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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 09 2008 : 04:13:57 AM
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I thought I'd share my experiences with kundalini and a seriously seperate mind. It's more of a word of caution against doing what I did. For those stuck deep in the land of seperation, honestly, just heed yogani's of advice, of doing your practices, and then going out in the world and just doing what you normally do.
With basically constant negative voices in my head, the temptation of "going into it all" was very strong, and I must admit, higher consciousness was often very much there. I got to the point were earthly death really was known to me to be an illusion, the sense of self was felt to be an illusion. That "once known" will never leave me (though is more of a belief than a knowing these days). Enlightenment was to me an undeniable reality that can be practiced towards and lived at every living second. Transcendental consciousness.
I feel I know to a certain degree just how real enlightenment is, and that it's a lot more simple to get to than we think (hahaha), though to me now, it's all about setting the foundation to make that a constant reality, to ease my way into it, rather than feel drama and trauma is forcing me into it, making my kundalini go nuts. To master my mind rather than constantly allow it to exhaust itself. Someone mentioned the word madjzoob to me, someone drunken\crazy with enlightenment, that was me in a way I suppose. Not exactly the kind of life I had planned though.
The thing with negative voices, often a very "low consciousness" thing, allowing that, and letting go, over and over again, leaves mucho room for the higher consciousness stuff. The lower is the seed for the higher, and I felt I had a city planting some pretty low seeds in me. Sorta like being a black hole.
Allowing "demonic" presence, and letting go, over and over and over again, your third eye and crown will "open" wide, though "spaceyness" was often there, there was a serious lack of grounding. It often felt like pins and needles at the back of my head, and along with that was that "eeeee" mettalic cricket feeling\sound of kundalini going up the crown.
My appetite went way down, my sleep habits got madz messed up (and still are, haven't broken that habit yet), often because the "days were too short", because a serious love for all of humanity was there... that or I just had too much energy at night, or I was stuck in some low "place". The highs were often balanced out by serious lows, but serious insight was often found by allowing the lows... but honestly, that's not needed, it'll "get you there" but it's not exactly the best of ways to get there. Jumping in all at once can make for a bit of a "splat" at the bottom of the canyon haha.
Taking it easy, and just following AYP practices probably would of eased me out of this "seperate" mind much easier, but... I've still learned a lot, many things that will never leave me, things that leave me with the desire to take the AYP path much more seriously, and ease into "higher consciousness", rather than take the all at once sort of approach.
It felt like this is what I had to do in a way, the only option I really had left to make my mind "whole" once again. I feel enlightenment really is a choice we can make at any second (not a choice of the mind though, tis beyond the mind), though a strong foundation is not only good for you, but good for society, good for those around you.
Thanks for reading, and good day. |
Edited by - Divineis on Aug 09 2008 04:16:54 AM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2008 : 08:41:37 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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kundalini and schizophrenia (or a seperate mind)
