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Vicki
Ireland
20 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 12 2006 : 07:38:05 AM
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Hi,
I am getting interested in how to retain my energy during sex. It seems a lot has been written on this in regards to the male, especially concerning withholding orgasm, but what about the female? I know that it is said that there is less pranic drain from a female orgasm but I would like to know how to retain the energy and move it upwards which is unclear to me.... What role does kechari play in this, and does visualisation of the energy moving upwards help? I would appreciate any comments/advice on this.
Om Shanti! |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2006 : 08:19:53 AM
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Hi Vicki,
I can tell you what I have been doing, but it may not be right.. I have not read up the tantra lessons... Let me know if you would still be interested...
Maybe Yogani or others who know about the tantra stuff can help you better.. so lets just wait and see. Don't want to give you wrong info..
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Edited by - Shanti on Jun 12 2006 08:21:55 AM |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2006 : 09:24:37 AM
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Vicki,
All of the practices here gradually change your body so that the energy moves upward effortlessly. By following the instructions, you'll achieve that. But I'm curious...what's your motivation for moving it upward?
Kechari, in my limited experience, seems to help clear the passageway in the upper torso, neck and head. It makes the energies seem more balanced. I'm only at pre-stage 2 though....so don't listen to me.
Visualizing the energy moving upwards is kind of like the spinal breathing exercise, where you focus your attention going up and down the spinal nerve with the breath (in and up, out and down). Spinal breathing gradually clears the pathway so that your natural flow of energy goes up. Visualizing, or feeling, the energies moving up in your spine during sex seems to work temporarily...but in my opinion it's trying too hard. When you're having sex, why not just enjoy it instead of focusing on moving energy? I find it much more enjoyable to allow the energy to flow upwards, rather than force it. Then I know the practices are actually working, and not just something I'm making happen that isn't real.
-Scott |
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yogani
USA
5195 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2006 : 12:45:13 PM
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Hi Vicki:
The essence of tantric sex is simply relaxing in pre-orgasmic stimulation. This is the fundamental principle involved. It applies in relations with a partner, masturbation, and in structured sitting yoga practices -- the full range of them, beginning with deep meditation, spinal breathing, asanas, and expanding eventually into mudras, bandhas, kumbhaka, etc. In terms of effectiveness, tantric sexual methods fall into the latter category, after the global techniques of deep meditation and spinal breathing have been well-established. Before that, mudras, bandhas and tantric sex may be premature, which is not to say we should not learn them if so inclined. There are many doors leading in ... we just need to keep in mind that there is a certain natural sequencing in all of this that can yield optimal results.
As Scott mentions, yoga practices play a key role in opening up the nervous system to natural flows of energy in the body, which find their root in the sexual neurobiology. It is a matter of cultivating abiding inner silence, and then the rise of ecstatic conductivity. When these are occurring it then becomes obvious that there is an instantaneous ecstatic connection between head and root. That is when all of the mudras and bandhas, and tantric sex, are acting together in all parts of the body at the same time -- that is ecstatic conductivity riding on an undulating sea of silence. And then it all flows out into the world as divine love.
There is no one thing that will accomplish the "rise" of sexual energy all by itself. It takes a combination of methods. This is the truth of yoga and the enlightenment process. The "magic bullet" is many bullets. 
The new AYP Tantra book covers this in more detail for both sexes. Fittingly, it is called: "Tantra - Discovering the Power of Pre-Orgasmic Sex."
The dedication page includes a quote from the 4,000 year old Vigyan Bhairava scripture:
“At the start of sexual union, keep attention on the fire in the beginning, and, so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.”
Though this knowledge has been around for a very long time, it has been difficult for humanity to grasp it. The reasons for this are covered in the book. It has to do with the evolution and maturation of our species, which is directly related to our over all spiritual progress. Maybe now is the time for us to collectively take the leap to the next level ... let's make it so.
Wishing you all the best!
The guru is in you.
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2006 : 3:37:18 PM
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I would like to share my feelings about this from the perspective of my experience as a male. While a woman does not generally become as drained as a man from orgasm there is an energy shift that happens and this effects her partner as well as herself. What Yogani has said is very good and perhaps my different use of words may help help clarify further.
