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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
 Posted - May 06 2008 : 01:08:08 AM
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Hi Everybody
I felt an anchor removed from my chest as I read arzkiyahai's post regarding support with ego death and everybody's reponses.
Thank You arzkiyahai, as your post has helped me to bring out my life long darkest experiences of fear/ reality / and serious concern, in hope to gain some clarity that can move me in a lighter direction.
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=3802#3802
I have been in the midst of a kundalini awakening for many years now
I feel as though I was born in this world nearly enlighted, however fear / ego / dark night of the soul has stopped the enlightenment mission I am sure. I feel this ego-death has been knocking on my door for some time now, as I have been suffering for 2 years with identity crisis, as well as intensified fear beyond self control at times.
I do self pace, ground & stabalize myself...
I am a tree, I walk, I began eating more chicken, I play with my children inside and out, I sit and enjoy wathing my beautiful Koi fish, I have reduced my meditation times as well as stopped for a few days, I have to wear a hat some days just to take care of my children. I purposely put myself in a completely different enviornment to be certain that the thought is as far out of my mind as possible, but yet, just hearing the word KUNDALINI or spiritual, just writing this right now, the pressure begins. The crown pressure and spacy feelings at one point used to hurt me, but they dont any longer.
I feel the need to stop the crown pressure activity, because as much brilliant white light I know I have within me, I know there is darkness within me as well. I know the darkness has entered due to many years of living in fear and not being knowledgable in auras or protection for myself.
Here is what I need help with... the experiences during meditation, are being simply witnessed.
But what about the other experiences, that do not occur during meditation?
Those are the experiences that keep me feared and anxious inside. Meditation, breathing and stillness has helped get a better handle on it - but what hapens when the IT has manifested into reality or has somewhat always been in the physical plane of my life? How does one handle that?
I dont just sit in a corner and shake, I envision myself getting filled with white light, I say the Lords prayer, I ask St Michael to come and help revoke any lost / dark soul to their highest good with no harm to anybody involved. I have even squashed (as much as possible) the three children's bickering among each other.
I would like to know if this is part of the normal process, my fear, ego death or the dark night of the soul that I hear about?
Things in my home move, we have electricity issues always, I hear voices that are not speaking so nicely, I have captured an energy entity on film - this energy begins to bother my children as they sleep. I have horrible nightmare that involve demons. I have seen my eyes become neon green and pupils yellow. As I meditate I have heard a definate outside of my mind, behind me grunt with heavy breathing. I do not even trust my own thoughts any more, because I wonder if they are my own. At one point in my life, I would of been described as a person who was loving, too sensitive, and wears my heart on my sleeve. Now I am finding so much anger towards my husband, who does not deserve my attitude or tone, and much impatience with everyday things. More recently, most terrifying and embarrassing to bring up... I was being "intimate" with my husband, the "connection" feeling between us was present, I was (pleasured) we switched to a different position, he gently grabbed my hair then immediately began to have an orgasm and at the same time I saw / felt my entire face - eyes teeth glow neon green.
I have the best days - then the most depressed days - I have been living like a yoyo for months now. I am feeling discouraged as I feel like I have come so far in fighting my fears, so grateful to have learned spinal breathing - it has leveled out all the kundalini energy burning I was experiencing for years, but yet I cannot seem to breakthough my "demon". Any insight or others experience would be much appreciated.
Living in love & light
Nancy
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Edited by - Nancy on May 06 2008 09:04:30 AM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 04:18:38 AM
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Nancy, the way I see it is if we do not recognize the demons or negative feelings as our own we will believe they are being posed on us from the "outside" and we will as a consequence become very afraid. If one passes through the darkness one looses the fear of it and it will in turn loose its power. If you on the other hand get frightened, it "lives" on that fear and will be able to eventually manifest in numerous different ways. But it will only exist in the dimension where it was created. If one changes "dimension"; moves to another "space"; or chose another perspective they will not exist anylonger. That is the same as: focusing on inner stillness and have faith that nothing can ever harm you (you are eternal and invulnerable) and that everything is ok the way it is.
Entities and demons have no power if you don't give it to them!
Love, emc |
Edited by - emc on May 06 2008 07:22:30 AM |
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 08:45:00 AM
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Hi, Nancy, the dark night of the soul can mean anything to anyone, but usually means that a person goes through a period of lack of faith after the purification of the senses and other spiritual phases or a re acclimation of what it means to perceive God, internally, instead of externally, as noted by St. John of the Cross. The complete writing is available online.
