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 Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development
 Suppressing sexual urges ?
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86 Posts

Posted - Dec 15 2007 :  12:30:58 PM  Show Profile  Visit sushman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
(1) How to suppress the sexual urges (mental) and continue with brahmacharya?

(2) how much does bramhacharya help the SB, meditation and samyama practices?

I don't want to practice tantric sexual methods either.

Cheers !

Edited by - sushman on Dec 15 2007 12:31:45 PM


1457 Posts

Posted - Dec 16 2007 :  08:18:20 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi sushman

How to supress mental sexual urges?

Yes that's something, as a man, I have battled with for many years. I don't like the word "supress" however.

I think it depends on a few things.
Man or woman - apparently it is easier for a woman. Information says that a lot of women, when they stop sexual activity the sexual urges also go. Not so with most men, although I know one man who does loose the urge when he stops practicing, but I think this is the exception.

Diet - A vegitarian diet is more conducive to brahmacharya (celibacy).

Spinal Breathing/Pranayama - If you see something that arouses you or think of something, the object of desire can be let go and the energy from it breathed up and down the spine. In this way there is no supression and full use made from what is available.

Hope that helps a little
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969 Posts

Posted - Dec 16 2007 :  1:20:25 PM  Show Profile  Visit Scott's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I certainly haven't achieved celibacy in the long term, but I have for periods of time. What always helps me is staying busy, and when the urges arise, go do something with a lot of people that is very productive. (Actually, don't even let the urges arise) This way the mind is absorbed entirely in something else. You may have to be busy so much, and be around people so long, that when you go to bed at night you just pass out from exhaustion. That's all that I've found which really works for me.

Also stay away from the object of attraction...I'm guessing it's women for you. Don't be going to the beach where they all walk around close to naked. Don't watch movies where they act seductive, etc.

Also, once you've turned away from desire, it seems harmless to let it back in. But that's when you've got to keep your memory strong and your determination firm, to make sure that you stay on your path. It's very easy to fall back into temptation. It is probably the easiest thing in the world!

For me, brahmacharya smooths out the effects of the kundalini and slightly improves health.
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1608 Posts

Posted - Dec 16 2007 :  2:35:19 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Originally posted by sushman

(1) How to suppress the sexual urges (mental) and continue with brahmacharya?

(2) how much does bramhacharya help the SB, meditation and samyama practices?

I don't want to practice tantric sexual methods either.

Cheers !

Hi Sushman,

You had some of these questions in antoher thread, so replied here in case you miss them:
(3) I would like to suppress the sexual urges (mental) and continue my brahmacharya...would the back-up and front-down approach (with SB) help with this? what are other methods that help suppressing sexual thoughts urges?

I would suggest that suppressing sexual urges (or any thoughts for that matter) is a lot like trying to squeeze the air out of a semi-inflated balloon by grabbing one end of it, the air simply jumps to the other side. I have found accepting the thoughts and then bringing the attention to the task at hand (in your case brahmacharya) to be a far more effective way to achieve desired results.

(5) how much does bramhacharya help the SB, meditation and samyama practices?

Retaining energy from avoiding ejaculation will definitely keep energy levels higher and intensify the upward push and flow of the inner energies making all practices more effective.

Edited by - Anthem on Dec 16 2007 2:38:04 PM
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38 Posts

Posted - Dec 17 2007 :  03:00:39 AM  Show Profile  Visit zzzMonster's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
If you manage the discipline not to ejaculate,you will really get lots of energy. Try watching porn for the weekends non stop and do NOT ejaculate,not even using the pressing method. You will feel that when you do pranayama, you can feel your hip really shaking - feels really good
You will also feel more energetic overall

Btw, I finally got the discipline after trying for 3 months ( lots of prana lost :( )
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46 Posts

Posted - Dec 18 2007 :  11:55:08 AM  Show Profile  Visit SeekingShiva's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Well I guess I am also struggling with this prana loss,in fact a lot lately.

For couple of months it was very much regulated but I do not know what is happening lately in this last week and half I am just like a bunny and so much urge is coming like back in college school days.

I am not sure what I am doing wrong, as I am eating vegetarian diet, although I did eat onions in the cooked formed.

I feel terrible when I loose prana but again after day or two I am high rolling/chasing wild thoughts..

Please help me understand what is going on.

I guess this "Maya" thing is very strong. So much so that I walk with my head down to not to see any women but still stupid mind......

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38 Posts

Posted - Dec 19 2007 :  09:40:25 AM  Show Profile  Visit zzzMonster's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I have gone through much worse,ejaculating twice per day,before I got the discipline;how about maybe you should watch porn till you are desensitize from sex like me
(The above advice maybe wrong - but it works for me)

Also,some of the others have said,when you have the urge, try doing pranayama instead

Have a nice day

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73 Posts

Posted - Dec 20 2007 :  4:01:23 PM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
This suppression stuff sounds like a real battle!

