Lesson 33 - Q&A – Spinal breathing during tantric sex?

From: Yogani
Date: Thu Jun 10, 2004 2:48pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this
tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this
one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"

Q: There is a vama (left-handed) form of kriya that is practiced
during copulation, called Cobra breath, which has 4 stages of
practice. This appears to be a fast-track method of the regular
kriya, with rapid benefits. Yet in these lessons you have
told us to practice the spinal breath in two sessions outside of
tantra practice. But if spinal breath can be done during tantra
practices with immense benefits, then why have you not recommended
spinal breath with sexual practices?

A: Spinal breathing can be done during tantric sex. The reason it has
not been covered in the lessons yet is because I was waiting for
someone to ask, and you did! There are several reasons why we have not
jumped into it already. The reasons have been touched on in the
lessons.

First, sexual relations do not lend themselves to being done by the
clock -- not at a certain time twice each day, and not every day
without fail.

Second, sexual relations do not lend themselves to being regulated in
duration -- so many minutes of this practice and so many minutes of
that practice.

Third, combining sitting practices with tantric sex can lead to
additional releases of obstructions that must be regulated in some
way so as not to become excessive.

Fourth, the occurrence of sexual relations is most easily left to
serendipity, which is how it naturally happens. This is not in synch
with any of the above, but can be overridden by the discipline of
mutually dedicated practitioners.

The time-related matters are of great importance in yoga. Without
regularity and correct measurement of practices, yoga can quickly fly
out of control, and quite a few people in the main lessons have
commented in the Q&As on aspects of experience from sitting practices
related to this. In fact, most of the Q&As are about pacing practices
to accommodate experiences. It can be a tricky business to keep
balance in advanced yoga practices. For this reason, using sexual
relations as a primary means for yoga is like trying to row a small
boat across the ocean in a hurricane.

Does this mean spinal breathing should not be done in sexual
relations? No, it doesn't mean that. It means that it should not be
considered to be primary practice, which, in the main lessons, is
measured by the clock twice daily before breakfast and dinner.

If we engage in sexual relations, whenever that happens to be, then
we can consider using spinal breathing, or, for that matter, any
other sitting practice. I'm sure many have thought about this
already, as you have. There are a lot of practices to choose from.
But there is a challenge, you know, and that is the matter of the
possibility of stimulating excessive release of obstructions in the
nervous system.

We will know it has happened by how we feel later on after sexual
relations that have been blended with spinal breathing or other
practices.

Being in sexual union during spinal breathing is powerful indeed. But
power does not translate immediately into progress. After all, we
have huge power available already in our sitting practices, if we
could only absorb and use it all. But we can only go as fast as our
nervous system can accommodate the release of obstructions, and
therein lies the limiting factor. There is no limit on power in these
practices, with or without sexual union. So, again, it gets back to
regulation of practices through self-pacing.

The same thing applies in tantric sex, though not so much in using
the holdback method to facilitate long preorgasmic unions. This does
not usually lead to excessive releases -- just more and more ecstatic
bliss, which stays with us even as we enter our sitting practices
later on. This is why the focus here has been on holdback and long
preorgasmic unions. It does not usually cause imbalances in our
internal energies, and sets up our nervous system for wonderful
sitting practices later on, the next day, or whenever our sitting
practice time arrives. This is the real payoff that comes from
tantric sexual union, and only long preorgasmic unions are necessary
to produce it. There is a lot to be said for doing tantric sex and
sitting practices in series (separately), rather than in parallel.

With spinal breathing added to sexual relations, there will be
additional release of inner obstructions in the nervous system, and
you will find a need to regulate the practice to avoid the excesses
that can happen. This is a bit tricky when in the throes of
lovemaking, unless two people are so in tune that they can sit in
union face to face, propped up with pillows in a "V" formation (or
other semi-vertical position), doing spinal breathing for 5, 10, 15,
or however many minutes are suitable for both partners. It doesn't
sound very romantic, does it? Well, to let it go on and on could lead
to too much release for one or both partners, and much crabbiness
later on after the lovemaking is over. Try it and see. Powerful
spiritual practices are powerful spiritual practices no matter when
they are done.

So, do you see why we have not gotten into this before? It leaves the
door open for complications and potential difficulties. In the
lessons we want to stick with approaches that are simple with minimal
difficulties, while at the same time very effective for purifying and
opening the nervous system to divine experience.

So, instead, what we do is bring sexual stimulation gradually into
our sitting practices in a measured way using siddhasana, mulabandha
and sambhavi (very sexy with ecstatic conductivity). Practices such
as nauli/uddiyana, chin pump and spinal bastrika become quite sexual
in the middle to later stages also. All of this we can regulate
within our sitting practices. There can also be good regulation when
combining practices with masturbation. But even that can get out of
hand, leaving us crabby and with a headache. It is all in the
measuring. If we do too much we can be stymied and uncomfortable for
a while as the energy excess and imbalance corrects itself. Yoga
practice is about releasing obstructions in a way that we can
continue day-by-day over the long run, with ecstatic bliss gradually
building up and overflowing into our daily activity.

If you have a partner you can work with in a measured way during
sexual intercourse, you may be able to self-pace practices in
lovemaking with smooth results. If so, then by all means go for it.
But be mindful that lovemaking is a serendipity event, potentially an
extra boost on the path of yoga, and it is wise to always regard
daily sitting practices as the primary yoga.

If we can handle the huge extra energy generated by combining spinal
breathing, chin pump, spinal bastrika or yoni mudra kumbhaka with
preorgasmic sexual relations, it can be a big boost. On the other
hand, it can end up fizzling for the reasons mentioned above.
Experiment and see what happens. And then -- apply self-pacing.

Or, just enjoy long preorgasmic sex with your lover whenever it
happens, and be assured that the ocean of ecstatic bliss you both
have gained will still be available when you sit on your respective
meditation cushions for twice daily practices.

The guru is in you.

<  Previous  |  Next  >