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 AYPsite.org Forum
 Kundalini Issues Not Related to the AYP System
 Negative emotions
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Eirene

10 Posts

Posted - Mar 26 2020 :  9:03:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
For the past couple of months I've been feeling a lot of negative emotions - anger, spite, jealousy, envy, irritation, arrogance directed at just about everyone around me.
I've never been like this before and I'm starting to feel like a really bad person for feeling this way, yet it's beyond my control. I don't act on them (most of the time), but I do feel tremendous guilt for having them in the first place. Are those emotions here to stay or will they clear out at one point? Is it normal to sink into all these negative emotions once your Kundalini awakens? Were they present all along, but simply buried deep within me? What should I do with them?
I am currently the kind of person I myself would never hang out with.

(My K awakening started about a year ago)

Dogboy

USA
1702 Posts

Posted - Mar 26 2020 :  9:24:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Welcome Eirene

Do you have a meditation practice, AYP or otherwise?

The symptoms you describe are usually from overdoing yoga practices, in that your system (body) is purifying at an accelerated rate. They can also be the byproduct of premature kundalini awakening, in which your neurobiology is not adequately prepared to handle the drama. In either respect, you should dial back your practices (if you do any) and ground yourself in your daily life and actions. This lesson will be of assistance to you. https://www.aypsite.org/69.html
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Eirene

10 Posts

Posted - Mar 27 2020 :  06:54:41 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Dogboy, thank you for the answer, I will check out the link. :)

I meditate daily for about 15-20 minutes, nothing too extreme, but I might have overdone it ever since the Coronavirus pandemic started as I spend a lot of time at home. :) I am still not sure whether I should consider my awakening premature or not, it was definitely not planned and it took a while before I realized what is happening, but I've learned (or am still learning) to deal with most of the symptoms. It's good to hear these emotions are just another symptom of purification and not a permanent state.
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1543 Posts

Posted - Mar 28 2020 :  05:18:54 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Eirene

These emotions come from being hurt in the past, or other people being hurt in the past. We all pick up all sorts of unpleasant stuff from the collective psyche. You are not acting on these emotions, so you are not hurting anyone. Let them be released - notice them and let go. They will dissolve in a while.

If you find there is less opportunity for grounding because you are spending more time at home, maybe adjusting your practice is a good idea. If/when you are feeling discomfort, then it's time to cut back.

There is an upside to this, i think, in that it may teach you compassion for other people who are struggling with negative emotions. I will quote Leonard Cohen ( I haven't done it for a while ):
"There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah"
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Eirene

10 Posts

Posted - Mar 28 2020 :  11:42:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat



There is an upside to this, i think, in that it may teach you compassion for other people who are struggling with negative emotions. I will quote Leonard Cohen ( I haven't done it for a while ):
"There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah"




Thank you for your answer, BlueRaincoat. :) The last paragraph really made me think. I did spend most of my life (subconsciously) suppresing all these emotions and finding them "unacceptable to feel".
It's very possible I've been as judgemental to others about it as I've been with myself and need to work on that too.

ps. I love both listening to Cohen and watching his interviews, his energy has a calming effect on me :)

Edited by - Eirene on Mar 28 2020 11:44:51 AM
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