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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 14 2007 :  2:33:19 PM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hello all,

Life has been very unpleasant for me the last four or more months. I came to AYP with serious energy imbalances and ended up aggravating them to the maximum. I´ve been experiencing episodes of severe depression and pain with nobody available to help me. I feel like I can´t go on anymore.

I ´ran into a brick wall´ at full speed with yoga practices just before I began this study abroad program here in Spain. It has been nothing but endless suffering for me and I hate it. My head has been filled with pressure, pain and sounds for months and I have not enjoyed my experiences here very much. I avoid socializing because it hurts my face to laugh. I hate the smoking here and most of the food is terrible. This trip has been the most unpleasant experience of my life. I´ll be here two more months, then my parents will come visit me here for two weeks before we return to the US. Oh God how I look forward to seeing them.

I´ve been living restlessly. I feel vibrations and shakiness in my whole body, especially in my head, unless I´ve just eaten a heavy meal. I´ve been walking and being active all day until my body is to the point of collapse. I´ve been listening to too much heavy metal. I only can sleep on my left side; sleeping on the right side sets my eye on fire and makes it sound like an alarm is going off inside my head. I´ve found that touching or rubbing my face or head aggravates the pains. I can´t read for very long, my favorite activity, because my head starts vibrating and I feel like I have to move. I don´t stretch or exercise my upper body because it worsens the symptoms. My concentration is a wreck, and I am not studying much. Most of my thoughts have been negative. I´ve complained enough.

The symptoms have been getting better very slowly, day by day. I am still restless, uncomfortable or in pain most of the day. I don´t know how to break this cycle for good. What is happening to me? What can I do to get better as quickly as possible? I can´t stop thinking about yoga, probably because it brought out the disorders and I am hoping it can eliminate them as well. I haven´t practiced in months, although I tried and it didn´t help. I appreciate it if anyone actually reads this or feels a desire to help. I´ve held this bottled up inside of me for too long, and it has been turning my heart to stone.

Balance

USA
967 Posts

Posted - May 14 2007 :  3:06:33 PM  Show Profile  Visit Balance's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Iced Earth,

I am sorry to hear of your continued suffering. I can bet you will get the same sentiment from others here very quickly. Please do continue to post here if it makes you feel any better to share your apparently agonizing experiences. I haven't experienced the degree of discomfort you describe so my advice to you is limited, others here may have had such intense discomfort and maybe can help more. The only thing I read from your post that sticks out to me as a possible source for further discomfort is the listening to heavy metal music. I would maybe consider something more soothing. The image I got when reading your post were a soothing soak in a hot spring (or tub) with birds singing in the back-ground and lots of green and blue surrounding with a pleasant breeze. Perhaps that kind of gentle grounding could help.

Wishing you ease of pain,
Alan
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 14 2007 :  5:42:15 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi, IcedEarth,

Sorry to hear things aren't working out for you. I've already suggested a lot of things. In this posting, I offer more questions and observations than advice.


1. "The symptoms have been getting better very slowly, day by day"

That's awesome. They don't have to get better, you know. They don't even have to not get worse! Improvement is good.


2. You got a lot of advice from a lot of people in those previous threads. I'm guessing you likely didn't/couldn't follow every single suggestion religiously and over long term. Since you're offering no clue as to which strategies you've consistently adopted (with success, albeit slow), you're just likely to receive repeats of the same advice.


3. Have you given conventional medicine and psychiatry a whirl? It's always a good thing to rule out worldly ills and preexisting behavioral issues that could be causing or at least augmenting these symptoms.


4. I'm not sure why you'd retry practice if things were going as badly as that...and why you'd apparently not chalk up some of your lingering problems to that decision. This is something that puzzled me in your previous postings, too. All during the time your symptoms first occurred, and even later, during our discussions, when many people urged you to scale back or lay off, you would report continuations or even escalations of practice or elements of practice....and then seem surprised by increase of symptoms.

