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BodhiTreeHugger
USA
8 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 11:14:10 AM
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Hello,
I got some energy stuck in my head and face by meditating too hard during a 10 day retreat. I didn't know that you were not supposed to imagine an upward flow :-(. It moves around and feels like an invisible octopus attacking me with its tentacles. I have been struggling with it for 4 months and it has created depression and anxiety and I lost my job. I have gotten most relief from accepting the situation as it is and focusing some attention whenever I remember on the heart or belly areas of my body. I seem to be learning very slowly how to relax and settle into myself or "ground". Any advice or practices to help deepen or quicken this process would be great. I get scared when I read online warnings about rising energy and having it stuck in the head producing insanity and early death.
Thank you. |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jan 16 2015 2:09:47 PM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 12:26:06 PM
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Hi BodhiTreeHugger
What practices are you doing at the moment and for how long have you been doing them? |
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Ecdyonurus
Switzerland
479 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 12:40:07 PM
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Hi, I can't recommend a practice, just wanted to say that people tend to write about bad experiences and don't report the positive ones. Hope you will find soon a solution to your current unpleasant situation.  |
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BodhiTreeHugger
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 1:39:14 PM
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My current practices are shamatha, vipassana, shikantaza, thogal, mindfulness, imagining a descending energy flow, focus on the heart and gut areas of the body, relaxing, being, allowing, accepting, letting go, emptiness, contemplation of no self, impermanence and suffering. I also jog and play sports, take vitamins and medications and am eating more vegetables and cutting out sugar, alcohol, pot, wheat, dairy, sex, masturbation, porn.
I started yoga and meditation 3 years ago, had my first glimpse of awakening 1 year ago and have been practicing real meditation now for 4 months.
I feel that I need to add more helping others and socializing but am caught up trying to heal myself I guess. |
Edited by - BodhiTreeHugger on Jan 16 2015 2:09:02 PM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 2:09:47 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 4:24:36 PM
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Hello BodhiTreeHugger
Yes, accepting the situation is the right way to go. A lot of the unpleasantness you experienced is probably due to fear and fighting the sensation/energy. It deserves a mindfulness treatment, like all the other thoughts, sensations and emotions you experience.
I would recommend spinal breathing pranayama, I'm just not sure how it would fit with your existing practice. I don't know if it's a good idea to combine your current practice with an AYP technique - it certainly needs careful consideration. If you do decide to explore spinal breathing, it is explained in Lesson 41
And if you want to to add it to your daily routine, then you must also read about self-pacing, because it would add a lot of power to your practice. It might be necessary to drop some of your existing practices in order to avoid an energy overload.
Then again, it is probably more prudent to ask for advice from somebody who practises the same system as you.
I hope you will feel better soon. |
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BodhiTreeHugger
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 10:56:47 PM
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Thank you! Your compassion is comforting.
I keep thinking that perhaps there is meaning in the sensations. That once I figure out the particular thought that causes them, I can learn to prevent them from happening. Maybe they are from craving or aversion of some sort. Maybe they are a blessing because they let me know when I am on the wrong track mentally. Or maybe they just happen randomly!?!!? WHat is the physical cause? Muscle tension? Nerve impulses? Hallucination? Who knows?
I used to really let them bother me and get into a foul mood over them. I realized that ever time I fought them, I got into a horrible mood and raised my anxiety level. I started really practicing mindfulness. First of sensations, then thoughts, then emotions, and then last night I started practicing mindfulness of what I will call "mood". Essentially, I noticed I was in a bad mood, annoyed by the sensations and I just said to myself "I am in a bad mood, annoyed by sensations." I LET myself be in a bad mood. It was amazing the transformation that soon happened. I let go of the mood. It seemed like for once I could choose not to be bothered by the sensations! I had a realization that to ever want anything other than exactly what is... is to torture oneself. To want even a hair on my head to be a millimeter longer is to choose suffering. Mindfulness of mood allowed me to surrender, drop my resistance, accept the sensations. It truly was a miracle. It is amazing how complex the mind is. Keeping up with it and keeping in front of it, not letting it get the resistance it depends on to gain control right now feels like tap dancing on a landmine, but I am learning to dance! My energy has been improved by at least 15% the past few weeks as my mindfulness is increasing, and it seems like I am healing and headed for recovery from depression and anxiety. I know I will have further setbacks, but I won't resist them anymore. Resistance is futile, and painful. Much more painful than depression, anxiety or death. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 06:05:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by BodhiTreeHugger
I keep thinking that perhaps there is meaning in the sensations. That once I figure out the particular thought that causes them, I can learn to prevent them from happening.
