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 Yoga, Career and Money
 Is meditation turning me into a whimp?
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  12:40:46 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
hello my friends,

i've been wondering to myself the other day; is meditation and all the spiritual practices i've been doing for about 7 years now (since i was 17) has turned me into some sort of a whimp especially these last two years.

note this lesson by yogani:
http://www.aypsite.org/28.html

let me share some details with you concerning my personal life.

i've been working in a book store since the age of 16 (family business) and i am about to finish two degrees one in political sciences which i'm very good at and the other in law which is the one i lost the desire to continue and don't care about too anymore (maybe a little for the prestige).

never mind the fact that working as a lawyer here in beirut doesn't pay too much money (one of the benefits of living in a third world country, doctors as well go and search for work outside the country).

but the main reason is that practicing law is all about being competitive and such and that kind of thingy is not my thing anymore i hate being competitive now never mind being around competitive people whom their main aim is the pursuit of material gain and feeding their ego.

plus i am neither a bully nor a whimp, but still i wasn't such a very nice guy in the past; you c i wouldn't give second thoughts about getting into a fight in the past.

but now i try every mean possible not to get into one, and if i even hurt som1 by a word i would feel remorse until i say to him i'm sorry.

so do you think that i'm a whimp?

namaskar,

Ananda

Edited by - Ananda on Dec 03 2008 10:32:57 PM

CarsonZi

Canada
3061 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  1:23:00 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yup, you're a big woosy!

Just kidding....it's all a part of the process. I'm sure you will find that there will be times when you feel it is important to engage in a littel conflict or confrontation, but those times become less and less, in my experience, as we progress along the journey of unifying ourself with the Source Love. You are becoming more intune with your emotions and this is good. All is as it should be, and should you start getting beaten up, you will soon be able to levitate away to a safe distance. haha. Best of luck Brother.

Love,
Carson
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  2:49:48 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
hi Carson, that's a nice post you've put a big smile on my face.

and don't worry about me, in case the heat is on i'm all for it (it's hard not to respond if a person is getting a beating).

it's going to take me some time until i become like gandhi.

for now i am trying my best not to get into a fight if i ever run into one (and over here it's like fight club).

personaly i'm loving every1 these days even the ones i used to be in a quarrel with in the past i made peace with even though... but still it's for the better (this act of forgiveness and making peace gives a beautiful sense of freedom).

by the way this whole talking of fights, reminded me of smthg similar to what happened to john in the secrets of wilder when he was getting a beating from a bunch of guys and experienced himself as the witness in that case.

woosy power,

Ananda
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YogaIsLife

641 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  4:53:34 PM  Show Profile  Visit YogaIsLife's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I have always been a whimp, prefered to live in my own little world than try "dangerous" stuff, let alone fights. Never had the guts, or the inclination (hard to tell which), for that. But somehow, sometimes, I wish I had more balls.

I think this is why I meditate, to have more balls. Now, seriously, it centers me, makes me feel more confident in daily life, and that is what I need I think. Imagine that...meditation as an aid for starting a fight... wow!
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  5:18:18 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
now that's a very vivid imagination, and yes deep meditation does give a lot of self esteem.

but concerning going into a fight, it works the exact opposite.

you don't turn into a woosy, you kind of forgive and say why the hell should i fight... in some certain situations whom a couple of years back i would've definitely made a big deal out of it.

but to be honest, being a woosy is cool and relaxing i hate going into fights even though they sort of have a good vibe coming from them when you are the one who is doing the beating.

so to choose between the two, i'd go with being a whimp it's simply put: "a lot more comfortable".

woosy power,

Ananda
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YogaIsLife

641 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  5:36:47 PM  Show Profile  Visit YogaIsLife's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
ananda, of course! I was jiking with the whole going into a fight thing!

but it's like you say: meditation as a self-esteem buster. That's what I need. I was commenting with some other people in another thread that sometimes you can have too little an ego, and that can be as damaging as having to large an ego, some people were saying.