You're not coming out and saying that this time, but I still don't see any linkage. To clarify: I'm less concerned with the (bad) decision to relaunch practice than with the seeming disconnect with your own cause/effect afterwards. This has perplexed me since you first started posting. Another surprising thing is the way you insert asides noting overall improvement into your accounts of ever-increasing hell.

My hunch is that these two bits of oddness may be related. Is it possible you're doing more to self-sabotage than you're aware? Then again, if you're truly improving (and you've always noted steady improvement), you can't be doing anythign all that bad. Unless your timing is meticulous, and every time improvement hits a certain point you restart practice, repeating a cycle. I'm not saying any of this is happening. But there may be some sort of unconscious pattern going on here.


As for the local food, there are a number of vegetarian restaurants in Barcelona serving California-hippy-style food, btw. They're in all the english language tourist guides.

Edited by - Jim and His Karma on May 14 2007 6:10:28 PM
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clk1710

92 Posts

Posted - May 14 2007 :  6:34:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
welcome back iced earth... i would agree with jim on checking into your physical health. i tend to take a more holistic approach on things..i would opt more for a doctor who has some understanding of kundalini and the energetic body. perhaps an ayurvedic doctor may be a good place to start.. and lots of prayer is also good...i'll keep you in my prayers as well. best of luck
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weaver

832 Posts

Posted - May 14 2007 :  7:45:12 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi IcedEarth,

Thank you for posting again, and I'm also very sorry to hear of your continued suffering. I don't mind hearing about what you experience, and even if the symptoms themselves may not cause any major risk for your physical health, it is serious the way you experience your suffering.

If I understand you right, you experience a slight gradual improvement over time. So this is a positive thing. This is what I experience too, with my crown energy. But even with this slight improvement, it's still so bad so you are contemplating not going on. This is the serious part. If you give up, everything will be worse. However, this doesn't mean resisting the process of the energies that is taking place. Is there a chance that you persist in a non-accepting attitude to what you experience? Or thinking that you are not supposed to suffer like this? That will make it feel worse. I have heard about kundalini cases where the symptoms got much more bearable once they did not resist anymore, surrendered completely, and gave in to the process. I'm not saying that you resist, but it can be worth considering.

Do you believe in God, Mother Mary and the healing angels? If so, you could pray to them to give you healing. Miracles have happened through sincere prayer.

Now, if you feel that your situation becomes unbearable, especially if you don't want to stay where you are anymore, you could do something drastic. Two months before coming home can be a long time. You could just contact your parents, you could leave the program, and you could go home now. Just coming home could be a welcome break.

Have you read Gopi Krishna's book about the ordeal he went through? Maybe it can help to read someone else's story, and see that maybe others can be worse than yours, and they still made it?

And, please be aware that there are people who can help you with this. A doctor with knowledge of kundalini could be a great help, like CLK suggested. I will post again the links to the ones who can treat kundalini symptoms, and I'm sure there are others. It will cost you some effort and money of course.

http://www.kundalinisupport.com/satsang.htm

http://www.kundaliniproblems.com/ku..._therapy.htm

Feel free to write as much as you want to share, there are many willing and understanding listeners here!
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jillatay

USA
206 Posts

Posted - May 14 2007 :  7:51:26 PM  Show Profile  Visit jillatay's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you IcedEarth. I have been experiencing overload this last week and am grateful that your experience could have been me.."there but for the grace of god go I." I might be in your shoes if AYP had not given me the warnings of excesses. I may not yet be out of the woods. Like you I get enthusiatic and want to push ahead.

I have read all of your recent posts and think Jim is onto something. Some part of you appears to be in a hurry for results and even in the face of these serious difficulities you still have an inclination to overdo practice.

Anyway, the discomfort I feel deters me but when it is not happening I easily forget and want to go back to my previous routine. I love meditation and the allure of progress calls me like the sirens song. However, when the surges come there is nowhere to hide and I am alone with all of the fallout.

