (only 2 or 3 minutes per day) ,doing some sort of work is very grounding and brings back balance.The silence and energy produced by your practices need to be integrared in the outside world. |
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strange sensation after waking up