I doubt you will get anywhere along this line. This is just mind stories and the mind will create an endless supply of them. Be aware of them, but do not identify your Self with them.
quote:
Originally posted by BodhiTreeHugger
I noticed I was in a bad mood, annoyed by the sensations and I just said to myself "I am in a bad mood, annoyed by sensations." I LET myself be in a bad mood. It was amazing the transformation that soon happened.
You got it. If you apply mindfulness to all the contents of the mind - whatever label you put on them, be it emotions, moods, thoughts etc. you will become free of them. Meditation is of course essential - it is meditation that develops the witness/inner silence, from where you will be able to see the contents of the mind for what they are and stop identifying yourself with them.
Best wishes |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Jan 17 2015 07:20:23 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2202 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 06:17:36 AM
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| Mindfulness and compassion with yourself has put you on the healing path. Keep up with grounding techniques (getting out in nature, socializing, volunteering, heavier diet are a few). Yogani said in one of these lessons kundalini energy really wants to flow from you into the environment; try to facilitate any stuck energy in its quest to do so. Good luck! |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 07:21:55 AM
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Well said Dogboy  |
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BodhiTreeHugger
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 1:33:15 PM
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| Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with nightmares again. Happens multiple times per night every night. Then I noticed the energy was moving down into the body and I was having visions of past traumas. I decided to go sit on the cushion and let it happen. Energy was unraveling. It seemed to be twisting out of my left upper chest area. Not sure what is there as the heart is in the center no? Images of past mistakes, rejections, embarassments, scary situations started flooding my mind. I remembered a time when I was away at marine biology camp in second grade where some drunk counselor came into our dorm room and started screaming and bangning a broomstick on the floor and threatening to kill us. I guess we were up late giggling or something. Then he grabbed me out of the bed and made me clean his bathroom, then he sat out on some stairs with me and apologised (while drinking a beer) and begged me not to tell anyone. I never told anyone. Then I remembered missing the spelling on a word in the spelling bee, a girl I liked rejecting me, being taken out of a private school I loved and put into a public school where I got beat up a lot. I remembered later on when I forgot what love was and started lying to women to have sex with them. Saying "I love you" when I didn't mean it. I felt energy unraveling from my throat as I remembered how much lying I did. My whole body is sore today but it seems I can breathe a bit more easily. Still, I feel tension returning. It isn't like this is the first time I have remembered all of that stuff. I thought I was past it already. What is happening to me? Why does this happen and how can I get all the way through it? How can I let go of all the past trauma for good? Do I have to remember it all and re-live it again? Is there something I have to do or just keep meditating and being mindful and aware of the whole body and get my emotions flowing smoothly and functioning properly again and it will all resolve on its own? I am 40 years old. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 2:37:47 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BodhiTreeHugger
I thought I was past it already. What is happening to me? Why does this happen and how can I get all the way through it? How can I let go of all the past trauma for good? Do I have to remember it all and re-live it again? Is there something I have to do or just keep meditating and being mindful
Dear BodhiTreeHugger,
My advise (experience) is keep meditating and being mindful. Remember that you are the witness of your thoughts .... It is not easy but surrender to the feelings and emotions that come up, let yourself completely drown in those feelings, it takes time, and sometimes it looks like you take a step back and suddenly you notice a big step forward..... Meditate, SURRENDER, be the witness of your thoughts, they are not you and not true. I wish you inner silence |
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Dogboy
USA
2202 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 2:38:22 PM
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Dear BTH
You are purifying, no doubt about it. These past episodes still are packing a punch and aren't through with you (or you with them). Within these episodes if you can shelve fear and be with whatever boils up, you will be on the right track. This should over time reduce their presence in you.
Sorry to hear of your troubles. |
Edited by - Dogboy on Jan 17 2015 2:39:27 PM |
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LittleTurtle
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 2:59:28 PM
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| I think there is a fine line between being mindful and witnessing the old thoughts and emotions and past trauma verses ruminating. Thoughts and emotions are creative and will keep perpetuating themselves. If you think of an old pain from the past before you know it you are back into that pain, it re-creates again and again. Be careful. Witnessing/surrendering vs ruminating. Accept pain from the past then tell it goodbye and let it go. Else there will be no end to it. |
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BodhiTreeHugger
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 3:28:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by LittleTurtle
I think there is a fine line between being mindful and witnessing the old thoughts and emotions and past trauma verses ruminating.
Very very true.
