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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 30 2012 : 12:12:49 PM
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Been experiencing semi-abiding non-dual awareness every day on and off for past 2 weeks.
This statement is not entirely accurate, because there is no I who's been doing experiencing, there has just been experiencing itself. Furthermore, non-dual awareness is not an experience, it's just all there is, at all time, you simply need to remove perceptual blinders and it becomes apparent.
It's like looking at an optical illusion. For example Young Lady / Old Lady: http://www.moillusions.com/2006/05/...old-hag.html
One moment you see a person perceiving a world, the next all there is are arisings within non-dual awareness and no division between self/other, subject/object.
There have been 'emotional by-products' - completely enraptured for long periods of time by stuff like watching a leaf, or butterflies dancing, absolute relief (the sort of relief that happens when you have a stomach bug, and you are vomiting, and then you vomit everything up, and you feel totally better and even euphoric, you're like "Thank God for that! I feel better"), and total absence of even subtlest forms of anger (like getting a tiny bit annoyed if someone pushes into you on the street).
Path leading up this:
-First real step I ever took on this path was to acknowledge that after 5 years of reading and listening to different gurus, and very regular spiritual practices, loads of hard work, and intense bhakti, I still had no idea what on earth enlightenment was. I asked my first truthful questions: What is enlightenment? Rather than just accepting what I'm told, how do I know if I'm making progress? How can 'progress' be measured?
-Shortly thereafter I got Jed McKenna's books, which were like a violent slap in the face, just what I needed. Jed defined enlightenment as 'abiding non-dual awareness', and said all you need to do for it, is to lock yourself away for about a year or so, and ask yourself, What is True? Relentlessly, until you know (or at least, until you unlearn everything that you ever believed)
A few pointers that might be really helpful (would've been to me):
-Non-dual awareness is all there is. There is never a time when you are not experiencing non-dual awareness. I'd venture to say that the only thing preventing you from feeling like this is true, is simply a belief system that your mind applies to your process of perceiving, which makes you feel like there's a separate self in an external world, a subject/object divide. There never is, never was, a subject/object divide in your experience.
-You've never, ever, experienced a division between self and other. You only imagine that you do. Neither have you ever directly experienced an external world or anything that you can definitely say exists outside of consciousness.
-Therefore, if non-dual awareness is already true, is it an attainment or a state? No. You simply need eliminate what is not true, to get to it.
-what non-dual awareness is not: Non dual awareness is not a mystical experience. It's not a state. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with positive emotions (although in my experience those feelings were by-products). I don't think you require years of meditation to experience it, at least a good convincing glimpse. In fact, you might sit on a mat and do karma yoga for an entire lifetime and be stuck imagining that there's a subject/object division, if you didn't question your beliefs and ask what is true.
-Fearlessly asking "what is true?" about everything you've ever believed, in my view is the most powerful and rapid form of purification you can undergo: not as a meditation, not as some kind of mantra, but as something where you actually try and write down answers, argue for and against yourself, call yourself out on your own bullsh1t, and eliminate everything you believe, until all your left with is direct experience of "WHAT IS" and no perceptual blinders or interpretations.
-the spin Jed Mckenna put on Ramana Maharshi's self inquiry "Who Am I?" is that it's not something you release in silence, or something you meditate on, it's actually something where you write down your answers. And then you test them, and see if they can really, actually be true. then you write down more answers. And you keep going, and keep testing yourself, and keep relentlessly looking and testing and seeing what is true, until you eliminate all the mountains of delusion that keep you imagining you're a separate self.
Jed takes an extreme approach, and truth, quite frankly, is frightening. When you start getting really deep and honest, it's scary. But for me this was the fastest route to waking up from the delusion of being a person/separate self.
As a note, inner silence definitely does help. I do this self inquiry process meditatively. And yes, the mind can't go there. Thoughts are just arisings in awareness anyway. However, my impression from Yogani (if I didn't misunderstand) was that you kind of passively release the questions in stillness and in time the realization may come. Jed's approach is an active approach, really seeing how all beliefs are false, and then setting all your belief systems on fire, and stamping on the ashes.
What can be more Sacred than the Truth?
He's not very heart-centred, and thinks heart has nothing to do with enlightenment. That's a limited view IMO, but his approach is extremely rapid. Although the truth has become apparent, my body mind still thinks and acts on behalf of a separate self sometimes (ok quite often! ;-), and the delusion of subject/object still reoccurs, so I continue with AYP, retreats with non-dual teachers, and Jed's spiritual autolysis until I know I'm completely done. I believe there's probably an infinite deepening of this dissolution.
I do feel like most spiritual paths should actually begin with eliminating everything that prevents you from realizing that all there is is non-dual awareness, and go from there. Otherwise they can simply become another tool for promulgating illusion. |
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2012 : 3:06:17 PM
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Very nice Mr. Anderson.
