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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
 Posted - May 01 2010 : 5:38:25 PM
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Hi TI,
I assume you have already read lesson 199 and lesson 287. If you haven't now would be a good time. Lesson 287 was written as a response to some questions that I put to Yogani a few years ago.
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I hope you have a speedy enlightenment. :)
You too.  |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2010 : 12:17:23 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Hi TI,
I assume you have already read lesson 199 and lesson 287. If you haven't now would be a good time. Lesson 287 was written as a response to some questions that I put to Yogani a few years ago.
quote:
I hope you have a speedy enlightenment. :)
You too.
Hi Christi, :)
Thanks! :)
You know, I had a really hard time re-reading those two lessons. My perineum started kicking in with waves and pulses and now I'm almost crawling the walls.. Sometimes Yogani's writings do that to me. But it was good to re-read them again. I wonder what Smileyogi would think of those lessons.
Those two lessons are quite interesting and very well written. I was actually surprised that Yogani suggests crown to root targeted bastrika, once a person is advanced enough and properly purified.
The only part that kind of surprised me is this, from lesson 287:
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Once we get to that stage, then what? Well, nothing much really. We just keep going with our stable practice routine (using prudent self-pacing), and our regular life. Contrary to popular belief, there is no place other than HERE that we have to go to -- no exit via the crown to some other exotic dimension. Actually, the opposite happens -- the ecstatic bliss (the exotic) comes in here from out there. That is the thing, you know -- the divine process is not us going somewhere else. It is the divine coming in through us into this life -- this ordinary life. It ends up melting our heart in an extraordinary way and flowing out through our actions. In AYP we call it outpouring divine love. That's it...
The reason for the suprise is that I once did a 3 1/2 hour meditation on the star above the head and ended up popping out of my body into a vast space, felt like I was dying and then after, I started seeing two fairies (I named them Ishta and Phaedra). I've also had other strange and interesting exits to exotic dimensions through the open crown. This seems to be at odds with Yogani's quote above so I find that a little confusing.
Perhaps "exiting to exotic lands" is literally getting caught in one of the dimensions in the sarahrara's petals and when the crown is fully purified those dimensions vanish? I've also read that each petal of the crown imbues it's own siddhi, so perhaps playing in the petals is an intermediate step only and one shouldn't stop there if one wishes to complete the whole journey...?
It is also an interesting twist for me to read that the divine enters our life through the crown. That is a new perspective. I mean, I've always heard that you bring down the divine light from above but I guess Yogani has taken it to it's logical conclusion, that the divine should manifest into one's life through the crown.. Hmmm. I contemplate what wonders we have yet to learn..
Thanks for your correspondence.
:)
TI
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2010 : 06:24:15 AM
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Hi TI,
quote:
You know, I had a really hard time re-reading those two lessons. My perineum started kicking in with waves and pulses and now I'm almost crawling the walls.. Sometimes Yogani's writings do that to me. But it was good to re-read them again. I wonder what Smileyogi would think of those lessons.
Yes, when the energy is running strong, you even have to be carefull what you read, and when.
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Those two lessons are quite interesting and very well written. I was actually surprised that Yogani suggests crown to root targeted bastrika, once a person is advanced enough and properly purified.
The crown has to be fairly stable before you can begin this practice. It is best to start off in small doses if you do start it.
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The only part that kind of surprised me is this, from lesson 287:
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Once we get to that stage, then what? Well, nothing much really. We just keep going with our stable practice routine (using prudent self-pacing), and our regular life. Contrary to popular belief, there is no place other than HERE that we have to go to -- no exit via the crown to some other exotic dimension. Actually, the opposite happens -- the ecstatic bliss (the exotic) comes in here from out there. That is the thing, you know -- the divine process is not us going somewhere else. It is the divine coming in through us into this life -- this ordinary life. It ends up melting our heart in an extraordinary way and flowing out through our actions. In AYP we call it outpouring divine love. That's it...
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The reason for the suprise is that I once did a 3 1/2 hour meditation on the star above the head and ended up popping out of my body into a vast space, felt like I was dying and then after, I started seeing two fairies (I named them Ishta and Phaedra). I've also had other strange and interesting exits to exotic dimensions through the open crown. This seems to be at odds with Yogani's quote above so I find that a little confusing.
Ishta is the name of one of my daughters.
I asked Yogani about this once (the leaving the body and travelling the inner planes) and here is what he replied:
"Hi Christi:
The nice thing about it is that we don't have to zoom anywhere. We are already there.
Where do we go when we do group samyama healing? Does it matter where in the world the person is? Nope. We just dial up the name, and we are immediately there, collectively in that case.
So, when we are dialing up "galaxy," "cosmos" and "unbounded awareness" in cosmic samyama, there is no place to go. We are there already. Samyama is about awakening what already is, and it is all here where we are right now. Stillness in action. " [Yogani]
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....page=2#41017
Christi |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2010 : 12:16:23 AM
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Hi,
I know I don't post much anymore as I seem to have lost my desire to fortify the mind with more clutter, but in this case I'll make an exception.
Yesterday I attended a one-day Kunlun Level 1 seminar facilitated by Douglas Purcell at the Self-Connection bookstore in Calgary Alberta!
There were six students present, three men and three women.
Overall the atmosphere was very calm and laid back.
Douglas presented a general introduction of Kunlun, mentioned some references to Max.
He said that we would be child-like during the seminar.
I asked several questions like:
- "Did you train under Max " He said he did.
- "Did the movie that Chris was making ever come out?" He said he didn't know for sure.