In the past somehow I took on the bad habit of not feeling my emotions, and instead shunting them off into rumination and body tension. I am just now at age 40 starting to learn what it means to actually feel and accept emotions and let them pass through. I have no one to guide me. Is there a book or anything about how to go from phony-robot mode to human-emotion mode? I don't even really know what an emotion is! |
Edited by - BodhiTreeHugger on Jan 17 2015 3:30:18 PM |
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LittleTurtle
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2015 : 3:52:31 PM
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| I'm in my 60s. I had an extremely bad childhood and youth. Not as bad as some but hard enough and I was a very sensitive child so that made everything even harder to deal with. I made a 'fix-it' project out of myself and at some point probably in my late 40s I finally realized how I was recreating my past issues by thinking about them, usually during stressful or unhappy times. Yoga meditation has been very helpful for me in cultivating the witness state, which comes and goes still. But despite apparently going deep during meditation, that peace would only stay with me for a short time after, even after decades of meditation in one form or another. Then I found studying Eckhart Tolle's teachings (the Power of Now - i think i've either read or listened to it about 12 times) were a blessing for me as I began to see how the thinking mind works, as well as recognizing the discerning mind verse ego mind. I'm still workin' on it but now I'm way more peaceful inside and I seldom think of the past traumas, at least a lot less than I used to. The trick is to recognize that mental tipping point where your thoughts are not helping. It's a process, like all the rest of yoga. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2015 : 06:59:45 AM
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Dear BodhiTreeHugger
I am sure you are – and have always been – as much human as everyone else. Shunning emotions, ruminating and holding tension in the body are mistakes we all make. But you are learning from them, so I hope you will come to accept and love that part of your life, pain and all.
I can add a title to the reading LittleTurtle has already suggested: “Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world” by Mark Williams & Danny Penman
You may find a lot of it to be common sense, so better borrow it than buy it if you can.
I think meditation is your best friend. You have come thus far with it and it will take you through the difficult times. As the Witness/Inner Silence develops, mindfulness becomes your natural state of being.
All the best |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2015 : 9:03:48 PM
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Hello BodhiTreeHugger
I have gone through similar situtation and still going through some of it. My advise is to do just mindful meditation without any mantra or any formal technique. Just sit and let the thoughts flow. Surrender to everything what is happening. Also do lot of walking not heavy exercise just lot of walking. Also eat what is your best intution is. Don't force to any diet. As you develop the witness and connection then just get the knowledge from the source what you need to eat. Going through the past trauma is washing a dirty cloth. Everytime you releases it some part of it will go. Just going deep and releasing is the only way to get rid of past Karma. So meditation is the key. Remember one thing you will definitely feel better day by day just be you during mindful meditation.
Blessings
PKJ |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2015 : 9:23:34 PM
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One more thing do the full body massage with olive oil as it helps lot in the flow of energy.
Blessings
Pkj |
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NewbieGG
Bulgaria
52 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 12:20:01 PM
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Hello friend , I am going through the same thing ...so what I have learned is : don't analyse too much - there is no problem to be solved , there is problem to be lived . Your system is not used and it is not ready to the higher voltage that you unleashed by doing yoga and meditation .What I can assure you by experience is - there will be relieve, week after week you will feel better and easier . The negative energy feeling will transform in fine ecstasy . What you need now is more life and less yoga . The right way of living and eating is yoga anyway. Be active , work , interact with any kind of people cut your practices almost to zero ( it is very important - almost zero , not zero ) . Do some heavy eating , do some sex , do not keep purify your self when you barely hold that much energy . Think less , live more .
Also Ecdyonurus is very very right . You read only the worry reports , because the people that improved already , are not wasting time in forums , they are just living happily their lives .I will report now ! Read my older "worry "posts if you want , then read this :
I FEEL EASY AND HAPPY AND IT'S GETTING BETTER EVERY DAY . MY LIFE IS JUST FINE :) :) :)
good luck and don't worry
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 4:12:26 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by NewbieGG
the people that improved already , are not wasting time in forums , they are just living happily their lives
 Really GG, that's the reason why we hang around the AYP forum, you think? Because we haven't got a life? |
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NewbieGG
Bulgaria
52 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 02:29:24 AM
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| Blue, we all know that you are the incarnation of mother Teresa , so the reasons for you hangin around are clear , I hope there is no serious lack of life :) |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 06:06:26 AM
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Now you're just being silly GG 
And no, I wasn't thinking particularly of myself. There are people on this forum who have been contributing for many years. Let's not trivialise their motives. |
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NewbieGG
Bulgaria
52 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 07:50:21 AM
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 09:46:22 AM
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Topic |
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Energy Stuck in Head