Mckenna's methods and writings, particularly autolysis and momento-mori, are very intense and effective, as you point out.
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
He's not very heart-centred, and thinks heart has nothing to do with enlightenment. That's a limited view IMO, but his approach is extremely rapid.
Agreed. 
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
I do feel like most spiritual paths should actually begin with eliminating everything that prevents you from realizing that all there is is non-dual awareness, and go from there. Otherwise they can simply become another tool for promulgating illusion.
On this point, I resonate more with an approach that cultivates the witness first. Otherwise, the "granddaddy of all breakdowns", as Jed puts it in "Spiritual Warfare", could look something like what "Julie" and other characters in his books experience. That is, a complete breakdown of not only the character, but also family life, career... etc.
If the witness is cultivated first, then at least one has a "leg to stand on" as the breakdown occurs.
Just some thoughts...
For anyone interested, the following YouTube clips based on Jed Mckenna's writings give some insight into this approach.
Jed McKenna discusses his Awakening
Paradox: A Poem by Jed McKenna (Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing)
Death ALWAYS Delivers
[img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
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Edited by - chas on Aug 30 2012 4:19:33 PM |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2012 : 5:05:54 PM
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| Hey Chas. Agreed actually. Since the witness was very strongly cultivated before I began on this, it's been more of a breakthrough than a breakdown. But hey, I'd be happy with either. ;-) |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2012 : 6:36:15 PM
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Very nice Josh, thanks for sharing.
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
It's like looking at an optical illusion. For example Young Lady / Old Lady: http://www.moillusions.com/2006/05/...old-hag.html
One moment you see a person perceiving a world, the next all there is are arisings within non-dual awareness and no division between self/other, subject/object.
Funny synchronicity! That example is something I've used too..
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
-what non-dual awareness is not: Non dual awareness is not a mystical experience. It's not a state. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with positive emotions (although in my experience those feelings were by-products).
Yes, this is very critical to know - that it isn't some mystical experience. Of course, it can be an explosive shift, but most often, a subtle and quiet shift..
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
Jed takes an extreme approach, and truth, quite frankly, is frightening. When you start getting really deep and honest, it's scary.
Why scary?
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
I do feel like most spiritual paths should actually begin with eliminating everything that prevents you from realizing that all there is is non-dual awareness, and go from there. Otherwise they can simply become another tool for promulgating illusion.
I have felt this too.. However, the concept of non-duality is difficult to grasp, even though that is all there is. Yogani's description of "ripeness" has been very apt, at least for me. Even though I grew up with some knowledge of Advaita, it didn't "click" until it did. The factors for the "clicking" can be speculated upon in hindsight by a lot of us, but it does finally come down to Grace. As I've heard many teachers say, practices such as meditation are to enable us to "be home" when Grace happens. All in perfect timing anyways..
Thanks for recommending Jed McKenna, Josh and Chas; must look into it!
Love,
kami |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2012 : 9:42:58 PM
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Well, I think what is scary is the total absolute realization that: a) all you know of a body/mind and a person is perceptions arising in awareness b) there's no control. For me, there's been a total letting go of all agendas. There was some sort of effort before to get the separate self to conform to a certain 'spiritual' standard of behavior. There was also a sense that this entity had some sort of control. Both are gone, there's total surrender now. No trying to make the ego be a better ego, it just only does what it wants to do. No living up to imaginary standards. And total realization, that it's no more than an image on a screen. Like Nisargadatta said "you come to disregard your desires and fears, concepts and ideas and live by truth alone".
What I feel right now is just an overwhelming neutrality. It's like I let go of everything I ever wanted or cared about. There's just neutral, empty space. No struggle or strain. I expect something will come in to fill the emptiness, maybe some love :-) Right now, it's a phase of just emptying out.
Jed is very worth listening to Kami! Check out his first Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment book.
Yes Yogani is right about ripeness, I'm sure. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2012 : 04:51:10 AM
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 you are at the edge of it now. It's like composing yourself for a high dive, everything is settled, there is no awkwardness just poised. It's a wonderful time, just before you fall from the tree, from then on you will always be falling  falling without end, out of time and space, neither caught by the gravity of attachment or rejecting it, in free fall without need of walls and floors. Enjoy. |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2012 : 08:37:39 AM
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| That sounds rather nice. Feel like all seen, all perceptions are a garment adorning empty stillness, or a reflection in a pool of water. Feel neither "body mind happiness" or "body mind sadness", rather the complete and total absence of stress. Nothing but being where I am, where is always here, always now. Realize it has always been just consciousness looking through my eyes. Nobody ever here. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2012 : 12:25:25 PM
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| Yes, there is nothing at the core and and around is wrapped perception. The core is already flying already free. |
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non-dual etc
