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peacefulliving
United Kingdom
1 Posts |
 Posted - May 06 2017 : 2:12:24 PM
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How do I know if my girl friend just has a low sex drive or some sort of energy block that can be worked though with tantra, tao, yoni eggs..etc. ?
Sometimes it seems she cannot feel much sensation "down there" at all and has problems orgasming. She also does not seem to get much sensation or pleasure from her breasts. She seems to have an over lack of passion and is not as physical as me. How do I know if this is stuff we can work out or if we are just not a good match? I know there is more to a relationship than sex but I feel like we are in a 10 year old relationship. We lost the spark so quickly. It doesn't help that it is a long distance relationship and we only see each other 2-3 months :(
It really means a lot to me she is like an angel to me and supported me through a really tough time in my life. I am so grateful to have her in my life and really want it to work. Partly it is because she is still getting to know me and opening up to me. Or maybe she is just like this and we are not a match. Maybe I am too sexual and have my own problems. There is a lot at play here and hard to explain.
Will these things connect us more physically?
Hope this is the right place to ask such questions.
Thanks.
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Dogboy
USA
2198 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2017 : 5:05:09 PM
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Welcome PL
How does your partner feel about the differences in your drives? Is this something she even feels is a problem for her? There are many aspects of a successful relationship and a compatible sex drive is certainly one; only the individuals involved can decide how much weight it carries. There can be multiple reasons why she is less "active", but if she feels little desire to explore them, then the change will have to come from you, by adjusting your expectations, supplementing with self-love, or if you are too troubled by it, ending the relationship. Having a frank discussion about it, if she is open to the discussion, could go a long way to helping you both decide how to proceed. Long distance relationships are harder in general, so if you don't have open communication, you don't have much of a foundation.
You don't mention if you have a yoga practice, but if you do, brahmacharya, the retaining of sexual essence to advance your yoga practice, is a terrific way to have your cake and eat it too. I have been married twenty one years to my best friend (I'm in my late 50s) and we definately aren't as active sexually as we were, which is perfect for the aging yogi that I am. Although my wife is not into yoga (except for an occasional meditation to relieve stress) she fully supports my yoga "mistress" and our relationship is as strong as ever. I assume you are a young man and the thought of retaining semen must seem like an impossibility. It does not need to be an all-or-nothing decision; the idea is to retain for as many days as you can in between your usual "sexual duties". If you "spend", then do so without shame or judgement and simply reset the intention. This is enough to advance you along the spiritual path nicely, simultaneously reducing the pressure on her to meet your sexual needs.
Another thing to try if she is open to it is to take sexual congress off the table completely and focus the foreplay aspect: massages, kissing and hugging, hand holding, feather-light touching, and other erogenous explorations. Perhaps by taking the time to hunt out sensation in each other can lead to a better sexual Union.
It sounds as if you care enough for her to delve in a bit deeper. Good luck and love to you! |
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Mismatched Sex Drives New Relationship