It's been theorized that there are people that bring the actual dream world into this reality by running the REM State into overdrive in an unhealthy way by the constant influx of unfulfilled thoughts. The mind is unable to handle these wish desires which are normally expressed/released/fulfilled within the dream state and so these voices/visual phenomenon are being played out in the real world, because of avoidance of reality.
When spiritual texts mention that the dream state is brought into reality it's not experienced as noted above, but is an actual process and establishing the witness usually takes years of practice and a new perception of reality or seeing the world or being fully immersed with no thought or other phenomenon, thereby going completely with the flow/Tao.
Jim gave you advice to ground experience and it seems you are just creating more problems for yourself and family. It may be best to forget about anything spiritual for a while and get back into life and out of your head. Everything else will work out and you'll be okay if you stop resisting. Spirituality is not about escaping reality, but transcending the temporal/false and getting in touch with the unchangeable/true aspect of who we are at the core, not attaching to phenomenon, but being fully immersed within reality.
I know this post may come across as direct, but you can handle it and have a good head on your shoulders. I was brought up within a similar superstitious household and it is nothing but a breeding ground for fear and you may be affecting your children who are subconsciously adopting this same type of superstitious/fear based belief system. And if they haven't already, they will. If everything is caused by something "out there" or it's an "entity" or a "demon" or "kundalini" then this is very unhealthy. And there are always going to be people that are going to support your belief. Maybe it will be a cult or another person that is unable to see what's happening for what it truly is, which is avoidance.
My kundalini awoke at a very young age and I never told my family, because I thought it was bad. I was plunged into this same fear and repressed a lot of my experiences due to this. I remember feeling energy move up my spine and begging God to take it away, since I thought it was evil, because it was unknown and I didn't understand it. If I did tell my family it wouldn't have mattered or been nurtured. Not that you hold this type of adopted religious ideology, but this type of misplaced fear mentality can be projected as something spiritual and that it's now okay, since it's kundalini symptoms that are affecting physical reality that no-one understands, and so this attachment is now masked/transferred under the guise that it's spiritual, so it's okay to attach to this phenomenon by avoiding reality - perceiving that people just aren't getting you or your experiences by continuing to search externally for those that will validate what you want to hear by avoiding what you know you need to hear. It doesn't have anything to do with people perceiving/believing what is going on isn't real or that you don't have the ability to affect physical reality. Again, refer to Jim's advice, to follow yogani's instruction to ground, since I can't stress this enough.
Anyway, I wish that someone would have been this direct with my family when I was young and maybe a lot of confusion and suffering would have been avoided and so now that I have the opportunity to do this for you, and your family, maybe it will be of some practical use.
Namaste:
VIL
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Edited by - VIL on May 06 2008 10:29:04 AM |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 09:06:03 AM
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Hi Nancy,
Persevere, according to your post you have experienced a lot of progress, sounds like you are headed in the right direction, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that it is just a matter of time for things to level out more completely.
As Yogani points out so often, less can be more, by decreasing your time in practices, you might find more emotional evenness and not the ups and downs you describe.
In regards to your glimpsing colours, it is very common to see energy fields, we all have them, don't feel the need to assign a life form or entity to it, simply see it as energy and that is where it ends.
The imagining mind will see all kinds of things if we indulge it. If we see something or think we see something, let it go and come back to what you are doing in the present moment. Focus on the beauty of your children or a tree instead?
Best of luck!
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 10:37:33 AM
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Hi Vil
Thank You for your post - I am able to follow most of it and have a question / statement. As you have stated below
quote:
Originally posted by VIL
Jim gave you advice to ground experience and it seems you are just creating more problems for yourself and family. It may be best to forget about anything spiritual for a while and get back into life and out of your head. Everything else will work out and you'll be okay if you stop resisting. Spirituality is not about escaping reality, but transcending the temporal/false and getting in touch with the unchangeable/true aspect of who we are at the core, not attaching to phenomenon, but being fully immersed within reality.
Yes Jim's advice has been helpful and followed - Although bringing that advice into the external experiences and phenomenon portion of my life was not something that clicked or that I apparently understood, until you have just reworded it. So thank you again.
