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KundaNewb
USA
49 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 16 2011 : 2:20:04 PM
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Hi,
I just wanted to introduce myself to what looks like an open-minded forum. I've been practicing kundalini meditation and other related miscellaneous inner explorations for about two weeks now and in the last two days have had two very mind-blowing rapturous experiences. The only reason I doubt they are full kundalini awakenings is because I have not experienced any kind of cosmic consciousness or god-like awareness. However, I'm truly in awe of the power I've tapped into.
My two experiences are 100% positive. The 2nd was yesterday and was just pure cosmic ecstasy... the absolute maximum; nothing in the world compares to it. Basically, I was f***** by G0d... (and that's coming from an atheist!). I was completely filled all the way up to my brain with the flame wiggling and working it's way through every part of me loosening blockages I guess. Thank god there were no hidden cameras spying on me because I would have appeared to be possessed or something ;o) And this continued for as long as I wanted it to with different phases. Even after I thought it was over, a new relaxing phase began where I just, through the breath, drank-in the ecstasy. I drank and drank and drank and drank as much as I wanted from an infinite source. Every breath was so pleasurable (D/M/T production in the lungs?). It was like my spine was breathing-in this ecstatic energy. Then, I visualized myself as manifesting in a dimension of a god who was doing the you-know-what to me. He/She was a huge flame and I was just a little entity caught on a tiny part of that flame receiving his/her love/energy/etc.. Then, I visualized other gods taking joy in seeing this new lower entity "dance" (more like quivering) in ecstasy for all of them to see. Then, they came and caressed me and it tickled me greatly. F'ING A!
Man, am I really going to be able to enjoy this for the rest of my life???!!! I've only just begun! Kinda crazy. And, this was not spontaneous, but purposeful and directed by me! But, at one point, I told myself that I need to make (allow) the experience to happen to me, instead of me making it happen. I had to let something else take control. So, I did and something definitely did take over. Even though I am an atheist, I do believe in something like a Christ Consciousness inside of us. Intuitively, it seems like the reason you should stay pure and maintain pure thoughts is because when things take over, you can cling to the Christ in case you get a little scared. Christ is an archetype of an all powerful, but completely safe and protecting god which is why I think it is a wise choice when the experience starts happening very fast and is too much for the Ego to handle. Just let go and cling to Christ and everything will be OK. But, I'm just a newb and that's my own personal working theory and I haven't had any scary moments at all. The 1st experience I was a little started as the kundalini was rushing up into my chest area and heading for my head, but I just told myself to let go and let him enter me. Actually, it didn't seem like me talking. It seemed like Christ I guess. He was reassuring me.
I know that I should be cautious of being distracted by this pleasure if I want to stay on the white tantra path, which seems like the wisest.
Also, after the 1st experience day before yesterday, I instantly realized that there is NO WAAAAY the world is ready of this kind of knowledge. The world is WAAAAY too ignorant, prejudicial and closed-minded. Maybe in a million years or so.
Anyway, that's my story thus far. I'm probably going to have tons of questions soon and this seems like a good place to start.
Thanks for listening and comments are welcome! |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 3:24:10 PM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2011 : 3:42:48 PM
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welcome to the forum KundaNewb
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KundaNewb
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 02:28:16 AM
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| good bye AYP. I barely knew thee. |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 08:42:20 AM
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KundaNewb,
Sorry to hear you are leaving. Stop by again if you ever want to talk. Appreciated your energy.
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 12:00:52 PM
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Sad to hear, we would've loved you to stay here with us. You seem like someone who would fit in real good in here over the long term... Hope to see you get back on that decision... You can always drop by whenever you feel like it...
Love,
Ananda |
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Ichigo
Israel
66 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 1:36:51 PM
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| Why are you leaving so suddenly? I though you merged quite well.. |
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 6:37:18 PM
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Maybe he expected more than a welcoming, I don't know (and I don't see any wrong in just welcoming him :P)
whew you're going through a lot :)
I think most of the people had some really crazy experiences over here but me for example I couldn't say too much about it maybe this is why there's not too much said about it
Nah you know I usually wouldn't as I don't share too much with the forum since my goal is to get into it instead of talking about past experiences so much but I think maybe you'd like to hear
See I was lying down on the floor and this energy was immense, I don't remember too much and I don't have any time feeling for it like this happened and THEN that et cetera
But One thing I remember and you might be somehow interested in is
As the Energy reached to my chest area I could feel my heart being filled more and more and suddenly I heard a voice deep inside of me saying: Let god into your heart and he will illuminate it. And I KNEW this was jesus somehow intuitively. Well I don't know if it reall was good old jesus the person or if it just came to be Jesus because I've heard some things about him (so that the energy would just take that form so it fits me well)
But when the voice said that I could recognize this voice being jesus christ. Right when these words were spoken I could see (or visualise, but not on purpose) with eyes closed a lightbeam shooting into my heart and BOOOM it f'kin exploded! Oh my, that was truly amazing :)
It didn't stop there but this is one the experiences I abrely talk about because I don't know what that was and people who are spiritual seekers usually don't want to hear that story since they feel like: "oh yea alright, so you think you've seen the light? screw you only I will see it only I CAN see it. It's just me and my beloved gurus no one else especially not you dude! You aren't blissfull right now it had to be a lie. Don't bother me with your hallucinations" :D (Or at least that's how I feel some of them are responding from what I see in their behaviour. I just wish someone could help me do something with that experience, integrate it or heck do I know but nah it's not so important after all :P)
I really hope you stay here 'cause I enjoy reading you |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 01:57:21 AM
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Beautiful Experience Escapado... A nice heart opening
Almost every human being goes through such experiences at one time or the other in their life... Not only people who have gurus and are in an esoteric path...