What often happens as a person male /female/couple approaches orgasm is that a tension often begins to occur. A contraction of energy, perhaps a frantic feeling. this is the point where the nervous system feels at its capacity to hold energy and that contraction is the prelude to the autonomic reaction of orgasm. In tantra this contraction not only signals the beginning of female orgasm but also pulls the male in the same direction. this neeeds to be watched for. This is the point to breath, connect with your partner, slow down, reconnect conciously. This is the point that powerful energies are often felt. To relax into these energies and breathe and find the silence together and be connected in rythm with your partner is the jumping off point. From there you can play and enjoy and when that frantic feeling comes up again you slow down, breathe and reconnect again. This is how I would suggest learning tantra. The specific upward movements and bandhas etc are learned in sitting practice and become natural with time.I wouldn't focus too much on them sexually for awhile, just feel for that contraction and breath and open to each other. This advice goes for males or females as it is really about connection through your partner to a state of letting go of the individual feeling of seperation |
Edited by - Victor on Jun 12 2006 3:39:22 PM |
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Vicki
Ireland
20 Posts |
Posted - Jun 13 2006 : 05:50:12 AM
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Thanks for your replies. The reason I inquired was because it had been suggested by my physical guru that I try to limit my sexual relations with my husband, as this could be problematic to my practises due to the energy loss/effects on the brain. He also suggested eating almonds and honey every morning to combat this. I didn't have the chance to find out more about it. If anyone has any thoughts I would be delighted to hear them. This provided me with a conflict as my husband is not interested in meditation/spiritual path and although tolerates it, if he thought it interfered with our sex life he would object, however he is open to trying tantric methods. My spiritual progress is most important to me so I was wondering how to combine these two aspects.
Om Shanti |
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yogani
USA
5195 Posts |
Posted - Jun 13 2006 : 09:17:46 AM
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Hi Vicki:
Sounds like introducing your husband to sound tantric methods could be win-win all the way around. Your guru may not like it, but is your relationship with your husband really his business?
In fairness to your guru, he is pointing you rightly in the direction of preservation of your lifeforce. He just has not provided you with the alternatives for accomplishing that, some of which are compatible with marriage and an active sex life. Maybe he does not know. It is entirely possible. In not knowing the alternatives, spiritual teachers tend to offer their personal lifestyle as the preferable lifestyle for everyone, which is a mistake. There are many ways to skin the cat of enlightenment. The effective variations of tantric method -- whether conjugal, solo, or celibate -- illustrate the point. As long as the essential elements of preservation and cultivation of the ecstatic lifeforce are present, it is good management of sexual energy. This can be accomplished within any chosen lifestyle by dedicated practitioners.
The guru is in you.
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 13 2006 : 6:15:20 PM
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You tell him Yogani  . Yes, it was disturbing to hear what your guru has said about sex with your husband. But then, it may not be as bad as it sounds.. sometimes gurus have a way of being cryptic.. not sure why, but they give you a little bit of info and expect you to figure out what it means. Maybe all he did mean was to be mindful of the energy when you do have sex. The best way to do it is to hold back. This way you can prolong the pleasure and yet make it meaningful spiritually.
This is hard for me to write, but maybe it will help you.. so I am going to try my best. 
The first thing to do is of course practice mulabandha, sambhavi and siddhasana during your spinal breathing and other practices.. except during meditation and shamyama.. no distractions then. I have had no trouble with these, but I have been told that not all ladies can do this easily.. so please remember Self Pace. You should be able to feel your energy move up.. this is the most important thing to start with.
Along with that, either when you are intimate with your husband or when you are practicing alone, preferably start off with the second.. you have better control when you are on your own and it makes it easier to feel and control the energy.. just when you feel like you are going to have an orgasm.. stop.. make sure your are in mulabandha, sambhavi.. and breath in and feel this energy move up your spine.. that is why spinal breathing is important.. so as long as you are in sambhavi and mulabandha and breathing in and moving your awareness from the root to your head you will feel the sexual energy move up... when you breath out.. hold on the mulabandha.. this will intensify the sexual feeling in the root.. then breath in and move it up again.. for as long as you can continue this feeling keep breathing this way. Remember to move the energy up the spine, and not let it dissipate all over the upper body.
Once you feel the orgasm subside, not completely stop.. just start to get less intense.. then start stimulating yourself again.. keep going as long as to can.. stop just as you feel the orgasm coming. Initially.. it may not work out.. and you may not be able to stop in time, but with us women.. we don't have to wait to get recharge .. so just start again. With time this gets easier.. and it comes to a point.. you can go on forever, but the orgasm energy will always move up.. then, having a "normal good ol' fashioned sex" is impossible... (for me at least)... but this is so much more satisfying.
