Da capo al fine: a back-to-basics practice journal

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Da capo al fine: a back-to-basics practice journal

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SeySorciere

Seychelles
1230 Posts

Posted - Jul 30 2019 : 01:20:42 AM

Jourdain, you are a delight !

Sey

Jourdain

USA
34 Posts

Posted - Jul 31 2019 : 02:08:04 AM

quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere

Jourdain, you are a delight !

Sey

It takes one to know one, Sey!

(Still can't find my bhakti bracket. Argh...)

Jourdain

USA
34 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2019 : 01:03:28 AM

Week 15
Changes: none
Current practice: 10 minutes deep meditation
Reading: https://www.aypsite.org/24.html

No missed sessions, though several late ones, in a week during which I traveled to my mother's house in the interior and returned with her to the coast. My mother and I have spent most of the summer together and are getting on one another's nerves. I feel a lack of clarity in my own life and a need for it. I don't know whether noticing these problems is a sign of growth--it could be. But I feel an intense frustration with myself--some of which, I know, I have projected onto my mother--and a determination to take effective control of my own life as opposed to drifting and letting others set the pace.

I should have mentioned earlier that I am doing meditation a little differently in the last two months or so. I posted around that time about a longstanding confusion I had had about what it meant to "lose the mantra" and what to do then. Further reading led me to Lesson 195, "Mantra, Thoughts, and Attention", which I'd forgotten, and which emphasizes placing attention on the mantra as the difference between meditating and not.

So now, instead of going back to repeating the mantra when I realize that I have stopped paying attention to it--with the attendant dilemma of whether to start the mantra over or not--I am learning to go back to repeating the mantra with attention when I realize that I have stopped paying attention to it. This resolves the dilemma, as, even if I've been repeating the mantra without attention, I can start paying attention to it again without starting it over.

I didn't think it would make much difference, but there has been a protracted "clunky phase" that suggests it's really a different practice. Which, in turn, suggests that I'm not really an experienced AYPer at all.

It also gives me further reason not to add any more practices until the "new" meditation is stabilized and working well.

Edited by - Jourdain on Aug 06 2019 11:54:50 AM

Dogboy

USA
1738 Posts

Posted - Aug 06 2019 : 3:59:59 PM

quote:
So now, instead of going back to repeating the mantra when I realize that I have stopped paying attention to it--with the attendant dilemma of whether to start the mantra over or not--I am learning to go back to repeating the mantra with attention when I realize that I have stopped paying attention to it. This resolves the dilemma, as, even if I've been repeating the mantra without attention, I can start paying attention to it again without starting it over.

I didn't think it would make much difference, but there has been a protracted "clunky phase" that suggests it's really a different practice. Which, in turn, suggests that I'm not really an experienced AYPer at all. It also gives me further reason not to add any more practices until the "new" meditation is stabilized and working well.

Experience or not, you are AYP.

You�re walking along, you drop your keys, you pick them up and keep walking. That is the attitude towards the mantra I take into my sitting.

Jourdain

USA
34 Posts

Posted - Aug 07 2019 : 11:03:24 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy

Experience or not, you are AYP.

Am I really

Well, then AYP is about to go on vacation.

I leave Friday morning for two weeks camping in the Southwest USA. It'll be interesting to see how well this all integrates.

quote:
Originally posted by DogboyYou�re walking along, you drop your keys, you pick them up and keep walking. That is the attitude towards the mantra I take into my sitting.

Nice!

lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Aug 08 2019 : 03:35:41 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Jourdain

quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy

Experience or not, you are AYP.

Am I really Well, then AYP is about to go on vacation. I leave Friday morning for two weeks camping in the Southwest USA. It'll be interesting to see how well this all integrates.

quote:
Originally posted by DogboyYou�re walking along, you drop your keys, you pick them up and keep walking. That is the attitude towards the mantra I take into my sitting.

Nice!