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 Fear of becoming a catonic/zombie/space cadet
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thisguy

USA
6 Posts

Posted - Apr 13 2011 :  12:55:40 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
I have been doing to following practice twice a day very stably for several months now and am starting to feel a very intense feeling (almost catatonic) of silence coming over me.

asanas--10mins
spinal breathing 10 mins
targeted spinal bastrika between brow and heart (lots of tension in this area) 1-2 mins
4 yoni mudra kumbhakas
meditation with "shree om shree om aim aim namah" mantra visualized in the solar plexus 15-20 mins
samyama--5mins
rest--5mins
also neti pot twice daily

This "silence" is especially pronounced since I have been practicing self inquiry lately. In addition to this mental silence, I am experiencing the physical manifestation of this silence which is staring off into space all the time. I realize that this silence and staring off into space is a result of the subject of my consciousness merging with the object that is the universe, but it is really scaring the sh*t out of me. People are noticing the fact that I am always staring off into space and I fear that I am starting to appear as a space cadet, or a zombie, or someone who is catatonic with huge dinner plate sized pupils. Has anyone else had this experience, and if so, is this just a transition phase I will eventually move beyond, or is this what enlightenment is like. If it is what enlightenment is like, I can see why so few people attain it. I feel a very strong aversion to this feeling of staring off into space for fear of being judged a zombie.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

JDH

USA
331 Posts

Posted - Apr 13 2011 :  01:18:43 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi thisguy,

It seems like self pacing is in order here. Take a couple steps back in your practice routine and see if the 'zoning-out' is more manageable. I get this pull to silence as well, and it is indeed a phase - by its very nature it will interrupt the thought-knots and the doing-obsessions as we learn to act from that place of silence. But the self-pacing is about making that a gradual shift, and if the pull to silence is interfering with your daily life more than is comfortable... ease back a bit and find your comfort zone.

Best,
Jeff
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WoodDragon

USA
56 Posts

Posted - Apr 13 2011 :  08:28:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit WoodDragon's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I agree with JDH that self pacing may be the key to a more productive and comfortable transition for you.

The parts of your statements that jumped out at me were different and I just wish to touch upon it if I may. Fear. Fear of becoming. Fear is what holds us back to most, fear of losing oneself, fear of the judgment of others. Fear of how we are seen by others.

For ourselves there is nothing to fear, you are simply becoming more deeply aware of the universe and all of its wonders. This is a good thing. You are a part of the universe and so you will also become more aware of yourself as well. We lose nothing from awareness but our preconceived notions. We gain from awareness Truth.

If people judge you then have compassion for them, for they do not see the wonder of the universe. We cling to ego through our fears, we hold on to our attachments through fear of loss. Has anyone judged you or have they simply noticed a change in you? If they judge you then that is their own set of attachments and limited state of being, not yours. When we let go of our attachments we let go of the attachments others attempt to place on us. When we let go of our attachments we gain so much more in seeing the world as it really is.

Thus it is a two pronged approach, step back a bit on your practice until it is comfortable for you and let go of fear! A joyous and Blissful universe awaits you once the shackles of fear fall away!
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Kahlia

161 Posts

Posted - Apr 14 2011 :  12:58:23 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Grounding and centering techniques can help with that spaced out kind of feeling as does mindfulness. A good diet with regular eating to help blood sugar perhaps?

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Voyager

United Kingdom
11 Posts

Posted - Apr 14 2011 :  10:58:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
When I get like that, I've gone overboard.
It usually happens to me if I'm meditating and then fall asleep which has uncomfortable side effects when I wake up, and it lasts all day, so I avoid that.

Now I can usually judge how much meditation I need to do as I don't like that spaced out feeling whilst going about my daily business. Some of my sessions only last 10 minutes if I go in deep quickly - and those 10 minutes feel like 30 minutes of peace.
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