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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 3:29:34 PM
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Namaste, Yogis:
I have been practicing AYP for 12+ years and have a few things to say. I welcome any feedback and wish to express gratitude to Yogani and the community here. Thank you _/\_
I came across aypsite.org initially in 2008 via web search. I had previously practiced several different types of meditation. AYP became my daily practice. The method- awesome. The mantra- used the various enhancements over a 5-6 year period. The final enhancement is still active and dissolves easily into silent bliss. Self-pacing- good. Many crazy stories thanks to excess.
Spinal breathing pranayama became a staple practice from day one. Also, Yoni-mudra, kumbhaka retention rotations, siddhasana, etc.. these practices lead to a kundalini awakening in the early years. This progressed along with the realization of being the witness. Self-inquiry. Surrender. Ecstatic bliss. Unfortunately I became imbalanced at times in that there was no desire to interact with anybody except yogis. I’d rather close my eyes and be quiet than speak with people. In general. Not a great way to be relatively human.
Samyama is very significant in relating with people and becoming more expressive and interactive. The magic that grows through our family is truly amazing. I’m surrounded by divine beings and appreciate this incredible life beyond measure. It’s not easy though. The power churns up many issues from the depths of consciousness, and it’s not limited to my physical body. The refinement of perception also leads to empath/telepath type situations. It’s not easy watching a loved one have an energy awakening without having yoga practice or theoretical framework for it. But it happens, and it’s astonishing. Thy will be done. /
More of the internal samskaras are surfacing every day, providing the opportunity to witness, understand, apologize, forgive, let go, and surrender. However, many of us learned blame and shame as ways to deal with our mistakes. I’ve found this to be counterproductive, it makes no positive difference and instead increases trauma to be dealt with later. Resolution is more effective minus negative self reflection. Less ruminating, more Rumi.
Gratitude for AYP and you all. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 03 2021 4:02:21 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 6:36:45 PM
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| Also would like to add that for folks starting out with AYP: if you have a significant other, it would be better to begin together sooner than later imho. I didn’t realize early on that our paths would inevitably merge... the sooner the better for us in finding the same page, common ground, language, etc. There were many conversations, many things unsaid and tucked away for later, building potential and eventually finding expression. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 07 2021 6:43:04 PM |
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interpaul
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 8:36:43 PM
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| Saktidas, Thanks for your sharing. I have been practicing AYP for 18 months and share in your gratitude to Yogani for his teachings and the power of many of the practices you've been doing. I hear a mixed bag in your sharing and wonder if you have a specific issue you wanted to explore more with the group. Your comments about having a significant other participate in AYP sounds like good advice when you have a partner who has an interest. In my case my wife has zero interest in matters spiritual. I do believe she is indirectly benefiting from my slow spiritual growth as I am learning let go of many controlling behaviors and accept her as she is. I'd be curious to hear more about your personal experience with any significant others in your life, especially in the context of your comments about having "no desire to interact with anybody except yogis..." |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 9:39:17 PM
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| “who has an interest...” agreed. All Bhakti flowers in divine time. There were opportunities early on, we just missed them. Life finds a way. |
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Dogboy
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2021 : 11:34:16 PM
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Welcome Saktidas 
Thank you so much for your report. I love hearing about, over time of a disciplined practice, how samskaras surface and how you are learning to interpret and act accordingly.
It sounds as if samyama helped you “flow outward”, and indeed is an amazing practice of surrender, off-loading interior energy and noise, and sending your ripples/desires/prayers/intentions into the “ether”; expanding beyond the vessel that is you. I love how it balances out the interior actions of SBP and DM, and how I feel the integration in the rest period that follows.
I am curious if you are still including energetic kumbhaka and yoni mudra in your daily practice. They are only occasional for me after seven years, and only when I feel the need for a “boost”, as it is relatively easy in my current stage to generate ecstatic conductivity by attention alone.
As for my partner, she too is not spiritually inclined, but whole heartedly supportive of my yoga world, so no heartaches in that regard. We have had trials along the way and I am living proof that my AYP practice helped me navigate the shoals, buffered me from suffering, given me loving tools and sutras that has strengthened my marriage and commitment to our union, in degrees she may not be even aware of, but has benefited her nonetheless  |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 09:55:31 AM
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Welcome to the forum Saktidas. Thank you for sharing.  |
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lightandlove
Germany
85 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 11:31:07 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Saktidas
Also would like to add that, hey! People starting out with AYP: if you have a significant other, it would be better to begin together sooner than later. Later will be ok too, but better to do it together from the start. It needs to be said more. It could spare a lot of heartache for some.
Hi Shaktidas,
could you elaborate this further?