Know that you are not alone.

May you have tranquility,
Jill
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 15 2007 :  2:22:10 PM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I really feel much better after making this post. Part of the pain is from having been through this ordeal, rather than how I am feeling right now. During the earlier months I didn´t know that the symptoms were aggravated by sleeping on the right side or touching/rubbing my face. I was in such excruciating pain that it was difficult to tell what made it worse.

I don´t plan to bail out on my trip this far. There are excellent travel plans made for when my family and friends come here. Weaver, thanks for the links, but I´m already past the super rough parts. I´ll see my alternative health practitioner when I get back. I emailed her a couple weeks ago about the issues and she said to surrender to God and spend time in nature. Then she emailed me again after speaking to her father who said I should run 5-6 miles a day and avoid anything spiritual. It confused me.

Should I give tai-chi a try? I took a few classes recently and practiced a few days. Some of the exercises worsened symptoms, some made me feel more calm and centered. Doing energy work around the tan dien: does anyone think it will move energy down from the head, or create too much energy?

I don´t know if I should ´surrender´ to what is happening. Even after having read about surrender, I don´t think I what it is or how to do it!
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 15 2007 :  2:35:45 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
best way to move energy quickly down from head is the following...not sure if I already suggested this to you, but I have posted it before. it's a tai chi move:


-------
stand with feet separated, knees comfortably bent into a half crouch, pressing your feet firmly and evenly into the floor (advanced move: press down with the point in the lateral center of your foot, between the balls of your big and little toes, down right at the point where the arch starts to form). Keep your back more or less straight but tilt it forward, as if you were ready to pounce. Go for a low, stable, center of gravity, like it would be hard for someone to knock you over. But relax.

Bend elbows 90 degrees and extend forearms directly in front of you, parallel to each other and with palms facing, at navel level. Keep shoulders relaxed. Visualize a ball between your hands. Concentrate on that ball, and fill it with energy.
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 15 2007 :  2:55:30 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
One note on the above posting...don't concentrate on the energy in your head as you do this. Concentrate on the ball. Remember that where you place your attention is where the energy goes. Paying attention to the energy in your head makes more energy pool in your head! The attention wants to go there, like your tongue wants to probe a chipped tooth. Resist.

Trying to push energy down from your head with attention placed on the head is the most futile exercise imaginable. Try the ball, it might actually fix the whole thing. But not just once.....keep working at it.

Edited by - Jim and His Karma on May 15 2007 2:55:55 PM
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Kyman

530 Posts

Posted - May 15 2007 :  10:53:15 PM  Show Profile  Visit Kyman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by IcedEarth

Hello all,

Life has been very unpleasant for me the last four or more months. I came to AYP with serious energy imbalances and ended up aggravating them to the maximum. I´ve been experiencing episodes of severe depression and pain with nobody available to help me. I feel like I can´t go on anymore.

I ´ran into a brick wall´ at full speed with yoga practices just before I began this study abroad program here in Spain. It has been nothing but endless suffering for me and I hate it. My head has been filled with pressure, pain and sounds for months and I have not enjoyed my experiences here very much. I avoid socializing because it hurts my face to laugh. I hate the smoking here and most of the food is terrible. This trip has been the most unpleasant experience of my life. I´ll be here two more months, then my parents will come visit me here for two weeks before we return to the US. Oh God how I look forward to seeing them.

I´ve been living restlessly. I feel vibrations and shakiness in my whole body, especially in my head, unless I´ve just eaten a heavy meal. I´ve been walking and being active all day until my body is to the point of collapse. I´ve been listening to too much heavy metal. I only can sleep on my left side; sleeping on the right side sets my eye on fire and makes it sound like an alarm is going off inside my head. I´ve found that touching or rubbing my face or head aggravates the pains. I can´t read for very long, my favorite activity, because my head starts vibrating and I feel like I have to move. I don´t stretch or exercise my upper body because it worsens the symptoms. My concentration is a wreck, and I am not studying much. Most of my thoughts have been negative. I´ve complained enough.

