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 Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development
 Wet dreams and premature ejaculation
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brunomedeiros

Brazil
5 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  09:40:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Could someone please give a light in Leasson t12? English is not my main language and i couldn't understand very well what "immature erotic sensitivities" is, i'm suffering from both, wet dreams and pre E, and i think that's the main reason of my suffer. Does it mean im to childish and that's making me really aroused? What would u guys recommend me on doing? Im really lost, yesterday i were so happy about life, i was singing, laughing for nothing, enjoying so much watching the sky but i dreamed of watching porn this night and cummed, i waked up really miserable and all my happiness was gone. When im feeling good and awake, i think: "Well its just sex, life is much more than it, i cant sex and thats no problem, my espiritual path is more important than it." But i feel like its holding me back.
Really sorry for my english and hope u guys understand me, thanks for the attention.

Edited by - AYPforum on Jan 07 2018 11:04:33 AM

AYPforum

351 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  11:04:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement
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jusmail

India
491 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  11:05:44 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Welcome to the forum. Don't worry about wet dreams and such immediately. Read the lessons here and start the meditation practice. Eventualy, things will fall in place.
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1729 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  11:40:11 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Welcome to the AYP forum brunomedeiros

i second jusmail's advice.

Perhaps you can tell us a bit more about your spiritual path. What are your current practices?
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Dogboy

USA
1973 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  12:18:41 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
In lesson T12, when Yogani says "immature erotic sensitivities", the questioner (most likely young) is easily sexually excitable while awake or asleep, and has a problem holding back from 'the point of no return'. Through meditation, sexual experience/maturity, and intention, you can move beyond the problem. Do you meditate?

Edited by - Dogboy on Jan 07 2018 12:20:12 PM
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brunomedeiros

Brazil
5 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  4:01:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I'll tell u guys my story, im 21, when i was 16 i started a relationship that lasted 4,5 years. In the begining i didnt loved her and i could sex normally (this has nothing to do with me not loving her i think)but after a lot of porn and me cheating her i started to have premature ejaculation, nice, consequences of mistakes. 1 year after that we passed through a lot of troubles, no money and almost being homeless and she stayed with me, i started to love her and the guilty from the cheat took all over me, i was miserable and had to tell her, forgot to mention that meanwhile we got to know OSHO and i started to give value to espirituality, before that the only approach to it were reading Ozama Tezuka BUDA bibliography, i began to give value to the real things and were doing lot of pranayamas and some guided meditation. So i told her the truth and she at first was really mad and were leaving but after sometime she regreted and we stayed together, 1 month after im telling her, in one night (we were receiving money from the government, had no obligations, no worries and were really connected) we were talking about how intelligence has began in humans with a lot of empathy, the conversation continued to a lot of other things and we were reaaaaally excited about our discovers, we kept talking for almost 3 days without eat and sleep, we remembered lot of things from our childhood, i started to remember a lot of sadly situations and sadly people and i cried for them and felt their pain like it was me, we felt peace during 2 months and we tought at first it was enlightenment, then we had to look for jobs and the peace were going away.We couldn't find any job because of brazil economic crisis and we moved to her mothers house, there i got depressed, one time i read that when u are spiritually evolved and then lose it unhappiness is inevitable, well, i almost killed my self there asking me a lot why and how i lost that peace. She broke with me has been 6 months, i was really sad at first but 1 month after i was good, normal i think. I met another girl and we had sex, it was at our second date, i was really afraid of what could happen but everything went good i think because of the drink i had before, forgot to tell that i could sex normally during the "peace time" and after it was gone my premature ejaculation returned, well, the second time i had a drink too and at the third one was a sudden sex, i just did it and didnt even remembered that i had premature ejaculation and i could sex normally. It's been 4 months that i haven't sex and 2 months that im doing yoga and meditation,but when im happy and feeling good, i dream of having premature ejaculation and i dont know if it is right but i turn porn on just to see if im really with this problem and it confirms, 2 thursts and im at point of no return, i cant continue my practices because i feel like its worth nothing, i remember that OSHO and a lot of sites say that our vital force is first sexual, how can i continue my progress if every week i cum in my dreams? I cant cultivate this energy. When im meditating and everything im going to do i just keep thinking: "oh man, i cant even control my penis and my arousal, how could i evolve?".

