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Kahlia
161 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 08:34:28 AM
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I have been practicing Hatha yoga and some Kundalini yoga for over 15 years or so.In the last year I have been focusing more intensely on kundalini cultivation after an intense experience a year ago. My libido is crazy and way out of balance. I am having a hard time relaxing because I have so much sexual energy and depending on different times in the month I am over whelmed by it not matter what I do. Can any one suggest any way to help re balance? I am female in my early 30's.
Thank you 
Kahlia
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 1:18:58 PM
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Hi Shanti.
I have learnt various different tantric yoga techniques over the years and experimented. Recently I find myself drawn to some Taoist practices which have been very helpful but lately I just find the over abundance of sexual energy I have too hard to contain. It is starting to manifest and effect me negatively (moodiness, irritability, restlessness), at times I feel I have no control over it. I think I probably need to go back to basics again and start up a very structured, daily yoga/meditation practice and try to increase my physical exercise.
I have a partner but we do not practice tantra together which is most unfortunate. He is open to it though which is promising. Unfortunately our libidos are not matched and he says he feels drained after love making I am wondering if this because of me?
I experience amroli on a pretty much daily basis and I was just wondering if this was too much and I was doing a disservice to myself and compounding my situation and excessive energy? I have read some comments in other posts about the fluctuations and biochemical surges and changes that happen after orgasm and I guess I am concerned that this may be part of my problem?
I went through a huge kundalini shift and reawakening last year, it would seem it is still ongoing. I am aware that this can be helped greatly by revisiting the basic fundamentals of yoga and meditation practice but I was just wondering if there is anything perhaps I am missing that could help?
I have visited this site on and off for a number of years now. It is always such a great place to come when one becomes a little lost and misguided in ones practice.
Any insight or feedback would be greatly appreciated.
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Edited by - Kahlia on Apr 03 2011 1:20:41 PM |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2011 : 11:25:10 AM
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The Enlightened Sex Manual by Deida is useful in getting men onto the tantric path, even those who are not yoga enthusiasts.
Written in a Western voice, for a mainstream reader.
Best of luck!
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...al&x=14&y=18 |
Edited by - HathaTeacher on Apr 04 2011 11:28:13 AM |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2011 : 7:28:31 PM
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| Thanks for the book suggestion! At this point I am desperate for new levels of intimacy and consciousness in our relationship. Hopefully he is too, I think so! He knows I am having a hard time constantly craving physical intimacy and I think he feels a little insecure about this because he is older than me and feels he cant keep up. Hopefully we can both rise above this obstacle and it can bring us together. I realise this is probably up to me and I am going to lead the way in this which I am not used to but I am certainly going to try my very hardest. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2011 : 09:19:04 AM
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Hi Kahlia,
What is your practice routine? Do you have some form of meditation in your routine, some form of pranayama? (Sorry if you have mentioned this somewhere and I missed it).
In this path, having a well rounded approach is very important. I may be wrong, but to me it sounds like you have been doing a lot of practices that increase energy, the shakti aspect, but not enough to increase the inner silence, the Shiva aspect. Getting a balance of the two will help you greatly.
Also, the main thing to keep in mind during tantra, is to pull up the energy along the spine (which I know you are aware of). Once inner silence increases, this energy being pulled upward dissolves in the stillness. So the excess energy/out of balance feeling reduces. The idea is to expand the stillness/inner silence and move the energy up and the union of the two results in the outpouring of divine love.
Also, if there is a lot of sexual energy, and you have been pulling the energy upward during an orgasm, when you go though a phase of feeling overwhelmed with the energy, it is OK to have an orgasm and not pull the energy upward. (http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=1210#8037). For women, the energy depletion is not as high, and it can actually be grounding to let go the energy. As you continue with your practices and cultivate more and more stillness, the energy will neutralize itself. and then love making becomes more about the divine energies and less about the physical.
Hope some of this helps. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2011 : 4:00:40 PM
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Thanks Shanti for an excellent sum-up. In my experience, the more regular and dedicated the pranayama, asana, and meditation, the gentler and easier the upward pull in tantra.
Kahlia, you might be at a (temporary, around 35) hormonal peak in life. The same difference in age can eventually pay off 10 or 20 years later when you approach menopause and your man might be more keen than you (temporarily). Mutual tolerance and not-writing "lists of requirements" mentally (regarding partner or self) is a win-win in the long run.