You also stated
I know this post may come across as direct, but you can handle it and have a good head on your shoulders. I was brought up within a similar superstitious household and it is nothing but a breeding ground for fear and you may be affecting your children who are subconsciously adopting this same type of superstitious/fear based belief system. And if they haven't already, they will. If everything is caused by something "out there" or it's an "entity" or a "demon" or "kundalini" then this is very unhealthy. And there are always going to be people that are going to support your belief. Maybe it will be a cult or another person that is unable to see what's happening for what it truly is, which is avoidance..
The above portion of your reply hit my the heart pretty hard. You are RIGHT - in my heart of hearts I have always felt that the "demon" /fears have been manifestead soley by and through me, but yet the "belief system" instilled in me would then categorize me as doing the work of SATAN; and by far that is not what I am ... so it must be another force... DAM IT! - it is so F______ Frustrating at times!
I do appreciate your time more than you'll ever know.
Thank You
Nancy
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Edited by - Nancy on May 06 2008 10:39:46 AM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 1:46:42 PM
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Nancy, I can feel your frustration here. I don't know if what I have to say helps in any way, many have aldready written so much good posts here. But what I have come to discover is that there is no Satan and no hell. What is described as Satan is... nothing else than my own thoughts! Without my thoughts, everything is Love: natural and simple, peaceful and friendly.
If I build thought castles about evil deamons and devils... well.. then they show up very quickly in the strangest forms. By kissing them gently goodbye, acknowledging them as loving appearances of My Self, pure scenery to enjoy or be amazed at, they vanish quicker than they appeared.
Just remember, you are One, so everything in the whole Universe is Your Creation. Nice or not nice, what you define as good or bad... everything is just aspects of The Self.
All the best,
emc |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 3:31:34 PM
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"The imagining mind will see all kinds of things if we indulge it. If we see something or think we see something, let it go and come back to what you are doing in the present moment. Focus on the beauty of your children or a tree instead?"
In times like these... sometimes it's better to completely forget about "let go". Imbalances like this are often from too much let go. Think of it as Zen, just enough tension and relaxation. If a problem keeps coming up, if you've been distracting yourself from it a lot, try every once in a while to go into it, to just plain face it. The results basically always the same... you look at it/think it, there's nothing there, and you move on... though it's done naturally, rather than pushing and pulling the mind here and there.
If there was "too much" let go, you might feel a strong pull in the other direction. For example... sometimes I hear voices. I've tried the "just get in the moment, distract yourself" sort of stuff... it never helped all that much. Instead, sometimes, when they're especially bad, I'll go into it, i'll listen to what they're saying, I'll even pretend to buy into what they're saying.
Part of me used to say "nooooo" (by ignoring\distracting myself), I saw that as ridiculous, so I started saying "yes" (by facing, saying in my head "yes, this must be true"), and... I wouldn't even have to force myself to see that as just as ridiculous, but the no and the yes are needed sometimes, you know what I mean?
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 7:23:48 PM
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Thank You guys - I really get what you are saying - I have been able to simply witness and not be attached to any experiences good or bad, during meditation, but until now it never occured to me to try it out in the physical plane as well. There has been much truth posted by everyone here, and it all fits, and I am going to take everybody's advice. But come on guys... are all of you saying that there is no darkness in this world except for the darkness we create?
Thanks
Nancy |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2008 : 11:18:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Divineis
In times like these... sometimes it's better to completely forget about "let go". Imbalances like this are often from too much let go. Think of it as Zen, just enough tension and relaxation. If a problem keeps coming up, if you've been distracting yourself from it a lot, try every once in a while to go into it, to just plain face it. The results basically always the same... you look at it/think it, there's nothing there, and you move on... though it's done naturally, rather than pushing and pulling the mind here and there.
If there was "too much" let go, you might feel a strong pull in the other direction. For example... sometimes I hear voices. I've tried the "just get in the moment, distract yourself" sort of stuff... it never helped all that much. Instead, sometimes, when they're especially bad, I'll go into it, i'll listen to what they're saying, I'll even pretend to buy into what they're saying.
Part of me used to say "nooooo" (by ignoring\distracting myself), I saw that as ridiculous, so I started saying "yes" (by facing, saying in my head "yes, this must be true"), and... I wouldn't even have to force myself to see that as just as ridiculous, but the no and the yes are needed sometimes, you know what I mean?
