|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
shades
Sweden
35 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 05 2012 : 4:50:35 PM
|
I want to share a part of my story.
Started to meditate when I was around 17, that is 5-6 years ago. A few years into my practice these wierd movements of my head started to occur. I loved my meditation...but these movements begun to really disturb the practice. Not long after, they got so frequent that I could not concentrate, also they scared me.
One of the first experiences with meditation was beautiful. I sunk deep to the music (sounds of a Buddhistic monastery) and there I found a peace I never thought existed before. This kept my pracitice going and after a regular routine, daily, alot changed almost unnoticed. School was different, people was different...I was blessed.
A few years into this, things got shaky. Started to loose myself into my meditation, my family got kind of alien, so to speak. Remember that I used to visit my brother often, I meditated at his place...did not want to miss out on the tranquility. Anyhow, these movements came and after some directions from a forum...I acctually decided not to continue. Even if I got recommended alternative practice.
About a year passed, over all without meditation. Inner pain was then harrassing me. I couldn't think, not sleep, not read. I saw red, almost literally. Pain everywhere I looked. One night I gave up, and in to these odd movements of my body. Such peace followed even if I was scared...such forbidden bliss. That night I slept better then the night before. Movements grew and I was doing some form of yoga by letting my body speak. When someone asked what kind of yoga I did, I couldn't answer.
In the summer of 2010 I was almost giving up on life. Two inches away from throwing my life away and never to return. I had a nice apartment, going to a school with okay people. My family was...I can't recall...they have never been stable. No one wanted to listen, and I didn't care. Only one human did so, without apparent reason. She talked to me, and listened to whatever I had to say. She told me about her family, her daughter, her husband. She taught me how to contact my spirit guide and yes there my guide was. It was exciting, and new. I wanted to live! More then earlier at least.
Until something happend. It was not the me, the one everybody knew, that wanted to keep living. Something else could only persist. My spirit guide called from "the other side", a flash...and I was dead. I could not recall that I was. But something in me died. My family noticed, my friends did. There was no one left to be angry at, to speak about, to talk to when someone was needed as a friend.
"Come home", she said.
And I did.
Now a few years have passed since that summer. I am still here, but there is not much difference. I have travelled, met many people. No one was there to meet me. We had already met. I was pulled, back and forth...and nothing ever happened.
How I got here I can't tell, because there was no before, and there is no tomorrow.
Where is my childhood? Where is my family? No one is here to explain. I exist, but I can't remember anything. Whatever I create is already made, and no matter what will be...I am fine. 'Till the day I close my eyes once more and cross the borders again I never stop. There is no one stopping, and no one to stop.
Only time can stop and when time stops, there I am.
Thanks for reading,
Shades |
Edited by - shades on Feb 05 2012 10:07:02 PM |
|
|
knowsoul
13 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2012 : 8:22:58 PM
|
"How I got here I can't tell, because there was no before, and there is no tomorrow."
Very intresting |
 |
|
|
shades
Sweden
35 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 10:35:39 AM
|
| The meaning of this might be that time is something we percive not necessarily the reality. You could call it part of reality. |
|
|
|
gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 10:52:30 AM
|
Hi Shades
Are you happy with your situation now? |
|
|
|
vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 11:27:57 AM
|
Hi Shades,
You are having kundalini awakening and that is yoga what you are doing is called automatic yoga.You also seem to had death of ego(s).I suggest you could try Spinal breathing pranayama from the main lessons.Here is the link http://www.aypsite.com/41.html
Love n Light
Viji |
|
|
|
gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 11:39:31 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by vijikr
Hi Shades,
You are having kundalini awakening and that is yoga what you are doing is called automatic yoga.You also seem to had death of ego(s).I suggest you could try Spinal breathing pranayama from the main lessons.Here is the link http://www.aypsite.com/41.html
Love n Light
Viji
Hi Viji
Would I be right in my understanding that Deep Meditation should be done after Spinal Breathing in order that the seed of Silence is sown in the furrow? |
|
|
|
vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
|
|
gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 12:07:51 PM
|
Thanks Viji |
|
|
|
shades
Sweden
35 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 2:58:15 PM
|
| Thanks but I am not doing "automatic yoga". What I shared is mostly from the past, right now I am practising deep meditation and the first stage of spinal breathing. For now that works for me, and I can say that I'm living my life according to myself and that also works. |
|
|
|
shades
Sweden
35 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 3:55:31 PM
|
| im not sure, sometimes it feels like I am the one doing these movements. |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
A part of my life story