This is what I believe is best: Moderation. Sexuality is a normal part of being a human, and battling against it creates a lot of unconscious conflict in the mind. Haven't we read the ideas of Freud? There is some truth to his principles.

Having stated my point of view, I think commonsense celibacy should consist of periods of celibacy couple with periods of non-celibacy. Perhaps try 16 weeks out of the year of celibacy. Ejaculation certainly discharges energy, but there are worse ways of wasting energy eg. thinking about abstaining from sex, fighting urges, etc.

Diet is important for controlling sexual energies. Vegetarianism certainly helps. As Ramana Maharshi said, "the ideal diet consists of sattvic food in moderation". Good luck, but I think you're probably wasting lots of energy on thought by suppressing your urges.
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86 Posts

Posted - Dec 21 2007 :  11:06:03 AM  Show Profile  Visit sushman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Sorry, i have been busy over the week.

THANKS everyone for all inputs.
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86 Posts

Posted - Dec 21 2007 :  11:15:11 AM  Show Profile  Visit sushman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
(1) I have been vegetarian for almost two years now. but continue to eat spicy food with onions and garlic.

(2) I did try the SB method while having the urges/thoughts...does not seem to work for me though :)
may be lack of will power on this front....sexual thoughts have been my weakest link so far.
hope control will set in with more practices with SB and meditation.

(3) I wanted to bring up one thing. I was doing SB, meditation and samyama last year....any my sexual urges used to vanish after the samyama practices...i used to be less angry. but i had to stop practices for a long while and i have kickstarted it back. now samyama does not seem to do the trick. may be it will take some time to bring that effect again. will wait :)

(4) if fighting sexual thoughts will result in energy wastage, would not stopping the ejaculation (during sex / masturbation) do that as well? i think stopping the ejaculation would be a bigger conflict than stopping the urges...atleast for me. Fortunately, i have not had the desire to masturbate for last few months (mostly because of household situation - having company).
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409 Posts

Posted - Dec 21 2007 :  12:42:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Shusman,

From Raja Yoga by Yesudian and Haich:

"Moderation and the golden mean in everything--and this means our love life too. Christ said: '...and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.' (Matthew 19; 12). Thus Jesus clearly says that there are people who sacrifice their love life in order to attain the kingdom of heaven. Those who have come to be ripe for a life of complete continence and are ready to live in this manner, can reach the goal more quickly. For those who have not yet learned to divert their sexual power into higher nervous centres, it is useless to try to force themselves into living a life of continence. Sexual desire must not be suppressed, as this can cause great harm. It must be transmuted--in the words of occidental psychology--'sublimated". So far as possible we should lead a pure life. On the other hand, if continence causes constant unrest, these forces should be diverted and led off in a moderate sexual life. A number of the mediaeval mustics lived a notmal married life and also reached the goal.

The important thing is that we succeed in consciously guiding our thoughts and feelings toward spiritual matters--that we refuse to occupy our thoughts with erotic ideas. Then our body will follow our consciousness. Our body will not draw our consciousness downward and will not disturb our peace by erotic desires. This does not mean we should simply suppress such desires by a primitive act of will. It does mean that we are to train our mind and our body to the point where no erotic desires arise. For sensuality does not dwell in the body or the senses but in our thoughts. When we learn to control our thinking, the body will be obedient in all things!"

Sushman, you can waste alot of time by not being honest with yourself (I am not saying whether you are or you are not, you have to decide this) about where you are at right now in relation to your sexual energy. It is best, in my experience, to simply accept that you are a human being who is the same as most everyone else(unless you are not an ordinary mortal,....I can only speak for myself ) and follow the course of gentle persuasion with regards to guiding the course of the river of your sexual energy into the higher nerve and brain centers.

This will, in itself release alot of stress from your mind and create some peace. Don't fight it but learn to guide it. And don't make a big deal out of it.

Along time a go my teacher tried to gently point me in this direction but I didn't have ears to hear him at the time. Hope to save you some time and trouble.

The most important thing is regular practice of meditation, no matter what.

BTW,I don't mean to presume anything about you or your situation, if it sounds like it.

Wish you well, yb.

Edited by - yogibear on Dec 21 2007 12:56:14 PM
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86 Posts

Posted - Dec 22 2007 :  08:05:32 AM  Show Profile  Visit sushman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks YB for your valuable inputs. I get what you mean.