Anyway I went for a good walk and feel refreshed at the moment too much energy running around and doesn't know where to go...sometimes it's the little things that work

thanks my friend

woosy power all the way
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Etherfish

USA
3602 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2008 :  10:42:37 PM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I used to be timid in my younger years because I was sensitive, didn't like the idea of fighting because i was empathetic. So I would do anything to avoid them. people thought of me as a woos because I wouldn't stand up for myself and i rationalized that I didn't care what people thought.

But now i'm not a woos at all, i will stand up for myself, but i still don't get in fights.
But i'll only do it if there's a reason other than making my ego feel good.

Meditation has brought so much peace that people just walk away and don't fight now! It's weird; they can be bubbling over, ready to explode, and I can say the trigger phrase to blow them up, and they just say OK, and walk away. It's like they know there's no way I will change, and they know there's no way i will fight also.
Also I've lost all fear of people thinking I'm a woos! I truly don't care. One thing I've learned from getting older; lots of people have lots of erroneous thoughts and it's not my job to change them.
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YogaIsLife

641 Posts

Posted - Dec 02 2008 :  04:18:15 AM  Show Profile  Visit YogaIsLife's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Great post Etherfish, thanks for sharing.
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Dec 02 2008 :  05:48:34 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
that's a wonderful post Ether, thks for sharing.

and what you just mentioned might work on some, but not on everyone (some people are simply put ...)

we should pray for them of course and pray for everyone who is suffering bcz of them.

Ananda
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Etherfish

USA
3602 Posts

Posted - Dec 02 2008 :  11:34:36 PM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Oh yes, I realize it's not some kind of universal magic. It's just the situations i am lead to.
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JosephUK

United Kingdom
212 Posts

Posted - Nov 19 2010 :  11:19:05 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hey, this is a really interesting discussion because i've always wanted to be the biggest strongest fighter there is but in reality i'm probably one of the most peaceful guys around.

with my Schizophrenia there was always a middleeastern side and and western side.

At first i wanted to join one side not the other and then i had a moment of being in the witness state and realized that although both have infinite worth both are wrong in terms of the fight.

now i am beginning to come to terms that i am a christian who loves Christ and a Hindu who cultivates Christ consciousness, there seems no escape from the peaceful energy.

interestingly i've tried praying to a variety of different kinds of Angels such as Angels of punishment and Divine Angels who have Authority over Hell. This can give you access to energies which can defend you in sticky situations such as conflicts.

this doesn't mean hitting anyone nor even raising your voice (all signs of weakness)

it's all done with (in psychology speak) transference or the energy that you communicate with your foe.

i also pray to Archangel Michael who can Aid you with conflict management in terms of communication and also managing any fear that arises.

I reccomend "Dictionary of Angels" by Gustav Davidson.

it shows all the Archangels of the different Rabbinical faiths so you can see the similarities.

Joe
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Nov 19 2010 :  11:51:12 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
It's funny that you opened up this subject, the other day i was going to explode on someone but instead inner silence crept in and forced me not to (like literally.) And the whole thing went for the better of course, because if i would've exploded than that means i would've lost my new job most probably...

Namaste
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riptiz

United Kingdom
696 Posts

Posted - Nov 20 2010 :  11:37:15 AM  Show Profile  Visit riptiz's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Ananda,
Well if meditation means increasing compassion, love and respect for others.Loving oneself for being the person that you are then we are all wimps and I'm loving every minute of my life for it.So I'm for all you wimps out there who are making this world and other peoples lives better through your actions or inactions.Bring on the next level!!!!!!!!!!!
L&L
Dave
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Etherfish

USA
3602 Posts

Posted - Nov 20 2010 :  7:00:46 PM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Actually no, i don't think this is being a wimp at all. People who would call you a wimp for not fighting think that fighting is some kind of "right answer" for a situation, and it's not. When people get fighting mad, the disagreement is usually not about something physical, and a physical fight won't solve it.
if I sleep with your wife, and you beat me to a pulp, how does that change anything about the original problem? fighting is really low on the scale of solving problems, and people who use it are pretty low on the scale of human interaction.
So don't let these kind of people fool you into thinking they are somehow better than you because they are not afraid to solve problems in a caveman way. Being unafraid to do something stupid only buys you status with the lowest people in society.
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escapado