I think my post is confuse, my english sucks, but i really hope you guys could just give a direction, something so childish is holding me, i were a really sexual person at my 16 till 18 when i started to love my ex-wife, since then i lost the habit to look at womans body when walking on the streets, i dont even feel the urge anymore to look, i just keep my eyes in the height of theirs, i try not to be sexual and be conscious when seeing something nasty on the tv or the internet but when i see something "hot" my penis twitches like the ones before ejaculation, not like im going to ejaculate but i know premature ejaculation is there and this is sufficient to make me really miserable. I never told those things to anyone, its the first time.

Thanks for the attention

Edited by - brunomedeiros on Jan 07 2018 7:55:13 PM
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brunomedeiros

Brazil
5 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  4:57:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Forgot to mention that i still dont know what happened in that night with my ex-gf, and trying to simplify things i feel when its been some days i dont have wet dreams, that i'm blessed, i'm pure and when it happens i feel like im dirty and i ask myself: "it's so low, why is it happening with me? I just want love and being good." looks like those wet dreams remember me my problem and bring me down. I dont know if it matter too but im vegan has been 2 years.

Edited by - brunomedeiros on Jan 07 2018 7:55:50 PM
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adishivayogi

USA
197 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  5:09:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
do your spinal breathing and your meditation things will work themselves out if you've chosen to utilize tantric practices
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Dogboy

USA
1973 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2018 :  9:05:01 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Again, Bruno, what is your meditation practice? How long, how often do you meditate? This will help us advise you.

A dedicated meditation practice will purify your neurobiology and will bring forth many emotions, situations, and fears you have suppressed, not to mention past karma. You may have to "dwell in the mud" before you can get clean; this most likely will not be a problem with a quick fix.
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brunomedeiros

Brazil
5 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2018 :  05:58:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy

Again, Bruno, what is your meditation practice? How long, how often do you meditate? This will help us advise you.



I'm sorry for the long answer Dogboy, i live in a ranch with some forest around, i go there, sit in a tree and try just to be, hearing the sounds, being in the moment, i do not follow any method and i do not keep an assiduous practice because of the reason i told you, everytime im feeling pure and great, in love with the earth, i dream with something nasty and ejaculate, i do not know if im making this with me, but, in those mornings, waking ejaculating makes me feel really miserable, like all my energy is gone, maybe it just happens because i read that semen has energy in it, like protein and of course spiritual energy, then i stay in a mood where i do not want to get out of bed, i feel like everything im doing has no meaning as im not evolving, as i still feel something so low. Then i stop the practices and only back when im feeling good again, i kinda accept after sometime my problem with premature ejaculation, like yesterday, i waked up really miserable but at the end of the day i was feeling fine.

quote:
Originally posted by adishivayogi

do your spinal breathing and your meditation things will work themselves out if you've chosen to utilize tantric practices



I didnt choose any method yet, im new to this site, i started to read things yesterday, right now i just want to get rid of this problem, i mean, if it's really a problem, maybe im just overreacting, but the unhapiness are real, i feel really dirty after those dreams and like i said its like all my efforts has no meaning since cultivating sperm means cultivating energy right? And the fact i have premature ejaculation comes like a bomb in those mornings after the dream.

Edited by - brunomedeiros on Jan 08 2018 06:26:04 AM
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1729 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2018 :  06:47:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Great that you have started reading the lessons Bruno!

You are giving rather more significance to the ejaculations than they deserve. The important thing is that you establish your daily meditation practice and stick to it. Meditation is for developing Inner Silence, or the Witness, as it is called in some traditions. It does not matter that you had an energy loss. Your meditations will be be just as effective at developing the inner silence. Over months and years, as you become established in silence, you will be in a better position to manage the energy.

