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 Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development
 Blocking and Dealing with Lustful Desires
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Reno2233

USA
8 Posts

Posted - Jun 05 2024 :  10:35:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hello All,

I'm new to the community and a frequent lurker. I want to take the opportunity to say I am amazed by the sheer amount of positivity and guidance offered here. The responses and advice feels genuine and open hearted. Also want to give a BIG thanks and show of appreciation to Yogani. The AYP practices are changing my life for the better and I am forever thankful!

I've been keeping up with my daily practice of DM and SBP. Prior to AYP, I solely practiced breath meditation with no pranayama, mulabandha etc.. I've managed to upkeep my AYP practices over the last few months or so. I've only taken on DM over breath meditation in the last few weeks and I'm already seeing/feeling results. My question around lust for pornography and masturbation is..

Why do I still struggle with urges for lust, porn and overindulgence, despite my consistent mediation practices? I'm more aware but have issues nipping the sexual urge and acting out. Spinal breathing and DM are regular practices for me now but I'm still faced with the same issues around lust.

Furthermore, I'm trying to understand and incorporate tantric methods to further expand EC and spiritual growth. I decided to practice the blocking method using a very strong pelvic contraction and hold. However, despite the blocking a bit of semen slowly leaked out. I figure these things take practice..

My last question is, does the seminal leak indicate a failed tantra practice? Does this mean blocking is working against my overall growth? My hope was a successful blocking would boost my sexual confidence and trust in myself to retain semen despite my lustful urges, but it seems to have done the opposite.

Please let me know your thoughts

Dogboy

USA
2242 Posts

Posted - Jun 05 2024 :  11:58:07 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello Reno and welcome!

Over time your practices allows inner silence to come forth, and while doing so, the shushumna (in this yogi) expands and contracts in waves from the root. Through silence, conductivity, and tantra, the body is able to express upward instead of through the penis. If anything, as you purify, the compulsions may test you further. Once the body is capable of this, the desire for ejaculation greatly reduces (again, in this yogi in his sixties, not 27) instead the shushumna can feel quite expansive, and the silence very palpable.

But what to do right now. I believe if anything is troubling, one should, after practice and in rest, sit with the feelings, watch the feelings, ask simply of the feelings, allow the feelings to do what they will, eventually, hopefully, leading back to silence. It never hurts to check in with yourself, and the body is super receptive in the echoes of practice.

Blocking was never had appeal for me, it seems too clunky and disruptive. You do not mention if you are alone or with a partner, but if alone, allow for an orgasm a week, and have as much fun with the in-between, working on matching your breath to action, embodying quiet- and openness, staying in front of orgasm as you can. There really isn't failure if you are dedicating yourself toward liberation, if you lose semen, rub it into your skin or your partner's, make whatever happens part of your practice. You find confidence inside and out through practice. You are also young and have plenty of time so remember to be playful and vulnerable. Lust is a thought that might lessen with inquiry, or pass as you age and purify.
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Christi

United Kingdom
4429 Posts

Posted - Jun 06 2024 :  11:47:32 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Reno,

Some prana is always lost when blocking. If some semen escapes, then more prana will be lost, but even with successful blocking, more prana is lost than by simply remaining pre-orgasmic and staying away from orgasm completely.

Blocking by using only the muscles at the perineum is actually quite a difficult way to block. It requires very strong pelvic floor muscles. On top of that, ejaculations following blocking can get stronger over time, so even if it works successfully once or twice, it may not work the third, or fourth time. Blocking using the fingers at the perineum is easier, but again, will often tend to get more difficult over time as the energy builds up. For these reasons, blocking is recommended only as a training aid for men learning tantric sexual practices. Over time, there will be a natural desire to move to pre-orgasmic sexual activity only.

It is good not to think in terms of "success" and "failure" when it comes to tantric sexual practices. It is better to think in terms of moving in a certain direction - moving towards a spiritual sexual life, where more energy is retained and cultivated in an upwards direction. But within that, there are likely to be a lot of ups and downs. Most people are used to only going outward with sexual energy, and it can be a big learning curve to train the body to do something differently. A regular meditation practice also helps to create new habits and tendencies in the mind and body, but again, it takes time.

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interpaul

USA
540 Posts

Posted - Jun 06 2024 :  10:36:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Why do I still struggle with urges for lust, porn and overindulgence, despite my consistent mediation practices?


