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Anthem
1608 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 24 2008 : 9:06:11 PM
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I wanted to share a little realization I've come to the last few days in case others observe this too in their own minds. Thoughts are unique to each of us and what grabs one may not grab another, but these ones are likely more common in spiritual circles with people seeking self-realization.
I noticed a series of thoughts working insidiously in the back ground of mind/ ego which served to frequently "take me out" of the here and now by repeatedly catching my attention. I noticed that a large percentage of the time that there were thoughts going on in my mind that the most popular subject recently seemed to be about the idea of "a big awakening" or enlightenment, etc. What will a big awakening be like? What is enlightenment like, when will it happen, am I close, am I far, is there more to come, etc. Many fantasies were woven by my mind/ ego about what life would be like once such things came to pass and how wonderful life would be etc.
The irony is that I became aware that these thoughts brought me out of the here and now into an imaginary future. My enjoyment of what was happening in the now was diminished by thinking of these imaginary situations that I fantasized would occur in some imaginary future. The only concern is none of these thoughts had anything to do with reality and in addition to taking my mind away from the here and now, also made me feel incomplete or inadequate (at the times I would think them) and drove me to be constantly thinking of strategies to accelerate my spiritual "progress" (another concept) and other ways I could make more effort.
On a side note, I suspect these thoughts are by-product of reading about these grand awakenings as relayed by some current day spiritual teachers. The only problem with talking about what awakening is like is that it prevents us from living it. As Yogani so frequently reminds us, just practice and go out and live.
So I clear them out and find myself more solidly in the here and now than ever before, an enjoyable side-effect. No more goals or ambitions for a future that never arrives, simply a greater enjoyment of what is happening now. It isn’t necessary to clear out every thought that comes along in the mind, but just to not identify with them. Funny though, I will still meditate and inquire, not with any future in mind but because I enjoy it in the now...
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Eitherway
USA
100 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2008 : 11:16:10 PM
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Hi Anthem,
The first time I really felt the inner silence was when my thoughts retreated to the right side of my chest a couple of years ago after a few days of mindful living. There was a definite increase in intensity or energy of well being and a awareness that was truly surprising. So surprising in fact that more then being able to stay with the silence, I worried and initiated thought that would question what was going on and when it would go away. Sure enough, the thinking got me back into the mind/ego in a few days.
The second time it happened was around a year ago and it felt more familiar this time but again I was worried about when it was going to go back to normal or even if there was going to be a explosion into enlightenment etc.....
I'm in the midst of another deeper brush of inner silence right now and initially I initiated (not the autonomous voice in the head) the same questioning. Then I caught myself thinking and a broke into a fit of laughter because obviously the only way to "lose" this state was to start incessant thinking. Just like you mentioned, as long as we witness the machinations of the mind we don't have to clear out each thought and in fact, the witnessing/silence starts predominating while the chatter almost has a perfect negative correlation with it.
Man, lots of belly laughs. I guess they make up for lots of sobbing and crying over the last few years...hehehe...
Simply put, as far as I'm concerned, Yogani is 100% right about the rise of inner silence.....etc.....and people would be well served by just following the ayp system instead of digging lot of holes but I guess we all have different distractions to rise above.
So we should just continue practices and have faith that the truth will unfold. In fact I'm beginning to feel like anytime a particular concept or strategy requires a lot of effort, it's just non-relational because the truth seems to arrive simply and brings big belly laughs and deep gratitude for Yogani's teachings as well as so much more of the things in our lives that we normally don't appreciate.
Thank you Anthem for this and so many other insightful posts.
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Edited by - Eitherway on Aug 24 2008 11:54:34 PM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 02:56:21 AM
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Beautiful posts to start the day with! Thanks, Anthem and Eitherway!
It's truly the identification that is the main thing here, not the thoughts or thinking process per se. My mind is still very active but it doesn't matter. I sometimes get hooked on the thought "But the mind is supposed to go more silent, isn't it?" and I may start believe in that thought it's just... I feel inadequate or suffer as soon as I go into believing it. When I don't, but stay watching it's funny ways and good ol' tricks... there's peace and joy.
Oh, yes, Eitherway... those belly laughs!  They bubble up more and more frequently...
Life is surely getting lighter, and lighter... |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 03:56:14 AM
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hello everyone, nice posts i'm going through the same thing you've mentioned dear Anthem a lot these days plus thinking about a certain holy man i've met and other teachers writtings and sayings like yogani for exampls.
and i've come to quieting that down by saying to myself i'm not myself these are just thoughts and i'm the witness of these thoughts and this body and all of it's .... basic advaitan thinking nothing more and it helps big time.
and this happens most usualy during deep meditation and samyama where the thoughts drift then i get back to the mantra or to the sutra and the melting... i just think to myself again here goes that monkey brain which is not the true me there's no me there's just atman, nirvana.... call it by whatever name you want it's all the same and it's just peacful emptiness with euphoria and that's our true nature and our body brain mind senses are just tools and barriers at the same time for us to realize that truth.
like the spider who after building his web starts eating it back again and gets it all back through his system.
dear Anthem i know you probably know the above mentioned methodology i just mentioned, but let's just concider it as a reminder.
by the way i really like your posts and i'm not speaking of just this one, there is a beautiful spark of truth shining in all of them.
namaste,
Ananda |
Edited by - Ananda on Aug 25 2008 03:58:35 AM |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 08:40:43 AM
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Namaste, Ananda, emc and everybody here. Good posts!