- "Have you seen anyone fall or walk through a wall" He said he hadn't. But he mentioned that Kan could transport himself and that the main problem was that when he did so, he could not bring clothes along with him. A short discussion ensued and someone mentioned that he could always arrange to have clothes at the location to where he transported himself.
Douglas then showed us the One Breath meditation and made us practice it a bit.
Douglas then showed us the Red Phoenix and made us practice that. (I have always wanted to know the Red Phoenix practice because you are not supposed to write it down and the only way to learn it is to have a teacher show you. I will respect this directive...) The Red Phoenix is a crown practice and would definitely be frowned upon in the AYP group due to it's likeliness of producing 'premature crown openings'. After I performed twelve cycles, I noticed quite a bit of heat in my head. When I mentioned that, Douglas said that this energy should be cool and cooling as it is the downward water flow.
He then showed us Kunlun Level one, but he did not mention the "Breathing in of white mist while floating in the sky" nor did he mention anything about raising the heels off of the floor. After a minute or so of practice I mentioned the raising of the heels to him and then he explained that part too. Later, when I mentioned the "Breathing in of white mist while floating in the sky" he didn't give that part very much importance and passed it off as a 'breathing routine'. Apart from that, the practice was identical to as it was described in the book ("Pillars of Bliss" - also "Kunlun").
During the Kunlun practice, Douglas walked up to each student and put his thumb on their brow with the fingers on the top of the head. He was exacting a transmission. When he did this to me, shortly after I saw a vision of Max looking at me, pointing his finger at me. There was also someone else with him but I couldn't see the face. All I could see was a dark reddish-brown monk's robe. Then I was engulfed in a cloud of tingles or surge of energy of some sort that lasted for few seconds. I continued to practice. My legs bounced quite a but I was having a bit of trouble letting go. The general feeling was that my upper body should have been moving in circles but that wasn't happening much. At one point, after holding his hand over my head and moving it in a circular path, Douglas said that I was balancing my yin and yang by the bouncing of my legs. I did not look at any of the other students so I don't know what was happening there, although I did hear many yawns from the lady sitting next to me and one of the men burst out laughing and this lasted quite a while. (He later apologized..)
After closing, Douglas showed us the standing postures (Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water) which we practiced for about 2 minutes for each posture.
Then he briefly mentioned Spirit Traveling followed by the Golden Flower Mudra to connect the three tan tiens. There was a short discussion about opening the spiritual eye
After the lunch break, we repeated the practices in the same sequence that we were first learned them.
The second time I started the Kunlun practice I noticed a large spring like thing at the root chakra that rose up to my heart. It felt like a field of energy. It was about 2 inches wide. I noticed it and it kind of surprised me. It looked like a stretched out spring, similar to the springs you see on car suspensions, just a little narrower. I had no idea what it was, perhaps the kundalini? It made me wonder if maybe the circular motion of Kunlun, which is supposed to start at the waist area is caused by this spring. Perhaps I was missing the boat by having my legs bounce? Perhaps I have yet to activate Kunlun?
For my evening meditation that night (after driving back home) I just sat, heart mudra, tongue on soft palate in easy posture. There was a very nice blissful feeling that arose and I just sat there and enjoyed it for 30 minutes.
Today was a very stressful day at work. I spent most of the day contemplating whether or not I should find a new job. The whole organization that I work for is in the process of amalgamating 12 divisions into one large entity and chaos/disorganization reigns.. My morning meditation consisted of just sitting and trying to let go. That's all I could do to get away from the stress. My emotional reaction has made me consider whether this extra boost of energy from the seminar has amplified my emotional energies.
During my afternoon meditation, I decided to do just mantra repetition and use the heart-meridian mudra (thumbs on middle fingers) because I noticed that it produces a fine blissy feeling. When I closed my eyes I saw areas of space which I had not seen before, lower down. There were what appeared to be dragons with wings flying around. I kind of ignored them, because the scenery was dark and not very pleasant. I thought it might have been a lower plane or something. It looked like a hologram. I brought my attention upwards. I could see fine images of things, like they existed in whispy fine etheric space in 3D. I proceeded to do the mantra repetition ("I AM") and because I'm troubled by all these visions during meditation I also now visualize the "I AM" while I'm repeating it. Actually, the words "I AM" starting appearing in the space above my head a few weeks ago, so I just look and focus on that visually. It really helps to control the visions during meditation. Oh yeah, the space above my head is now clear with a tinge of dark blue in it. It has been like that for a couple weeks now. Periodically, when the space comes down lower, my chakras and sushumna just shine with an indescribable glow of sparkling colors. Like precious jewels sparkling in the depth of space. Enough to make me fall in love with them.
The overall progression of development that Douglas mentioned is that the Red Phoenix charges up and develops the crown, Kunlun develops the chi or energy in the lower tan tien, and eventually both of these flows or energies are brought up and down and meet at the heart area where they combine in the heart space to start the process of creating the golden body. He did not go into much detail about that as that is an advanced practice. Perhaps it is similar to the Buddhists' rainbow body? I don't know.