The symptoms have been getting better very slowly, day by day. I am still restless, uncomfortable or in pain most of the day. I don´t know how to break this cycle for good. What is happening to me? What can I do to get better as quickly as possible? I can´t stop thinking about yoga, probably because it brought out the disorders and I am hoping it can eliminate them as well. I haven´t practiced in months, although I tried and it didn´t help. I appreciate it if anyone actually reads this or feels a desire to help. I´ve held this bottled up inside of me for too long, and it has been turning my heart to stone.




For many, this experience is viewed as a blessing, and I think it in most cases would be but sometimes the order of things calls for some clashing between where we are inside and where we are in the environment.

Hopefully you will be able to find a safe in environment, and build safe relationships with people who can accept you as you are, and if you are really lucky, knows a bit about yoga.

I've had similar imbalances and been in similar emotional straights, so my thoughts go out to you.

There is a lot of momentum from our earlier years, when we only had our natural tendencies to guide us. Often an inertia carries over from our family members and friends. We have to put the breaks on the train, and take a new stop, middle of no where.

Hope life makes arrangements for you to feel the more blissful sides of your blessing!
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weaver

832 Posts

Posted - May 16 2007 :  12:12:14 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi IcedEarth,

It is very good to hear that there is considerable improvement with your energy symptoms! And seeing an alternative health practitioner when you get back I think is a very good plan. The fact that the conclusion from seeing your neurologist earlier was that your symptoms are psychosomatic, I think is a reason in itself to see it in a positive way. In the science of Yoga is it also commonly accepted that energy symptoms are just a temporary phase, and will pass, even if it is a long-term process, so one could possibly look at several months to years in some cases. But they always change over time as purification in the nervous system takes place, and if managed correctly they usually change into a more pleasant experience. And, in later stages many say that energies are barely noticeable.

I don´t know if I should ´surrender´ to what is happening. Even after having read about surrender, I don´t think I what it is or how to do it!

The way I see surrender is to completely accept what is now, and see that it is possible to do what is best in this particular situation, regardless of what it is. Surrender is to not blame yourself for what you did in the past that might have caused this situation, or to blame anybody or anything. In the past you did what you did, or others did, and that is past, nothing to do with it. Surrender is to not think or feel "this should not have happened to me", or "I don't deserve to feel this way" or "this is not fair". Resistance to completely accept what is now causes a cloud to form in the mind, preventing oneself from seeing what is real, and from making the best possible choices.

Surrender is not not taking action. We can do our best with any given situation even if we totally accept that the situation is valid or fair right now. We can make our plans and choices to work on changing the situation anyway.

Again, not saying that you don't accept, just writing my thoughts on surrender in general!

All the best!
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 16 2007 :  10:32:21 AM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Jim, The tai chi movement you described is similar to some that I was recently taught. I was taught to move the energy back and forth with hands from the navel point to the opposite point on the spine. Another was to move energy around the waistline using the hands, imagining it like a whirling pool. I was also shown a few movements for creating equilibrium on both sides, mostly with energy in the lower body. I think they are along the same lines as what you described.

Hmm, this experience being a blessing? I think that may be true if the experienced is used to burn up egoic habits. I have had some problems with past habits arising since these things happened, as well as feelings of apathy. Maybe it´s a chance to pick up some new activities, especially ones outdoors!

Weaver, thanks for your explanation on surrender. I think it is one of those things that must be done intuitively, because it requires going beyond the mind´s desire to have control over everything.

Recently I´ve discovered a few things that are accelerating healing: keeping my hands away from my face and head, sleeping on the left side, and running. I don´t want to speak too soon, but the symptoms overall seem to be decreasing. I hope things don´t turn around and get worse.
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 16 2007 :  11:00:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by IcedEarth

Jim, The tai chi movement you described is similar to some that I was recently taught.


