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microcosm
102 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 27 2015 : 01:27:31 AM
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Yesterday I had an AP (arising & passing away) event. During that meditation noting was effortless, it seemed like I can scan my body and think thoughts in parallel. At some point I lost sense of my arms - parts from elbows to hands just weren't there, I couldn't detect any sensation originating from there. Quickly after, I felt my body vibrating, but didn't focus on it - I had an impression I'm going to explode if I do 
Later that day I felt intense tingling/burning sensations in my spine, chest, and third eye - chakras started to activate.
Since that event (crossing AP) noting became easy. I feel like I'm meditating most of the time, just with varying intensity.
Today something in the tip of my nose activated (I focus on that point during my sits). It feels like an ant gently (but quickly) digging a hole in there - it's a subtle and plesant vibration. It's always there, so it easy to use it as an object of concentration.
I started to concenrate on it while lying in bed before sleep and quickly got concentrated. Energy flows on the skin of my head turned from a solid sensation to a subtle and pleasant vibration. I think they will turn into 'bliss' traveling through body, like some users report on this site.
I woke up early and while not fully awake I started to meditate again. After some time, while not particularly concentrated I heard a "blip" (like from your PC speaker, signalling an error). There was a sense of discontinuity to it, like when you incorrectly glue two halfs of a circle together, or put some space between them. Immediately I was awake and thinking: 'this can't be nibbana, because I'm in AP'. Probably some kind of AP phenomena, but still interesting
I'm excited about this progress and I'm thinking about increasing duration of my sits to 1hr each. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2015 : 03:32:16 AM
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hello microcosm
lots of things going on it seems :-)
are you practicing AYP? if so, we do not increase the duration of sits.
if you are not practicing AYP, make sure you are grounding enough and back of when overload starts to appear
practice wisely and all the best :-)
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Edited by - maheswari on Sep 27 2015 03:33:18 AM |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2015 : 1:05:56 PM
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| I'm practicing AYP: DM & spinal breathing. I'm thinking about adding new elements to my practice, but I'm unsure what to pick. Witness is well established, but no sign of ecstatic conductivity. |
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alecpeace
USA
95 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2015 : 5:26:26 PM
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| Sounds like you're describing Vipassana, not AYP. |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2015 : 03:12:08 AM
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@alecpeace:
I'm not using a mantra in meditation, but noting, so yes - it's vipassana+spinal breathing. I used "DM" as an abstract meaning of "meditation". |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2015 : 03:40:53 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2015 : 08:54:55 AM
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| Maybe you could add mulabanda/aswini. Or you can try siddhasana. These will take your vehicle to the next gear. |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2015 : 9:12:59 PM
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Very cool microcosm!! 
All I can do is share what I would do.
Add samyama.
You are reaching samadhi and realizing all things as energy.
Learning to let go into silence is a powerful practice. Give samyama a shot
All the best,
Tom |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Oct 04 2015 : 1:32:03 PM
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Thanks for advice jusmail and jonesboy. I will try out your recommendations when I feel energy in my body is stable. Now I feel it just on some days. I'm trying to figure out what rises my energy. Best guess is food.
Quality of the witness varies day by day, which frustrates me. I can't stabilize it, no matter what I do. I tried to replicate what I did on the AP day, but that didn't work. Are these fluctuactions normal? What's the recommended diet at this point? |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2015 : 11:07:57 AM
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Today in my sit I experienced a very pleasant state. Mind generated a happy thought that quickly led to tears of joy streaming over my face. I noted it and then noticed I prefer to be in a witness state, than to experience being wrapped in a joyful emotion. Before, I prefered neutral mind over unpleasant states (anger, sadness), now the idea that anything (pleasant or unpleasant) can take over me without my permission is unsatifying. It's not about the state per se, but lack of decision on my part that I don't like.
I also noticed my awareness has a new quality. Instead of observing objects, I can also observe my awareness observing them, like a busy bee, qucikly flying from one flower to another. |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2015 : 05:40:15 AM
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With some help from a chemical, I arrived at the 'base of mind' or the SOURCE. My concentration was unlinke anything I ever experienced. I was seeing my awareness as an object, then the act of observing as an object and this loop was tightening faster and faster. At some point I transcended and saw the Source of all things and became one with the universe. I saw every material object, whole existence as the tiniest particle of the tiniest fiber of the tiniest cell of the Source. This painting is a 'close' representation of how the Source looked like:
http://alexgrey.com/art/paintings/soul/yogi-mobius-sphere/
In this high frequency state I knew my lower frequency self would not remember much of the experience, so I left some notes for reading later. Bascially that I'm on the right track and should work on rising my vibration.
