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APOLLO
USA
2 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 7:47:27 PM
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I read all scriptures considered to be /holy/ in this world. Mostly everything I have learned and know are self-taught but I am clearly not the one teaching this vessel as the one writing or else why would I have questions I feel need to be answered?
It is true that once we lose detachment from our ego and our selfishness we live a more fulfilled life and these are things that I have realized as I have never been selfish and always wanting to give to my family in ways that I can ( I grew up very poor with not much of any food to eat ) but in any way and any skills that I have learned I have done my best to give back and this is the way-- it is fulfilling and makes me feel the most content. Now on to my questions and hoping someone intellectual can illuminate a few things for me or teach me things that I have not realized.
On my best days where I get the most joy it is sunny outside and I do a sunshine meditation, this has been done standing mostly but there are days where I follow the sun and it's light and sit in zazen the clouds part for me usually depending on how I feel, I clear all thoughts and enjoy tranquility and feel much more alive and recharged especially after having received this magnificent light from the sun. Also for a short period of time on full moons (only when I have been fasting or paying very close attention) the moon will pulsate which I had never realized before and actually wake me up when it is in a position very clear above/outside of my house I felt it wanted me to experience something new so I would go outside and lay down on the concrete absorbing the light from the full moon in the middle of the night (third watch 2-3am) this would happen only when the moon was strong waxing gibbous/waning or full (also meditated during this time before going back to sleep). My health stamina and strength all seem to be tied to whether I have been meditating much, my focus and also seemingly gaining a unique perspective of knowing things that are happening with no knowledge of them in a weird instinctual way. This still happens even without meditation for me but I find that I am more sensitive when I am meditating especially when I gain high amounts of light from the sun/moon, it is winter time so the weather plays a big role in this. I have thought to myself I should just continue anyway but the cold really makes it too uncomfortable I still get a sun light meditation in most mornings that I do not have to work and it is still nice enough for me to be shirtless even in the winter time going to the mossy spot(where the sun hits directly) very good to receive warmth and defocus/focus/realign (best way I can put it).
Hope someone could respond with some insights or opinions, just wanted to share and converse as I am new to these forums but I found them researching and studying. Other things I have went through is learning how to manage myself / retain life force essence through semen retention. I have a wife, she is pregnant and due to give birth very shortly but this has given me time to understand more things about retaining and polar attraction etc, I over did it one time retaining for too long and my body felt great but I was unable to stay at peace/calm when I was in an argument with my wife and ended up getting to a point of anger where now looking back there is never any reason to be that angry. I like to keep peace and be the peace around me and in many aspects of my life I am-- and people latch onto that or follow whoever is leading even without realizing it. So it was very saddening/uncomforting for me to be the one off the rails in anger. This prompted me to fully drain myself with my wife and 'start over' but it only really feels like starting over if no progress was made. I feel I have made progress but when you are used to being at a higher energy level and you get it zapped it is not peaceful to not have that control. All in all we have no control but being able to flow more virtuously and guide the wind in your sails is a great feeling that we should all master.
Again I am thankful if you read this and reply anything you would Like I am in search of help and appreciate any comments/concerns.
- APOLLO III |
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interpaul
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 11:07:42 PM
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Apollo, Welcome to the forum. I am not "someone intellectual" but I am happy to share my perspective with you. With respect to the second part about semen retention, I have some experience with that practice. It is a very powerful practice which can be difficult to manage, especially earlier in life. It definitely cranks up the internal energy and that can cause all sorts of emotional disruption. As you will likely hear from others on this forum, we can only advise on practices related to AYP. If you haven't started at the beginning of the lessons, it is highly recommended you do so, as Yogani's practices nicely outline a gradual plan to address all of your concerns. Semen retention is not one of the first practices recommended. Starting with deep meditation, followed by spinal breathing pranayama once you have a stable meditation practice will do a lot to help you along your path. You can add semen retention, as part of bramacharya later. Self pacing is a key principle Yogani goes over in much detail and one of the keys to successfully proceeding.
With respect to your sunshine meditation and moon practices, they aren't part of AYP and again hard to guide you. The beauty of the AYP practices is they aren't weather dependent. Prior to AYP I had seen a Taoist teacher who recommended I do a sun meditation practice. I ran into the same troubles you have with respect to weather. Shortly thereafter I discovered AYP and can say with absolute certainty, they are much more powerful than any of the Taoist sun meditation I had done previously. There are many paths out there. You certainly won't be sorry if you give Yogani's teachings a try and stick with them as outlined. They are really a gift he has offered the world without any catches.
