|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
emc
2072 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 19 2009 : 6:07:29 PM
|
I sometimes seem to have totally lost the ability to surrender. I have been able to surrender greatly over the latest years. In fact, when I first started this journey I was so taken by surprise the mind had no chance but to give in quickly and hand itself over to the Stillness and Forces of Life, and it did so in a very natural way. Moments and sometimes longer periods of great surrender took place, which gave me a very deep knowing of what this journey is all about. Since then it seems as if my ability to surrender has constantly decreased, and the mind is more stubborn than ever. In periods the mind fight is so intense, surrender seems lightyears away... Only a memory lingers of how wonderful and peaceful it is to surrender fully.
As you may have noticed if you have read my posts earlier, I sometimes say "I feel like taking this journey backwards". Well, that's how it feels - going from the greatest depths and silent mind three years ago to a more active, scattered dominant mind and shallowness today. I've gone from a state when everyday miracles, bliss and increadible experiences was so regular I almost got blasé, to a state similar to where I was before the journey began... Strangely, this regression (lapsus; probably not really regression - I can hear your potential arguments already, but that's how it feels anyway) is combined with irregular signs of greater openings (in line with suggested AYP milestones). Can't really understand this spiritual path profile... all I can do is to continue to practice surrender to the happenings (or non-happenings).
How do I surrender, the mind asks? Let go, let go... it has just been words for me the latest time. Surrender is just another concept, until it truly happens!
Then a few days ago I found this article in an old Yoga Journal, which I found very interesting and right on the spot for me at the moment, being busy fighting with reality, always losing! 
Luckily I found it on the web, so I can link to the whole article. Here's an excerpt and the link:
quote:
The great paradox about surrender—as with other great qualities of awakened consciousness, like love, compassion, and detachment—is that though we can practice it, invoke it or open up to it, we can’t actually make it happen. In other words, just as the practice of being loving is different from actually being in love, the practice of surrendering is not the same as the state of being surrendered.
As a practice, surrender is a powerful way of unclenching your psychic and physical muscles, and a great antidote to the anxiety and frustration that shows up whenever you try to control the uncontrollable. There are any number of ways to practice surrender—from softening your belly, to consciously opening to grace, turning over a situation to the universe or to God, or deliberately letting go of your attachment to an outcome. (I often do this by imagining a fire and imagining myself dropping the issue or thing I’m holding onto into that fire). When the attachment or the sense of being stuck is really strong, it often helps to pray for surrender. It doesn’t matter who or what you pray to, simply that you are willing to ask. At the very least, the desire for surrender will allow you to release some of the invisible pressure caused by fear and desire.
However, the state of surrender is always a spontaneous arising, which you can allow to occur but never force. Someone I know describes his experiences of the state of surrender like this: “I feel as if a bigger presence, or energy pushes aside my limited agendas. When I feel it coming, I have a choice to allow it or resist it, but it definitely comes from a place beyond what I think of as me, and it always brings a huge sense of relief.” This is not something you can make happen, because the small self, the individual me is literally not capable of dropping its own sense of ego-boundary.
- - -
Most transformational moments—spiritual, creative or personal—involve this sequence of intense effort, frustration, then letting go. The trying, the effort, the slamming against the walls, the intensity and the exhaustion, the fear of failure balanced against the recognition that it is not okay to fail—all these are part of the process by which a human being breaks out of the cocoon of human limitation, and becomes willing on the deepest level to open to the infinite power that we all have in our core.
http://www.sallykempton.com/yjartic...iedaway.html
Perhaps someone else may find it inspiring as well!
Since I read it, I'm busy relaxing my belly... 
|
Edited by - emc on Mar 19 2009 6:21:15 PM |
|
|
gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2009 : 8:54:45 PM
|
Dear emc, are you saying that you feel surrender now or not? Surrender to me means that the universe is actually a mystery that cannot be apprehended by the mind at all. No compromise here. The mind simply cannot understand it. There is no resistence to me any more because i fully realise that surrender is the only option. When we try to understand things two things happen at the same time a) the ego gets in the way and b) we are blinded by that to such a hubristic level that it is simply impossible to even IMAGINE anything else. Doubt accompanies reflection in other words, and this very thing is what prevents us from accepting the mystery of life.