I now understand metaphors used in the Bible and in some movies. World looks completely different now. |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2015 : 07:44:52 AM
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I'm having flashbacks of memories from my childhood, like the fact I was drawn to crystals, that I felt 'lighter' after my first confession (I was raised in a catholic family), my aversion towards owning things or taking care of wordly matters, sitting in silence for long periods of time and fantasizing - now I understand it was a high concentration state.
I feel like the Infinite (God, Source) is speaking to me with these memories to show me the path I need to walk.
This brings me to a saddening observation. I wasn't asked to be created (I remember this position I took when being a child, it strongly resonates with me now too). What's the point of me existing, meditating or helping others if I'm just tiny particle in the Infinite's mind? In general: what's the point? It's difficult for me to feel compassion for others when there's this lingering sense that it's all just an experiment, simulation or a game. |
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Dogboy
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2015 : 11:55:10 AM
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quote:
I feel like the Infinite (God, Source) is speaking to me with these memories to show me the path I need to walk.
This brings me to a saddening observation. I wasn't asked to be created (I remember this position I took when being a child, it strongly resonates with me now too). What's the point of me existing, meditating or helping others if I'm just tiny particle in the Infinite's mind? In general: what's the point? It's difficult for me to feel compassion for others when there's this lingering sense that it's all just an experiment, simulation or a game.
No one is asked. This grand experiment, and your role in it isn't about the asking, it's about the being. You are a cell of the greater organism, and how you carry on affects your neighboring cells and the organism as a whole. It makes a tremendous difference if you are healthy or cancerous. Compassion is there, you just need to surrender the angst of being separate from your fellow cells, for truly you are in them, and they are in you. And if it is just a game, better to get in on every play rather than park yourself on the bench to stew. |
Edited by - Dogboy on Oct 31 2015 11:58:02 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2015 : 12:16:50 PM
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Not of my business I know, but maybe it is best for you not to use chemicals. Let purification happen more naturally by practice.....Sometimes it can help to write the flashbacks or observations ,so you can let them go more easy....
Strenght , Wisdom, Inner Sensuality,
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2015 : 2:49:36 PM
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Today I felt compelled, almost forced to leave my house to take a walk at a specific moment. As I was returning, I wondered what was the point of that urge. Precisely then I looked at a stranger passing by. He smiled.
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2015 : 6:16:43 PM
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Hi microcosm! Years ago I heard a great saint say that none of us asked to be created and the reason we were is so there could be love.
Kind of makes sense to me that Spirit can't love itself. At least not in the way that it does as it dramatically pulls us back to itself with love while at the same time repulsing us and creation out of Itself.
What a mature realization for you to have as a kid.
Take care! |
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technoyogi
Canada
158 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2015 : 3:40:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by microcosm
With some help from a chemical, I arrived at the 'base of mind' or the SOURCE. My concentration was unlinke anything I ever experienced. I was seeing my awareness as an object, then the act of observing as an object and this loop was tightening faster and faster. At some point I transcended and saw the Source of all things and became one with the universe. I saw every material object, whole existence as the tiniest particle of the tiniest fiber of the tiniest cell of the Source. This painting is a 'close' representation of how the Source looked like:
http://alexgrey.com/art/paintings/soul/yogi-mobius-sphere/
In this high frequency state I knew my lower frequency self would not remember much of the experience, so I left some notes for reading later. Bascially that I'm on the right track and should work on rising my vibration.
I now understand metaphors used in the Bible and in some movies. World looks completely different now.
Very interesting, is this a chemical that you can hint at? Was it one that might be found in ayahuasca? Or one found in a fungus? Or something else?
I think that ultimately our bodies are making all of these compounds anyway in meditation but sounds like you decided to give yourself a boost, and I am always interested to know how people mix the two ways of getting to source.
Longer term, yoga is the stable way that lasts, but in the meantime getting a rocket boost to see the end goal may not be bad, it has certainly been the motivation for many on the path... |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2015 : 02:43:19 AM
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BilliL.A.,
as a kid I treated my body as a vehicle for my mind (which resulted in not caring about the body, which negatively affected my mind, since these two influence each other in a loop), disliked authority, felt drawn do crystals, etc. I interpret this as being an old soul.
technoyogi,
It might be beneficial to use chemicals as tools but it also may lead to psychotic breakdowns (I almost had one), so I won't advertise their use. Self-pacing applies to substance use too, so if anyone wants to try I recommend doing it very carefully, so there's a chance to adapt.