My significant other did not resonate with AYP so far, it was too much for her in the beginning as she did not do any practices before we got to know each other, but slowly started to do her own things after a while. We both appreciate our practices and sometimes also practice together, but each on their own. :) |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 11:57:35 AM
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Hey Dogboy, thanks for the welcome. Yeah, I still practice the fundamentals in the different areas on a monthly basis (keeping practices integrated). Daily sits in pranayama, etc. brings excess in my case. My default day life more and more is breath/space awareness.
My first spouse ate shrooms and LSD with me in college. We had a few peak experiences. During these experiences, I began to realize that there was more to reality than I was normally perceiving. Couple years later we got married and had a child. She became a devout Mormon. I was shocked. The church that I had the biggest aversion to. We and Maya Sakti were brewing up an explosive situation. I felt strongly that the kids wouldn’t be brainwashed by LDS or any religious education. She put pressure on me to join the church and I put pressure on her to leave the kids out of it. We were fortunate to divorce quickly and amicably. After our divorce, she left LDS and went Wicca :-0. Mind blown. I was meditating and had the occasional psychedelic trip. She became increasingly erratic and imbalanced and lacking any disciplined practice.
My wife is super sensitive. I never pushed practices or a philosophical framework on her. Highest priority for our relationship is in honesty/transparency. So, we talk a lot even if it’s outside of our comfort zone, even when it hurts to. She has gnarly trauma from childhood which goes from latent to active in meditation and is completely overwhelming. We’ve been incredibly fortunate to become aware of other ways besides formal meditation, especially simply listening as spacious awareness.
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Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 04 2021 12:16:14 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 12:16:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by lightandlove
quote:
Originally posted by Saktidas
Also would like to add that, hey! People starting out with AYP: if you have a significant other, it would be better to begin together sooner than later. Later will be ok too, but better to do it together from the start. It needs to be said more. It could spare a lot of heartache for some.
Hi Shaktidas,
could you elaborate this further?
My significant other did not resonate with AYP so far, it was too much for her in the beginning as she did not do any practices before we got to know each other, but slowly started to do her own things after a while. We both appreciate our practices and sometimes also practice together, but each on their own. :)
All I’m saying, is if there is an opportunity, and authentic inclination to be on the path together, that is a gift. Inevitably the power is going stir up sediment from consciousness not only in self but also in those close by. In my life, this became apparent through extraordinary situations and circumstances in some cases, and slow,steady, and mundane in other contexts. Consistently moving that direction. Sounds like the two of you have a good thing going. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 04 2021 12:17:08 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 12:36:41 PM
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| Thank you, Sunyata |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2021 : 11:13:44 PM
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I wasn’t going to say anything and just accept her as she was. But when I discovered what had happened to her, I couldn’t stay silent any longer.
As I was resting into a sort of yogic sleep, just chillin like satchitananda, no real form. I woke up, basking in the sun, the birds are singing and my dearly beloved lets out a little squeak. Like a tiny scream.
Turns out she was in sleep paralysis. Happens to her at intervals. It wasn’t until I spoke and touched her that she was able to move again and very gradually came out of it with relational inquiry. We had an experience before where it was interpreted as being encapsulated in a pixel. In the context of spectrum that has no beginning and no end, we encapsulated ourselves into a single pixel and became frozen in time. In this way, can discuss particular things in an objective way without any particular framework. So, woke up and noticed her frozen quiet desperation, felt it through our bond and it saturated me empathically. The pixel in this case is made up of the fruits of childhood abuse. It is very small and overwhelming. Every expression from that point of view is on the extreme dark area of the spectrum. Audible speech from the position
becomes like the crosse between a self-fulfilling prophecy and unwitting sorcery. Somebody has to say something else and recognize the other pixels and all the space.
From my perspective, if each way of being is kinda like a pixel. The basic thing my kids learned growing up is that they can choose their attitude. Knowledge. Will. Action. Knowing this helps. And it points to the space between. Just noticing that we each have the potential and the choice to be any expression of life. But here, my dearly beloved had contracted herself into a small bit with overwhelming fear, shame, guilt, anger, loathing, insignificance, smallness.
Samyama
Still, she remains frozen until I say something. Point out the space between pixels? The unity of space and awareness? Remind her of her glorious qualities? Yes to all of the above. Because our main priority is honesty. Otherwise we’d keep it all to ourselves and just listen to the echo chamber. Even then though, we are surrounded by angels... and everything is going to be alright. Legions of saktis inhabit all the pixels and they’re saying in my creative interpretation ( it’s not English) But it is something like an enthusiastic response in unison with what’s being said. And they delight in spoken words. Every sutra is celebrated like a cosmic party, and they are singing and dancing and celebrating. But minus audible vibrations, touch, and care... If one is trapped in a small box and dark voices keep reverberating off the walls, my interpretation is misery and suffering. It’s contagious too. So, I’ll speak up. I can’t imagine keeping things from her... she sees through it all. In Secrets of Wilder, didn’t John disappear into a brilliant flash of light? Did anyone ever know where he went? Devi?