Actually, I don't try to fight my sexual urges that much. I happily indulge them sometimes as I have not transcended that yet :)

But I prefer not having them at all...thats all (as it drains the energy and also slows the progress).

Some more background of myself:
(1) I become a vegetarian few years ago realizing the need for compassion to other beings (purification, I guess). Though it was difficult at first, i had strong will power backed by strong compassion...the real key was the later. Later, it become very natural to be a vegetarian. Even now i get tempted on very rare occassions but it does not control me anymore and I easily control those thoughts.

(2) I tried quitting alcohol quite a few times (on & off). I am a very moderate drinker (once a week or less). But there was no strong reason to quit except that its not good for spiritual progress....pls don't ask if there can be any other strong reason than this? :)

now i am on the quitting spree again (for last 3 months or so)...this time it seems quite natural so far. hope i will succeed this time.

some of this control, I guess I owe it to the practice (which i kickstarted recently) and purification. I have also got a ISHTA god, the bhakti helps as well.

(3) same as #2 with my sexual urges these....though I indulge the thoughts happily, i have not had the urge to masturbate or intercourse. again, i think its bcoz of the practices and my ishta god.

What i am trying to get it at is, one will need
(1) a strong reason (compassion, bhkati, etc) to overcome something (addiction or anything you consider one wants to quit)
(2) strong will power (or mind control)
(3) not indulging in it as much as possible....i think the initial obstinence does bring on some will power to continue it

the combination would be perfect to overcome anything. but if one lacks any of these, it would be difficult to overcome.
however, the real key is will bring the others in time automatically.

lacking #1 and #2, it gets very difficult ... i guess #1 does not come to us unless we cleared the karma (related to that addiction)
though #3 alone does help overcome it (atleast in the short-term).

but if one keeps indulging in the addiction, then there is no way out (until #1 and #2 dawns naturally in course of time).
so, i feel it may be better to try #3 then not doing anything at all...who knows it may fasten the purification process to get hold of #1 and #2.

just thinking aloud...pls do chime your thoughts !!!

I am indeed no mortal ... sorta superhuman and godly :))))))))
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229 Posts

Posted - Dec 25 2007 :  3:18:37 PM  Show Profile  Visit cosmic_troll's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi sushman,

I know you said you don't want to practice tantric sexual methods, but my answer to your question is to practice the tantra methods. I think suppression of anything is usually not a good idea. However, for me, the tantric methods on this site have helped me control sexual urges.

One result of these practices is that I no longer desire orgasm/ejaculation. Tantric cultivation has gotten to the point where it is WAY more enjoyable than orgasm. THAT shift enables me to feel (and be comfortable with) sexual urges/impulses without needing to satisfy them through orgasm.

What that means is that I can (and do) feel sexual urges, but they no longer control me or make me crave orgasm. I can just let them be... I can feel the sexual urge, but it has no power to disturb or distract my mind. I can even transform the energy of the sexual urge into ecstasy, through pranayama.

I wish you the best in finding your own solution to this.

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409 Posts

Posted - Dec 26 2007 :  12:44:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Sushman,

In reading your posts and your bent of mind, I think you would benefit greatly form a book called Sexual Energy and Yoga by Elisabeth Haich.

She treats the subject from a right handed point of view with regards to dealing with the issues you have been voicing and training the mind in the direction you are wanting to go. I think you could get some ideas from reading it that would help you deal with the resolution of your situation. I have never read anything that comes close to it on the subject and I have read alot.

I am with cosmic troll when it comes to the left handed path but I was right handed for some time in my life. I do not crave orgasm at all and in fact I am unhappy when it happens for the reasons you mention. But I accept and enjoy it all the same when it does it does occur and forget about it. I just don't care anymore all that much I guess. I care and I don't care.

I have become apathetic, for lack of a better word, to alot of things that used to concern me and maybe you could consider that a sign of progress.

But I do think you would really like this book. Let me know what you think if you ever decide to check it out.

Best, yb.

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1457 Posts

Posted - Dec 27 2007 :  08:02:59 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I bought "Sexual Energy and Yoga by Elisabeth Haich." some time ago on YB's recommendation.

Well work a read, she treats it with great depth and clarity;

Thanks YB
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409 Posts

Posted - Dec 27 2007 :  6:34:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Sparkle,

Glad you got something out of the book.

And I should clarify that I meant ejaculation, not orgasm, in my last post.

According to Haich, semen is divine creative energy in materialized form and everytime you ejaculate, you die a little bit. You have less life force, less power.

You can look around you and see people who have wasted themselves and gradually or rapidly worn down and used up their reserves.

One of the best ways to do this is to live an immoderate life.

She isn't saying you can't achieve high spiritual states if you ejaculate now and then, just that your ability as a talent and creative force in the world is reduced correspondingly.