Overall I found the Kunlun seminar to be very laid back and loose, not too technical with little emphasis on details. For example, Douglas said that the Red Phoenix would produce results or phenomenon, but he would not explain what those types of experiences would be. Douglas is a very nice personable human being and did mention that he would be available through email or phone should we require any future assistance. And yes, it was mentioned several times that smiling opens the crown... :)
Oh yeah, last point. I had mentioned that I have been practicing AYP for the last three years and Douglas expressed a deep interest in Kriya Yoga and Yogananda Paramhansa Yogi's writings. I mentioned that I thought AYP spinal breathing was very powerful and relayed the experience that I had when my body dissolved and became a jelly-fish of light during spinal breathing. I also mentioned that it is important to incorporate some kind of self-inquiry in your practices, to turn your attention to "who is experiencing" the phenomenon because that is where the jewel in the lotus is hidden.
All in all the seminar was a pleasant experience, something I've wanted to do for many years now..
:)
TI
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Edited by - Tibetan_Ice on Oct 05 2010 03:16:50 AM |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2010 : 7:11:17 PM
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Hi :)
Time for an update.
After the Kunlun seminar I spent a week or so practicing Kunlun and the Red Phoenix (along with my regular routine, just at different times). The things that struck me about the seminar, in retrospect were these: The kunlun attunement felt like a mild reiki attunement. The Red Phoenix is similar to spinal breathing, just in different areas. Gradually, due to a very busy schedule and an unwillingness to drop everything else just to practice Kunlun, I kind of put Kunlun on hold. I will keep the practices in my bag of tricks and bring it out when I feel I have to, for some reason.
I finished reading the Huna book and started telling my lower self to wake up at a certain time during weekend mornings (when I get to sleep in) and discovered that that works: The Secret Science Behind Miracles by Max Freedom Long.
I had to spend two weeks out of town during a training course and at that time I watched most of Nithyananda's videos on Youtube. They are most interesting especially considering that most all of his meditations start with the command to "Breath as slowly and as deeply as you can". I kind of like Nithyananda, it has to take alot of effort and will to smile like that all of the time.. (I realize that he is riddled with scandal at this time, but truth is where you find it, and you never know where you might find some good pointers. ) A few of his teachings that stuck with me are these: You can activate kundalini with willpower alone. Mulabhanda helps raise the Kundalini. That breath meditation is the most powerful and best meditation and the spaces between the breath are where to 'realize'.
About two weeks ago I went to a "Relationship Reiki Healer" and had my chakras cleared. He told me I had to work on my heart chakra, that my third eye was wide open and that I was on the verge of a kundalini explosion. He also told me that I had a warped sense of compassion and that I misinterpret sympathy for love. He put a cloud on my chest to stop me from having sympathy for people, so that I could sense what a normal relation between people should feel like. It lasted about three days.. He also told me that the star above my head was a symbol to me that I should have more fun. Since then I've lost interest in that star.
Around that time I also watched a Steven Norquist movie that someone else had posted on this forum: http://www.viddler.com/explore/Clea...314/1027.861
In that video he talks about becoming conscious in your dreams (you know, like Carlos Castenda/Don Juan suggested in some of his books) so I decided to try the Huna technique of commanding the lower self to become awake and aware in my dreams. That worked great! I've had many long clear dreams since I started doing that.
I also ordered the book by Steven Norquist called "Haunted Universe". When the book came in I read it once a night, every night. Friday night was the fifth time I was reading it.
I should also mention that I changed my mantra to "AUM SHREE SHREE I AM I AM NAMAHA" about 4 days ago. The day after I did that I noticed that I could see a very bright line of light up the sushumna to the center of the head and another one from the center of the head to the brow at a right-angle. The streak of light is about 1/16'th of a line thick. So, I started focusing on that during spinal breathing. Then, for some reason I decided to focus all of my attention directly above my head during mantra repetition, because there is a large open space there and it really helps quiet the mind because it takes more effort to combine this with mantra repetition. Yesterday, during the morning meditation, just by adding the "thrust of attention directly upwards through the top of the head", a very clear crisp series of visions appeared at my brow. The visions were of beautiful women watching me. In glowing detail, radiant, better than HD TV. I ignored them with great reluctance, but next time I am going to explore it more. Just for the fun of it. Nimittas?
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this post is because Friday night I had an interesting experience...
I was reading the part in the "Haunted Universe" where it says that there is no meaning in our acts. That hit a part in me which made me reflect on something my father once told me when I was a kid. He said, if you ever get to the point where you feel life's problems are building up uncontrollably, imagine that you are floating out in space, way above the earth. Look down at the earth.. see how insignificant it all appears?.
I then had a vision of thousands of people piled up upon each other, in one big meaningless heap. And no matter how important each person's accomplishments had been, it really meant nothing. Then, my kundalini blew open. It seemed very strange to me that the realization of the meaninglessness of accomplishments would start this type of reaction.
For the next hour, I experienced waves of ecstatic bliss coming up the spine, over the top of the head and back down around my body. My entire body was a field of ecstatic tingles. I sat there moaning and let it happen. The waves would start with an intense buildup in the perineum and then release up the spine. The intensity would last about 3 minutes, then it would die down and then start over. Just when I thought it was over it would start up again. Then I remembered what Guru Deva said in his "Merging with Shiva" book, that one should try to absorb as much of the energy as possible. So that is what I tried to do. Finally, after about an hour, it subsided. What an ordeal! However, I next started to burp! I couldn't quit burping. It was as if some large cloud of gas or air was being released through my stomach. This lasted for around 15 minutes. When it abated, I drank some water, chewed some tums and then went to bed. Had a hard time getting to sleep but eventually let go.
The next day I felt fine except it felt like my body had a mild case of the shakes, like there was some kind of second energy body inside my physical body which was pulsing and sending waves upwards.
Today, the day after the day after, I can feel the buildup in the root happening again. I wonder if I'm going to have another episode right away.