It will take a little time to get this mastered.. So once you have this all figured out.. you won't have to worry about how much sex you have with your husband.. hey, then your guru wont mind it either.. the more sex, the more energy.. the more ecstatic conductivity.. the more spiritual.. he he he ... No, but seriously.. try this.. and till you have it mastered, have normal sex with your husband.. remember, it is important to live a normal life, don't give up anything.. so, it may not happen for a year, and you lose some energy.. so what.. the spiritual path has to be traveled for a life time.. or maybe a few life times.. so in that frame of time.. a year of losing energy won't kill you .. or hold you back too much.
OK.. now I am done.. and I think I will stay away from this forum for a few days... |
Edited by - Shanti on Jun 15 2006 09:05:25 AM |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Jun 13 2006 : 8:06:33 PM
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| That was awesome, Shanti!! Don't go away, stay and write more! It's great to be able to share this stuff openly, as we women can learn from it, and the guys can too. I'm impressed that you've figured all this out without a manual. I'm ordering Yogani's Tantra book today. |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Jun 13 2006 : 8:28:10 PM
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I'm impressed as well. I thought at the end, "Wait, this is the girl that didn't read any of the Tantra section!? Yeah right."
-Scott |
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Vicki
Ireland
20 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2006 : 05:09:11 AM
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| Many thanks Yogani and Shanti for your replies. I am very grateful for your sharing Shanti, it is very helpful to me. It is great to have a space where concerns and questions can be discussed so openly. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2006 : 9:27:36 PM
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Hi Vicki,
quote:
it is very helpful to me
Thanks, I am glad it helped.
quote:
Vicki said: He also suggested eating almonds and honey every morning to combat this.
About honey and almonds... Almonds are very heating to our system. In India we were told not to eat almonds during summer.. the only way you did eat almonds were to soak them over night and take the skin off.. if not your feet and palms would be on fire, been through that.. not fun I assure you. I don't know about honey, but I just looked up Yogani's food chart, http://www.aypsite.org/200.html and honey is one of the things to avoid if you have excess pitta.. so I would guess that would be heating. So do be careful about pitta overload. It seemed like your guru is asking you to load up on energy you lose during sex, but just watch out for over heating.
Look up lesson http://www.aypsite.org/69.html for pitta overload symptoms.. and keep them in mind.. if you experience any of these you may want to stop the almonds and honey.. or at least cut back on it.
Also I have been asked to add a caution for anyone new to AYP.. all the practices I have mentioned in my post above don't get added on all at once. Please read up the lessons and add one thing at a time, so Spinal breathing first, then maybe after you are comfortable with it, add mulabandha, then sambhavi, then when you are completely stable add siddhasana. Please self pace. You can sit in siddhasana through meditation and shamyama (I do).. if it is not distracting... Also you should not make a conscious effort to do mulabandha and sambhavi during meditation and shamyama.. but if it happens automatically there is nothing wrong with that.
Moreover, pulling the energy up takes time.. I have made it sound very easy in my post.. but I have been told that it may not be that easy for all. So please don't lose faith if it is not as easy as it sounds. But this does happen, you just have to keep practicing.
quote:
Scott said:I'm impressed as well. I thought at the end, "Wait, this is the girl that didn't read any of the Tantra section!? Yeah right."
Thanks Scott, and yes, I have not read up any tantra lessons.. The AYP sitting practices were not from the tantra lessons, and the hold back was from the forum..
I have started Yogani's Tantra book.. so going forward I will know what the tantra lessons really say.
quote:
Meg said: That was awesome,
Thanks Meg. That means a lot.. |
Edited by - Shanti on Jun 15 2006 09:06:26 AM |
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nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2006 : 11:41:53 PM
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There is one useful suggestion I read online about relaxing during pre-orgasmic stimulation. It seems that when we are very near to orgasm we tend to contract or tense the muscles. So during tantra when we realize that and concentrate on easing the muscles, it will help in postponing the orgasm.
Concentrating on easing the muscles in a way takes of the attention from the building up of orgasm by puttin our mind on easing the muscle tension. May be a psychological thing too, but works great. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 16 2006 : 12:46:41 PM
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Good point Near. Yogani talks about it in his Tantra book too.
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sex and the female