It has to be in this order: develop the inner silence first, through a stable meditation practice. The rest will come. In the meantime, go a little easy on yourself. A few ejaculations are no big deal. Advanced yogis can go through stages where the energy becomes difficult to manage. They just work through it. Losing some semen is not the end of the world.

You are in the right place.The AYP lessons will teach you a very effective yoga method. If you have the dedication to build up your practice, a year from now you could be in a very different place.

Let us know how you get on with the lessons. Of course you can ask any questions about the practice here.
Good luck!

Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Jan 08 2018 06:48:43 AM
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random_22026

United Kingdom
2 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2018 :  08:01:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I've been through a similar situation and have only recently (last month) found a solution which involves 'dwelling in the mud', as Dogboy puts it. I've found this problem to be spiritual, mental and physical; so there're quite a few things that need to be done to get around it. Spiritually you can stick to the AYP method of meditation so that energy may begin to move up. the mental and physical problems are mostly tied together; in my case it related to how my brain handles erotic stimuli. A few things happen when looking at anything erotic including: loss of awareness, shallow breathing or holding in ones breath, the tensing up of muscles throughout the body, the main culprits are in the abdomen, the pubococcygeus (rear part of pelvic floor) and the bulbocavernosus (front part of pelvic floor, wraps around the inner penis). The pelvic floor in particular not only tightens but contracts a few times, which is what causes that twitching, which brings you closer to ejaculation because that's what happens during ejaculation: the pelvic floor contracts rhythmically. The abdominal muscles prevent relaxed breathing and, in my case, they also trap energy along the top of the penis, and the nerves in my penis seem to be pretty weak.

The solution that I've found is kinda similar to "exposure and response prevention" therapy used in treating OCD, we're trying to retrain the brains automatic response. During the day, usually before afternoon meditation as that helps to clear my mind after this, I'll intentionally expose myself to erotic material for about 5 to 10 minutes (do what feels right). In that time I: Don't masturbate (don't even touch it), prevent tunnel visioning on whatever is in-front of me (intent is important, remind yourself why you are doing this every so often), breath deep and consciously and I relax my abdomen (when I do this I can feel energy leaving along the top of the penis and then goes either to the pelvic floor or the nerve cluster located slightly above the groin). The pelvic floor has been the hardest one for me, but that's because I got the method one for about 2 weeks :/. whenever you feel the pelvic floor tighten up or about to
contract you pull a "reverse kegel", this is the same muscle movement used when pushing out urine quickly (front reverse kegel) or pushing out a fart (rear reverse kegel). The movement is much more subtle than a contraction for the front end, it helps to practice both front and rear reverse kegels a few times before starting this (also helps to empty your bladder and bowls). In my case I need to do front and rear reverse kegels, though this may not apply to you. Part of this process is about getting to know your body as it is right now. For example I found the nerves within my penis to be very weak, they can't handle a lot of energy plus if too much pools in one spot it'll kegel XD. To solve that I needed to get some energy in there and then imagine tubes out of the penis for the energy to take (it helps to picture the nerves, such as the main dorsal nerve or the frenulum) and then move that energy out of the penis. Imagine the tubes widening as the energy moves through it so they can take a greater amount of energy than before, you may also need to pull a reverse kegel as energy passes through really sensitive spots (such as the frenulum in my case), it can also help to imagine the tubes in the really sensitive areas expanding greater than the other tubes. I move this energy to perineum and when I feel there's too much there I'll stop what I'm doing, perform one or two spinal breathes to balance things out, and then continue with this until the time is up. The material you use is up to you, I personally prefer written stuff initially as it's easier to work with, less intense, you can graduate to visual stimuli (you deal with it in dream, no point trying to avoid it while awake) when you feel ready, take it slow and be open to those around you about what you're doing, maybe they can help.