I know absolutely NOTHING. I am such a ignorant no-knowledge person. I am simply full of dogma that i am blinded by the solidity of reality. I don't want that any more. I choose to accept that there are an infinite number of things i will never know, cannot know. I don't even want to rest assured in my ignorance. I just want to disappear. It is not possible for me to know causation so i let go of the effort. Why am i important in the overall scheme of things? Somebody could potentially read this in 2000 years from now. Where will i be then? Just a memory. Just a dream. I bequeath nothing to that person, to those future generations other than my hubris and ignorance. I so much wish to be but a literal wave on the ocean, coming from nothing, existing for such a small amount of time and then disappearing without leaving a trace of my existence. I am not worthy of even existing. That is how i want to be remembered. And if i cannot even achieve that, then it is better that i existed without even so much as a face.
I don't really know why i am writing this. I feel so lost, so deserted. But at the same time i have come home because there was nowhere else to be since the dawn of time. So my choice is to accept the mystery, to acknowledge there is an infinite amount of things i can never possibly know. And to rest assured in my ignorance. |
 |
|
|
Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 09:30:46 AM
|
Hi emc
Nice article thanks.
For me it's a matter of getting a taste of the surrender and like the taste of inner silence or presence, when it resides in the background it is easier to allow it to emerge.
A bit like the seeds of it have been watered and once they get going it has to be tended and nurtured and gardened for it to remain healthy. If we take it for granted the plants or seeds can recede or be shadowed by weeds.
I think that if we have a good memory of how surrender was, then if we try and activate it or allow it, or invite it, like we used to, we can find we are simply trying to invite a memory, and not something just under the surface ready to flower when asked.
If this is the case, I have found that I need to step back from that memory and look at the resistance to the surrender and befriend that. Hold it and love it with no agenda except to simply love it and keep working where the real edge is, instead of the memory of how it used to be.
I know you know all this, but just thought I'd say it anyway
|
|
|
|
yogani
USA
5195 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 11:47:19 AM
|
Hi All:
Surrender is reaching the point (again and again) of being able to admit that we do not know, and can never know. That is when all knowing comes pouring through!
It becomes much easier with rising inner silence, because we are in the habit of residing in That which is both unknowable and alive with all knowledge.
The guru is in you.
|
|
|
|
mimirom
Czech Republic
368 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 11:47:19 AM
|
Hi emc,
please don't be sad, that miracles don't happen right now. They will happen again, and you will experience the breathtaking entry into a brand-new world full of miracles again in the future. As you may have noticed, human evolution happens in cycles, or steps, just the same way everything else within the evolutionary process happens too. If you entered a new evolutionary stage some three years ago, you now might be just in the middle of adapting yourself to it, and getting everything properly set for the next major step. As you become more and more familiar with your current level of opening, things might loose some of their miraculousness in your eyes, because you now understand them better then three years ago, when you were new to them.
By "setting up" your understanding properly, you are preparing yourself to enter the next higher stage of evolution. You are setting up yourself, in order to be able to bear the grace of even greater understanding and insight. With the wonderful practices you are using, this surely won't take too long. (Actually, current psychological research (R. Kegan, S. Cook-Greuter) indicates, that to complete one step on the "ladder" of human evolutionary unfolding (one "stage of development," as they call it) an average person needs at least five years, with optimal practices.)
So, I'd say, be happy. What you perceive as regression, might be actually your preparation for the next step. It might well be just getting ready for the load of grace waiting for you.
Roman |
|
|
|
Bill
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 11:48:47 AM
|
emc
Thanks for the article. In my own way at my beginning stage I play with enhancing that which needs to surrendered. Just like the oft cited relaxation exercise where we are instructed to tighten a set of muscles then let it go, I often find it useful to enhance the functioning of that which I feel must be let go. But the enhancement is a conscious one, or engaged in with attention. Mind too active? Then I activate it even more for five minutes. Every extreme turns into the opposite, but with attention there can be transformation in every stage, and experience.
Bill |
|
|
|
Peter
Italy
25 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 1:31:57 PM
|
emc - thank you for this topic. Gumpi too, thank you. You followed emc with some very wise observations about your current place.
There is a state which might be called radical non-knowing that we secretly thirst for while at the same time running circles around ourselves trying to get away from.
Not just your normal everyday not-knowing, but total and absolute non-knowing of anything, the kind where you start saying things to yourself like, "Well now, look, I know if I drop this glass it will fall, right? I mean, er... right?"
