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 Kundalini Issues Not Related to the AYP System
 How to completely surrender
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greendecker94

USA
5 Posts

Posted - Jun 19 2019 :  7:42:15 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
I am having difficulty completely surrendering in meditation. It seems no matter what practices/yoga poses I attempt to do, if I am not able to quiet my mind and surrender to everything, it is almost useless. How do you let go of your thoughts and drop expectations in meditation? How do you let go of trying to let go and let go of even that thought? And how do you accept that you are accepting your thoughts and accept even those thoughts? It seems like a never ending cycle.

I do have moments where I can surrender everything and be immersed in pure experience, but it is hard to sustain this experience because I begin to judge what is happening or worry about how I'm judging the experience. I try to be ok with even this happening but then meditation ends up feeling useless to me and like I'm wasting time doing nothing.

Is it possible that I should maybe completely forget about meditation? I find myself happier when I am actively doing something that feels purposeful, but at the same time I get racing thoughts all the time. I wish I could just be immersed in the moment without feeling like I am in a rush to do something

Dogboy

USA
1584 Posts

Posted - Jun 19 2019 :  8:26:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
How do you let go of trying to let go and let go of even that thought? And how do you accept that you are accepting your thoughts and accept even those thoughts


quote:
it is hard to sustain this experience because I begin to judge what is happening or worry about how I'm judging the experience. I try to be ok with even this happening but then meditation ends up feeling useless to me and like I'm wasting time doing nothing.


The AYP process is so simple it is deceiving: whenever you are off the mantra, you return to it, easily favor it over any passing thought, judgement, or worry about acceptance. In the beginning sessions you may spend the whole time noticing thoughts and letting them go, but like anything the practice refines, the thoughts become fewer. Notice when you are judging, let it pass and return to AYAM. ďOh no, Iím worrying about wasting my timeĒ, and let that go. Return to the mantra. That is all you have to do. You are not wasting time, thatís just your ego trying to wrestle away the wheel. Easily favoring the mantra, over time, will quiet the clamor inside your head, guaranteed; you just have to desire it and put in the (effortless) effort (paradox!!).

A side note: you can carry this practice over into your everyday life. When you are obsessing, judging, worrying, or caught up in distraction, take notice of it and change your response. Your dedicated meditation practice will no doubt help you with this as silence awakens within you.

You can do this.

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SeySorciere

Seychelles
1151 Posts

Posted - Jun 20 2019 :  02:23:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Greendecker,

Stop trying! Take the approach of doing your daily meditation like brushing your teeth, you just do it. Forget what it felt or didnít feel like; if you surrendered or not... just brush your teeth / do your meditation. It is never a waste of time. You seem to be harboring the idea that you have to surrender completely to gain some benefit - not true. Start with where youíre at... things will evolve and enfold. Yogani also points out that how you feel during practices is not a good measure of how effective it was but rather look to how your relationships and actions flow in daily life. That is a better measure.

Good luck with your practices
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