Is that it's important to be honest with yourself during this, don't try to suppress any feelings as that won't help and if it starts feeling too intense, like you've lost control of your breathing or the pelvic floor just pause, close your eyes and wait for everything to settle down. I like to take a moment to thank God for the gift of sexuality, this helps me to accept it rather than suppress it.. Also don't get frustrated with yourself, it can be really hard to get the right muscles to start relaxing properly (I find thinking of this as a game helps, not taking it too seriously ). Practicing the muscle movements outside of this practice helps to reinforce this behavior. This is especially apparent when peeing. For example until I started doing this, I'd kegel once I was done peeing. Now I try to hold a light reverse kegel (front and rear) when done until the urge to kegel fades and the muscles relax, eventually you reach a point where that urge to kegel disappears, it's still good to keep holding that light reverse kegel for a while to really cement this new way of doing things.

As far as purely physical sensations go, such as auto kegeling when rubbing the penis you can try two things. One is to find those sensitive spots (not while looking at erotic material, remember you want to disconnect the link between arousal and masturbation) and then gently rub each one for a few minutes, slow enough that you don't kegel (if you feel the urge to kegel, reverse kegel and slow down a bit) and taking breaks to move the energy out of there. Over the course of weeks or months gradually try to speed up the rate at which you rub those spots or apply slightly more pressure, like doing a more intense exercise after your body adjusts to one routine. Always remember to keep relaxed and breath deep and consciously, set yourself a fixed time so that you don't keep going indefinitely. I'd only recommend starting this a few weeks after the other stuff to give yourself a break from masturbation, sex is ok just try to avoid ejaculation. If you do come to a point where ejaculation is inevitable you can try

Doing this has helped me become more relaxed in general, help me last longer (though I prefer celibacy so..yeah XD) and create and odd immunity to wet dreams. I still have them occasionally but now when I ejauclate in dream, I don't have one in awake/reality. The frequency of wet dreams has gone down and the rate of nocturnal emissions have gone from around every 2 days to about a week or slightly more than a week, though I don't feel particularly drained now, maybe I'm just at my limit for now and need more to time to open myself up

Good luck to you and anyone else who tries this, if you have any questions feel free to ask
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brunomedeiros

Brazil
5 Posts

Posted - Jan 09 2018 :  08:01:50 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hey Random22026, really thanks for your sharing, i never in many websites and forums read anything near what i am feeling, that's the first time, everything you described i feel. But, because of my bad english i didn't got somethings, i would prefer talking to you with skype but as others may have this problem too i'll not suggest it. First, i tried to search but couldn't find anything, what "dwelling in the mud" means? It's an expression? About kegels and reverse kegels, im familiar with them, today, and it has happened before yesterday and today, i wake up around 7 am then i go back to sleep, in this second sleep in both days i have an erotic dream, before yesterday i cummed but yesterday before sleep i tought, i'll not let the cum out, just like i did other times some months ago where i had a more solid mood, so, when i realized that i was going to cum this morning i hold a strong kegel and prevented it, i already urinated in a bowl and it wasn't retrograde ejaculation. I feel that it is happening more often because i really feel my dick head weak just like you mentioned.

I didn't got very well this part "prevent tunnel visioning on whatever is in-front of me (intent is important, remind yourself why you are doing this every so often)" what is tunnel visioning? And what is this method one that you've mentioned here "but that's because I got the method one for about 2 weeks :/"?

This part "In my case I need to do front and rear reverse kegels, though this may not apply to you." Why do you think i wouldn't need it? And you mean doing front and rear reverse kegel separately? It's hard to do, there was a time i could do it but with time i lost the activity in these muscles, i'll start doing those exercises again. And about this last phrase i quoted too, this reverse kegel is to be used at the exposure to erotic stimulation moment?

"To solve that I needed to get some energy in there and then imagine tubes out of the penis for the energy to take (it helps to picture the nerves, such as the main dorsal nerve or the frenulum) and then move that energy out of the penis." These tubes, the outlet of them is inside of me right? To the perineum? I think that's it but i just want to have sure.