Where you say, "I don't know if there is or isn't a god, is or isn't a creation, is or isn't a path, is or isn't anything I think I know. I don't even know if I do or don't know...!"
You can't create it. Intention falls away. It's an ultimate kind of surrender.
Because there is no longer anything left to surrender to. |
|
|
|
Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 5:18:05 PM
|
Hi emc,
Great article. Thanks for sharing.
I understand what you mean. As things (letting go, practices, etc.) have progressed over the years, I reached a point and realization that "I" can't surrender, "I" don't know how, "I" can't do it. I realized all my surrender had just become a more subtle way of 'doing' initiated by my will, ways and habits. Over time an inner tension of frustration built. At times it was unbearable. Finally, something broke and shifted and something very deep at the core truly realized I can't do it, don't know how, won't ever know how. It was in that moment without intention or intiation by "I"-"mind"-"will", I gave up. I just stopped trying.
It wasn't so much a conscious letting go as I just gave up. All my strategies were worthless. Heart (of itself) prayed (wordless), something like "Lord, whatever You want". In big part at least bigger than any time prior, I gave up my I-know-how, I-can-do-it agenda, control and expectations. That was a turning point. "I" did not initiate it. In the weeks and months prior to that, in addition to the traditional practices of meditation, spinal breathing, samyama, etc., prayer became (and remains) very important. Not a mind or ego-I initiated prayer, but the silent-feeling sort that originates from the depth of our being and Heart. In time, bhakti and the realization that we are clueless reach new levels sufficient to create an opening that allows Source's Love to come in and dissolve the resistance and patterns that keep us in our shell.
I have found that the process of surrender never ends. As the knots of our being dissolve, it has cycles with variations of ups and downs. For me it's a process of learning to trust Source completely and continuously with every aspect of my life, of realizing how loved we are and that we are all part of the Love. Over time, it is becoming easier to trust, as daily life experiences and interactions with others validate the recognition that Source always gives the best without us having to control or manage every detail. In a way it's quite humorous. The ever-deepening realization that I don't know anything (giving up my knowledge) and can't do anything (giving up my will) creates the space to receive the blessings and love of Source. Similar to what Yogani said our inner silence and willingness to accept and embrace the gifts from Source help pave the way. True knowledge is the love and will of Source being freely expressed and shared through each of us.
emc, I know you know all this. Just wanted to let you know that I too have experienced and struggled with the ups and downs of surrender. From re-reading your post, struggling probably applies much more to me than you as your post indicates you are cooperating with the process much better than I did early on. It seems you are well along the way and what appears to be a current decrease in being able to surrender is just a sign and preparation for something better and deeper to come. Thank you for sharing your experience and post with us all.
Much Love and Light to you always,
Steve
|
Edited by - Steve on Mar 20 2009 7:10:00 PM |
|
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 7:31:50 PM
|
| Go back to the reason you started. What was important about it ? What is still important about it? Always remember that it's always the last few yards that are the hardest on any journey, they can take the most effort and the longest time. I know you know this already. But when the jouneys ended, when the books finally finished, there's some satisfaction and a growing need that needs another journey to fill it, another book to get engrossed in. Remember why you started. |
|
|
|
Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 05:27:53 AM
|
Hi emc,
In the Sufi tradition there are seven stages in the development of the individual. Stage five is the surrender of the individual to the Divine. Stage six is when the Divine enters the individual who has become fully surrendered. Stage seven is when the individual and the Divine are merged within each other.
These are the final stages of the path, and the culmination of the spiritual life.
Enjoy
Christi |
|
|
|
Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 09:13:22 AM
|
Hi emc
Thank you so much for sharing
quote:
I sometimes seem to have totally lost the ability to surrender. I have been able to surrender greatly over the latest years. In fact, when I first started this journey I was so taken by surprise the mind had no chance but to give in quickly and hand itself over to the Stillness and Forces of Life, and it did so in a very natural way.
I recognize this well, emc. To be taken by surprise, thrill and awe when the door into Truth opens in the "beginning". I too experienced the "giving in quickly"....to That. It may not be the case for you.....but here.....it is seen that this "giving in" was easy because of the feedback gotten from the thrilling experiences. It was Silence way of "getting me hooked". It will do this.....it is intelligent .....*lol*
Once hooked......I never really "recovered". This is a true blessing....because no matter what there might be of interest "out there"....nothing can compare to the touch of Heart. So one never forgets it. Yet.....the communion happens from within......but still.....there was so much interest in "other things".....often cloaked as the "understanding" of truth. The desire to make sense of it. So that it could be used. Or the desire for the "understanding" to lessen the suffering of living in separation. That of mine and others.