It's the same in that it's coming from the same tradition...taoist energy practice. but it's not the same, no.


quote:
Originally posted by IcedEarth
Hmm, this experience being a blessing? I think that may be true if the experienced is used to burn up egoic habits. I have had some problems with past habits arising since these things happened, as well as feelings of apathy. Maybe it´s a chance to pick up some new activities, especially ones outdoors!



Every experience, without exception, is exactly that. Everything that happens to us has the power to teach us exactly what we need to learn in that moment.
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 24 2007 :  10:02:53 AM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I´m still experiencing heavy feelings of depression that I can´t seem to shake off. My sleep is broken and I have a ravenous, unappeasable appetite. My concentration is totally broken. I cannot pay attention in class without thinking about my problems. When it is night I am waiting for day to come and when it is day I am waiting for night to come.

The worst thing is that it is painful for me to laugh. It really hurts my cheeks and eyes, causing burning and muscle spasms. I´ve been avoiding social activities and eating in solitude. I actually try to prevent myself from laughing even if something is funny, because I don´t want to hurt, but that doesnt work very well. This is not a good thing as one can imagine. It also feels weird to be around other people and not be cheerful or talkative. Does someone have a suggestion on how to look upon this situation?

I´ve been going to tai chi classes a couple times a week. Sometimes it is helpful and other times one of the movements aggravates symptoms. Should I keep it simple, sticking to a couple movements and the forms on a daily basis? Also, if you read this Jim, is it okay to practice that one move for a couple minutes every couple hours? I also read on one of your posts that inner silence can be a remedy for kundalini symptoms.

I´ve only shared these things with my parents, whom I haven´t seen in months. Again I don´t feel spectacular sharing my depression notes with a yoga forum but I´ve been going through some serious illness for quite some time.
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 24 2007 :  11:04:18 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
IcedEarth, per my posting above, it'd be helpful if you could recount which solutions (out of the myriad ones offered you by several of us over the course of several forum topics over many months) you've tried.

Laughing, like crying and shivering, brings up kundalini energy via the diaphragmatic spasms. That's why these are healing actions human beings instinctively do, and this is also why they are somewhat contagious (it's also why science doesn't understand any of them).

Re: Tai Chi, I'd do the movement that helps whenever you feel it might be helpful, and would never do the movement that aggravates. Following your inner guru means doing the things that help and not doing the ones that hurt! :)

Re: inner silence, try this: accept and don't judge. However you feel in a given moment, accept and don't judge. Same for the pain. Same for the depression. Same for the energy. Try to perceive what's happening to you less as "bad". You'll notice if you self-examine quite closely that there's a part of you that registers as a neutral witness, without suffering or recoiling. It's the screen on which all the images of the movie of day-to-day living play out. That's the part to identify with, more and more.

Follow the formula Pain + resistence = suffering, and offer less and less resistence to EVERYTHING. You're not an overstuffed sausage. You are emptiness. Let the winds of the universe pass transparently through your insubstantiality. The reed is not tortured by the constantly pummeling wind because the reed doesn't conceive of "wind" as a separate thing.

Edited by - Jim and His Karma on May 24 2007 12:04:21 PM
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 24 2007 :  3:20:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Okay, this is what I´ve tried that helps:
going for a walk or run in the morning
Being in open spaces
Eating something every 3-4 hours
Travelling on the weekends
Not touching my face and head
Sleeping on my left side
Listening to music while walking around
Doing one thing at a time (difficult for me right now)
The energy ball exercise (I´m pretty sure it´s helping me)

Jim, I have to give props to you. You have given me a ton of advice in my past posts. The truth is, I came to AYP really screwed up, I got more screwed up by trying to fix things and moving ahead too fast, and well, I crashed and burned. Getting out of this mess has been the most difficult thing I´ve ever done in my life, right next to quitting all drugs except an occasional drink.