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Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 11 2021 11:51:41 PM |
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Blanche
USA
859 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 07:40:42 AM
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Hi Saktidas,
Welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing your experiences. Experiences on the spiritual path can be fascinating - and distracting. It is good to consider that we are here for more than doing sitting practices and enjoying experiences - otherwise we would be living in caves Taking care of your children and doing what you can for your ex-wife can change in a positive way the life of three people + yours.
Traditional yoga texts acknowledge the use of mushrooms to change the state of consciousness, but they also warn that this should be done with guidance from a master and that these experiences leave residues that require further purification. Frequent use of mind-altering substances make for an erratic journey and may create more blockages. Meditation and other yoga practices assure a smooth gradual transformation, as you know.
As about convincing our loved ones to join us in the spiritual practices, simply keeping up a regular program and improving the quality of our life and relationships may be the best argument. As a principle, it is good not no push our choices on other people, and offer them only if they ask. If you keep practicing, it is almost unavoidable that your family and friends will ask: "You seem so calm and happy and pleasant lately. What are you doing?" "How come you have so much energy?" "What do you do to stay positive?" "I know that you meditate. How do you do that?" etc. And then you can tell them about your practice. We are all on a journey.
The guru is in you. |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 10:59:25 AM
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Hey, Blanche,
Thank you for all the advice. Unfortunately it doesn’t really relate with what I’m saying and the pretense isn’t necessary. I don’t have a problem and not looking for advice. Being-aware has digested every experience so far and will continue on just fine. I’ve noticed how “blockages” in your terms, dissolve when they are noticed, recognized, and acknowledged. So... here we are, bringing things to the surface of attention. I’ve kept many words to myself for years and quietly carried on in samyama. I apologize if this seems like a lot of baggage. It’s not really, it’s small potatoes.
As for the mushrooms, I disagree with your assertion and wonder if you are familiar with the latest findings on mushrooms and neurogenesis, PTSD, depression, bipolar... I confirm what’s being found in direct experience. Psilocybin is now being used in clinical and therapy type settings, relative to numerous conditions. I am also curious about the yoga texts that talk about mushrooms in reference to the “master”. Please share? |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 05 2021 12:11:09 PM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 1:36:43 PM
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Hello Saktidas
Being dependent on any substance does not seem to be the real enlightenment experience. The process is to set you free not make you rely on chemical reactions that create short term effects.Noting that ultimately yoga is not about any experience.It is Being or knowing who you really are.There is no magic bullet that will bring instant enlightenment.Only the combination of silence and harmonious kundalini energy can bring freedom.
You can check lesson 307 and 323
https://www.aypsite.org/307.html
https://www.aypsite.org/323.html |
Edited by - maheswari on Jan 05 2021 1:39:55 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 1:44:55 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
Hello Saktidas
Being dependent on any substance does not seem to be the real enlightenment experience. The process is to set you free not make you rely on chemical reactions that create short term effects.Noting that ultimately yoga is not about any experience.It is Being or knowing who you really are.There is no magic bullet that will bring instant enlightenment.Only the combination of silence and harmonious kundalini energy can bring freedom.
You can check lesson 307 and 323
https://www.aypsite.org/307.html
https://www.aypsite.org/323.html
Hello, maheswari.
Thanks for the warm welcome. While I agree with you, I’ll clarify that I and my family are not dependent on mushrooms, and don’t view that to be a magic bullet to bring instant enlightenment. On the contrary, mushrooms have been an occasional therapeutic aid and catalyst for inspiration (just like in the lessons /\), the benefits of which could not be overstated. Thanks for your concern. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 05 2021 2:28:43 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 1:52:00 PM
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To clarify- I did not hallucinate my dear wife frozen in sleep paralysis. We’ve never had paralysis with mushrooms. The waking sleep paralysis is due to trauma and happens typically on a monthly basis, sometimes more frequently. This one little pixel overwhelms her like that at intervals. Kinda trippy, but no mushrooms involved.
This is not about proselytizing or suggesting AYP to people. If anyone can relate with a family member with an unintentional kundalini awakening, a family member who is processing samskaras at magnificent pace without pranayama and meditation, and without an established framework for it. If anyone can relate- I’d like to hear about it. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 05 2021 2:41:08 PM |
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lightandlove
Germany
85 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 2:45:41 PM
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Hi everyone,
Psychedelics like mushrooms are not at all necessary on the spiritual path as Yogani very well points out in the lessons.
Still it is true indeed that they exist and humans are drawn to them since a long time. In modern research (beginning already last century, but due to prohibition it was paused for a long time) it is scientifically found that they are an incredible effective tool for psychological therapy.