I am not saying it is like this for you......but what i thought was the initial surrender......was not that here. It was something that I allowed because I felt it would benefit me. And then all the work begun...years of struggle at first...because i am so stubborn.......and that will always go on.....the burning away of whatever it is that stands in the way of the deeper and deeper communion with God/Silence/That.
quote:
How do I surrender, the mind asks? Let go, let go... it has just been words for me the latest time. Surrender is just another concept, until it truly happens!
Yes...here.....the mind on its own is always about "how"......it doesn't care about Now...although it likes to think it does .....*lol*........
quote:
going from the greatest depths and silent mind three years ago to a more active, scattered dominant mind and shallowness today.
What is aware even of this development, emc.....not a thought, I can assure you that You are not far away from your Self......
When my daughters...when they were small........the last hour before going to bed.....they would often be very restless and frantic......it was as if they went into "overspeed" .......whenever they were very tired :-)
Here....mind puts up a fight.....the closer it gets to true surrender. Up intil a point where it....as a lingering consequence of being seeped in silence during meditation......is dissolved in spite of itself....then there is emptiness....and then the flow can flow....
You say:
quote:
Strangely, this regression (lapsus; probably not really regression - I can hear your potential arguments already, but that's how it feels anyway)
Sparkle said:
quote:
I know you know all this, but just thought I'd say it anyway
Karl said:
quote:
I know you know this already.
This is it, see.....
None of us knows it. We think we do. But that doesn't take us anywhere but further into stuckness.
Silence is a choice every second. It doesn't matter if I had a revelation 2 minutes ago. It has to go. There is no need to store it. It is this instant that is always fresh clarity...love. Silently so. And life is bursting with instants.....*lol*.....all of them imbued by the fact of Love.
In letting go....as Sparkle describes it here (thank you for that beautiful post, Sparkle):
quote:
the taste of inner silence or presence, when it resides in the background it is easier to allow it to emerge.
....this is so crucial. As you experience.... it is not the mind that lets go. It is not capable of it. But...mind can be taken. By Silence. In order for this to happen......there must be cultivation of Silence. In my experience.....this is the crux of everything here.
So I was wondering......how do you facilitate this cultivation these days, emc? By deep meditation? Other practices? No practices?
And if you are not facilitating it (which is the little effort needed in order to be effortless)....
is it that it is painful to just be here-now?
The trust in the loving fact that we all swim in and as....here... the being here-now...often brought me into contact with the inner lack.....the shallowness that you describe....and often...since it was painful..... the love and clarity were sought elsewhere....
However....here it always is, was and will be.
And in allowing yourself to be taken.....in spite of the fact that you know nothing....neither of what is...nor of what is to come....that it will always be like this.....to allow yourself to be taken even though there is no trust as mind......no light in the end of the tunnel as "i".......still it is possible to lie down.....as we do it every night when going to bed......
Don't know if this is of any help........but
Much love to you...........
|
|
|
|
emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 11:34:58 AM
|
Thank you all for your replies! I must say I'm very grateful for the pleasant and respectful tone you all use, not acting teachers but truly sharing from your own experiences!
Gumpy, Thanks for the wisdoms in your post. "I know absolutely NOTHING."  WOW! Isn't that the deepest level?! "I feel so lost, so deserted." Yes, it makes me associate to the biblical quote "Eli, eli, lema sabachtani". I wish to cry that out sometimes, but it just feels like yet another indulgence in suffering and self-pity, so I don't! Your suggestion to rest in it sounds better!
Louis, thank you! "If we take it for granted the plants or seeds can recede or be shadowed by weeds." Are you suggesting it might be so that I have not taken care of the seeds properly and that what I experience now is a result of that, a "recede of the seeds"? "...to simply love it and keep working where the real edge is..." This rings true to me. Thanks for the reminder!