Reno, We each have a different relationship with pleasure. Pornography is like many of the temptations of modern times, a super stimulus, like processed sugar and narcotics, which can overwhelm our capacity for restraint. Our brains weren't designed for these super stimuli. Overlaying religious and cultural expectations and there can be a lot of guilt, shame and control at play. Meditation, and particularly the AYP practices, can offer a different path. I have found this journey over the last 6 years very helpful. I like Christi's framing. It's not about success but a movement in a different direction. Neurobiologically these practices gradually form new connections that change our experience. We are programmed biologically to procreate. To restrain this physical drive is nearly impossible. To coax it in a different direction is one of the great discoveries of the East in my opinion.

I found the blocking methods problematic as they can work to some degree but don't feel good and ultimately one needs to form a different relationship with pleasure. The preorgasmic state is not familiar to most people and takes time to cultivate and appreciate. This is a challenging and rewarding journey as it will force you to face many of your attachments and old beliefs. The desire doesn't go away, and in face, gets more intense as you mature in the practices.

I am grateful to Yogani for creating an alternative path. Many religions and spiritual practices create shame and frame pleasure as a sin. AYP offers an alternative way to redirect these natural energies that can be truly transformative.
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Reno2233

USA
8 Posts

Posted - Jun 07 2024 :  05:31:31 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello Dogboy & Christi!

I appreciate the welcome, I'm glad I sent the question in and joined the AYP forum! I've seen you both with activity in other Q & As, lending a virtual hand to others. You've helped me so much in improving my practices and understanding the causes & effects. This is so cool!! Again, thank you so much for your time!

The Sushumna is another name for the spinal nerve? At least that is how I understand it to be. Speaking of the spinal nerve, I'm noticing alot of pressure and flow at the base of my spine. Not only this but I'm experiencing what feels like a "line of pleasure" up from the root to my mid spine. It is there and I feel it 24/7 even outside of practices. Would this indicate progression/expansion of my Sushumna?

During SBP I can feel literal pleasure and bliss flowing up the spine. Strong waves of pleasure that flow upward throughout the duration of the SBP practice. Recently, after switching to DM instead of breath meditation, it's like I'm falling into a sea of ecstasy! I feel the pleasure sensations heavily around my heart center and in my lower stomach. This background bliss/ecstasy lasts as I go on with my day for a few hours eventually fading. Is this the early signs of purification and permanent EC? Oddly enough, I noticed ALOT more pleasure and ecstatic feelings arising in my sitting practices the next day following my holdback and blocking session. Even after a bit of semen slipped out while attempting blocking.

I was giving blocking a try to see my grasp on it. I was hoping to have much more control in this area. In the tantra lessons, Yogani spoke of obsessions and compulsions to sex such as pornography. He said if these things arise to use the holdback and blocking methods and the experience will gradually move to another realm. These words motivated me so much that when a sexual urge hit, I decided to try it. I know this isn't best practice and I probably won't go about it this way in the future.

To clarify, I'm currently single so the blocking method was practiced in a solo session. I'm not sexually active currently, at least to the extent of a committed partner. I suppose the desire to master the blocking method was to ensure I can retain the semen when the time for partnered sex comes. Perhaps I'm putting too much thought into this area of the spiritual end. However, as Christi mentioned, it sounds like blocking is truly more of a last resort rather than a frequent practice. Does this mean blocking should only be used in this manner solely like an emergency button, even during partnered sex?

Lastly, in terms of sexual urges I will approach them in the manner suggested by Dogboy. It is my hope that with daily practices this feeling/urge will diminish with arising inner silence. Until then, I will use it as an opportunity to tune into my body similar to my sitting practices.

What are your individual views on porn? Something inside me tells me it is not conducive to spiritual advancement and is not a supporting means for solo tantric practice. What are your thoughts? Does one naturally move away from the lower lustful activities as we progress?

One thing is 100% certain. I will continue with a twice a day SBP and DM practice no matter the ups and downs. I'm very interested to hear your thoughts!
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Reno2233

USA
8 Posts

Posted - Jun 08 2024 :  03:50:21 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello Interpaul!

I didn't see your response last night when I replied to Dogboy and Christi. My apologies! I appreciate your time and sharing of your experiences. I feel as if pornography is one of those external strongholds that will always be present for me. I've managed to quit other vices such as tobacco and alcohol but porn is one that?s longstanding. I was playing with fire so to speak when I was attempting the blocking using porn in solo practice. The blocking felt clunky and almost as if I was going against something and making it even harder on myself. I?m single so I was justifying it's used to fill in the space and time. However, I feel I'd do better just focusing on the right handed practices for a while. Sticking to my SBP and DM practices for now.

