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Trynnabeasadhak
India
1 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 13 2018 : 01:05:38 AM
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Growing up, I'd always had trouble with excessive sexual desire. Predictably, on the path of kundalini yoga, this misdirected energy did cause me mental grief, not to mention the immense difficulties in making progress on the path.
I met a divine sage a few years ago and I believe with his blessing, I was able to be in a state of pure celibacy. It was like becoming a child again. This was obviously helpful for my mental health too.
This celibacy has lasted 4 years. About 7-8 days ago, it broke. I indulged in self-pleasure.
Now, I admit I've never been regular with my practise but the manner in which it broke is what alarms me: Over the last few months, for whatever reasons, I could feel this slow movement of energy downwards through my chakras. I should have paid attention but due to bad karmas and bad advice, I ignored it.
7-8 days ago, when I sat for sadhana/pranayam, my mind was overwhelmed by a tsunami of sexual thoughts and fantasies. These things I'd never thought of in many years, somehow came flooding back. Every time I would open my eyes, the thoughts would abate and I'd feel better. This happened over the course of some days and in multiple sadhana/pranayam sessions.
Finally, I gave in. Ever since, I've been experiencing the ill-effects of wasted energy on my body and spiritual life.
Because of the manner in which it happened, it makes me think that this problem needs to be addressed with something other than willpower, perhaps with sadhana or pranayam but in some different way maybe. I don't know.
Could someone please help me understand how or why this happened? This should not have happened during pranayam at least!
[if it matters, I am a female.] |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4364 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2018 : 07:25:26 AM
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Hi Trynnabeasadhak,
What you are experiencing is quite normal and is an aspect of the process of awakening that many experience. It is related to the opening of the first and second chakras (muladhara and swadishtana). These chakras (especially the second) are related to creative energy and to sexual energy. This is discussed in the main lessons on this site and also in the Tantra lessons.
If you have an effective spiritual practice, then this stage will pass after some time and the energy will again move upwards through the body causing different symptoms to be experienced.
I would advise you to read through the Tantra lessons on this website from the beginning.
It is quite natural to want to be able to preserve sexual energy and to be able to transform it for the purposes of spiritual transformation, and all of that is covered in detail in the Tantra lessons.
Christi
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smileforme
USA
29 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2018 : 07:14:04 AM
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I don't do Tantric Yoga but I do meditate in a daily bases and I encounter such a problem but it is not a problem don't fight it. What ever happens it has to happen to teach you either in hurtful way or with happiness. However, you have a choice to learn in any way you like. Back to my sexual release. Like I said I don't do tantra but in a dream it is not like a dream actually since somehow I meditate even while sleeping but I wake up fully hard sometimes ejaculating but no semen is released from my body. It is inside which I ejaculated. I don't know if it makes sense. Maybe if you keep meditating when I say meditate , if you keep your awareness of the Devine with in you at all times, the Devine will take care of the rest.
You see we are like a tape recorder or call it a hard disk. We see something first and then thought passes, become feeling, and action. Unless you are detached and observe the situation as it happens. Ok it is easy to give you an example. If the majority percentage of my daily life is thinking about a girl rather than the Devine, that thinking will turn to having emotion about that girl. After that that emotion will create desire. when that desire is not get satisfied I will try to solve it in my own way. which is musterbation. Now I gave you that example just to create understanding. What happened from the beginning is that I never looked at the girl as a Devine. If I had, I wouldn't go through all those pains. And after that the guilt.
Try to fill the majority of your time in the awareness of the Devine. It is like anything which takes the majority of your time will Win over the action of your body.
Whatever happened is just to teach you to show you who you are. If you don't like who you are change it. To change there must be a desire. A desire from the bottom of your heart. A desire which makes you cry for a change. I'm not saying you have to cray but I'm trying to express the level of intensity you should have and the Devine will take care of the rest.
Be blessed by the creator.  |
Edited by - smileforme on Dec 05 2018 08:12:05 AM |
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Celibacy broke in a strange way
