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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 7:51:52 PM
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Namaste everyone,
I have been smoking marijuana for past 5 years and almost daily too. 2 Years ago i had a very bad kundalini awakening and exactly as told by Yogani i felt i was being sucked out of my body. Well, i realized lot of reality of life after that incident. Offcourse, i used to smoke and meditate before this. After the kundalini awakening i was spiritual for 2 months but completely lost everything after my college started from summer break. Fast forward now, I started doing ayp techninques like pranayama with mulabanda, sambhavi and khechari mudra, then heart breathing remembering my gurudev ganesh bhagwan;then mantra meditation I am . Also, i started chanting Hare Krishna mantra sometimes during my work to get high. I had started this techniques after i quit smoking marijuna for job purposes. So it had been 3 days i had stop smoking marijuana, i could not stop getting irritated and got into fight with my customers since i work in a gasstation in a hood area. So that day i smoked marijuana at night i felt intense kundalini energy but it was quite controlable and i went oustide and felt the connection between all the people in the streets, the sky(i think i was in a wintness state).So then i stop marijuana and at least 5 days a week did Ayp techniques. This lasted for only 10 days. 2 days ago, my cousin came with marijuana and since i had bad day at work i smoked that night. After fe minutes i felt very intense kundalini energy but it was still quite controlable and i was drinking beer too. Then i started enjoying the enrgy and started being aware of breath then slowly chanted hare krisha mantra. Instant bliss for a while so i kepton chanting in my mind. THen i stopped then chanted gansesh mantra and acknwoleged my gurudev. So then i was singing with my cousin and then we decided to get some food outside. As soon i was thinking of living m house i got intense deep sensation and then baam the energy is too much. I felt uncontrolable energy and thunderstorm started happening. N then i experienced very overwhelming energy which i cant control bad it didnt felt like 2 years ago. Then i started chanting and acknowhledging krishna and ganesh but it actuall got worst. I was in panic and ran outside. Then i though of going to harbour so i could be near water. Also it was raining that time. Then i remembered kali mata as i had just read a kali article from a link given in the forum. It felt very scary and some visions of kali really scared me. As i felt the different energy or vibration of different dieties it was still very intense experience and i was still very panicking. Then in a side road i met a crackhead and started talking to him. I felt little better after talking to him, and then the thunder noise came and i got intense fear of thunder. I was thinking the thunder will surely hit me. I had this fear 2 years ago too and sometimes when i felt very spiritual. Logically i think, sometime i know when i meditate outside rain falls from sky so likewise i think that when i have intense energy like this it will surely hit me. Is this fear really serious ? Is it logical to think like that thunder will hit me. ALso,i am smoking while writing this after two days break. I really want to quit but dont know why i smoked again but i dont feel too much intense energy right now. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2015 : 9:01:32 PM
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Check out my lesson called Working from the Ground Up:
http://ayprecovery.org/home/ayp-too...p-practices/
You need more grounding/healing/integration, and less straining for transcendence. Transcendence comes best when we are easing into it, not when we are forcefully trying to break through. We slide through. We glide through. We skip along and soar through.
The human body is a miracle, as is the Earth. I advise getting in touch with those aspects of your Being before you try too hard to commune with Kali.  |
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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2015 : 7:30:10 PM
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| I have been working out for 2 weeks now and it has made me very balanced than before... but now when I smoke marijuana it feels really intense energy..which i can still handle.. and I went through the link and it is really helpful.Thank for that... now I just want to know about the thunder... does a kundalini awakened person attract thunder ? I have this fear ... |
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Wolfgang
Germany
470 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2015 : 7:35:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by iseekbalance
I have been working out for 2 weeks now and it has made me very balanced than before... but now when I smoke marijuana it feels really intense energy..which i can still handle.. and I went through the link and it is really helpful.Thank for that... now I just want to know about the thunder... does a kundalini awakened person attract thunder ? I have this fear ...
Are you afraid of thunder in general ?
or are you afraid that you might attract/create thunder ? |
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alecpeace
USA
95 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2015 : 8:15:24 PM
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iseek,
Can you please explain how/why/where/why of your "very bad kundalini awakening"?
I think it's important to establish the facts about the source of your issues. Also, would you say that you belong to any sectarian religion?
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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2015 : 10:31:29 PM
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Wolfgang,
I did not had any fear of thunder before kundalini awakening.When i have too much energy and if it happens to thunderstorm then i fear it would hit me.