Other factors which I have changed which may have played a part in this kundalini eruption are these:
1) For the last 5 days I increased the bhastrika duration and intensity during my practices
2) For the last 5 days I also increased the physical pressure of the lower locks during spinal breathing
3) Haven't had any form of sex for 6 weeks
Somehow I can't believe that the knowledge or realization that all acts are meaningless could cause kundalini to blow. Pehaps that realization is a serious blow to the ego, causing it to step aside for a moment? Is it true that thoughts (such as the ego) are keeping the cap on the kundalini volcano and once released, well you know..
:)
TI
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2010 : 12:03:13 AM
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Hi, :)
I just wanted to say this: I reread a book called "Your Hands Can Heal You" at this link: http://www.yourhandscanhealyou.com/
In the book it discusses the idea that a breathing cycle of 6-3-6-3 is one method of supercharging the body with prana. (Inhale for a count of 6, hold for 3, exhale for 6 and hold for 3). The author says that the holding of the breath, both in and out is the part that charges the system with prana.
So, I decided to pause for a three-count at the top and bottom of the spinal breathing routine. I have been doing this for two days now. My basic understanding is that you gather the prana and then send that prana up and down the spine. When I first started, the pauses resulted in a lot of heat in the head. I could also get the heat to go down the spine fairly easily.
During my second sitting today, after about 5 minutes of this type of spinal breathing, my consciouness jolted, like I passed through to a dream world or astral plane. Right before, I had experienced fear, like I was going to suffocate (which is unusual for me since my spinal breathing is usually 9 counts in, hold for 1, 9 counts out.. etc). Anyway, right after that, the whole right side of the body was very hot and the left side of the body was very cold. I continued my routine, noting the peculiar state of opposite temperatures.
My analysis of this is that the extra prana put some extra power into the routine and it released some Kundalini up the ida and pingala instead of up the sushumna.
Am I correct?
:)
TI |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2010 : 11:07:09 PM
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Hi, :)
I quit doing sambhavi during meditation in an effort to make the third eye visions diminish during meditation. I've been trying to find the source of the light in the AUM and I AM mantras.
Last night I had an interesting experience. As I lay in my bed, slowly drifting off to sleep, I focused on the place at the center of the head where the subvocalized mantra comes from and then focused my attention forward from there. I was doing something but I know not what. All of a sudden this very big bright white light appeared before my eyes, more on the right side of the face and straight ahead. It was like someone had turned on the bedroom light or I was on a road looking into a car's high-beams. I did not get too excited, but just excited enough to lose the light.
So, I tried it again. As my attention approached this combination of looking through the eyes separately and then together, from the perspective of looking forward from the center of my head, the light appeared again!
Then, I got too excited and started analysing the technique and then I couldn't hit the light anymore or maybe I fell asleep.
I hope to be able to get to that light as I fall asleep because I feel that it is significant that I do so..
:)
TI |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 11:21:05 PM
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Hi, :)
For what it is worth...
I've been listening to "Finding the Still Point" by John Daido Lori. It is Zen breath meditation. I like his saying that, through perfect posture and stillness, the body dissolves and falls away. With continued practice, the mind dissolves and falls away too. So, I've spent a few days using a zafu to sit on, watching my posture and have even been meditating in full lotus (despite the pain lol).
Today, I just got thoroughly disgusted with all techniques and decided to just sit and watch my breath for both meditations. Even without doing anything, the visions or dreams come. During the afternoon meditation, I saw, for example, a scene from London with a black car in it, people walking on the street.. Then I saw a bright sun. Then I saw a lady in a long dark dress and apron walking by, looking at me, carrying a lamp. I put distance in between me and the scenes and regarded them as a tv that someone had forgotten to shut off. The feeling of the witness is growing considerably.
I did my best to ignore the scenes and not get interested in them. It was kind of like dispassionately observing, taking no interest or amazement, not trying to do anything. Just letting go.. It was a very restful meditation.
After that meditation I went to Wendy's and was standing in line, remaining perfectly still, waiting to order. Peaceful.. I was looking at the till counter, at the advertisement there, when all of a sudden the whole place lit up in very bright colors and superb detail. There were about 7 people working behind the counter, cooking, making burgers, manning the tills and running about. I was aware of all of them at the same time as well as the entire room. It felt like I was watching a High Def movie, like my awareness had expanded into an area about 30 feet in circumference directly before me. I felt like it was me, that I was the whole scene.
This is my fourth satori moment that I've experienced during the last 3 1/2 years. It lasted about 1 minute and then fizzled out, fading in and out after that. I tried to hang on to it, but just couldn't do so. I think it is related to fostering an attitude of detachment and stillness during meditation, and it carried over into everyday life.
I am pleased that these satori moments are still occuring. I used to think it was related to being in awe of the scene that I was percieving, like a beautiful tree or scenic river valley. But now I realize that these moments come from within and when they occur, it renders whatever you are looking at into a beautiful crisp clear colorful bright shiny field of awareness..
Onward Ho!
:)
TI
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 12:41:29 AM
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Hi :)
I quit mantra repetition, pranayama practices and almost everything about four weeks ago. I just got to the point where, after 3 1/2 years of regular practices, I felt I was getting nowhere. During that time I had many experiences, wonderful visions and great kundalini experiences of prolonged ecstatic conductivity. My only desire is to know the Self, to become enlightened and somehow I felt I wasn't getting any closer, that I was being lost in experiences, visions and impermanent phenomenon.
