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Lesson 99 -
Practices - Front End and Back End (Audio)
Date: Wed Jan 28, 2004 0:39pm
New Visitors: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the archive, as previous
lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why
Q: Want to give you some feedback and seek some further guidance from you.
Firstly, the pranayama had an almost immediate calming effect, reducing the
intensity and wildness of the emotional storms I was experiencing. I am
currently, and so far, comfortable with the practices up to and excluding
Yoni Mudra kumbhaka. Comfortable in the sense that whilst the practices are
still somewhat clunky I have not been experiencing any surges and
I did try Yoni Mudra Kumbhaka for one day, and 3 days later after a 'severe'
emotional rollercoaster ride it felt as though my entire nervous system had
been fried - I was utterly exhausted. So I have very quickly backed off from
that for the time being.
Firstly, whilst I have had what I could describe as 2 peak experiences (1
of these before I had had ever meditated) - I do not experience feelings
of bliss or anything similar. For the most part meditation is just
'meditation'. If I slip into any form of expectation, it
then very quickly becomes an exercise in frustration. Suggestions, comments?
Secondly, I am in general able to direct energy at will, including Kundalini
yet my 'body' seems unable to cope with the energy if I do so. Kind of like
having a race-car with no oil in the engine. If you start it, the engine
just blows. Again any suggestion or comments you may have would be most
A: I am very glad that the spinal breathing helped. It is a wonderful
practice, not only for balancing, but for gradually and safely awakening the
shiva/shakti union in the sushumna and everywhere -- experienced as the rise
of ecstatic conductivity. And, of course, spinal breathing is a powerful
enhancer of meditation as well, a primary reason we do it.
If you have taken on mulabandha, sambhavi and siddhasana in such a short
time with no overloads, you are doing really fantastic. Yoni mudra kumbhaka
is another big step. It turns up the volume on everything. Even just a few
minutes of it goes a long way. When you feel like trying it again, just do
one repetition and see what happens. There can be a delayed reaction with
kumbhaka, as your experience confirms. You have to feel your way along with
it very carefully. For now you are taking the pause that refreshes. There is
no rush. You will know when you are ready to try again.
This business of "directing energy" wherever can be a two-edged sword. It
can bring some ecstasy, or it can fry us inside. It is really premature to
be doing it if it leads to the difficulties you describe. It is questionable
if it should be done at all outside the structure of practices, though we
all are curious to see what we can do inside.
Whether you are moving energy yourself or in structured practices (as in
bandhas, mudras, siddhasana and kumbhaka), what is needed is much more
"global purification" of the nervous system. This is done with meditation
and spinal breathing. If meditation is rough (boring, frustrating,
uncomfortable, etc.) at times it is a sign that much cleansing is happening
-- the very thing that is necessary to remove the source of the blockages
you have been running into. The discomfort can be minimized by following the
guidelines for practice. Check the early lessons on how to deal with the
various things that can come up in meditation. Remember, expectations are
regarded as any other thoughts that come up in meditation, and we easily go
back to the mantra. Always take enough time when coming out of meditation.
If you don't, there can be some irritability or other discomfort during the
Meditation is where you will get the most done to allow you to eventually do
more on the back end of practices (yoni mudra, etc.) So, consider doing more
on the front end of practices to help you on the back end.
There is much you can do to enhance the depth, power and smoothness of your
meditation. The length of meditation now is okay. Twenty minutes is optimal
for most people. If you put asanas in front of pranayama, that will give you
an extra step going inward, and help smooth things too. Then, if pranayama
is smooth, you can inch it up in time to take you even deeper before you get
into meditation. Try adding five minutes to pranayama. If it is smooth for a
few weeks, then try another five minutes. Spinal breathing will not only
help meditation, but "direct energy" in a more balanced way for inner
awakening. Do your energy directing up and down the sushumna between third
eye and root in spinal breathing and you will accomplish the most, with the
least chance of problems.
If you can get to ten minutes asanas, twenty minutes pranayama and twenty
minutes meditation, you will be doing global house cleaning by the
truckload. If all that stays smooth, you will be pouring lots of oil into
that racecar of yours -- cleaning and lubricating your nervous system to
enable more flow of prana. You will know it is working when you can do yoni
mudra kumbhaka with no emotional upheavals, but ecstasy instead. You will
experience more pleasure from the other practices as well. It could take a
while to get to that stage, but you will be on the right track if you focus
more on the front end practices. You seem to be a bit ahead of your nervous
system with your energy flows. So you have to go back and take care of
cleaning out the vehicle. There really isn't any way around it, unless you
want to go the Gopi Krishna route of having too much energy running around
inside, and spending years in difficulties, until finally the nervous system
is burned clean inside and the smoke clears. That isn't a very good short
cut. It can be much more fun than that.
The guru is in you.
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