Yogani, Thanks for the hint... "It becomes much easier with rising inner silence"... and for me it's getting more difficult... so you see, comments or "AYP truths" like that strengthens the feeling of going backwards. The mind twists it like this: Since surrender is more difficult now, it must be because of a decreasing inner silence suddenly then, instead of rising...? You know there's so much gratefulness for your loving support, always!!!
mimirom, "please don't be sad, that miracles don't happen right now. They will happen again" Actually, a minor miracle happened today again! You were right!  I sense a lot of truth in your post as well! Thank you so much for sharing that perspective! We do get used to one level of functioning and then it looses some of it's glamour!
Bill, great suggestions! I have worked a lot with exaggeration of states or feelings like you suggest. Right now it's one of those things that doesn't seem to work, but it's generally a great approach! Thanks for adding it to the discussion!
Peter, I have some time left I think before I reach that ulitmate surrender!
Steve... I thank you deeply for that wonderful post! It landed where it was supposed to land - right in the Heart, and there's so much radiation between the lines, tears falling here! quote:
prayer became (and remains) very important. Not a mind or ego-I initiated prayer, but the silent-feeling sort that originates from the depth of our being and Heart. In time, bhakti and the realization that we are clueless reach new levels sufficient to create an opening that allows Source's Love to come in and dissolve the resistance and patterns that keep us in our shell.
This is so beautiful! I feel that's where I land when the exhaustion is at it's peak! There's just a silent prayer left... and a tiny, tiny bit of bhakti fire that still keeps glowing. quote:
your post indicates you are cooperating with the process much better than I did early on. It seems you are well along the way
Thank you for those words. It's strange, one would think it's only giving satisfaction for the ego, but this kind of feed-back and encouragement really does help a lot! Your love and light is deeply received here, and is embedded in the Heart! I'm very touched!
karl, "Go back to the reason you started. What was important about it ? What is still important about it?" Good questions, it's just that I never had a reason to start this spiritual journey. It started, and I was taken by surprise, and protested wildly for a long time, and the mind still falls back into cursing the spiritual path and the involuntary participation of it now and then! 
"Always remember that it's always the last few yards that are the hardest on any journey, they can take the most effort and the longest time." Yes, if this is no regression, then it would at least be a reasonable interpretation that it is a sign of the building up of the last fight. I'll go for that interpretation! At least it makes me feel better! One thing that is supportive of that is that when I was on the retreat with Bernie on Fiji, he sometimes spoke of this last fight, and he always looked at me when he said something like "And it's gonna get worse - we designed the mind to work that way!"
Christi, it seems as if you also favour that interpretation of the process coming to the last stages of development. Thank you! I enjoy the best I can..  What are the first four stages?
Katrine, thank you for your great love and sharing your experiences. We do have different journeys, and much of what you are saying is not resonating so much here, although it's always helpful to learn from others journeys! Your post got me reflecting, though...
You wrote: "It is this instant that is always fresh clarity...love. Silently so. And life is bursting with instants." When I read those line I felt immediate FEAR!!!! See... this is what I sense is also a "living on the edge"... these explosions of the New... are too strong and too frightening at the moment. It's as if... if I go towards Zero Zone... there's these acute crown openings happening. So another interpretation I have at the moment is that I'm still suffering from overload from these premature openings, and there's FEAR because I feel I can't go into yet another uncontrolled opening. I don't know about cause and effect here, but it might be that the body needs so much rest right now that the only choice for the body-mind is to close really hard to give me time for transformation and integration... and it might even be so that I have been so lousy at self-pacing and grounding, and foolishly continued to boost with spiritual practices (meeting Bernie, attending workshops etc) that there has to be a continuous closing down in pure self-preserverance of the physical body!? The "regression" might be a heavier and heavier closure as a back-lash result of too much openings over the years? Who knows... I surely don't!
"how do you facilitate this cultivation these days, emc? By deep meditation? Other practices? No practices?"
I have (almost) never missed out on my twice daily pranayama and meditation. I'm down to 3-5 min - afraid of getting crown openings if I go longer and deeper. Often, though, it's not possible to go deeper - the mind is too busy! I sometimes also share The Form. I try to engage in as much grounding activities as possible. |
Edited by - emc on Mar 21 2009 11:59:12 AM |
|
|
|
Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 12:22:02 PM
|
Hi emc,
quote:
Christi, it seems as if you also favour that interpretation of the process coming to the last stages of development. Thank you! I enjoy the best I can.. What are the first four stages?
I don't remember what the first four stages were.