I fear my overindulgences in pornography and masturbation the last couple days has really set me back in terms of spiritual progress. The feelings of EC are starting to fade when I felt prominent ecstasy during the day before. How can I get back on track in this sense? Just stay away from pornography and abide by the daily core AYP practices?
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interpaul

USA
540 Posts

Posted - Jun 08 2024 :  11:23:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Reno, Yes, pornography is a very compelling force. I won't tell you it is easy as it took me many years of effort to break that attachment but I can say from experience, AYP practices have given me the skills to be free. I have not found another system that has embraced these vital/primal forces in a direct way like AYP. I have come to realize the only way to overcome an "addiction" like this is to acknowledge it is a normal and natural force, THE life force. We cannot deny it. Yogani cautions against being too aggressive with bramacharya as it can and does lead to distortions in thought and behavior. Additionally it takes time for the neurobiological changes to take place to allow for one to release one's attachment. What I mean by that is the maturation of ecstatic conductivity gradually baths your pleasure centers in a more sustained essence which eases the cravings, at least in my experience. The challenge is to let go of old patterns as the new ones emerge. As an example, to let go of the compulsive reliance on masturbation to porn with ejaculation and enjoy the sensations of being preorgasmic is not something that happens immediately.

Be kind to yourself, and patient. I wish I had found AYP as a young man as it would have saved me from many years of suffering. If you overindulge and feel your EC fade release that, i.e. don't beat yourself up. The energy will return and you will slowly learn to release less often and then learn to cultivate these new energies upward. Yogani has given you all the tools to succeed. Trust another journeyman who has walked this path and has found it a fruitful path.
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th1996

Germany
33 Posts

Posted - Jun 09 2024 :  4:49:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi all, I am not sure because of the blocking method now. I block mostly once in a week on purpose, and that mostly my whole journey (8 years). Should I stop it and try to stay pre-orgasmic? Is it, if we do it once a week for years unhealthy?

And to porn, I am watching it very often, almost daily. Is it really so harmful to spiritual progress?

My bhakti is relatively high, so I think I would make it if it is necessary to stop porn and (blocking) orgasm. But it would be very hard for me.
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Dogboy

USA
2242 Posts

Posted - Jun 09 2024 :  8:10:12 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Hi all, I am not sure because of the blocking method now. I block mostly once in a week on purpose, and that mostly my whole journey (8 years). Should I stop it and try to stay pre-orgasmic? Is it, if we do it once a week for years unhealthy?

And to porn, I am watching it very often, almost daily. Is it really so harmful to spiritual progress?

My bhakti is relatively high, so I think I would make it if it is necessary to stop porn and (blocking) orgasm. But it would be very hard for me.


Staying pre-orgasmic is the standard. Blocking should be considered an "emergency brake" if you wandered to close to orgasm, and thus should not be routine. Practice is the only way to master the task of training your body to transmute sexual energies upward instead of outward.

If you watch pornography on a daily basis, it might be helpful to inquire about and witness your thoughts before and during the act of watching. Perhaps you can start by not touching your body in any way during it and observe how your mind is processing desire, and if there are other "healthier" outlets for expressing desire.
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th1996

Germany
33 Posts

Posted - Jun 15 2024 :  10:30:04 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank u Dogboy for your answer.

Do u think that on a physical level that blocking is unhealthy?
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Dogboy

USA
2242 Posts

Posted - Jun 17 2024 :  03:48:15 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Rather thinking it healthy/unhealthy, it's more that it is clumsy, may not completely divert ejaculate into the bladder, and also an indication your desires are overriding your intention to stay pre-orgasmic. Rather than putting attention on blocking, it is better to put it on what is happening in the moment, and honoring your intention.
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Christi

United Kingdom
4429 Posts

Posted - Jun 17 2024 :  10:22:55 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi all,

Blocking is not dangerous. All it does is to redirect semen into the bladder instead of it being released through the penis. This is what happens for men during retrograde ejaculations.

But, as I mentioned above, there is some loss of prana during blocking, which is why it is not recommended as a standard tantric sexual practice. Whilst men are learning tantric sex, there will be many times of accidentally going over the edge. This is why blocking is offered as a training tool whilst learning. It is better than simply ejaculating normally. But in terms of tantric sexual practice it is kindergarten stage. Once some mastery is attained then blocking will become rare, or something that is never needed and pre-orgasmic sex will become the norm.

Some men find it difficult to always remain pre-orgasmic and will experience a gradual buildup of energy over time which can feel uncomfortable. In that situation one ejaculation a week, or every two weeks, will usually be enough to release the energy. That could be with or without blocking. More often than that would result in too much energy loss for most men and that would slow down their spiritual progress.
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th1996

Germany
33 Posts

Posted - Jun 19 2024 :  7:49:10 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank u for your clarification, Christi!!
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