It's good to share and discuss about such experiences but the best attitude is not to get attached to them or seek other peak experiences like them.
To be honest, we could candle this as much as we'd like to but since you've enjoyed it already when it happened and it was a beautiful opening... Better not get so attached to it it's just an experience. We call it scenery here at AYP... A flower you meet on the road, just smell it and walk on. I go through such experiences almost everyday... Imagine if I would get stuck to anyone of them.... I would simply be living in my head and not enjoying the new ones when they come. Just smell the flowers and keep on walking...
On the other hand I am pro sharing this stuff in the open and shedding some light on them especially since they are as special and powerful as this experience of yours. They bring to us the light of mystic and inspire us to go deeper inwards...
Hope you don't go away also cause I enjoy reading you
Love,
Ananda |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 07:55:48 AM
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Ananda wrote:
"Almost every human being goes through such experiences at one time or the other in their life... Not only people who have gurus and are in an esoteric path..."
Very interesting, A. I hadn't thought of that before, but it's true. Also glad to hear you go through a lot of them, so I know it's normal. . .wouldn't want to be getting more than my share.  |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 10:57:16 AM
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| loll Cheers bro! |
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yogesh
USA
153 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 11:09:47 AM
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You'll be back !
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 6:17:23 PM
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the experience as a whole wasn't an experience it was dropping out of experiences. It should've ended after that :D But maybe it was just an "initiation" to meditation since I have wasted so much time trying to meditate not getting what it really is while this experience showed me this and even more
And I agree on that scenery thingy, just go on and on and on don't stop it's not about the experience it's about the going and by going I mean going deeper into0 that what is not further :D |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 7:41:15 PM
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Dear, such openings are usually considered by some as initiations from higher beings and as heart openings to something new... So yes deep meditation would usually become "more" afterwards It seems like you've had a true glimpse... Good to have a taste of the mystique... But let's keep in mind that only God knows God/ Truth knows itself. What we as ego realize is that we don't really know anything. Just enjoy the ride with both it's ups and downs
namaste |
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 10:07:49 AM
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oh yeah true advice
But really it had some things going on before and after, it wasn't just the heart opening I just talked about that because of the jesus reference
When it started I started feeling ecstasy rising up inside of my, I laid back and just let myself go without the intention to let go or to do anything I just wanted to relax. ANd then everything was different, I could see so clear and I started feeling a rebel being born into me. I realized that you can't really BE for real if you don't stand up against false saviours. In my minds eye I saw satsangs where people were guided along some techniques and ideas. Still inside the game. Just giving them more stuff to continue the game. I remembered OWK who said that whatever he says (a quote from one of his books) would just make you go on in the game. True man, real true man I thought to myself. As it went on every thought was bliss. My mind was ABSOLUTELY open, just openess, pure openess and it was SOOOO pleasurable! My mind was free. A german song came to my mind (die gedanken sind frei - the thoughts are free) and I had to smile inside, even more than I already did because it was fulfilled. There no more limits in me. NO limits at ALL!
I realized I shouldn't interfere with my character's (my figure's, my role's, or whatever) decisions. I shouldnt hold so tight. Just let "him" make "his" experiences. No frear. Let it happen only this way you grow.
I saw myself leaving my body, more and more and seeing my body as it is and it hit me hard: this is just a robot! further and further. I was in my mind and I could see electricity running and it was becoming too much. Sparks here and there. Last thought: Holy ...! The system is crashing! ("I" knew it would be over for me but it was more like my death was seen not like I died because it wasn't me who died). Nothingness. Pure Nothingness. "Behind" it a little light. I came back as a different being. I was that what I always have been and always will be. Lying in my bed I thought: oh its so great... but by tomorrow it will be gone already... a kind of despair came over me but I realized: It's just the mind why should it bother me? The mind is bothered. Fine.
Throughout the whole experience there were thoughts but no thinker, no doer, no one
And I learned what meditation is :)
You have to excuse me, I can't say what happened in what order. There was REALLY no time. Like for REAL. I tried so hard, many times but I just can't tell what happened "first" and "then" and "after" that.
Pure bliss. Maybe a glimpse to help that lost lamb find its way? I don't know. I know that there was only god in the end of the story. And then "I" came back. Heavenly. I realized people who don't have a kundalini experience that goes as far as godrealization can't talk about god in an authentic way like really KNOW it is real. And for the first time I had a loving relationship with god. I really loved him and all I wanted is to be with him, leave everything behind.
Now you got the full story, I don't know what the purpose of sharing this is maybe I just wanted to point out that it was not just a heart opening. This is the wicked ego for sure :D |
Edited by - escapado on Oct 28 2011 10:50:03 AM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 10:56:26 AM
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Thank you for writing and sharing dear
By heart opening and by a glimpse of That... I mean a true glimpse of what is True. The heart is always to open last.. And by open I mean to really open and start outpouring... I've had glimpses of this so I can't speak much more since I am not stable in that state myself... Quoting Yoganiji on one of his sayings: The path begins with love and ends with love.
Love,
Ananda |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 12:16:50 PM
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Escapado,
Thanks for the sharing...
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Oct 29 2011 : 02:01:21 AM
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thank you escapado for sharing
who is OWK? |
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vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 12:01:48 PM
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| Thanks for sharing :) |
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Intro and 1st and 2nd Kundalini Report