Alecpeace,
Religiuosly i am hindu but i try accept evryones concept and try to compare them. And "very bad kundalini awakening" was for the incident little more than two years ago when i used to meditate a lot observing my breath. Then my uncle from back home in my country Nepal told me that i should have a guru or have real love and connection with a deity. So i chose Shree Ganesh as my gurudev and connected with my gurudev wsing various mantra go Ganesh. So i started feeling to much energy and could distinctly feel my 6th chakra and 2 chakra when i foucsed on it. So one day i told my mom back home that i smoke weed but told her i will quit. So the day i quit weed, a regular customer in my job gave me some weed. So i thought thatis now going to be my last blunt. So while smoking it i was watching a blackhole documentary. And in the video it says the universe has one massive blackhole in the center. So i began thinking that the actual blackhole must be the soul of the universe... and i felt i realized what black hole was.... and then i think energy exploded in my head.. I felt i couldnt handle the energy. Then i panicked then i felt the crown of my chakra almost sucking me or my energy i was sure that i was going to die if i was managed to get sucked in. With the suction feeling in me i went outside and clearl percieved the energy doing every activities, while talking to people. i try to do good things so i fed a homeless guy. the feeling of suction had never went away. I was praying god to let me live and i will do good in my life. I was panicking and then i thought of sex to get the energy out. So outside 7 11 store a gal was standing and then i went to her and literally put thoughts in her mind by directly look at her. And then she did what i said to her but then i thought this a test of god so thought i should do only good.So i called home and they freaked out. My mom told me to go home. So while i was going home a dude stopped me and tried to fight me. SO i got crazy and burst crying but he was from the church. So two lady came to me and one of them hold my hand and i felt calm and felt little of energy going into her body. She told me to acknowledge jesus but i was still stubborn about my religion so i said no. So i let go of her hand and the feeling of suntcion was still there. So i was in the side crying while sitting down on the street floor and in front of a masjid a black young guy gave me his hand. I took his hand to stand up but as soon as i caught his hand all my enrgy went from my hand to his and i felt as if the man was a god himeself And he said "evrything is going to be alright " and felt as the god himself told this. So the suction was gone but the kundalini was awaken. I had kundalini awarness for about 3 months |
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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2015 : 10:39:15 PM
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Wolfgang,
I think i will attract thunder.
alecpeace,
I dont think i am in any kind of sectarian religion. But i am a hindu and prefer hindu mantra. I do chanting sometimes. My second bad kundalini awakening came after i smoked and started chanting mantra. This was like approz 1 week ago |
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2015 : 11:58:27 PM
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My advice is along the lines of Bodhi Tree's. I don't think mantra meditation is particularly safe for you right now. If I were you, I'd keep working out, walk a lot, eat some heavy foods, masturbate, and try some loving-kindness meditation. I'm just stating the standard self-pacing stuff. And bro, if you're seeking balance you gotta cut back on the drugs. If you're addicted, which I personally think you are, try a recovery program like AYP for Recovery or something else.
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alecpeace
USA
95 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2015 : 12:12:51 AM
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iseek,
I believe Winston Churchill once said "the only thing to fear, is fear itself". Have you noticed that the things you are most afraid of, you tend to attract more of? Letting go of the concept of fear is liberating for your entire being. As a Hindu, you understand the concept of reincarnation, and you understand that death is the beginning of life. Going deeper, we can borrow from Buddha, that living a life of dharma will only bring positivity and joy to your life. Fear is like the emergency break for dharma; no progress can be made when fear rules your life. Next time you hear thunder, just understand that it's something that comes and goes and it cannot touch you because you are living the life of dharma and accumulating good karmas everywhere you go by doing good deeds for others. The Law of Nature states that nature will never punish you for being its servant, for being a compassionate creature, quite the contrary, it will reward you and give you blessings. Being an eternal being who is living the life of dharma, you can focus on your spiritual progress and look to the big picture, and welcoming all spiritual experiences with compassion and acceptance because your deity is looking out for you and the universe will never harm you. 
Another thing I noticed... The universe is clearly trying to tell you to stop smoking weed!  |
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Wolfgang
Germany
470 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2015 : 03:51:28 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by iseekbalance
Wolfgang,
I think i will attract thunder.
You might adress your fear of thunder.
First of all: thunder itself is a powerful noise,
but not every thunder causes lightning coming down to earth.
When thunder is heard, it usually is a long distance away from us,
so there is no chance that lightning will hit us.
This may help you to handle your fear.
Now, about attracting thunder (and lightning):
I had several experiences where it seemed that I can influence
the weather, also attracting a thunderstorm.
I once had the experience that I could move the approaching
thunderstorm and cause it to move past me, past my house.
Of course I have no prove that it was me that caused the storm
to pass by. I am not experimenting with this, however, I believe
that when in extreme danger, I would be able to influence
the storm. 
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Dogboy
USA
2193 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2015 : 08:31:58 AM
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quote:
So i was in the side crying while sitting down on the street floor and in front of a masjid a black young guy gave me his hand. I took his hand to stand up but as soon as i caught his hand all my enrgy went from my hand to his and i felt as if the man was a god himeself And he said "evrything is going to be alright " and felt as the god himself told this.
 miracles in the everyday |
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Fear of thunderstrikeand punishment!