About the reverse kegel while peeing, i did this at a time and really helped, not sure why i stopped, unconsciousness i think. And the rub sensitives parts without kegeling, doing it slow, i have done already and helped a lot too, now that u are putting it in words i remember, i mean, i have already been worse then i am now or just like it and i really improve with those techniques, but it came back i think because i stopped doing them and because of a day i masturbated to porn (just a note here: i can masturbate normally and last the time i want with no stimulation, when i turn something erotic on or just imagine i cum in 4~5 strokes) just to see how things were and cummmed, i got mad and did lots of orgasm one after another, with intervals of 5 seconds or less holding a super kegel. I know it's madness but i was really lost and was like whatever, i'll just kill myself after this anyway, i know, it's ridiculous and weak but i promised myself to never do it again as it really weakens my penis/sexuality.

"I'd only recommend starting this a few weeks after the other stuff to give yourself a break from masturbation" By other stuff you mean the energy visualizations while exposed to erotic material(kegels, reverse kegels, breathing)? So i need to do them first, master it and then move to the rubbing part? Or i should do it all together? And you mentioned masturbation in this last quote, i read all what you wrote and there isn't any masturbation recommendation, do you mean the normal masturbation? If it is so, i don't masturbate, should i start with the intention of no cumming? And about sex, do you have premature ejaculation? Because i don't know if i could sex right now, i mean, i think i would cum really quickly, if i have the opportunity to sex what do you think of getting some drink before? I can last the time i want with really low quantity of alcohol.

" If you do come to a point where ejaculation is inevitable you can try " i guess you were going to say something there, if so, i really want to know what it is.

One thing more, do you feel miserable when have this nocturnal emissions? Do you feel bad when you wake up and see what happened? For how much time are you doing these techniques? I'll begin on doing everything again and add this energy visualization to the routine. I don't care about sex either the only problem was that i can't cultivate energy and couldn't keep an established mood. And do you think it is normal to have 1 nocturnal emission per week? Isn't the "right" to never have it? Do you still feel the weakness in the top of your penis? With me, after sometime of work it goes away. And isn't erotic dreams associated with inhibiting sexual desires during the day? After all these questions i feel bad but at the same time happy because i'm not alone and have someone to discuss, really thank you for your attention and your time writing all these things, i hope that i discover lot of things in my path to help you too.

Thank you very much and sorry if my post is complicated, not my intention.

Edited by - brunomedeiros on Jan 09 2018 09:35:09 AM
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random_22026

United Kingdom
2 Posts

Posted - Jan 09 2018 :  8:27:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hello again, sorry for the late reply. Yeah I seem to have posted and missed a few things XD.

In response to some of your questions: If I have nocturnal emissions very frequently then I'll feel rather depressed, it's a hollow sort of feeling, I feel especially empty in my limbs and my focus degrades. I cheer myself up by reminding myself that it's only a temporary feeling as the energy will come back.

For me sexual dreams can be a case of sexual inhibition or sexual over indulgence, with healthy expression of that energy, being it through sexual or creative means, I sleep fine. In my opinion the "normal" frequency of ejaculation varies from person to person and there isn't a universal "right" answer either. Trying to think in terms of right and wrong doesn't really help with this situation in my experience. It's better to accept how you are now while also working toward a more long term goal.

Yeah sorry for all the confusion, seems my dyslexia got the better of me XD. When i said "method one" I meant "method wrong" (sorry!). I thought I had the muscle movement correct but I was wrong, once I corrected it things started going along much smoother. Also regarding "tunnel vision", that is a term in english, here's the meaning: "the tendency to focus exclusively on a single or limited objective or view". When engaged in sexual activity the mind has a tendency to narrow its focus to sexual stimulus. As you get closer to ejaculation this focus narrows down further (aswell as sexual thoughts becoming stronger, mental arousal). Part of the reason conscious breathing helps, on top of relaxing your body, is that it helps to take your focus off of sexual stimulus. By keeping yourself aware you can react and prevent over arousal rather than getting lost in such feelings.

Sorry I can't answer everything as it's late. If you have more questions then it'll be probably easier to speak via skype or discord if you have those, my user name is the same here as it is there: random_22026.Again sorry for the confusion caused by my previous post
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