I have not been doing the spinal twist you suggested a while back. I did a couple asanas a few weeks back and it harmed me, so I´ve kept those out. I just got out of my tai chi class and talked to the teacher. She suggested just gently holding my awareness at the tan dien. She also suggested an exercise where you gently scrunch the eyes while moving the hands down the body with the intention of moving the energy to the tan dien. From her own experience, she really, really thought it would help with my eyes , but I still feel afraid to try it. I´m afraid of a lot of things right now. She also offered to do some reiki without manipulating the crown or head. I think it could help me.

Another thing I´ve done a few times this week is lying down on my left side in the grass, closing my eyes and just being aware of silence for a few minutes. It is calming and I *think* it might help smooth out symptoms. I don´t know, but I doubt it will destroy me again.
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 24 2007 :  4:51:21 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I do not like the sound of the eye thing, though i see where she's coming from. I'd also hesitate on the reiki, unless you feel like she truly understands the problem is TOO MUCH energy. Much healing involves adding energy. Healers are usually not set up to go the other way.

Grass is good. Nature is good. As for "destroy me again", I'd avoid that sort of dramatic imagery. Reread the last two paragraphs of my previous posting. You are insubstantiability. There's no edifice there to be destroyed and ravaged. All there is is a knot of imagined resistence to what is.

Do the energy ball exercise several times per day. Don't think about it. Don't analyze it. Just fill the ball. Be dumb!

Edited by - Jim and His Karma on May 24 2007 4:58:24 PM
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Jim and His Karma

2111 Posts

Posted - May 24 2007 :  4:54:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
One more thing. Do this gently and slightly. Do not overdo it. Respect that a little goes a long way. For a few minutes while walking every day, establish a connection between your solar plexus and the center of the earth. Like your solar plexus is being "grounded". Let gravity do it all.

This isn't something to "experiment with" or otherwise take apart and analyze and obsess over or in any way grow or cultivate. And it's not for lots of other people to fool around with...it's for you. Just take it at face value, and don't overdo it. After a few days, please report how this works for you (here in the thread, so others can follow along).

Edited by - Jim and His Karma on May 24 2007 4:56:06 PM
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 30 2007 :  10:25:51 AM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Overall, things continue to improve. I spent the past weekend hiking in the mountains, and it is most helpful for grounding energies. I would do it pretty much everyday if I had the opportunity right now!

I think the energy ball exercise is working. I´ve been doing it several times a day, and each time I do it I feel the tension in my head ease up as much as it is willing to. Same for the walking technique. It´s still early as I´ve only been doing these exercises a little over a week.

I´m lucky I have a really light workload these days. I will only have 3 final exams in the next month, and then I will have a good while to do travelling, relaxing, whatever... But I gotta get back to normal by mid August when classes at my home university start. It will be my last year before I graduate from the university, and it´s going to be tough, lots of work.

Lots of what I have been dealing with is fear that the symptoms and such are going to return. I think it is after reading Gopi Krishna´s terrible and unexpected recurrences of symptoms. I have definitely continued to move in the right direction, but I still get this feeling that things will return again and overtake me.

I´ve also been reading some writings about what Stanislav Grof calls a Spiritual Emergency. Being tormented by inner energies and then moving to a foreign country for several months definitely helped create this situation. It´s helpful to have a benificial context to look at this situation rather than saying to myself I have a plethora of nervous disorders or that I´m psychotic. This isn´t the first time I´ve had this kind of thing happen to me. I´ve had a series of psychosomatic symptoms come up a couple times in my life already. I´ve been quite prone to such things. This stuff has been going on for over 16 weeks and I really want it all to end.
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weaver

832 Posts

Posted - May 30 2007 :  6:40:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Overall, things continue to improve. I spent the past weekend hiking in the mountains, and it is most helpful for grounding energies ..... I think the energy ball exercise is working. I´ve been doing it several times a day, and each time I do it I feel the tension in my head ease up as much as it is willing to. Same for the walking technique.