Germany
88 Posts

Posted - Mar 07 2011 :  12:00:44 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
yes I agree with you etherfish
Still I wouldnt say "(physical) fights are always bad and should be avoided at any cost"
sometimes you have to/it's worth it/it's an old fear you want to get over

Also everyone who's been in a fight knows the feeling of aliveness it brings

I don't like fights, too
But
I'd say I'd fight for truth and this I call rebellion
And I'd fight for people and this I call love
And I'd also fight to lose commonsense and just get the heat pumped up (with someone who's into fighting with me, not someone innocent)
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Mar 07 2011 :  06:07:56 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Good to see this topic again and after looking back at it... I guess meditation has made my life free from fights and who is here or there to be a wimp anyhows

Love,
Ananda
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maheswari

Lebanon
2169 Posts

Posted - Mar 08 2011 :  06:44:04 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
who is here to be all those labels??
by nature i am peaceful...i dont go into fights that involve beating
but sometimes i am aggressive in the way i talk...sometimes my voice tone shows real irritation
ananda now i am scared of you......lol...it is better to cu at a safe distance
woosy power ???? ...lol...
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Etherfish

USA
3602 Posts

Posted - Mar 08 2011 :  07:13:48 AM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by escapado

yes I agree with you etherfish
Still I wouldnt say "(physical) fights are always bad and should be avoided at any cost"
sometimes you have to/it's worth it/it's an old fear you want to get over


Yes I fully agree - anything you have a fear of should be done to the max. I had a fear of heights so I learned to sky dive; I had a fear of blood and knives, so I learned to be a surgical assistant; I had stage fright so I joined groups who perform on stage, etc. Fears should be dived into completely!
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Mar 08 2011 :  11:37:22 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by maheswari


woosy power



A+
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Delara

Lebanon
305 Posts

Posted - Mar 10 2011 :  5:43:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I once punched a guy who grabbed my butt!
the only guilty feeling i have is that i didn't punch him on his jaw...it would have been a knock out!
I think meditation has a lot of work to do over here before I act peacefully in such occasions
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Etherfish

USA
3602 Posts

Posted - Mar 10 2011 :  7:16:40 PM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yeah, punching him on the butt doesn't hurt very much.
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Delara

Lebanon
305 Posts

Posted - Mar 11 2011 :  6:38:28 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish

Yeah, punching him on the butt doesn't hurt very much.



Ahhh you mean give him a kick that will make him "Out Of Service" for the rest of his life!!!
...
good idea but you see the punch in the face was a reflex reaction!!
hope there won't be next time...but good idea for next time
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Etherfish

USA
3602 Posts

Posted - Mar 11 2011 :  7:35:32 PM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Mar 12 2011 :  05:42:38 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
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Delara

Lebanon
305 Posts

Posted - Mar 12 2011 :  06:24:54 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
never mentioned that incident before nor allowed myself to think or remember it for long!
My intention in mentioning it here just to show a simple situation where being peaceful is not applicable anymore.
Speaking for myself!never reacted violently to oral abuse!but when it comes to feeling physical threatenedI become very violent!
Sorry if my reply is a bit irritating or way far from your peaceful solutions...If this is the case then the best thing is to ignore it...
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Ananda

2968 Posts

Posted - Mar 12 2011 :  06:35:38 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ananda's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
A+ dear Delara, I fully agree with you. There are other situations also, like facing radicals or fundementalists... If we'd let them have their way, they would take it all...

All in all I don't know why but once one starts practicing meditation for a while... Sticky situations become way much less and almost non existent plus things become peaceful around you or you make them so even when they're usually not.

Speaking for myself, if I would get hit by someone I won't stand and smile at him. He'll have a negative reaction from my side

Om Shanti Om

Love,
Ananda
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