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2011 : 9:43:22 PM
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I meditate daily for 30min using mindfulness of breathing and metta meditation and do a little restorative yoga. I have recently re- incorporated nadi shodhana and spinal breathing before meditation and I am experimenting with some taoist techniques like the macrocosmic orbit etc. I am trying my hardest to channel my energy upward as gently as possible. I find a technique using spinal breathing and imaging the energy flowing out of the top of the head and showering down very helpful. I sometimes do chakra and ovarian/uterus breathing. I think my practices are all pretty low key and relaxing and restorative. I plan on start doing a yin yoga class once a week in a few weeks which I hope will be of great benefit- I loveeeeee yin yoga!
I have had a problem managing anxiety all my life so relaxing and restoration is very important. I am thinking that this indeed maybe some kind of hormonal thing because of my age. I do have some hormonal issues, I always have and I have always had some reproductive health issues as well.
The energy fluctuations are so intense and extreme at times I literally beg god and pray for help to get through it. I am trying to explore how to use our love making to help channel, circulate and ground my energy. I find after love making I am just so energized and blissful for hours afterward.
I am familiar with the AYP practices I - started visiting the old yahoo group back in 2005.
You guys are very helpful- thanks so much! |
Edited by - Kahlia on Apr 05 2011 9:51:08 PM |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 08:39:01 AM
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| Sounds like almost there. Grounding is helpful, and especially with an anxious or sensitive mind, so a yoga class is a good idea as well as other physical activities, be "fine" like ikebana, a female org., or yoga - or "hard" like gardening or sports. They're where we're trained to combine doing and letting go at the same time; tricky in theory but quite natural in practice. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 01:52:05 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kahlia
My libido is crazy and way out of balance.
So do you reach orgasm / have multiple orgasms during sex and still its not enough?
What exactly you mean by crazy?
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 04:27:58 AM
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I do not feel going into such detail would be appropriate for the forum.
I will say at times I have an abundance of sexual energy no matter what I try. The only thing I find soothing during these intense times is doing spinal breathing and showering the energy out through the spine over the top of the crown. Circulating energy helps at times, bringing it in and out and breathing through the centers in the body and various organs. I feel if I have a lot of this energy I should use it to help revitalize and heal. I do realise in hindsight this is hormonal and an ongoing Kundalini process I have been going through over the last year. |
Edited by - Kahlia on Apr 08 2011 05:21:41 AM |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 08:03:15 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kahlia
I do not feel going into such detail would be appropriate for the forum.
I will say at times I have an abundance of sexual energy no matter what I try. The only thing I find soothing during these intense times is doing spinal breathing and showering the energy out through the spine over the top of the crown. Circulating energy helps at times, bringing it in and out and breathing through the centers in the body and various organs. I feel if I have a lot of this energy I should use it to help revitalize and heal. I do realise in hindsight this is hormonal and an ongoing Kundalini process I have been going through over the last year.
And you call that crazy  
Well I was going through this chapter in 'Autobiography of a Yogi' yesterday. Here are few quotes from the chapter:
"In sleep, you do not know whether you are a man or a woman. Just as a man, impersonating a woman, does not become one, so the soul, impersonating both man and woman, has no sex. The soul is the pure, changeless image of God."
"Just as the purpose of eating is to satisfy hunger, not greed, so the sex instinct is designed for the propagation of the species according to natural law, never for the kindling of insatiable longings. Destroy wrong desires now; otherwise they will follow you after the astral body is torn from its physical casing. Even when the flesh is weak, the mind should be constantly resistant. If temptation assails you with cruel force, overcome it by impersonal analysis and indomitable will. Every natural passion can be mastered."
"Conserve your powers. Be like the capacious ocean, absorbing within all the tributary rivers of the senses. Small yearnings are openings in the reservoir of your inner peace, permitting healing waters to be wasted in the desert soil of materialism. The forceful activating impulse of wrong desire is the greatest enemy to the happiness of man. Roam in the world as a lion of self-control; see that the frogs of weakness don't kick you around."
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Autob...i/Chapter_12
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 08:09:38 AM
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| Of course, the thinking about sex has changed since Yogananda's time. While it is good to conserve sexual energy for kundalini reasons, we have to be careful we are not denying and suppressing it. That can cause worse problems. |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 06:38:39 AM
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Good point Ether regarding the denying and suppressing and how this can compound the situation. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 08:07:39 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
While it is good to conserve sexual energy for kundalini reasons, we have to be careful we are not denying and suppressing it.
Yes.