I agree Divineis, people can certainly take letting go in the wrong direction and then it is no longer "letting go" but ends up being resisting or running away instead. These latter two tend to perpetuate the very things we want to avoid rather than serving to dissipate them. The measure if "letting go" is taking place is the emotional response we notice within. There is dispassion in letting go, it is matter of fact whereas resisting or running away is a reaction to fear.
I agree with you, saying "yes" as you put it and going into any kind of pain or emotional reaction or directly facing the life situation that is causing us to suffer is likely the most direct route to dissipate and help someone get past or "let go" of something. The only consideration from my perspective is that this can be overwhelming for someone when the level of emotional discomfort, like fear for example, is too intense.
Either way, the idea is to become present in the here and now and both methods will achieve this desired effect in time. Sometimes initially spending time by not giving any attention to something which causes us fear and focussing on the here and now, can allow it to dissipate enough so that we can one day jump in and face them. This is my favorite way too.
Of course this is what sitting practices are all about, so we continue to meditate and these things seem to take care of themselves.
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Edited by - Anthem on May 06 2008 11:20:49 PM |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2008 : 01:05:24 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Nancy
Thank You guys - I really get what you are saying - I have been able to simply witness and not be attached to any experiences good or bad, during meditation, but until now it never occured to me to try it out in the physical plane as well. There has been much truth posted by everyone here, and it all fits, and I am going to take everybody's advice. But come on guys... are all of you saying that there is no darkness in this world except for the darkness we create?
Thanks
Nancy
Hi Nancy
Without darkness, there would be no light. Without bad, there would be no good. It is essential to recognize this duality and rise above it by practicing detachment, realization of emptiness and compassion for all.
Now for the mudane level: This has been my experience (Reader's Digest Version):
At the time when I met Jesus and later received tongues from the Holy Ghost (20 years ago), whenever I said "I ask for love and protection from God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit" I would get tingles going through my body. At that time, I also learned "I bind you in the name of Jesus Christ" and "I pray the blood of Jesus over you". I still use these sayings today because they work.
This is the reason why I quit going to church (Victory Christian Centre):
One night, since Jesus loves to be sung to from the heart, I decided to sing in tongues to Jesus for 2 hours. It was a great session. After that, I went to bed. As I lay in bed a small boy floated up next to the bed. I said "who are you?". The boy said "what does it matter?". I said "I bind you in the name of Jesus Christ". At that point, the little boy popped/vanished and I could see a large demon head, with big green eyes, a long snout and large white teeth. The beast took a snap with it's jaws at me and then was whisked away!!!
After that experience, I talked to several people in the church about it and they all confirmed that there are demons or entities that hang around your bed at night and try to whisper things into your head. Well, I got so disgusted and kind of afraid as I kept asking myself "What if it is all true? Heaven, Hell, demons, etc"??? Yuk!! I couldn't believe this and so I decided to quit the church, retreat, gather my senses and reassess things.
However, I still hang on to my three sayings, because I still see demons/entities every now and then, or spirits or people when I meditate or focus on someone in my mind's eye. If I have the slightest suspicion that they are not from the highest, purest realms, or that they are trying to deceive me in any way, I bind them in the name of Jesus Christ. Sometimes, they 'poof' and then reveal their true appearance and are whisked away. If this doesn't happen, then they are real, or at least appear to be what they appear to be.
Perhaps, as discussed before in this thread, demons are thought forms that people have created by believing in them. Perhaps even all astral beings and higher entities are also thought forms. I don't know. But if something tries to deceive you by appearance, it can't be from a very high realm. Also, I don't feel bad about binding in the name of Jesus because Jesus knows how to deal with entities. 
Nowadays, even though I still use my protection sayings, I'm taking the buddhist point of view that everything is empty and that there is only awareness. In my meditations, I'm starting to see my own thoughts as they come to get me, so it is entirely possible that thought forms float around the vast void of awareness that encompasses all. But again, because I'm not enlightened, I get scared by a thought form just as easily as the real thing and I can't tell them apart. 
For the last two days I have had an enormous pressure right between my eyebrows, and this pressure has gone up to the crown a few times. It feels like a very strong magnetic pull of sorts. My inner sight is getting much clearer and my intuition is phenomenal. Yesterday when I used my third eye to see what was going to be in my mailbox, I saw a key with a blue plastic part attached. Sure enough, when I opened the mailbox, I had a key for the delivery compartment 2A. A book that I had ordered called "Clear Light of Bliss" was waiting for me! (wonderful book so far).