Hi IcedEarth!

This is very good to hear! Now you have proven to yourself that you can have control over the process when you see that what you apply has an effect, and in the direction that you intend.

Keep it up and keep us posted!
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 31 2007 :  06:02:20 AM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yeah it´s nice that it helps a bit but I´m still stuck with terrible headaches. I hate this trip and I can´t wait till it is over. I don´t get it, I keep cycling between depression and peaceful acceptance of how things are. I have no energy to do any work and I´ve been feeling irritable and apathetic. I haven´t laughed or smiled in days, I told myself I´ll heal better if I don´t move my facial muscles and it helps but it is saddening. I can´t seem to let go of the whole ordeal of what is going on. The only good thing is that outer conditions should be better a month or two from now. I really wish I had someone I could talk to about this in person, but I don´t have any opportunity to do so.
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 31 2007 :  06:06:42 AM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Oh yeah another thing that has been bugging me. I feel afraid to be breathing and being aware that I am breathing. I think it is because I had so many negative experiences with spinal breathing and other pranayamas in the past. I don´t know how I can reconcile peace with my breath without fear that I am going to do something terrible to my energy body.
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Etherfish

USA
3615 Posts

Posted - May 31 2007 :  07:43:49 AM  Show Profile  Visit Etherfish's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
"Yeah it´s nice that it helps a bit but I´m still stuck with terrible headaches"

Do you know how to get rid of your headaches by putting your full consciousness on them?

Edited by - Etherfish on May 31 2007 07:44:30 AM
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - May 31 2007 :  2:36:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish


Do you know how to get rid of your headaches by putting your full consciousness on them?



Well, I haven´t experimented much with that. I assumed that since I have had so many kundalini symptoms that putting my attention on my head wouldn´t be a good idea. I once read in a book that whenever you have a headache, just be with it and the consciousness will heal it. Should I try this for a few days, or do you know something different? My headache is likely amplified by emotional distress.

My head aches mostly at the brow point and the right temple, inside my right ear, and especially at the nasal passage. But sometime´s it´s like my brain is being squeezed. Prior to these energy issues I´ve had little problems with headaches in my life. I just took a tai-chi/qi gong class and it seems to have reduced the symptoms. I think they might come back as they usually do.

Any advice for dealing with my headaches would be appreciated, thanks.
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riptiz

United Kingdom
741 Posts

Posted - May 31 2007 :  3:12:05 PM  Show Profile  Visit riptiz's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Iced earth,
Have you tried spinal breathing from the top down, instead of from the root upwards? When I have tried from the root upwards it seems to activate more energy and bring it up.When breathing from the crown downwards it appears more getle and it may be more appropriate for you.You don't have anything to lose in my opinion as you are having many problems.
L&L
Dave
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IcedEarth

73 Posts

Posted - Jun 02 2007 :  04:01:43 AM  Show Profile  Visit IcedEarth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by riptiz

Hi Iced earth,
Have you tried spinal breathing from the top down, instead of from the root upwards? You don't have anything to lose in my opinion as you are having many problems.



Nope, can't say I have tried that. In the past when I was doing spinal breathing, I jumped too quickly to using the bells and whistles, and they caused a lot of problems. I've had some scary experiences with the milky white stream, so I don't know if I want to try it. My acupuncturist told me not to do any pranayama.

Also, I'm not sure if I am still dealing so much with an energy overload, but more of energy imbalances. It's trapped in my head, and the sound of OM is so loud sometimes it's frightening. I still ocassionally get some energy jolts when I am sleeping and they wake me up. Any way to deal with this would be helpful.

Edited by - IcedEarth on Jun 02 2007 06:22:25 AM
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