Being a father of 3 I also wanted to congratulate you on the path you are about to embark on. It is one of the most meaningful and fulfilling undertakings you could choose. It may be a challenge to scale up too many practices with a new baby and sleep deprivation in your near future. Be easy with yourself and your wife. There is no rush on this stuff, you have plenty of time to explore. |
Edited by - interpaul on Jan 03 2021 11:34:45 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 12:11:19 AM
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I second Interpaul on congratulations to impending fatherhood! The next decade or more are going to be a challenge and a simple, dedicated meditation practice will assist you along the way. Because of the pandemic, I cannot express myself with asanas in a studio so I have taken my yoga outside, and it has been life changing in that way. I live on the New England coast, and have a particular spot with a magnificent view of the Atlantic that is especially beautiful on a sunny morning. My AYP practice has, over time, awarkened ecstatic energy and inner silence within that can be accessed merely through attention and asanas, and I have too, now know the power in sun salutations while in its loving presence, we are all, after all, stardust. For decades, on full moons, my long times friends and I hang around a campfire and soak in the feminine energy of the night and howl in delight. I am the only yogi in the bunch but they are open to all my spiritual ramblings, and at times, do Warrior Pose with me, for who would not want to feel like a warrior?
As far as semen retention, do not be rigid, do not put yourself in the mindset that spilling seed is a failure, that you are losing, ground, that you become depleted because depletion, especially at your age is temporary. A disciplined meditation practice turns depletion around quickly because you are priming your system, over time, to transmute semen into spiritual fuel automatically. You are right that as a young father it is a good opportunity to retain semen, because your sex life with your partner will be disrupted and irregular. You have seen the dark side (anger) of retaining too rigidly, so allow yourself to release when your attitude becomes unstable. Think of it as a gift to your partner and marriage rather than a personal failing. A disciplined meditation practice will also give rise the the Witness so that you can catch the anger (“what is this anger? why is this anger? am I really this anger?”) before it spills out of you.
AYP is designed for you in that it requires (at most) two half hours of total practice a day, perfect for the busy householder and nascent father. Take a look at the first few lessons and see what you think. https://www.aypsite.org/10.html
Welcome Apollo, and good luck to you both! |
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APOLLO
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2021 : 9:58:26 PM
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| Thank you both for your genuine advice and love to help. I am proud to say that I have been in the hospital since Early 5am monday and I am now a father of a beautiful baby girl. It has been a rollercoaster to say the least, the doctors had to do an emergency c-section on my wife and I am glad they made the decision because when they did the incision on her they found my baby girl with her cord wrapped around her neck not once but twice. So thankful for skilled workers and I feel that I have taken a huge step spiritually becoming a father. I cannot express enough how thankful I am for both of your replies. I will stick to the retention and also would like to ask if anyone has any experiences with holding seed too long and spilling (nocturnal emission)-- if there are any benefits or if it is total loss. I have read both of your experience and responses and know that pre-emptively you both wrote that for me but I have a feeling at my age it may be a good thing(?) In the past I have been upset to have spilling but now after it has happened again I almost feel like it helped me to stay more calm and more alert in a way that I haven't felt before. I also do not feel the usual draining feeling. In the past it had felt like theft in the night (lol) but this time seemed a bit different. I hope to learn more being here with you all-- reading and learning, sharing our experiences. Thank you for the advice on anger, as I am very empathic so if one person is angry it is hard for me to stay calm and relaxed. I have learned a lot recently on controlling this... albeit I fail here and there in quick emotional moments (primarily only with the wife). I have to be extra gentle toward her in this time and this has helped me realize more of my own faults and grow. Thank you for the link(for learning). Also thank you for welcoming me to fatherhood it means a lot to me, I feel more emotional now this week than I have ever felt in my entire life and it has helped me with talking to just about anyone, even strangers, and the conversations are always important to hear in these moments. |
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interpaul
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2021 : 12:47:32 AM
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| Apollo, Congratulations, that's exciting news. I hope your wife and daughter are doing well. The coming year will be an exciting adventure but may be filled with new stressors due to sleep deprivation and a shift in the dynamics of your relationship. Nocturnal emissions are natural and a way for your body to release built up energy. Go easy with your semen retention practices. I am still working on "preservation and cultivation" practices and honestly don't think I could have succeeded when I was a younger man. This is truly a long game, i.e. your whole life. Efforts to slowly shape your spiritual energy will be rewarded but it takes time. I would start with the link Dogboy shared and slowly start with doing deep meditation. |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2021 : 07:37:22 AM
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Hi Apollo,
Congratulations! What an amazing time of your life! Warm wishes for your baby girl, your wife, and you! 
It is so interesting that at this major point in your life you are also starting another stage of the spiritual quest. It seems that life comes to us in "chapters," each to enliven a different theme or direction. Growing up I have been attracted to the sun meditation spontaneously, and as far as I can tell it is related to the practice of "living on light." It does trigger purification, and it works at a much gentler pace than mantra meditation. As Interpaul and Dogboy write, I can testify that mantra meditation works with reliable progress. This path is pretty well mapped, as you can see if you read the AYP lessons from the beginning. It is not helpful to spend time judging ourselves, and it is helpful to maintain a regulate practice to the best of our abilities and life circumstances. Just make the mantra meditation (or deep meditation = DM) part of your daily life, and then go and live fully with your family and your new little teacher! When we are open, everybody becomes our teacher!
The guru is in you.  |
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jclone
United Arab Emirates
61 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2021 : 07:50:49 AM
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Hi Apollo,
Congratulations with your baby girl! Please take care of your wife especially these days after she gave birth, she must not put too much stress on herself. Please be safe, you both. |
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