From what I've read after researching a couple days on the net is that pressure on the third eye means that the third eye (ajna) is opening and developing. It is supposed to take three days of high pressure on the third eye before it breaks and cracks wide open. I'm on day two now. Also, the "Clear Light of Bliss" says that the ajna (brow chakra) is actually connected to the crown first. So, I can see that there is a possibility that one sets the other off.
I'm thinking that everything is as it should be and developing fine. I'm not worried. I don't care that I fry hard drives at work. Who cares if my stereo no longer works properly. I like the heat! The tingles are fun, they make me feel alive. I hardly notice the rash or the constant ringing in my ears.
Smile! The bliss from smiling will speed your progress. You must mix bliss with emptiness.  I'm happy to be blessed with my developments and I'm thankful that God has allowed me to learn some of the mysteries of life. 
TI
P.S. Please pray for Ela. (thanks)
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Black Rebel Radio
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2008 : 06:28:06 AM
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Hi Nancy. There is an audio-book that I am listening to right now titled-Dark Nights of the Soul - A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life's Ordeals - by Thomas Moore. It is most excellent. It discusses the common journeys of the human spirit and methods for exploring and relating to your own "Dark Night of the Soul". The author is a therapist who uses examples from his own life and those of his patients to discuss the transformation that each and every one of us goes through (although in different degrees). He discusses the human experience from many different perspectives. He introduces methods for dealing creatively with these experiences (that compliments AYP and other Yoga practices). My experience has been overly dark for some time, despite my own self-pacing. It has been a comfort and enlightening to hear this author's ideas.
"What does the soul want?"
Cheers
Mac |
Edited by - Black Rebel Radio on May 07 2008 07:45:05 AM |
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2008 : 07:20:07 AM
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Hey, Nancy, I understand the frustration and we all deal with our own ups and downs. There are a lot of great posts from emc, Anthem11, Divineis, TI and BRR, so take what works for you. And TI I always enjoy your light hearted view on things and you have a natural charisma. So maybe it's kind of useless to recommend that you self-pace some of your experiences, but it is beneficial.
Namaste:
VIL |
Edited by - VIL on May 07 2008 07:50:16 AM |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2008 : 10:17:14 PM
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Hi everybody, I want to thank:
emc - Vil - Anthem11 - Divineis - Tibetan_Ice &
Black Rebel Radio, for supporting me,sharing your own experiences and giving helpful advice, I am in a much better place now, I just soaked in everybody's advice and backed away for a few days. Things make better sense and I am able to simply witness... ALL things - in meditation and out of meditation....the good - the bad - the ugly and I also realized that I am not jumpy...
On a different note... I had chaperoned my daughters class trip to Epcot on Thursday, I returned home at ten pm with much crown pressure that was becoming painful and creating me to somewhat not function as normal. I went and laid down and noticed that any little light that was coming through the windows or the night light was extremely irritating and found the need for it to be completely black, like I used to when I suffered migraines, anyway I made it completely black in my room, and just laid down, out of nowhere that I can conciously claim, I began saying a "made up" mantra in my head Aum, Gum, Drum, Rum, has anyone experienced just chanting out of no where and does what I was saying mean anything that anybody knows of???
I Am Putting Forth All the Love & Light in the World To All of You I am and will be ETERNALLY Grateful for this Forum and being apart of all of you.
Nancy |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2008 : 12:34:44 AM
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:) thanks for the warm words Nancy, it's nice to hear things are balancing themselves out for you :).
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2008 : 03:22:40 AM
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Wonderful to hear, Nancy! Things seem to happen very vigoruosly for you. That can be tiresome, but also very exciting and fun at times.
The automatic mantra chanting is known here, yes! I don't know about the meaning of your mantras, but it's good to know perhaps that the phenomenon is not unusual. |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2008 : 12:57:15 AM
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Hi There
I just wanted to give you guys an update....
I have not felt, seen, or been bothered by dead people or forces since my last post....
When I get out of my head, I am in control - When I am in my head, my mind is controlling me.