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2015 : 04:15:10 AM
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After a 10day Goenka (vipassana) retreat I feel like my body is breathing through pores of my skin in various places: parts of palms, soles of the feet and crown chakra if I concentrate on it.
Does anyone know how can I expand this feeling of breathing to cover my whole body? |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2015 : 04:08:45 AM
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| I've attained stream entry. I see fog all around me. I feel confused and mildly scared. I'm unsure how to proceed. Any advice will be greatly appreciated, esp. regarding which practices to perform. |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2015 : 09:49:58 AM
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| Talk to your Buddhist teachers. If they have opened the eye of Dharma they will know. |
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Omsat
Belgium
267 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2015 : 1:30:33 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by microcosm
After a 10day Goenka (vipassana) retreat I feel like my body is breathing through pores of my skin in various places: parts of palms, soles of the feet and crown chakra if I concentrate on it.
Does anyone know how can I expand this feeling of breathing to cover my whole body?
Hi microcosm,
I felt you're into this practice from your first post already.
I'm familiar with it, as I did several retreats few years ago.
You could try to spend less time on the crown and more on the other areas. Staying longer at feet and palms makes you release excess energy. It's particularly helpful if you absorb negativity.
In general, evenly spread the attention, as instructed. Just with the crown, I'd advise to be there only briefly or to get out and see smiling people more in combo
As you keep sweeping, naturally the flow will be felt throughout.
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Edited by - Omsat on Dec 18 2015 2:41:27 PM |
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Omsat
Belgium
267 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2015 : 1:34:26 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by microcosm
I've attained stream entry. I see fog all around me. I feel confused and mildly scared. I'm unsure how to proceed. Any advice will be greatly appreciated, esp. regarding which practices to perform.
Sounds like it's time to ground your energies.
Barefoot walking, eat more, develop loving relationships, bring what you learnt into the physical realm.
Note the teachers of the practice are naturally pretty grounded people, so it works well for them. For lighter constitutions, it can quickly become too floaty.
If you want to stick with this particular practice, spend more time at the legs, feet, hands, less time in the spine, and don't go in the head.
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2015 : 11:08:42 AM
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Thank you very much So-Hi and Omsat, I will follow your advice
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Omsat
Belgium
267 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2015 : 5:05:45 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by microcosm
Thank you very much So-Hi and Omsat, I will follow your advice
It's a pleasure
One more thing: The speed with which you sweep effects how easily you feel the flow throughout and how easily you overdo the practice.
At this point, while you're assimilating and grounding your experiences, a slower body scan is advisable. Once you're stable, well into the witness mode and feeling the subtle sensations throughout you can speed the sweeping a little and see how that goes.
It's very important to be in the equanimity, grounded witnessing while sweeping because the sweeping stimulates the energy. If it's coupled with silent abiding, it will be pleasant and subtle. If the calm witness is missing, it can easily throw you into kundalini challenges. Hence, the advice: Just observe, just observe 
It's the same as ayp.. In ayp, the observing part is called inner silence and witness. In vipassana it's the practical emphasis on observing equanimously. The energy component is taken care by all kinds of yogic practices such as spinal breathing in ayp, while the sweeping takes care of it in vipassana as per Goenka.
Diligently, persistently.. Also gradually and wisely 
The latter, is called self-pacing here at ayp and quite essential on a long term spiritual path. Hope the little tricks described above and in previous post give you the hang of self pacing with the vipassana method. Some of it I found by myself while practicing, some (like the hands and feet focus to release negativity) I learnt from a kind teacher while serving a course.
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Edited by - Omsat on Dec 19 2015 5:14:27 PM |
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microcosm
102 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2016 : 03:13:01 AM
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| Today in meditation I felt a short piece of a tiny thread originating from perineum. It disappeared by the end of my sit. It wasn't ecstatic, more like electric feeling. After I went to bed I noticed a tinnitus I could control with my mind. I played with it for a while until its pitch became unpleasant, like a drill in my brain - I stopped manipulating it then. Finally, I went into a lucid dream and experienced a wave of ecstatic energy moving from my perineum, via groin to my stomach. It was very pleasant. These energetic phenomena have an uplifting effect on me - I see them as progress in and effect of my practices |
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