I feel that I've never experienced 'deep silence' except for a few times when I 'fell into a black hole like I was about to fall asleep and lose consciousness'. Any gaps in between thoughts were just that, gaps, but during those gaps there was always a background, some light or vision there beyond. I guess I've never realized deep silence.. This has frustrated me..
But this is what got me the most. This is a quote from Ramana's "Be as You Are" http://bhagavan-ramana.org/selfenqu...ractice.html :
quote:
Question: When I am engaged in enquiry as to the source from which the ‘I’ springs, I arrive at a stage of stillness of mind beyond which I find myself unable to proceed further. I have no thought of any kind and there is an emptiness, a blankness. A mild light pervades and I feel that it is myself bodiless. I have neither cognition nor vision of body or form. The experience lasts nearly half an hour and is pleasing. Would I be correct in concluding that all that was necessary to secure eternal happiness, that is freedom or salvation or whatever one calls it, was to continue the practice till the experience could be maintained for hours, days and months together?
Sri Ramana Maharshi: This does not mean salvation. Such a condition is termed Manolaya or temporary stillness of thought. Manolaya means concentration, temporarily arresting the movement of thoughts. As soon as this concentration ceases, thoughts, old and new, rush in as usual; and even if this temporary lulling of mind should last a thousand years, it will never lead to total destruction of thought, which is what is called liberation from birth and death.
The practitioner must therefore be ever on the alert and enquire within as to who has this experience, who realises its pleasantness. Without this enquiry he will go into a long trance or deep sleep (Yoga Nidra). Due to the absence of a proper guide at this stage of spiritual practice, many have been deluded and fallen a prey to a false sense of liberation and only a few have managed to reach the goal safely.
No, I did not quit meditating, but I have changed the type of meditation that I'm doing. I am seeking the "I am": Sometimes, during meditations, I just turn my point-of-view around backwards and try to see who is looking out. That doesn't seem to be working well, it feels like more of an intellectual exercise with the small mind.
Mostly, I have been sitting quietly focusing on the feeling of "I am" for my regular practices. If a vision appears, I ask "to who is this vision occurring?". If I feel a sensation or hear a noise I ask "to whom is this occurring?". This was the chosen method to return the attention inwards, perhaps towards the witness, but definitely towards the feeling of "I am".
During these practices this is what I've discovered:
1) After about 10 to 15 minutes of sitting, I feel a transition to the sleep stage whereupon I can view dreams appear, waiting to carry my attention away. If I don't focus on them and keep my attention focused inward towards "who is this vision appearing to?", then I don't get caught up in the dream(s) or visions. The dreams appear as if on a screen and there is distance between 'me' and the 'screen' surrounded by twilight vast open luminous space.
2) It had occurred to me, after hearing about the body's natural cycles of consciousness (normal consciousness, sleep with dreams, sleep with no dreams) and that these cycles occur in 90 minute rotations, that if one were to just sit silently and watch, one would experience the complete cycle in about 90 minutes. Hence, one would experience the state of 'deep sleep with no dreams' which is supposed to be the same state as deep silence. During a few extended sittings of 90 minutes or more, I recognized the various states, including the visual state of perceiving the chakras, the golden light, the etheric body.. The occurrence of these phenomenon seems to be very consistent and occurs spontaneously if you just let everything be and just watch without interfering.. Also, the witness seems to be a one dimensional mirror that reflects whatever it comes into contact with. Perhaps it is more of a filter? I feel that I am not the witness. Why? Because the Witness has no feeling of "I am".
3) At first it was very hard to find the feeling of "I am" and stay with it. During the first days of this style of meditation I found that I had a feeling of me if I thought of something, that is, if there was mental movement. I could taste a flavor of 'me' embedded in the thoughts. Then, for a few days, after reading some of Ramana's writings, I decided that the feeling of "I am" was the ego. Now, this is contrary to what Nisargadatta says about the sense of "I am" coming before anything else, but it was worth a try. The ego feeling for me seems to be behind the eyes towards the back of the head and I developed pressure and some pain from trying to maintain that perspective of attention. However, Ramana maintains that focusing on the ego will eventually deepen into feeling the "I am".
4) There is a feeling of 'me' that is looking out from my eyes, that never seems to change, this 'me' has existed as long as I can remember and is tied to various memories of experiences. The trouble with that feeling is that there must be something to look at in order to feel it's presence. And the feeling is very fleeting, easily clouded over..
5) Last night, in an effort to distill the 'feeling of I am" from my ego, memories and really look into it, I did a regression meditation and tried to remember as many events in my life, going as far back as I could. When I was finished, I asked myself "who was I before I was born?". This resulted in a small black hole and no response. I sat and waited in silence for any answer or vision, but nothing came. After that I realized that I was severely overloaded and had to ground myself... my head felt like a football.
6) Have you ever heard the idea that "Attention is not awareness"? Have you ever noticed that you might be thinking of something with highly focused attention and you will still hear a bird chirping, a dog barking etc? How can you be aware of things that you are not paying attention to? That is because there is something else, not the little you, that is registering these events. This realization has led me to believe that the little mind has a tool called attention, but the "bigger mind" has a much larger tool called awareness that works without effort or even intervention by the small mind (If I can put it that way ala Zen, you know, Big Mind small mind..).
7) This morning I read this, from the book called "Hunting the I" by Lucy Cornelssen
quote:
Keep very quiet and observe: This ‘I’ does neither think nor will; it has no qualities, is neither man nor woman, has neither body nor mind; it has no trace of the ‘Person’ which you had in mind during your previous questions about the ‘I’. It simply is conscious of itself as ‘I am’. Not ‘I am this’, ‘I am that’; only ‘Iam’.............................................................................