LOL... I just reread what I wrote above, and am cracking up hysterically because what doctor would not classify all of us as schizophrenic
But seriously I feel sooo much lighter living out of my head.. Does that mean I need to start looking for a job??
Living in Love & Light
Nancy |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4381 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2008 : 10:44:56 AM
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Hi Nancy,
quote:
Hi Everybody
I felt an anchor removed from my chest as I read arzkiyahai's post regarding support with ego death and everybody's reponses.
Thank You arzkiyahai, as your post has helped me to bring out my life long darkest experiences of fear/ reality / and serious concern, in hope to gain some clarity that can move me in a lighter direction.
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=3802#3802
I have been in the midst of a kundalini awakening for many years now
I feel as though I was born in this world nearly enlighted, however fear / ego / dark night of the soul has stopped the enlightenment mission I am sure. I feel this ego-death has been knocking on my door for some time now, as I have been suffering for 2 years with identity crisis, as well as intensified fear beyond self control at times.
I do self pace, ground & stabalize myself...
I am a tree, I walk, I began eating more chicken, I play with my children inside and out, I sit and enjoy wathing my beautiful Koi fish, I have reduced my meditation times as well as stopped for a few days, I have to wear a hat some days just to take care of my children. I purposely put myself in a completely different enviornment to be certain that the thought is as far out of my mind as possible, but yet, just hearing the word KUNDALINI or spiritual, just writing this right now, the pressure begins. The crown pressure and spacy feelings at one point used to hurt me, but they dont any longer.
I feel the need to stop the crown pressure activity, because as much brilliant white light I know I have within me, I know there is darkness within me as well. I know the darkness has entered due to many years of living in fear and not being knowledgable in auras or protection for myself.
Here is what I need help with... the experiences during meditation, are being simply witnessed.
But what about the other experiences, that do not occur during meditation?
Those are the experiences that keep me feared and anxious inside. Meditation, breathing and stillness has helped get a better handle on it - but what hapens when the IT has manifested into reality or has somewhat always been in the physical plane of my life? How does one handle that?
I dont just sit in a corner and shake, I envision myself getting filled with white light, I say the Lords prayer, I ask St Michael to come and help revoke any lost / dark soul to their highest good with no harm to anybody involved. I have even squashed (as much as possible) the three children's bickering among each other.
I would like to know if this is part of the normal process, my fear, ego death or the dark night of the soul that I hear about?
Things in my home move, we have electricity issues always, I hear voices that are not speaking so nicely, I have captured an energy entity on film - this energy begins to bother my children as they sleep. I have horrible nightmare that involve demons. I have seen my eyes become neon green and pupils yellow. As I meditate I have heard a definate outside of my mind, behind me grunt with heavy breathing. I do not even trust my own thoughts any more, because I wonder if they are my own. At one point in my life, I would of been described as a person who was loving, too sensitive, and wears my heart on my sleeve. Now I am finding so much anger towards my husband, who does not deserve my attitude or tone, and much impatience with everyday things. More recently, most terrifying and embarrassing to bring up... I was being "intimate" with my husband, the "connection" feeling between us was present, I was (pleasured) we switched to a different position, he gently grabbed my hair then immediately began to have an orgasm and at the same time I saw / felt my entire face - eyes teeth glow neon green.
I have the best days - then the most depressed days - I have been living like a yoyo for months now. I am feeling discouraged as I feel like I have come so far in fighting my fears, so grateful to have learned spinal breathing - it has leveled out all the kundalini energy burning I was experiencing for years, but yet I cannot seem to breakthough my "demon". Any insight or others experience would be much appreciated.
Living in love & light
Nancy
Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. I wouldn't worry too much about these things. Meditate, and be calm and you should gradually rise above your anxieties and fears. Also, as you raise your spiritual vibrations, lower entities will bother you less. The spirits you see and hear are real, and exist in a dimention close to the earth realm. As you progress spiritually, higher beings (from a more distand dimension) will become more interested in you and will visit more frequently, and these beings will help to dispel any darker forces.
Don't worry about the neon green light, this is an aspect of your light body and it is a good sign that you are seeing it. Anger is also normal and comes up from time to time as the 3rd chakra opens and suppressed feelings are cleared out.
Take it easy, and slowly and I am sure everything will be fine. Avoid alcohol if you can.
All the best,
Christi |
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Ego Death Help Part II / Dark Night Soul
