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Ananda
3115 Posts |
 Posted - May 24 2010 : 04:07:34 AM
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namaste friends,
i have read a bunch of stuff about this ego fear and it happens with me sometimes during deep meditation and Self Inquiry.
it's just a fear that rises up for no reason and in the Advaita world it's considered as the ego who is afraid of losing it's hold on things.
a lot of the Advaita talk is about witnessing that fear or remembering the guru\teacher and praying for his grace in order for the fear to subside.
if we could take AYP's stand on this Yoganiji that would be very much appreciated.
and of course if there are any peops out there with good advice on how to deal with this situation according to their own experience than that would be very helpful and me and many others who are interested in the subject would be in your gratitude.
L&L,
Ananda
p.s: Ego fear has been present around here from early morning after my first daily session and since i started being aware or present i.e. practicing Self Inquiry which is kind of automatic with gentle persuasion over here... and it goes out without saying that it's still present while i am writing this post and of course i am witnessing it. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2010 : 07:45:46 AM
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Notice what you do when fear arises? Do you constrict around it? Close up? If yes... then now open...relax... let the fear dissolve into the universe... just like samyama. Try it. It has been working wonders for me. Feel the constriction (that is like picking up a sutra) now open and let it flow outward (like dropping the sutra into silence). Open.. open... open... feel yourself expand and the fear expand and dissolve into the vast universe. Do it any time fear arises.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2010 : 08:26:00 AM
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Namaste Ananda
quote:
and of course if there are any peops out there with good advice on how to deal with this situation according to their own experience than that would be very helpful and me and many others who are interested in the subject would be in your gratitude.
The first insight that happened after becoming aware again and again of the deep fear, was a direct experience of the inability to "deal with it". It was known through and through.....that nothing here could "deal with" it.
In the silence that followed.......in the welcome that that is......the label of the energy fell away. And as the label dropped......the raw energy could be exposed to the silent welcome........and in that touch......the emotional charge glued to the energy gradually dissolved. And when the emotion dissolved....there was just presence. A gem of deep peace is like this within both the label and the emotion and the presence.
And so it goes again and again...... the blessing of again and again finding out as it is directly experienced...... that absolutely all that is deemed wrong or ugly or troublesome or perilous or lost.....all of it...when it comes, it comes as silence itself. It is never anything else but it. Feelings of deep fear are treasures of inner silence. When the touch happens.....more of us is in deep silence. Deep peace.
Also.....the blessing of finding out that all that is deemed good or pleasurable or delicious or lovely or beautiful.......all of it...when it comes, it also comes as silence itself. When silently welcomed and non-grasped...these too...when the touch happens......leave us in deep silence. Deep peace.
Beautiful tool of Deep Meditation that cultivates inner silence and opens us to the welcoming arms of our still nature.
Inner silence is always on both sides of the fence. It is particularly the fence itself. Like this......it is seen that where the charge is the greatest, exactly here is the most of what I am...... apparantly hidden.
In staying open....in the not-dealing.....in the silent welcome.....in this kindness...
gently and tenderly the fear...and all else..... is "undressed" home to it's own beautiful nakedness.
That is why engaging properly in life is seen to be so vital here. To live activly...not shunning anything that might trigger a surfacing of either fear or love. It is in the touch between awareness and living fully.....in all the nitty gritty details.....it is here that the alchemy of the rising inner silence happens.....This is the outpouring.
I cannot speak for the "AYP stand" on this topic........but as mentioned above:
" It was known through and through.....that nothing here could "deal with" it.
In the silence that followed......."
The gap between "nothing here could deal with it" and "In the silence that follows".....this gap.....is the essence of self-inquiry...of letting go. It can't be done. But when inner silence is cultivated daily.....this gap allows for emergence of inner silence.
And it is certainly the AYP stand to cultivate inner silence.......for as long as we must for all to be liberated from the suffering of unawareness.
Ananda...thank you 
PS I see no ego-fear (I could be blind mind you  ) I see no ego. I see only the energy with the emotional charge. The deepness of it (and all other feelings) comes with the ability to feel deeper as the result of rising inner silence and ecstatic conductivity. The seeing it as uncaused also comes because of the rise of inner silence.
The fear (and all else that comes and goes) belongs to noone in particular. Yet....in order to welcome it......I must remain open to it as if it is my very own kind.