Energy is always in movement -- either going out or coming in. Energy can never be static. These are the laws. When an impulse, any impulse, comes to you, it means energy is moving out. When you stop suddenly, the energy cannot be static in you. You have become static, but the energy cannot be static in you, and the mechanism through which it was moving out is not dead, it has stopped. So what can the energy do? The energy cannot do anything other than move inward.~ Osho
But this is bit different. Read once again.
Even when the flesh is weak, the mind should be constantly resistant. If temptation assails you with cruel force, overcome it by impersonal analysis and indomitable will. Every natural passion can be mastered.~ Swami Yukteswarji Giri
Naturally!
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Chiron
Russia
397 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2011 : 9:29:21 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kahlia
I The only thing I find soothing during these intense times is doing spinal breathing and showering the energy out through the spine over the top of the crown. Circulating energy helps at times, bringing it in and out and breathing through the centers in the body and various organs.
Was going to advise something similar, but you're already doing it!
quote:
Originally posted by Kahlia
I have a partner but we do not practice tantra together which is most unfortunate. He is open to it though which is promising. Unfortunately our libidos are not matched and he says he feels drained after love making I am wondering if this because of me?
Your partner doesn't need to be into spirituality to learn some of the basic non-ejaculatory techniques such as the ones found on this site. If he learns not to ejaculate then he won't feel drained but will be energised instead. To practice it properly does require a mindshift though, so don't know, good luck! |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2011 : 1:28:10 PM
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Thank you Chiron! I feel I have a little more understanding and insight into what is going on for me now which is good! Meditation certainly helps and I have started the I AM mantra. I have been listening to the AYP interviews with Yogani and they have been insightful, I am really enjoying them.
*bow* 
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mimirom
Czech Republic
368 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2011 : 6:12:54 PM
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| Just wanted to say hello and welcome, Kahlia. Your posts are very interesting. I'm glad to meet you here at the forums. |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2011 : 02:03:31 AM
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| Thank you Mimirom |
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markern
Norway
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2011 : 11:38:27 AM
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You can do the five tibetan rites and add in the lesser known sixth rite which is meant to sublimate sexual energy.
You can also try the practice called turtle breathing. It is described on alchemicaltaoism.com and is supposedly very effective. |
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markern
Norway
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2011 : 11:41:53 AM
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| In chinese medicine anxiety is connected to the spleen/pancreas and kidneys. THe kidney version comes more our of direct fear whereas the spleen version stems more from worry. You might be able to feel in your body if it comes from one or both of the organs. THe practice of six healing sounds can be very helpful in working with the organs |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2011 : 07:37:20 AM
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Thanks Markern I will be sure to check out the information on the site!
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2011 : 08:47:10 AM
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| So now I go to 3 or 4 yoga classes a week and do some home practice...and I try to get out and walk weather permitting and my energy overload problem is fixed! This may seem a little excessive but I am loving it and it is really working for me so I am just going with it YAY |
Edited by - Kahlia on Jul 23 2011 09:00:10 AM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2011 : 09:09:01 AM
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manigma wrote:
"Even when the flesh is weak, the mind should be constantly resistant. If temptation assails you with cruel force, overcome it by impersonal analysis and indomitable will. Every natural passion can be mastered.~ Swami Yukteswarji Giri"
Yes even though this comes from the east, it is a belief in western religions too. In fact, catholic priests follow this same advice. It's simple! on paper.
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 03:56:48 AM
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Congrats, Kahlia!
In another forum thread here, Yogani says it's an array of techniques. Over time, they simplify each other; a system, more than just a sum of all parts. |
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Louie
Canada
26 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2011 : 1:12:20 PM
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The mismatched libido problem is pretty common I think. I have always had huge amounts of sexual energy and would happily have sex every day. I wife has a much lower libido and it has been the source of much frustration and tension in our marriage, especially since we had kids.
For a while I was looking into ways to reduce my libido through drusg or some other physical intervention because I thought this would help reduce the starin my marriage.
Since discovering Tantra I have come to understand that my extreme sexual energy is a gift. It is the rocket fuel that I can use to create a wonderful life for myself. My wife's low(er) libido is also a gift because it forces me to consider how to use this energy in other areas of my life rather than just seeking sex all the time.
This is why I think it is important to do Tantra as part of a balanced program of right and left hand practices rather than just seeking a better sex life. This energy can be used for so much more than just sex. It can be channled into every area of your life. |
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How To Reduce Libedo