But beware: It’s not you who has this ‘I’...Consciousness as an object, but this Consciousness is your real ‘I’! This pure be-ing ‘I am’ is the first glimpse of the real ‘I’, the Self, which is by nature Pure Consciousness.
So, for my morning meditation I did exactly that. I sat very quietly and observed what was conscious of itself.. the feeling of "I am", that which comes before the mind and body are created.. trying to feel the "I" without effort, from the 'big mind', like hearing the dog bark.
well, to my surprise, after about 3 minutes of closing in on the "I" I found it! Or at least I think I have.
The circle of self attention, directed inwards towards the source of awareness, compressed (or revealed itself) and I found myself staring at a golden ball with various colors of light hanging around it's outside. When I asked the question "who is seeing this ball of fluidic light" I found myself inside the golden ball of light and could no longer see it. It felt very blissful, quiet and peaceful. Then, when I asked "who is feeling this bliss, quiet and peace?" I was ejected from that state and I realized that the mind was surrounding it with thoughts, and that my small mind had posed the question. I could see a meshing of white light filaments that I knew were thoughts. I came to the conclusion that thoughts can create other thoughts and that thoughts can grasp onto other thoughts. But inside the golden ball of light it was different. The thoughts were out there and "I" was in here.
Then I remembered, "Abide as the self". So I went back into the ball of golden luminous light and tried to stay there. It felt so wonderful, quiet, blissful, peaceful.. Then I came out, went back in, came out and kept this up for a bit. When I was out I could see the golden ball, the feeling was mildy ecstatic and I could sense the inner body. There were very fine tingles/vibrations spreading downwards towards my heart and it caused very ecstatic vibrations in the heart. Then the feeling continued down to the root.. all three centres were becoming alive with ecstatic vibrations. Then I felt a nice warmth emanate from top of the neck/base of the brain and go down the spine (or sushumna..?) I was surprised that there were ecstatic energy flows occurring.. uh, well maybe not now. I just remembered about melting the white drops causing them to drip down the sushumna (Tibetan Tummo practices..) causing ecstatic flows..
The meditation ended way too soon (35 minutes on a timer). I was very happy, awe-struck and inspired. I had realized the "I am"! Even now, a few hours after the experience, I have a kind of bliss happening and I can't wait for my next meditation session, to abide as the "I am". I feel like I have had a major breakthrough, a milestone.. a first baby step.. :)
I am trying to make sense of the experience for it seems that the "I am" is located inside the same area of the brain as the medulla oblongata. I remember Yogananda's teachings (Kriya Yoga), where it says that the medulla is the "Mouth of God", that this is the connection to God, that through which we are sustained by divine energy, and that we can draw upon that energy if so desired..
I wonder...
Since that meditation, my meditations have been very difficult. The excitement is hard to contain and is definately stiring my mind. I have to learn to focus on the "I am", and not on the "Golden ball of fluid light".. Also, there seems to be more space deep inside and the thoughts/energies/visions seem to be moving faster and easier than ever before.. I wonder if this is a side effect of some sort of clearing..
Anyway, that is my latest update..
:)
TI |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 04:07:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice
I had realized the "I am"!
What exactly do you mean by "I had realized the "I am"!".
Is it being inside the Golden Ball or just the blissuful state?
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2011 : 10:11:51 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by manigma
quote:
Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice
I had realized the "I am"!
What exactly do you mean by "I had realized the "I am"!".
Is it being inside the Golden Ball or just the blissuful state?
Hi Manigma, nice to hear from you :)
The whole experience was caused by my focusing on the feeling of "I am" but not just by focusing on the egocentrical me or the region I was placing attention on (again the small mind). I was trying to tap into that which perceives itself as existing and from a very broad perspective. I was trying to perceive that which hears the dog bark or the furnace kick in even when there is no conscious attention being paid to it.
Lately I've been thinking two things about that experience: 1) Focusing on the feeling of "I am" is a way to turn your attention inward, and, 2) Patanjali's samyama is a technique where you hold the object of concentration in continuous conscious attention until the object and subject merge into one, producing a state of samadhi. Depending on your choice of objects, different results are produced. Meditating on the feeling of "I am" is like performing Patanjali's samyama on yourself! So it must be a good way to realize what you are.
I don't think I have truly realized the "I am", I think I have simply found a method of finding the "I am" and it worked once. It is like a baby step. I found the door and went in and out a few times. Still can't reproduce it at will but it was sure nice to get a taste. :)
Funny, too, when I was 'in' the golden ball, I did not feel anything or sense anything in a mind or body way. And actually, I don't even know if I was really inside the golden ball. It was only when I came out that I could see the ball and realized the bliss, peace and energy movements that were occuring. After the first entrance and exit, by again seeking the feeling of "I am" everything disappeared again, so I am assuming that I was actually inside the golden ball. But at that point, focusing on the feeling of "I am" was the key to getting back into that state.
All the best to you :)
TI |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2011 : 01:10:29 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice
Funny, too, when I was 'in' the golden ball, I did not feel anything or sense anything in a mind or body way. And actually, I don't even know if I was really inside the golden ball. It was only when I came out that I could see the ball and realized the bliss, peace and energy movements that were occuring. After the first entrance and exit, by again seeking the feeling of "I am" everything disappeared again, so I am assuming that I was actually inside the golden ball. But at that point, focusing on the feeling of "I am" was the key to getting back into that state.