Which it always was and is and ever shall be 
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Balance
USA
967 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2010 : 12:21:38 PM
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What they said 
It will be seen through.
For me, fear still arises, but it doesn't seem to have the same overwhelming fixation as it once did. |
Edited by - Balance on May 24 2010 1:10:37 PM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2010 : 2:09:02 PM
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Hi All, i really appreciate the replies... thank you for your input.
namaste |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 10:27:34 PM
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Only god playing with himself. Doing like there is you.
The one same as Katrine already said it. Nothing to deal with. Everything is okay. Let be what is. Ego/non ego/fear/control all concepts and part of the great godcheat (<- a concept too) <-- these words themselves and the believe in meaning of words --> godcheat. No you that could do anything, only |
Edited by - Holy on May 25 2010 10:32:30 PM |
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ik-jivan
Canada
36 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2010 : 04:44:54 AM
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Ananda,
You wrote 'i have read a bunch of stuff about this ego fear ...'
Could you list what you have read that helped describe and define this ego fear, please? I went through it last year, but only yesterday identified it as the dissolution of ego when talking about a friend's current experience.
Thank you. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2010 : 05:12:52 AM
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Hi Jivan, i am sorry but there is only one book in the blank inside my mind now nothing else is popping. The book is "No mind i am the Self" by David Godman; It's a book about the lives of Sri Lakshmana Swami (direct disciple of Sri Ramana Maharshi) and Mathru Sri Sarada his devotee.
http://www.davidgodman.org/books/nomind.shtml
Love |
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Per
Sweden
6 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2010 : 01:08:52 AM
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I had to deal with a lot of fear surfacing, specially some years ago. At that point fear almost came up every time I sat down to meditate. For me the fear was a sort of ultimate fear, the fear of loosing my ground, my identity, simply said the fear of death. And every time it came up I wanted to run away from it because it was so overwhelming. But there was no running away that I could do so I just had to sit with it. I would gather up all my courage, see myself as a inner warrior and just stare it right in the face. Completely feel how the energy felt, trying to stay completely present in its terrifying appearance... Slowly it would change, dissolve and overtime completely disappear. Sometimes it still comes up, but nowadays it doesn't have much power to stick around, so it dissolves in the empty sky.
So there is nothing much you can do but to be with it.
Love
Per |
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Per
Sweden
6 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2010 : 02:30:25 AM
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I should make myself a bit more clear. The energy of the emotion does not necessarily dissolve, but the concept does. And then left is only the raw emotion felt as a pure sensation within the body, free from the prison of conceptuality. And when the jail is broken the energy is free to change, free to stay or free to do whatever it likes to do. Just like Katrine said so beautifully!
Love
Per |
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DansInEveryWay
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2010 : 7:18:49 PM
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quote:
all of it...when it comes, it comes as silence itself. It is never anything else but it.
woah! yes! that was beautifully stated and quite revelatory in it's own way Katrine.. now to know that bit intuitively is something else.. back to the cushion for me |
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BuddhiHermit
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2010 : 09:25:12 AM
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Katrine, Your words are a meditation in themselves. Thank You.
Sometimes there is fear, and sometimes there is sheer terror. Even if you cannot see it as silence, you can still enter the experience. If you enter the experience with inquiry, you will see more than before, and the power of the experience can catapult you to greater depths if you choose to accept it fully - in it's total fear.
Other than that, I have also noticed that fear is an energy phenomenon, in which energy oscillates back and forth between two states. This is because the mind is unable to choose(anything!). I feel it most often as biologically based, with the fight or flight response being activated - or it's mental analogue.
It's funny really, because we experience the mind as paralysed by fear, and it's in that very moment we come close to mindlessness, which we then interpret as impending death (value judgement), and then fear even more.
This is not a stopping of the mind. It is a state just before that, from which you can catch a glimpse of mindlessness, if you look at what is there apart from the fear. (ie: Hmm, here's this fear ... I wonder what else is happening, then look at the one that just commented on the fear, to see your attention, which is attending to the fear). If you have prepared, and are in the right mind state, you might be able to relax into the whole process, and in surrender, find your self at home, in Awareness.
Going deeply into all emotions is equally possible, and equally rewarding, but it's not for the faint-hearted, and can be very detrimental to progress if your self-identity is not well integrated.
Namaste
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Self Inquiry, Deep Meditation and Ego Fear