There is a man in America called Jack Cornfield (some people here will know the name I am sure as he teaches at Spirit Rock). Anyway, he once lived as a Buddhist monk in Thailand. After his initial training he went into retreat for a year. He had loads of amazing experiences and openings happening to him during that year on his own. At the end of the year he went to see his master, and told him about all the amazing realizations and openings he had had. His master looked at him and said:
"And where are they now?"
Something my yoga teacher in India once said:
" If you put the enlightenment experience on a scale of one to ten, thoughts can dominate in the early stages, then around stage 4 or 5 a lot of deep silence can be experienced. Then around stage 7 or 8 thoughts will come back again as the deeper purification is happening and things are rising to the surface."
Hope that helps.
Christi
|
|
|
|
emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 03:57:40 AM
|
Christi,
Thank you for info on the sufi stages. I found this website that explains the steps: http://www.katinkahesselink.net/sufi/sufi.htm
The story of the monk is so accurate! Any realization is worthless if not lived Now. That became so obvious during the "closing down" experiences I had. Putting words to it is creating a story about it, and stories are not valid. It's a contraction into time and separateness. I think I wrote many posts on that when it happened. Isn't that something I know, then? It's so difficult dropping a "knowing" like that... it seems to be a knowing of a deep truth... and if that isn't Truth, there is great confusion here. For me it's more relevant to ask "Who knows that?" The problem is not the knowing, but the one who takes the cred for believing she knows it... |
|
|
|
Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 06:50:07 AM
|
Hi emc,
quote:
The problem is not the knowing, but the one who takes the cred for believing she knows it...
Maybe you know it, and you keep forgetting it. So the question could be: "who is the one who keeps forgetting it". 
Maybe Truth is not something you know, but something you don't know, and can only surrender to?
Christi
"Woman is a ray of God, she is not mere mistress. She is the Creator's self. One might even say, she is not created"
[Rumi] |
|
|
|
emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 1:55:53 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Maybe you know it, and you keep forgetting it. So the question could be: "who is the one who keeps forgetting it".
Thanks a lot for that question! I truly am very forgetful. Yesterday I forgot I had an appointment with my two best friends, and became one hour late. I put my glasses on and went out to the car. While driving I started noticing an increased tension behind the eyes... finally remembered I had the contact lenses in already! I also forgot the way while driving, so I had to take a little sightseeing tour around the neighbourhood before I remembered how to get there... In that condition, how can I expect myself to be able to remember huge existential Truths? *LOL* I'll start using that question for inquiry!
|
|
|
|
Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2009 : 08:56:53 AM
|
Hi emc,
When I become a Zen master, I am going to use "Who is the one who keeps forgetting?" as my main koan. Thanks for the inspiration.
Going back to the Sufi path...
I guess stage three must be not quite realizing that you need to surrender and stage four must be realizing that you need to surrender. I believe it is phrased slightly differently in the teachings, but it's close enough.
It occured to me that stage five is really the last stage as far as doing anything is concerned, because after that, it is all done for you. Stage six is like having got your boat out to sea with the sales out... all you have to do is watch the sunlight reflecting from the water. And in stage seven, you don't even need to do that. You are the water, and the sunlight, and the wind in the sail.... the Creator's self.
Christi
|
|
|
|
mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2009 : 1:14:54 PM
|
thank you emc
I have experienced the same thing, with my spiritual path going backwards. This was also of great help to me. |
|
|
|
Parallax
USA
347 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2009 : 1:57:42 PM
|
Hey all,
A bit late to the party here, but I seem to remember an excerpt from the book Daughter of Fire (Irina Tweedie), where she was going through a period in which she felt that nothing was happening on her path; that she had given away all of her money and sat for hours outside of her guru's house in the insane heat and nothing in her had changed. And she was told that having periods when you think that nothing is happening, is actually a sign of progress...interesting paradox. I'll try to track now the exact quotes.
Last weekend I felt myself "lapsing" after I had lost my patience in a particular circumstance. I was disappointed/angry with myself for the way I felt/acted and couldn't believe that those emotions were coming from me. I apoligized to everyone involved for my "unseemly" behavior, and was a little surprised that they didn't know what I was apoligizing for. Then it occured to be that maybe my lapse wasn't as dramatic as I had thought, but rather that I had become much more sensitive to when I was acting/thinking in a way that wasn't congruent with my True Self.
Perhaps it is that your moving forward, but that you have just become more sensitive to the inevitable dips along they way
Peace & Namaste
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Surrender