That is a beautiful experience TI. You are certainly on the right track and I am very happy the way you get a visual experience of it.
Next time try to break the ball from the inside when you are inside.
Let us know how it goes.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2011 : 10:13:55 AM
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Hi TI,
Great to hear you are taking some baby steps forward!
The golden ball is most likely your causal body (karana sharira). It is also sometimes called the bliss sheath (anadamayakosha). It is the third body and the 5th sheath. Both the conscious mind (manas) and the unconscious mind (chitta) are unable to enter the causal body, which is why it is so quiet in there. Also the 5 pranas are unable to enter so it's pretty still inside. You won't find much to distract yourself, unless you are really determined!
It is the body which is closest to the soul (atman). The first layer of the onion so to speak. Only the Buddhi (intuitive intelligence) and the ahamkara (ego) are able to enter the causal body.
Don't get stuck on it... your goal lies ahead my friend!
Carry on with your meditation practice.
Christi |
Edited by - Christi on Jan 10 2011 11:59:43 AM |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2011 : 12:35:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Hi TI,
Great to hear you are taking some baby steps forward!
The golden ball is most likely your causal body (karana sharira). It is also sometimes called the bliss sheath (anadamayakosha). It is the third body and the 5th sheath. Both the conscious mind (manas) and the unconscious mind (chitta) are unable to enter the causal body, which is why it is so quiet in there. Also the 5 pranas are unable to enter so it's pretty still inside. You won't find much to distract yourself, unless you are really determined!
It is the body which is closest to the soul (atman). The first layer of the onion so to speak. Only the Buddhi (intuitive intelligence) and the ahankara (ego) are able to enter the causal body.
Don't get stuck on it... your goal lies ahead my friend!
Carry on with your meditation practice.
Christi
Hi Christi :) So nice to hear from you again. And congratulations on your successful completion of the monolithic yoga instructor course that you took!
Thank you for your perspective on my experience. That is so interesting.. I found this link about the "karana Sharira" and have been reading about it. Yes, I would certainly describe it as a "Golden Seed".
http://www.rainbowbody.com/newartic...ergybody.htm
Interesting:
quote:
Sharira: Body. There are three sharira, the gross body(sthula sharira) , the subtle or astral body(sukshma sharira), and the causal body(karana sharira). The karana sharira is called the body of the seed of all seeds.
...
5) The anandamaya kosha (literally the bliss sheath) which is associated with the karana sharira or causal/seed body. In some systems there is a sixth sheath, the Hiranyagarbha kosha (which here will be discussed as existing as one aspect inside the anandamaya kosha). This karana sharira corresponds to the vajra body or diamond heart -- the immutable changeless and indestructible body of the primordial Buddha whose vehicle is the Dharmakaya.
and this:
quote:
Thirdly, those who have worked with the physical and subtle bodies in yoga in their past life and/or through extremely fortunate karma in past lives, or otherwise through Grace, then gather up their consciousness and energy consciously into the subtle body and from there having forged the connections to the karana sharira consciously bathe in pure bliss of undiluted love.
And I have found this reference too from one of my favorite sources.. Here is the link:
http://www.himalayanacademy.com/res...atures.shtml
quote:
Let's ask the question, "What, exactly, is it that makes this spiritual progress?" Not the personality. Not the intellect. Not the emotions. It is, of course, the soul. In thinking of spiritual progress, it is helpful to understand the concept of the soul as a human-like, self-effulgent form comprised of the life and light we previously talked about. Technically, there are two terms in Sanskrit for this immortal soul body: anandamaya kosha, "bliss body," and karana sharira, "causal body." Just as our physical body matures from an infant into an adult, so too does this self-effulgent body of light mature in resplendence and intelligence, evolving as its consciousness expands, gradually strengthening its inner nerve system, progressing from ignorance of God to intimate communion with God. In Sanskrit, this advancing on the path is called adhyatma prasara, spiritual evolution. It is a process that takes place over many lifetimes, not just one.
Don't worry, I'm not planning on stopping meditating any time soon, it's just starting to get really interesting!
:)
TI
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John C
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2011 : 02:23:50 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Hi TI,
Great to hear you are taking some baby steps forward!
The golden ball is most likely your causal body (karana sharira). It is also sometimes called the bliss sheath (anadamayakosha). It is the third body and the 5th sheath. Both the conscious mind (manas) and the unconscious mind (chitta) are unable to enter the causal body, which is why it is so quiet in there. Also the 5 pranas are unable to enter so it's pretty still inside. You won't find much to distract yourself, unless you are really determined!
It is the body which is closest to the soul (atman). The first layer of the onion so to speak. Only the Buddhi (intuitive intelligence) and the ahankara (ego) are able to enter the causal body.
Don't get stuck on it... your goal lies ahead my friend!
Carry on with your meditation practice.
Christi
Neti, Neti, Not This! Here at AYP we say that all visions, even of Golden Balls, are just scenery along the way. Place no significance in these visions. All interpretations are conjectural! The small self would love to view the scenery as accomplishment. But just favor your meditation practices. Remember, Neti,Neti! |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2011 : 03:12:57 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
The golden ball is most likely your causal body (karana sharira). It is also sometimes called the bliss sheath (anadamayakosha).
I think The Golden Ball that TI is referring to is infact The Mind itself (or the mind sheath / Manomayi Kosha).
http://www.sanatansociety.org/yoga_...has_yoga.htm
I am trying to break it permanently from last over 2 years.