Along those lines, Louis, how did you like her explanation of personal influence and charisma via numerology? I thought it was pretty clever, myself.

Best, yb.
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52 Posts

Posted - Jan 06 2008 :  10:59:45 PM  Show Profile  Visit paw's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I'm a householder, and I fathered 10 kids with my dear wife (DW). I have had incredible amounts of ejaculatory sex for 45 years. Now at 60 years, thanks to God, Guru and yoga I am very healthy and strong for my age. I am fit, lean, and exercise daily for at least an hour with barefoot power-walking, mountainbiking, surfing real waves in Hawaii, light hatha asanas, supplemented with farm labor at home, and gardening.

I have an active sex life, still well able. I practice brahmacharya as needed. But sometimes I ejaculate. Like YogiBear says, I'm not too concerned.

And while I am semi-retired, I feel creative and capable to do the things I WANT to do. I practice kriya yoga, and have fine success, with rapid progress. So I cannot agree with Haich's idea that ejaculation wastes the vital forces.

"You can look around you and see people who have wasted themselves and gradually or rapidly worn down and used up their reserves." According to her idea, I should be in a care facility I suppose. LOL!

Sush, I agree with Cosmic Troll. For me personally anyway, tantra is more natural than abstinence and suppression.

And now I find that, more every day, I perceive my life experience as erotic, as Shiva Shakti saturates satchidananda.

Edited by - paw on Jan 07 2008 01:09:22 AM
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52 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2008 :  01:13:34 AM  Show Profile  Visit paw's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
On your other question, I feel brahmacharya is very helpful in generating spiritual energies when joined with SB and meditation. When I add more kriya cycles this year, I will practice brahmacharya first to cultivate needed energies. But I will still practice tantra.
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146 Posts

Posted - Jan 09 2008 :  02:40:28 AM  Show Profile  Visit avatar186's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
chastity is like the bible's saying about talents, its keepin what ya got, and not making more.

no sex, or stimulation, the energy gets stale. too much, and its like a plant with too much water.

fluid being like coagulated spirit, wast it too much, and you can reach a point were the body is drained, though were everyone stands is varied.

tantra! is the middle way no? haha
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409 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2008 :  7:11:10 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi paw,

I don't know what your definition of "rapid progress and fine success" is or what your definition of "incredible amounts of ejaculatory sex" is but congratulations on the 10 kids and hey, my hat is off to you, and your wife.

My understanding of Haich is that she is refering to a degenerate lifestyle and excesses in general as well, drinking for example, anything that requires extra you to utilize extra energy to neutralize the adverse effect.

You sound like you live a very healthy life over all and have a lot of life force to start with, kind of like a bank balance on which you can draw. And some people can build up life force naturally and unconsciously when they are living a healthy life in a beautiful environment in harmony with nature.

Hey, who knows where you would be if you had been celibate all your life or at least never ejaculating and sucessfully transmuting your energy to a higher form.

Haich says that you yourself are life energy and that semen is materialized life force. So every time you lose it, you lose a little life or yourself.

Some beings are bigger than others. Sounds like you have a great life.

Best wishes, yb.

Edited by - yogibear on Jan 10 2008 7:18:35 PM
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409 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2008 :  7:15:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Sushman,

Here is a favorite of mine. it is from William Walker Atkinson, before he became Yogi Ramacharaka. Maybe you will find it useful:

The Master Formula of Attainment:

You must:

1)Know exactly what you want

2)Want it bad enough

3)Persistantly determine to obtain it

4)Confidently expect to obtain it

5)Be willing to pay the price

They are all important but the last one is the kicker.

What exactly is it that you want, what are you trying to achieve and what do you have to give up in order to obtain it?

Will power is the manifestation of desire. If you have no desire you will have no will. The bigger this desire becomes, the more will power you will have and not vice versa. It will eventually swallow up the lesser desires.

Most people have plenty of will power (but it is from building up the wrong desire in the past, i.e., the one they are trying to get rid of now); it is the won't power that they need that they will get from building up their present desire. Once that desire is sufficiently strong they have no problem saying no to the old desire. It is the transition stage that is the hard part.

You build up desire by thinking of all the benefits of obtaining it and clearly recognizing how your contrary desires are preventing you from obtaining it. So you contemplate the benefits and the rip offs of either course of action without any kind of fight within yourself. Just recognition and taking credit for what ever desire you choose to indulge as a result.

That is my take on it right now.

Best, yb.

Edited by - yogibear on Jan 10 2008 7:26:45 PM
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86 Posts

Posted - Jan 13 2008 :  11:10:09 AM  Show Profile  Visit sushman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks YB and Paw.
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