I don't see a significant difference between commonplace everyday thoughts and "meta thoughts" about thinking, meditating, enlightment etc, as discussed here: detachment is what makes a difference, in both. Growing out of excessive thinking is about many smooth returns to the mantra (or object of meditation), bringing it gently back to focus again and again. Similarly in daily life, breathing is a natural point to return to.
Also, Tolle points out that whenever you go for calmly witnessing the thoughts, they diminish automatically.
Deida and most tantric yogis view excessive thinking (or talking to oneself) as an energy leak - much the same as twirling small objects, picking one's nose or biting one's nails. So, rather than patching lots of small ever-changing leaks, yoga and meditation techniques channel their driving force a new way.
Taking it from the mat to off-the-mat, even in long bold projects such as landing again on the Moon or reshaping one's own body and spirit, just one point is really important right now: the next action, the one to be taken now; the rest is confidence, relying on skill and self discipline. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 09:46:48 AM
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Thanks everyone for you comments, many great points by everyone.
quote:
and i've come to quieting that down by saying to myself i'm not myself these are just thoughts and i'm the witness of these thoughts and this body and all of it's .... basic advaitan thinking nothing more and it helps big time.
Thanks for sharing this Ananda, this is effective self-inquiry. I do a similar thing, where when the thought comes I ask "who is thinking this?" and I realize in that moment that there is only nothingness. Another I do is to remind myself that it is just a thought, not mine, but part of the collective thoughts that exist here on earth and just passing through. As Hathateacher points out, all thoughts are equal, it is only our reaction to them that aren't. Also HT, thanks for the reminder about the conscious breath, I have been using this on occasion recently outside of practices, very effective. There are so many ways and as Yogani pointed out the other day in one of his posts, (paraphrasing) with the witness present, the way to self-inquiry will be there even when it is self-invented.
Probably the method I have used most to clear thoughts over the last few years, when I find them capturing my attention a lot, is Byron Katie's 4 questions, is it true? Can I absolutely be certain it's true? etc. Finding the opposite perspective is another, there are countless ways. Eventually for the most part, as emc points out, thoughts just come and go with the awareness that none are true and no need to jump in and solve each one (I was definitely prone to this for a long time).
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 5:27:06 PM
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Hi
Anthem - thank you for sharing.
Some years ago I wrote a lot in my diary......and regularly I would go into spontanious dialogues with what I called "the white band"......this was the first taste of the Shine for me. I would ask....and the white band answered. Always. I would have to be in a flow though.....I had to trust that whatever was heard was fine, so that there were no gaps where thinking could intervene.
Anyway......again and again - many, many times over the years - this fraze came up:
What you are waiting for has already happened
I couldn't understand it. I kept asking.....but only silence prevailed. The white band would never answer that question.
As time went by I finally entered into a period of a strong feeling of "something imminent is about to happen". Or "there is something on the tip of my tounge....something so close....that I can almost remember". This feeling of being on the edge of understanding something had one significant consequence: I continuously payed more and more attention to the moment at hand. I finally understood that the remembering was not of something past....but of something present. Shortly after that I had the first experience of the Shine........and everything fell into place.
So....as you all say, it all boils down to staying in the now....unidentified with content. And then there is the fact that it is only our perception that "separates" us from the Shine. When I first understood this I cried and cried of joy. To truly understand that this very instant holds all the sacredness in the whole existence always.....to know this in heart......it makes up for eons of delusions. The "grand awakening" is not something to come. It is something that is. It is here....whether I perceive it fully or not. Bakhti increased immensley at this turningpoint.....because I understood that what I was trying so hard to remember is present always. So the love of meditation equals the love of perceiving more and more of the sacred present moment.
Like you say, Anthem:
quote:
Funny though, I will still meditate and inquire, not with any future in mind but because I enjoy it in the now...
Eitherway said:
quote:
So we should just continue practices and have faith that the truth will unfold.
Yes . Not only will it, but it is unfolding as we speak.
So the unanswered "what you are waiting for has already happened" from the white band.......turned out to be just That. And my questions about it was answered consistantly every time. But
it could only be perceived when quiet.
Silence cannot be told. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 7:04:46 PM
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Wonderful post Katrine, thank you for that. As always a little more clarity from reading.
Seeking is at an end here and it feels good to rest easy in what is. |
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Suryakant
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2008 : 10:41:44 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by HathaTeacher
Growing out of excessive thinking is about many smooth returns to the mantra ...
That is a practice that works. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2008 : 10:55:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Suryakant
quote:
Originally posted by HathaTeacher
Growing out of excessive thinking is about many smooth returns to the mantra ...
That is a practice that works.
- thank you Suryakant, yes it does, over the past 5000 yrs. or so...
Satyananda writes a lot about turbulent awakenings; in Kundalini Tantra, he takes it to the extreme: as long as we continue the sadhana, we're on the way and not crazy, no matter any loss of apetite, sleep, sex drive, interest in world affairs, dilligence in work etc. He says many ashrams would allow you, during the weeks of a turbulent awakening, to skip anything BUT your sadhana. It's like a rough-water swim: as long as you keep breathing and swimming, you're on track and not drowned, no matter the waves, algae, coughs, gooseflesh, aches after training etc. |
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arzkiyahai
93 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2008 : 10:46:26 PM
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| Wonderful posts. thankyou everyone. |
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Detaching from awakening/ enlightenment concepts