For anybody interested and looking for scientific work on that I suggest to read Stanislav Grof.
He himself started to continue his research by doing holotropic breathwork (which is like a form of long and intense Bhastrika), after psychedelics became unavailable for research.
It can be clearly seen in research data and experiences of many people that proper usage of psychedelics in a therapeutical setting results in re-experiencing traumata and blockades, similar as in intense spiritual practice.
So while pychedelics are definitely not advisable for anyone and no replacement for a good long-term practice routine, it can be a helpful aid for some in the right circumstances. May it be for therapeutic reasons or spiritual.
Here is the famous story of neem karoli baba and LSD:
https://www.ramdass.org/ram-dass-gi...gi-medicine/
"This is not the true samadhi. It’s better to become Christ than to visit him – but even the visit of a saint for a moment is useful. But love is the most powerful medicine.”
„Seeing the possibility is indeed different from being the possibility. Sooner or later you must purify and alter your mind, heart, and body so that the things which bring you down from your experiences lose their power over you.“
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Edited by - lightandlove on Jan 05 2021 3:24:00 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 5:01:15 PM
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| Please, friends consider this in the context of a user review of the AYP system. Beyond that, Imagine if 300 years ago, we had this interaction... and here’s me wandering on the path bearing the name of your sangha for years with my family. You hear a knock at the door and see me. “I’ve been using the tools you all left behind. And have been on the path we call AYP. Yes, I have some dirt on my shoulders, thanks for pointing that out. What would be rad, is a bath and some authentic interaction with you all. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve seen... the suffering is unfathomable. Please meet my dear wife. Please be careful with the impurity talk as it can come across superiority/inferiority and teacher/student complex or assumed arrangement. We didn’t sign up for the other role in that context. We’ve been walking a long time, and following much of the same framework as have you. We simply have been out of contact for while. Yes, we took a few trips through the mushroom patch. You weren’t there and didn’t have experience from this exact perspective. That was not an issue in any case. We have some bumps from the road and hoping to just chill with y’all for a while minus the admonitions and warnings... we read them. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 05 2021 5:42:18 PM |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 6:21:56 PM
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Hello Saktidas,
Please share to your heart’s content. We are here to listen.
Much Love,
Sunyata |
Edited by - sunyata on Jan 05 2021 7:37:31 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2021 : 10:43:46 PM
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quote:
Less ruminating, more Rumi.
I love this quote  |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2021 : 12:14:29 PM
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| Thank you, Sunyata & Dogboy. |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2021 : 9:34:48 PM
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| Most of my extended family is LDS. My mom and dad departed the family religion when they became adults. I grew up with an aversion to it due to social pressure to conform and join them in the celestial kingdom. I’ve immersed myself in and appreciate the worlds traditions and teachings. I’ve gained an appreciation for LDS and new connections are blossoming in my extended family. I recognize their desire to be with family for eternity. It’s not essentially much different to me than worlds and dimensions referenced in other texts. Love grows stronger in my family and we are recognizing each other, listening to each other and respecting each other’s point of view. Integrating perspectives through recognition, validation, and appreciation. There are aspects of me who are my cousins, and even when we couldn’t agree, we were still expressing aspects of each other. The essence of the emanation of every being who has affected my path is available to call upon and radiate their unique vibration. |
Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 06 2021 10:05:30 PM |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2021 : 12:12:50 AM
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When I was 6, the adults in my life began the story about me having ADHD. Society erroneously drugged me throughout my childhood. And they were not very good at understanding and naming conditions. I was an 80’s kid raised on Kool aid and rock music. A lot of energy as child and since, but no deficit of attention.
The first time I remember realizing that I get to choose my attitude, I had been in a sort of habitual depression for around a year. Then by grace I realized that I could will myself into a different way of being. Of course I had limited success with this going forward as I was in a kind of ‘rajas’ mode, didn’t know who I was, had little mental control or discipline. This was 20 years ago. Naturally it leads to samyama and exactly what is helpful to go deeper into it. When it seems like I have no control over my attitude, response, or voice, I become aware of that and inquire: Is that really true?
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Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 09 2021 03:06:55 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2021 : 07:02:59 AM
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quote:
When it seems like I have no control over my attitude, response, or voice, I become aware of that and inquire: Is that really true?
This is good practice. The ‘knowings’ that bubble up from the silence following the question have weight because (after twelve years) you have built the infrastructure with DM and Samyama. |
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Saktidas
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2021 : 12:03:37 PM
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Yeah, that was and is a huge gift. Thanks only to grace that it ever even occurred to me as a wild child and also the chain of events it lead to. Through sports and a few great coaches, I came to appreciate fundamentals. It’s the same with practices in my view.
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Edited by - Saktidas on Jan 09 2021 12:24:56 PM |
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