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 dark night of the soul/childbirth
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Chard

250 Posts

Posted - Jun 02 2017 :  6:57:41 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hi Folks, So a few days ago I had the biggest dark night of the soul I've ever had... It mirrored childbirth except only lasted an hour. I was on the ground sobbing, screaming and literally feeling like I was pushing something out of me.
I had beautiful natural waterbirths with my 2 children and it brought me back to my birthing experiences... I've never felt more fully present, primal and more alive than while birthing. It was such a spiritual process of surrendering on the deepest level in the midst of unimaginable physical pain. I've never felt more like a warrior in my life than after my births.
I can see that I'm entirely in a season of deep spiritual purification (again!!) so I'm trying to remember that level of surrender and welcoming these unravelings for which I'm so grateful - as they just bring me higher I feel... and yet its so hard and takes such courage too! Can anyone relate?
Thank you all again for your support as I'm so grateful for it at this time in my life! Chard

sunyata

USA
1507 Posts

Posted - Jun 02 2017 :  9:17:53 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yes,to both,childbirth and purification boot camp. Kali comes to mind- fierce softness.

Edited by - sunyata on Jun 02 2017 9:27:06 PM
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parvati9

USA
587 Posts

Posted - Jun 03 2017 :  11:24:13 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
When kundalini is quiet and settled down, it somehow feels like I'm not really paying attention... that there's an important but elusive issue that needs attending. As time passes, sure enough, Shakti/ Kali makes it impossible not to pay attention. Then I go - yeah, I knew there was something I was supposed to be dealing with - and now here it is. Extreme misery is hard to avoid dealing with. It can be a huge spotlight zooming in on some pattern of our lives that requires addressing (and we were previously denying, avoiding or oblivious to). Basically the universe finds a way to make us confront it.

The last several months have been the kind to sob and scream about... feeling numb from repeatedly going through this stuff, so just waiting for life to go quiet again, remaining present, as well as possible, with the pain. Now that everything is settling down a bit, ironically I've begun to appreciate the turmoil because apparently, along with the crisis, relevant adjustments were being made. Clarity and purification (cleaning up the mess) simultaneously comes with being on the cutting edge. On that well-defined edge, at least it was impossible to be in denial, and consequently what needed to happen was happening. Being oblivious is no picnic either - it just puts off the (karmic) reckoning. At some point it's irrelevant to assign blame as to who made the mess; It simply needs cleaning up.

We must be compassionate with ourselves when going through a rough patch and eventually we learn what works best. It's probably a necessary skill to develop on our spiritual path.

love
parvati

Edited by - parvati9 on Jun 03 2017 3:51:49 PM
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KarenVic

Canada
67 Posts

Posted - Jun 26 2017 :  12:14:22 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Chard, thank you for sharing your journey. Its not all fun and giggle, and these are the times we need support and here is the place for it.
I salute your courage, your determination, the door must be entered and the timing is up to us. This life or another, but it has to be done. So why not NOW. You are beautiful, with Divine strength and Destiny, you cannot fail on your quest for God is assured. Just keep breathing, Just keep swimming With Love and Light to you<K

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