And its pretty amusing I say.
*cough* *cough*
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2011 : 12:11:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by manigma
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
The golden ball is most likely your causal body (karana sharira). It is also sometimes called the bliss sheath (anadamayakosha).
I think The Golden Ball that TI is referring to is infact The Mind itself (or the mind sheath / Manomayi Kosha).
http://www.sanatansociety.org/yoga_...has_yoga.htm
I am trying to break it permanently from last over 2 years.
And its pretty amusing I say.
*cough* *cough*
The manomaya kosha (mental sheath) is one of the three koshas of the astral body (sukshma sharira). The astral body is the body of light which is the same shape as the physical body.
Without your mental sheath, you wouldn't be able to think, so be careful not to break it!
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2011 : 12:14:35 PM
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Hi TI,
"having forged the connections to the karana sharira consciously bathe in pure bliss of undiluted love."
Yes, that's the causal body.
From here on you have to rely on grace to take you the rest of the way.
Good luck! |
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2011 : 6:40:00 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by John C
Neti, Neti, Not This! Here at AYP we say that all visions, even of Golden Balls, are just scenery along the way. Place no significance in these visions. All interpretations are conjectural! The small self would love to view the scenery as accomplishment. But just favor your meditation practices. Remember, Neti,Neti!
Hi John, :)
Thank you for your input.
I agree, if you are seeing scenery, that's not it. More important is "who is seeing the scenery". My experience was one of going back and forth from 'inside the golden ball' to 'outside the golden ball'. When I was 'inside' (or wherever I was) there was no scenery.
On another note, I thought I would introduce Ramana's position on the "neti neti" just to clarify and gain some perspective:
link:
http://bhagavan-ramana.org/selfenqu...eptions.html
quote:
Another widespread misunderstanding arose from the belief that the Self could be discovered by mentally rejecting all the objects of thought and perception as not-self. Traditionally this is called the Neti-Neti approach (not this, not this). The practitioner of this system verbally rejects all the objects that the ‘I’ identifies with –‘I am not the mind’, ‘ I am not the body’, etc.-in the expectation that the real ‘I’ will eventually be experienced in the pure uncontaminated form. Hinduism calls this practice ‘self-enquiry’ and, because of the identity of names, it was often confused with Sri Ramana Maharshi’s method. Sri Ramana Maharshi’s attitude to this traditional system of self-analysis was wholly negative and he discouraged his own followers from practising it by telling them that it was an intellectual activity which could not take them beyond the mind. In his standard reply to questions about the effectiveness of his practice he would say that the ‘I’-thought is sustained by such acts of discrimination and that the ‘I’ which eliminates the body and the mind as ‘not I’ can never eliminate itself.
:)
TI
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2011 : 11:59:16 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Without your mental sheath, you wouldn't be able to think, so be careful not to break it!
Well I am not thinking when I am breaking it.
So I guess I can live without it and the shariras.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 03:01:26 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by manigma
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Without your mental sheath, you wouldn't be able to think, so be careful not to break it!
Well I am not thinking when I am breaking it.
So I guess I can live without it and the shariras.
Not really. The one thing you can't do without the shariras (bodies) is live! That's what they are designed for, and the only function they serve.
As for the causal body, you can't break it. It is made of a matter far more subtle even than prana. You simply don't have anything that you could break it with.
If I were you I would stop trying to break it and start doing something more useful with your energy.  |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 04:07:56 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Not really. The one thing you can't do without the shariras (bodies) is live! That's what they are designed for, and the only function they serve.
I must be thinking when I wrote that. I should have used the words like "exist" or "being" instead of live.
quote:
As for the causal body, you can't break it. It is made of a matter far more subtle even than prana. You simply don't have anything that you could break it with.
Whatever is built can also be broken. Its just that something's are much tougher to break (especially those which have taken lives to build).
quote:
If I were you I would stop trying to break it and start doing something more useful with your energy.
Like what?
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 04:46:13 AM
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Hi Manigma,
quote:
quote:
If I were you I would stop trying to break it and start doing something more useful with your energy.
Like what?
Like surrendering, and becoming a channel of Divine love on Earth. You don't need to break down what has been built. It serves a purpose. Without it the Divine light cannot flow into the universe.
Become a channel for that light, and love and serve in the world. For that you need a stronger causal body, not a broken one, one which is better able to illuminate the manifest creation and flow as love into the hearts of others. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 06:06:47 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Like surrendering, and becoming a channel of Divine love on Earth. You don't need to break down what has been built. It serves a purpose. Without it the Divine light cannot flow into the universe.
Become a channel for that light, and love and serve in the world. For that you need a stronger causal body, not a broken one, one which is better able to illuminate the manifest creation and flow as love into the hearts of others.
The Universe and the Divine Light are both creations of your mind.
As long as the mind exists, you will keep producing more Universes and bringing Divine Light into them.
I see the Universe just as I see a Mayfly.
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2011 : 06:15:38 AM
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Hi Manigma,
quote:
The Universe and the Divine Light are both creations of your mind.
As long as the mind exists, you will keep producing more Universes and bringing Divine Light into them.
Almost. The universe, as we see it, is a creation of the mind, but divine light exists before the mind. Mind, and the universe, which is it's projection, are lower manifestations of that light.
The causal body exists beyond the mind, and is created from divine light. It is created by the light that you are. It is also created by the love that you are.
If you want to spend your time trying to destroy what you are, that is up to you. But when you have finished, remember there is another way.
Christi |
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